Post by Keybo Shabaz on Dec 4, 2009 4:09:51 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: December is upon us, and that means christmas... err.. I'm sorry.. "Holiday" times are here. But, that doesn't matter. Because it's once again time for... da da dadaaaaaa...
The Pulse!
Names are being added and removed from the Riot match on a daily basis, and people have already started the custom of their smurf waving contests. But, that's something to behold for later.
Keybo: Weeks come and go, but you can't afford to miss a single show. Things happen quick around here. Itchy trigger fingers and all..
Trauma
Blackheart vs Diego Davies vs Kronos vs Tempestad
Keybo: Four men walked in, and only two managed to walk out without the dreaded "Future Endeavors" speech. And again, I pick the winners out of the losers.
Tempestad 1-0
Chris Cobain vs Brad Kane
Keybo: Wow, he showed me. Of course, wrestling skills can't buy you a personality.
Brad Kane 1-1
Sexy Jason vs Mark Evil
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: Didn't go bad, but it could have gone a lot worse. Maybe the Evil one is just a little rusted from faking his death.
Sexy Jason 2-1
Collision
Dirty Deal vs Atreyu and Mr. Mysterio
Keybo: As if Atreyu and Mysterio needed any more reason to hate each other, chaulk up a loss against... ugh... Dirty Deal. This is when I hate being right.
Dirty Deal 3-1
Rob Diamond (c) vs Freakke the Clown
nCw X Division title match
Keybo: Freakke looked like he might come close to standing a chance, but a timely interruption by Andrew Jacobsen, and Diamond closed the deal with definition.
Rob Diamond 4-1
Joe Everyman vs Will Washington
Keybo: Click Clack, Bang Bang. Take that Everyman.
Will Washington 5-1
Lance Ryan vs Gabriel Karras vs James Bradley vs Andrew Jacobsen vs Jack Hammond
RIOT match preview
Keybo: Five men showed just a sample of what waits at Transgression. And exactly as I predicted, the man who has the most experience in that ring, found a way to make it through in one piece.
Lance Ryan 6-1
Adam Knite and Gib vs Falcon and Xavier Cross
Keybo: Knite and Gib are smart men. They knew the men across the ring would play fair, and keep it simple. But they could not expect the same from Dirty Deal. In when the smoke cleared, that distraction cost them.
Falcon and Cross 7-1
Week: 7-1
2009: 197-116
Keybo: Another week trudges by, and we find ourselves closer to Transgression. Closer to the cataclysmic shift that comes everytime we make you pay to watch it.
Trauma
Tempestad vs Jake Keeton vs Paul James vs Atreyu vs Chris Cobain
Riot Preview
Keybo: The last Riot preview contained some of the best nCw put into the match. Now, we take a look at those we haven't seen too much of. At least, not yet.
Jake Keeton
Freakke the Clown vs Andrew Jacobsen
Special Referee: Rob Diamond
Keybo: Andrew's soapbox rant ruined Freakkes title chances last week. Now the clown can prove he earned it, and Jacobsen can make his case of reversed fortunes.
Andrew Jacobsen
Xavier Cross vs Sexy Jason
Keybo: Jason had a chance, Cross gets the next one. Sort of a symbolgistic passing of the torch here.
Xavier Cross
Lance Ryan vs Angel
Keybo: Angel was asked back for the Riot match, and Lance believed that Angel would not wrestle before then. I've known Angel for a longtime and I know he would work off his rust in ring. Apparently Diamond and the irony Gods thought the same.
Angel
Collision
Mr. Mysterio vs Jack Hammond
Xtreme Rules
Keybo:[/color] If I were Mysterio right now, I'd be a little wary of Xtreme rules. He's going to be forfeiting them when he fights for the Honor title. But I don't think it matters to the Hamster.
Jack Hammond
Rob Diamond vs Gib
Keybo:[/color] A rematch a lot of people have been waiting to see. Diamond continues to improve, Gib continues to prove he's still got it, this is going to be epic.
Rob Diamond
Dirty Deal vs James Bradley and Gabriel Karras
Texas Tornado Xtreme Tag
Keybo:[/color] Dirty Deal wants those titles back, and they're looking to take it out on the God boys. Start praying boys.
Dirty Deal
Joe Everyman vs Hexx
Keybo:[/color] Usually, when Hexx has a match, you just bet against him to take your winnings. But, it's Joe Everyman, and it's not secret why I don't like him.
Hexx
Jimmy Zane and Falcon vs Brad Kane and Will Washington
Keybo:[/color] Zane and Washington have been interfering in each others careers for a couple months, and this match is only going to exaservate that fact. Falcon and Kane.. are just here to make things interesting.
Brad Kane and Will Washington
Keybo: Now, my guest for this week is the perpetual icon for bad karma.. Bad Luck Chuck!
("When I come around" by Green Day plays as Chuck steps out from backstage, slowly. He waves timidly at the crowd, then trips over some random cord that nobody knows what it's connected to. He gets up sheepishly, and takes his seat on the couch.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Chuck.
Chuck: uhhh thanks.. great to be here...
Keybo: I'd ask how you were doing, but I have a feeling I know the answer to that.
Chuck: Hey, my luck will change.. you'll see.
Keybo: Right. I have some fanmail for you.
Chuck: I have fans!?!?
Keybo: Yeah, weird isn't it?
Chuck: Totally.
Keybo: Mr. Happy from.. His car, asks... Hey Chuck, when your all done with your thingy can we get a hot dog? Oh and uhhh... How did your luck change exactly?
Chuck: I don’t know how he got in my car, but if the dude wants to get a hot dog then im totally down. Wait…unless it’s a gay thing….you think it’s a gay thing?
Keybo: This is Mr. Happy were talking about here.
Chuck: True. True. Look Happy, we can get a hot dog, but you gotta promise me you wont grab my butt while were eating. And as far as my luck changing…I thought it did. Thought I found this magical leprechaun that was going to become my good luck charm and stuff. Turns out he was an insane dwarf that wanted to rape me. Why does that always happen to me?
Keybo: Something could be said about looking for trouble. Chavo Guerrero from Stamford, CT asks..How do you do it, the whole "breaking a loss streak" thing? I have this midget, and I can't seem to get rid of him...on an unrelated note, I would totally smurf Kelly Knite. Try a li'l Chavito Heat on for size, mamacita!
Chuck: Well at least your midget didn’t try to rape you. I think you have it lucky sir.
Keybo: If you knew the company he works for, you wouldn't say that. Frank Smith from New Jersey asks.. Hey Chuck, Have you ever figured out who it is that is always throwing that crap at you? You should beat him up!
Chuck: Believe me Frank…if I EVER find out who has been throwing those random objects at me….I will slap him in the face and high five him at the same time. I hate him, but you gotta admit sometimes the stuff is pretty clever.
Keybo: You do know that's Jimmy Turner, right? He just takes the garbage he sweeps and waits for you to come out.
Chuck: Really?
Keybo: Yea. Well that’s all the questions we have Chuck. Anything else you want to add?
Chuck: Yeah…one day very soon, my luck will change. But at least I won a match.
Keybo: Yes..yes you did. Well that’s all the time we have folks until next time I’m keyb-”
(Suddenly the couch that Chuck had been sitting on falls backwards unexplicably and Chuck falls to the ground.)
Keybo: That was unfortunate. Until next time I’m Keybo Sha-
(Suddenly, a giant light fixture falls down inches from where Chuck was laying.)
Keybo: My studio is falling apart it seems. Until next time I’m Keybo Shabaz and this is “Bad Lu-”
(Suddenly, a girl scout comes running onto the set, kicks Chuck in the shin and steals his wallet, crying about how he promised he'd buy ten million boxes of cookies.)
Keybo: Oooooooook... Let's try this again. Until next time, I’m Keybo Shabaz and this is “Bad Luck” Chuck…..
(Suddenly, a Chainsaw wielding Maniac cuts through the set and points at Chuck. He revs his chainsaw and points directly at his T-shirt witch is Chucks face but crossed out.)
Keybo: Holy mother of God. Just get the hell out of here already!
(Chuck takes off running as the chain saw wielding maniac and the wallet stealing girl scout chase after him.)
Keybo: (sigh) Well, screw the signoff.. you know it by now. Goodnight everybody.
"Hey, join me again next week on my new night, THURSDAY, when my guest in the studio will be the that soldier supreme, Will Washington! Questions? Comments? Wanna invite him to your local VFW? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@newchampionshipwrestling.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(You know the deal.)