|
Post by Evan Andrews on Sept 18, 2009 21:27:53 GMT -6
Much Appreciated. Thanks in advance.
|
|
|
Post by Maniac on Sept 19, 2009 19:53:19 GMT -6
I'm gonna be honest bro, WAY TOO LONG. I couldn't even read all of the second one because it just totally lost my attention. i'm sorry man, but you could of easily split your first rp up in two and used the first half as a Devo and the second as an actual rp, and the second one, I don't know, you probably could of shortened it up allot. I know a two rp limit doesn't seem like allot, but when you cram three rps into one, its allot. Over all you seem like a great rper and I'm not trying to insult you, I"m just giving my honest opinion.
|
|
|
Post by Evan Andrews on Sept 20, 2009 15:19:28 GMT -6
* First Rp was going to be longer because I had to intro the characters.
* Second rp went long because I wanted to further the character's storyline.
Did they have to be as long as they were?
Probably not... but in terms of my own thinking, the character has to be developed, and his story has to be advanced, at least to some extant, throughout the course of each rp.
And, to be just as honest, I think that if I wrote rp's that were simply designed to hype the match, I'd bore myself and everyone else here to tears with what I would put out.
Still, I will work on making them a bit shorter, or flowing a bit better so that it seems like an easier read for people.
And I appreciate the feedback. Don't think this explanation is meant to counter what you just said.
|
|
|
Post by Will Washington on Sept 20, 2009 15:25:33 GMT -6
Yeah bro, I'd like to give you some constructive feedback, but I can't get all the way through it. I can tell you this, shorten it, and you'll do good things here.
|
|
|
Post by prodigy on Sept 20, 2009 15:39:16 GMT -6
I dunno, I liked them. Our writing styles are pretty similar, so that may be why. Description is good IMHO.
|
|
|
Post by Jimmy Zane on Sept 20, 2009 22:34:04 GMT -6
Terminus,
Hey bro, I think what Ed was trying to say was absolutely right. Think of it this way, there are 4 staffers...with another giving input if needed. There are 20+ active RPers here, and a lot of them RP the limit each week. Your RPs, while descriptive and informative, were way to long to give proper attention to. Imagine having to read 50+ RPs every week that were that long.
As a former fedhead, the last thing you want to have to do is read 4500 words in one RP then another 4500 words in another. Especially when 2500 TOTAL would do the trick.
Not saying you are a bad RPer at all. Just reiterating what Ed said. If you absolutely have to write that much, break part of it up as developmental. The people here will read it, and understand. Even at that, put a note at the beginning of your RP that it is a continuation of the developmental, then they will go back and read that if necessary.
Just expanding a bit more is all.
Welcome, and maybe we can work against each other soon.
Wil aka Jimmy Zane
|
|
|
Post by Maniac on Sept 23, 2009 15:32:13 GMT -6
I get where your going man and what your trying to do, but Wil was absolutely right. As one of the admins its our job to read EVERY single rp thats gets posted, devos included, so what I was getting at is yours were just a bit tough to read. It was like an entire history plus character devo plus trash talk all at once, not that any of thats bad, we all do that stuff, but it felt like several different role plays that were all brought together when they could of flowed much nicer as seperate pieces. I'm not trying to insult or demean or say one style is better than another, I like seeing different styles, if everyone did the same thing that'd suck, all I'm saying is try and break the stuff up a bit, tone it down and see where that takes you. Not every rp has to be the beginning, middle and end of its own story.
|
|
|
Post by Evan Andrews on Sept 25, 2009 12:06:14 GMT -6
Well, the first rp for this Suspense was a bit shorter (1800 words or so, which is half the length of the other rp's.) And, having introduced the characters, I probably won't delve as extensively into past history unless it's required for a storyline or rp.
Anyway, hope it was easier to read.
|
|
|
Post by Maniac on Sept 25, 2009 18:46:42 GMT -6
This rp was way better IMO. The flow was nice, the promo portion was great, and the background we gained was nice.
|
|
|
Post by Evan Andrews on Oct 9, 2009 10:26:24 GMT -6
Complete Focus up. Feel free to back my feed for this or any of my other recent rp's.
|
|