Post by Recklessly Happy on Nov 19, 2009 5:39:44 GMT -6
( Chad Lights enters his apartment after a long day of work. Interviewing people was hard, especially when no one ever wanted to talk to you. But when he entered he was surprised to smell a delicious dinner being cooked. Now Chad didn't have a wife and his girl friend was every bit imaginary and rubbery as Everyman's. So Chad thought to himself that perhaps his mom had stopped by. He walked into the living room and across to the kitchen... )
Happy: HI CHAD!
Chad: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HELL!
Happy: Whats wrong?
Chad: Your in my home.
Happy: Yeah, I thought you said I could move in.
Chad: I WAS KIDDING!
Happy: Yeah but.. We were gonna be roomies, like Nelly and I were.
Chad: Well I'm not Nelly, so get out before I kick your ass.
Happy: But... But I made you dinner....
( Happy begins to sulk away, tears dripping down his paint. )
Happy: I guess I'll just go. Sorry I made you upset.... I'M SUCH A FAILURE!!!!
( Happy drops to the ground and begins kicking and screaming, his fists pounding the floor beneath his awesome weight. Chad just looks down at him and shrugs. He walks over and checks the oven, turkey had ten more minutes so he decided to go watch some football, stepping over the blubbering Mr. Happy and taking a seat on the couch. )
Chad: I wonder whats on... Hmm.. its Thursday... ah, supernatural is on tonight, sweet. Dean is so cool.
( Happy is still kicking and screaming but Chad doesn't seem to care,. After roughly three minutes of this Happy gets up, snot dripping down his face. He walks over and drops down on the couch next to Chad. )
Happy: Please don't hit me again daddy.
Chad: Are you ever going to leave?
Happy: And go where?
Chad: I thought you'd say that... sonovabitch.
Happy: Do you wanna smurf?
( Chad turns around and pimp smacks Mr. Happy. )
Happy: OWWW!!! What was that for.
Chad: I ain't a homo.
Happy: Me neither.
Chad: Oh... but... Never mind. Look man, don't you have a match to get ready.
Happy: I suppose, but I'm pretty sure I am ready... I guess I could put some pants on.
Chad: Do you really just walk into every match this unprepared, do you even know who your fighting?
Happy: Falcon?
Chad: The World Champion? YEAH RIGHT!
Happy: Well I just figured nCw would see how awesome I am and give me a shot.
Chad: You lost to Falcon last week.
Happy: But just barely.
Chad: Your not facing Falcon.
Happy: Well whoever I face, I'm sure it'll be a fun time for all.
( Chad face palms. )
Chad: We gotta butch you up. I swear to god if its the last thing I do I'm gonna make you a man.
Happy: So you do wanna smurf?
Chad: NO! Look Happy, you've got a match against a up and comer in nCw, someone who has already won more matches than you in half the time, this guy isn't going to joke around with you.
Happy: Ok. I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Do you think he likes cupcakes? I make excellent cupcakes.
Chad: Oh my god, every time you talk I just want to hit you.
Happy: Thats what Mongo used to say to. I don't miss him. But I do hope he can recover from that strain of super aids that Steve Awesome gave him.
Chad: Its like a flesh and blood interpretation of everything I hate about Disney.
Happy: Why thank you Chad, and you don't look so bad yourself. Now about this... line...
Chad: Andrew Jacobsen.
Happy: Yeah, about him. From what you've just told me I've heard good things about this guy. Seems like a real live challenge and I'm looking forward to doing all the stuff in the ring normal wrestlers look forward to doing. I mean who doesn't want to just get in there and bump uglies with biggest meanest guys in the yard all the while greased from head to toe like a giant condom while rolling around on the mat with some of these stud muffins... Where was I going with this?
Chad: You want to win, Happy.
Happy: THATS RIGHT! I do want to win because winning is fun and its way more fun than losing which I've done enough of this week. So as cool of a guy as I'm sure... LINE!
Chad: Andrew Jacobsen.
Happy: As cool of a guy as he may be, I'm way more interested in winning this match this week, so if I gotta wrestle like I've never wrestled before, then so be it. But I'm gonna tell you right now, I love you Andrew and I don't even know you, but you don't know what that means do you? What my love means to me? Your gonna find out. And whether that love brings you absolute happiness or a trip to the morgue is still yet to be known. What I do know is you got a big old bear hug coming your way buddy. NOW LETS GO EAT SOME TURKEY!!!!
( Happy jumps off the couch and heads back into the kitchen. Chad shakes his head and gets up. He walks toward the kitchen then stops, inspecting his bird cage. )
Chad: Hey Happy, where's...my...bird... NO!
( Chad bolts into the kitchen and this is where we fade to black. )
Happy: HI CHAD!
Chad: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HELL!
Happy: Whats wrong?
Chad: Your in my home.
Happy: Yeah, I thought you said I could move in.
Chad: I WAS KIDDING!
Happy: Yeah but.. We were gonna be roomies, like Nelly and I were.
Chad: Well I'm not Nelly, so get out before I kick your ass.
Happy: But... But I made you dinner....
( Happy begins to sulk away, tears dripping down his paint. )
Happy: I guess I'll just go. Sorry I made you upset.... I'M SUCH A FAILURE!!!!
( Happy drops to the ground and begins kicking and screaming, his fists pounding the floor beneath his awesome weight. Chad just looks down at him and shrugs. He walks over and checks the oven, turkey had ten more minutes so he decided to go watch some football, stepping over the blubbering Mr. Happy and taking a seat on the couch. )
Chad: I wonder whats on... Hmm.. its Thursday... ah, supernatural is on tonight, sweet. Dean is so cool.
( Happy is still kicking and screaming but Chad doesn't seem to care,. After roughly three minutes of this Happy gets up, snot dripping down his face. He walks over and drops down on the couch next to Chad. )
Happy: Please don't hit me again daddy.
Chad: Are you ever going to leave?
Happy: And go where?
Chad: I thought you'd say that... sonovabitch.
Happy: Do you wanna smurf?
( Chad turns around and pimp smacks Mr. Happy. )
Happy: OWWW!!! What was that for.
Chad: I ain't a homo.
Happy: Me neither.
Chad: Oh... but... Never mind. Look man, don't you have a match to get ready.
Happy: I suppose, but I'm pretty sure I am ready... I guess I could put some pants on.
Chad: Do you really just walk into every match this unprepared, do you even know who your fighting?
Happy: Falcon?
Chad: The World Champion? YEAH RIGHT!
Happy: Well I just figured nCw would see how awesome I am and give me a shot.
Chad: You lost to Falcon last week.
Happy: But just barely.
Chad: Your not facing Falcon.
Happy: Well whoever I face, I'm sure it'll be a fun time for all.
( Chad face palms. )
Chad: We gotta butch you up. I swear to god if its the last thing I do I'm gonna make you a man.
Happy: So you do wanna smurf?
Chad: NO! Look Happy, you've got a match against a up and comer in nCw, someone who has already won more matches than you in half the time, this guy isn't going to joke around with you.
Happy: Ok. I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Do you think he likes cupcakes? I make excellent cupcakes.
Chad: Oh my god, every time you talk I just want to hit you.
Happy: Thats what Mongo used to say to. I don't miss him. But I do hope he can recover from that strain of super aids that Steve Awesome gave him.
Chad: Its like a flesh and blood interpretation of everything I hate about Disney.
Happy: Why thank you Chad, and you don't look so bad yourself. Now about this... line...
Chad: Andrew Jacobsen.
Happy: Yeah, about him. From what you've just told me I've heard good things about this guy. Seems like a real live challenge and I'm looking forward to doing all the stuff in the ring normal wrestlers look forward to doing. I mean who doesn't want to just get in there and bump uglies with biggest meanest guys in the yard all the while greased from head to toe like a giant condom while rolling around on the mat with some of these stud muffins... Where was I going with this?
Chad: You want to win, Happy.
Happy: THATS RIGHT! I do want to win because winning is fun and its way more fun than losing which I've done enough of this week. So as cool of a guy as I'm sure... LINE!
Chad: Andrew Jacobsen.
Happy: As cool of a guy as he may be, I'm way more interested in winning this match this week, so if I gotta wrestle like I've never wrestled before, then so be it. But I'm gonna tell you right now, I love you Andrew and I don't even know you, but you don't know what that means do you? What my love means to me? Your gonna find out. And whether that love brings you absolute happiness or a trip to the morgue is still yet to be known. What I do know is you got a big old bear hug coming your way buddy. NOW LETS GO EAT SOME TURKEY!!!!
( Happy jumps off the couch and heads back into the kitchen. Chad shakes his head and gets up. He walks toward the kitchen then stops, inspecting his bird cage. )
Chad: Hey Happy, where's...my...bird... NO!
( Chad bolts into the kitchen and this is where we fade to black. )
