Post by Keybo Shabaz on Dec 18, 2009 3:44:33 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: The Riot drawing is over and done with, people know their positions, now it's time to try and fight for them. Can you move up to #30? Or will you fall back to #1? Who knows...
The Pulse!
That's who. Most of the time anyway. But more on that later.. Let's get to the show!
Keybo: Who likes Trauma? You like Trauma. Right?
Trauma
Shane Hunt vs Matt Goliath vs Mr. Red vs Tempestad
Keybo: Who knew the guy who didn't have a weird gimmick would be the one to do this? Not me. Sadly. I know, I'll get over it.
Tempestad 0-1
Paul James vs Blackheart
Keybo: And that smidge proved to be enough. Yay. Blackheart is leaving us. Boo.
Paul James 1-1
Jimmy Zane vs Mr. Mysterio vs Jake Keeton
Keybo: Zane found a way to nail this one down. But Keeton doesn't seem to happy about it. I expect something to go down between them. Or not? Who knows.
Jake Keeton 1-2
Keybo: What's better than football? That's right. Collision.
Collision
James Bradley vs Jack Hammond
Keybo: Hamster, flying high again.
Jack Hammond 2-2
Dirty Deal vs Andrew Gun and Chris Cobain
Keybo: Despite losing the match, I'm going to give Gun and Cobain credit for making me care less about Dirty Deal. Ok, so they really didn't. But you get the idea.
Dirty Deal 3-2
Will Washington vs Andrew Jacobsen
Submission Match
Keybo: These two showed sides to themselves that few had ever seen. Technical mastery that was.
Will Washington 4-2
Angel vs Sexy Jason
Keybo: Looks like the Sexy System only improves you on the outside. Keep trying, buddy. It'll get better eventually.
Angel 5-2
Rob Diamond vs Kristoff Liam Bates vs Joe Everyman vs Gabriel Karras vs Freakke
RIOT preview
Keybo: Bates back with a vengeance, showing that he hasn't lost a step since he left us months ago. Now if he could just do the same on the grand stage.
Kristoff Liam Bates 6-2
Falcon and Xavier Cross
Friendship Dinner
Keybo: Yea... well what did you think was gonna happen?
Millenium Nightmare vs Projekt Iconz
Keybo: And Lance and Brad take this one home. In no small thanks to Dirty Deal. But don't try to tell them that.
Projekt Iconz 7-2
Week: 7-2
2009: 210-122
Keybo: One more week in action has passed, and now we'll get to what I mentioned at the top of the show. Pinfall for position!
Trauma
Jimmy Zane vs Alex Jones
Keybo: Hurray.. AJ is back.. I almost care. I used to care, really I did. He's now found a seat next to Everyman on my sh!t list.
Jimmy Zane
Motor City Mafia vs Dirty Deal
Keybo: D town in da house! Ok, thats the last time I'll say that.
MCM
Xavier Cross vs Gib
Keybo: From the jailhouse to the Gibhouse. Ok, I admit that was bad. Let's see how Cross handles this one.
Gib
Pinfall for Position One
Sexy Jason(13) VS. Kristoff Liam Bates(3) VS. Paul James(7) VS. Harold Campbell(18)
*The man who scores the pinfall gets the pinned man's entry spot in the Riot Match.
Keybo: Everyones gonna be after Campbell, and nobody is going to want to touch Bates. This will make for someone with great intellegence to capitalize.
Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo: And we're halfway to Transgression after that, but the action doesn't stop there.
Collision
Atreyu (c) vs Mr. Mysterio
nCw Honor Title Match
Keybo:[/color] Atreyu successfully ended the reign of Xtreme, but Mysterio looks to bring it right back. But I don't think he'll give it up that easily.
Atreyu
Falcon vs Jake Keeton
Keybo:[/color] A lot of people might write off Jake Keeton as new, but I can tell he's seen the sights a time or two, and if there's someone who can run with the bird, it's him.
Jake Keeton
Projekt Iconz vs Enemies of the State
Keybo:[/color] Lance and Brad team up again to take on Cobain and Gun. I doubt this is what you had in mind when you thought to help out the younger guys right?
Projekt Iconz
Rob Diamond (c) vs Andrew Jacobsen
Ladder to Success for the nCw X-Division Title
Keybo:[/color] Diamond might be a smurf, but he might be on to something as well. Time will tell if Jacobsen is ready for this or not.
Andrew Jacobsen
Pinfall for Position Two
Freakke(6) VS. Angel(20) VS. Nelly Angel(8) VS. Jack Hammond(19) VS. Mr. Red(15)
*The man who scores the pinfall gets the pinned man's entry spot in the Riot Match.
Keybo:[/color] Many chances to advance here. Most would be after Angel, but Hammond would make an appealing second choice. Then again, can't go wrong with Mr. Red at 15. This one is much harder to call.
Nelly Angel
Joe Everyman (c) vs The Ace
nCw National Title Match
Keybo:[/color] Everyman steps fresh out of a fight with Lance Ryan, and right into The Ace. I might not be the #1 Ace fan. But we all know who I'm picking here, right?
The Ace
Keybo: With that out of the way, I'd like to get to my guest this week... the pride of Minnesota, Andrew Jacobsen!
("Ready to Roll" by Jet Black Stare plays as Andrew Jacobsen makes his way out to fan adoration. He shakes hands with the host, and takes a seat on the couch.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Mr. Jacobsen.
Andrew: Thanks for having me on. By the way, Keybo, bump your record by one. Cross lost last week.
Keybo: As fun as that would be, I can't. What I can do, is get to your fanmail.
Andrew: Woo, fanmail!
Keybo: Atreyu... from Boston... why do wrestlers keep doing this? Anyway, he asks..Andrew it seems you have a problem, and with me personally. Something about me not earning my shot not earning the Honor Title. Didn't I beat you on my road to gold? Huh? Did you think about that? Seriously, what is your problem Andy? That I'm a champion or that I beat you?
Andrew: Let me clarify something for you, pal. You didn’t beat me. You beat Mike Honcho. Victory against an over-the-hill guy like him really doesn’t mean jack. My problem with you is, as I’ve said, that you’re Mike Kane’s lapdog. You didn’t earn the Xtreme Title, you didn’t earn the Honor Title, you didn’t earn anything. You were the right stooge, at the right time. That’s my problem.
Keybo: I could say something about the pot and the kettle, but.. I won't.. R slash N.. Angel.. clever guys... from San Fran asks...Dude Andrew, you seem like a nice-enough guy, wanna hang out sometime? How much snow do you got up north right now? Does ice cream still taste as good when it's like twenty below out?
Andrew: Sounds good. The snow’s been kinda sparse after the first big downfall, but it’s still a pain in the ass. For your last point, the trick to eating ice cream in the winter is to stay inside, where it’s heated.
Keybo: Always a good place to be. C Johnson from Milwaukee Wis.. er.. Texas..asks..Hey Andrew....I like you. Your a cool guy, but I gotta know. What are some of your long term plans in nCw? What do you want to achieve? Who would you like to face in the ring? Would you go out to dinner with me Friday night? That sort of thing.........
Andrew: My long term plans? Obviously, I’d love to eventually become World Champion. Who would I like to face? Number one is definitely Lance Ryan. He’s the Icon, for cryin’ out loud! And, uh…I’m flattered, but I think I’m gonna need some visual ID before I make a judgement call there.
Keybo: There was a photo attached. But this is a family show. Moving on.. Dark Prophet from whatever asylum he's in asks..So...Which of the psychotic Minnesota teams do you think sucks worse? The Twins, the Wild, or the Wolves? P.S. Let me out and I promise not to kill Favre.
Andrew: Come on, who let him write this?! I’m not going to disparage any teams from Minnesota, sorry. And stay away from Favrey if you know what’s good for you.
Keybo: Favrey? (Andrew just shrugs) Right. Mr. Happy.. from.. behind you..
(Andrew jumps)
Andrew: BAJESUS!
Keybo: He's not really there.
(Andrew looks around, embarrassed.)
Andrew: …sorry.
Keybo: We'll take that as a no, Happy. Will Washington.. from Cambridge, Mass asks...You're on the show and you get all these softball questions. When I was on I had to answer the calls of Republican psychopaths. Oh well..... Good match last week against me. We took each other to the limit, and fortunately I came out on top. My question is, what do you think you learned from our match, and what do you think it did for your profile here in nCw? Oh, and Keybo....I still owe you a beating.
Andrew: Will, glad you called. I’d have to say that what I learned first and foremost is to not be greedy with the Germans. Other than that, never take a match for granted. Momentum can reverse in an instant. My profile definitely took a bump upward with our match. I’m honored to have had the chance to wrestle someone like you. Once I'm done with Sunday...I want a rematch, you hear?
Keybo: I'm glad you care. Personally, he wants a piece of me, he knows where my office is. Rob Brown from Lex Vegas, Virginia asks..Uh...yeah, um...How is your mother? cuz i gave her to rocket ship salute if you get what i'm saying...oh wait, yeah you don't cuz you're from minnesota ya tool. I ****ed your mom bro....gave her the armageddon if ya get what i'm saaaaayiiinnnn.
Andrew: … (facepalm and sigh) Okay, which one of you guys is it? Diamond? Jason? Gun? Cross? Seriously, that’s got to be the worst attempt at an insult I’ve seen since…well, since Rob’s last promo.
Keybo: I really need to fire my question screener. They're getting a huge laugh out of this, I'm sure. Anyway, lastly.. Mark Evil, from Xtremeland asks.. Hey Andrew, Wanna beat up Atreyu for stealing our Xtreme Title?
Andrew: I’ll bring the hockey sticks if you bring the barbed wire.
Keybo: That's all the time we have this week. I'd like to thank Andrew Jacobsen for stopping by.
Andrew: My pleasure.
Keybo: For the Pulse! I'm Keybo Shabaz, he's Andrew Jacobsen, and remember..
Steel Chairs are fun...
Barbed Wire is a good time...
And always tip your waitress..
Good night.
("Everybody wants you" plays again as the transmission fades. With a very pissed off Washington staring at Keybo.)
"Hey, join me again next week on my new night, THURSDAY, when my guest in the studio will be the D Town duo, Johnny Rotten and Jayson Matthews! Questions? Comments? Wanna buy General Motors? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@newchampionshipwrestling.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"