Post by Falcon on Dec 21, 2009 4:55:42 GMT -6
Have you ever been awestruck with indecision? I mean so literally unable to come to a real decision that you just can't do anything?
(Phone dial tone. Followed by dialing.)
No matter how hard you thought about it, nothing ever seemed to come to you? Not even something you might consider as a plan B?
(Phone ringing.)
That's been me recently. Which is rather unsettling when you consider the fact that anyone who knows me would tell you one thing I have in spades is conviction.
Hello?
Thanksgiving was the last time I heard my sister's voice. We always promised each other we'd call more, but we never do.
Hey, Sam. I have a question for you.
Rarely do I ask my sister for advice. Then again it was only about a year ago when she would actually take my phone calls.
Ok. Shoot.
But, she's been married for a while. And I just had to know...
Why don't you and Darren have children?
There was an intake of breath and a pause. I immediately regretted saying it, thinking I had touched off a nerve.
I'm.. not sure, Kyle. We're not preventing it anymore, it just.. I don't know.. hasn't happened yet.
I perceived that as the best answer I could hope for. If she was willing to let fate deal the cards. That had to be a viable solution. She always was the one with all the brains.
Do you want to?
Big second question. I don't know what I could find in her response. I was just hoping she could say something that would clear my mind.
One day, yea. But there's still plenty of time. For you too... you know.
That should have done it. Should have just lifted the veil of confliction and let me go on with my life. But somehow, it only cleared part of the way down one of the paths.
I know. Don't worry about me.
I never need to say that. She never really does.
She's a good woman Kyle. If she loves you, she'll be with you no matter what you decide.
That's.. what I'm afraid of. It killed me every day inside to have my family resent me for the choice I made. I don't want that to happen to her too....
----------------------------------------------------------
"Pride, is the nature of the wrestling beast. You walk around any locker room from any promotion and ask people who they think the greatest wrestler to ever lace up boots and more often than not you will hear...
Me.
And that's fine, really it is. People who don't have confidence in themselves either don't try as hard as they can. (See Jack Hammond.) Coincidentally, people who have too much faith in themselves don't try hard enough because they never feel they have to. (See Jake Conway.) Those two types of people win awards, because they're gifted. But they never become more than that. The occasional "And the award goes to" recepient. And you, Xavier Cross, you take that cake. Hell, you took that cake and then licked it all over so nobody else could have any. Proverbially speaking. Normally, I'd just let it all go. I'd just do what I do, defeat that guy in the ring and show him that he is not God's gift to the world that he thinks he is. But for some odd reason, Xavier Cross just irks the **** out of me. I try to see the good in everyone, because everyone has potential for greatness. Even someone like Sexy Jason who consistantly gets close to the top can reach it eventually, one day, with the right attitude. But you Cross..
You're doomed to obscurity.
And that's what I hate the most about you. I know what you can do, and it saddens me to think that all that clay can never be molded into anything great, because you remain a consistant overflux of self. I went out of my way to speak well of you that week you teamed with Dirty Deal. And how did you respond? Lame third grade insults and gay innuendos. I let it all pass that week, because basically.. I chalked it up to you not having anything else to say. But you kept picking at it like a scab. You never let it heal. You couldn't let it go. Because now you figured you had my intention. You know who does that kind of crap?
School children.
Which is basically what you are, Cross. You deal with events you don't like by getting angry. You deal with a superior force with childish insults. I tinge on the inside every single time I'm forced to refer to you as a wrestler, because the term wrestler implies two things. Maturity and Professionalism, and you embody neither of those. You proved it on our little sojourn to that restaurant. Side note, I didn't pick it.. so don't blame me for it. Also, Ruby Tuesdays is like the white trash version of the Olive Garden. I don't care how much cash you slutted yourself out for. End side note. You could have easily proved to be a bigger man and just sat there in silence. But you didn't. Because you're still stuck with the mentality of a school child. "Someone called me a name, so I'm gonna say one back". So, as long as you continue to act like that Cross, I'm going to keep this title from you. Not because you didn't earn it, though it's debatable that you did. Not because I want to keep it forever. But simply because..
I will not allow a child to disgrace this title.
Not Now.
Not Ever.
And certainly not you.
Make all the fits you like. Throw all the gay and emo jokes at me you want. They won't help you. Get mad. Be out for my blood. That won't help you. At this point.. I'm not sure what will help you. Or even...
If there's any hope left for you."
------------------------------------------------
This is the fourth time this week I've stood outside this door. Room 1117 at the Lenox Hotel in Boston. A gorgeous building that sits pretty in the skyline. But, this is as far as I've seen. I don't know what the room looks like... because I can't bring myself to knock. I think.. today.. I was about to.. when she opened the door.
Woah.. Kyle.. you scared me..
I'm amazed I wasn't detained for questioning as a possible stalker by this point.
I'm.. sorry..
She looked radiant. Like she was headed out somewhere nice.
Have you come to a decision?
I should lie. I should just say, Yes, I did. Sweep her into my arms and tell her I want us to have a baby. I could fake it, right? No. She'd see right through me.
No... I.. just.. wanted to see you.
She smiled. Her hand found the side of my face.
I know. They tell me you've come a couple times. I don't know how I missed you.
She eases me away from the door, and steps out of her room.
This is always as far as I get. I've never even touched the door.
She leans in to give me a kiss. Holding it for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably just a few seconds.
That means you're seriously thinking. It's a good thing.
The pain didn't make it seem so good.
...Yea.. I guess.
But I didn't admit it.
I'm going down to the restaurant for dinner.
Then she walked away. No departing words. No "I love you" Just stepped into the elevator, and was gone.
Someone give me a clear answer....
What the hell do I do....?
(Phone dial tone. Followed by dialing.)
No matter how hard you thought about it, nothing ever seemed to come to you? Not even something you might consider as a plan B?
(Phone ringing.)
That's been me recently. Which is rather unsettling when you consider the fact that anyone who knows me would tell you one thing I have in spades is conviction.
Hello?
Thanksgiving was the last time I heard my sister's voice. We always promised each other we'd call more, but we never do.
Hey, Sam. I have a question for you.
Rarely do I ask my sister for advice. Then again it was only about a year ago when she would actually take my phone calls.
Ok. Shoot.
But, she's been married for a while. And I just had to know...
Why don't you and Darren have children?
There was an intake of breath and a pause. I immediately regretted saying it, thinking I had touched off a nerve.
I'm.. not sure, Kyle. We're not preventing it anymore, it just.. I don't know.. hasn't happened yet.
I perceived that as the best answer I could hope for. If she was willing to let fate deal the cards. That had to be a viable solution. She always was the one with all the brains.
Do you want to?
Big second question. I don't know what I could find in her response. I was just hoping she could say something that would clear my mind.
One day, yea. But there's still plenty of time. For you too... you know.
That should have done it. Should have just lifted the veil of confliction and let me go on with my life. But somehow, it only cleared part of the way down one of the paths.
I know. Don't worry about me.
I never need to say that. She never really does.
She's a good woman Kyle. If she loves you, she'll be with you no matter what you decide.
That's.. what I'm afraid of. It killed me every day inside to have my family resent me for the choice I made. I don't want that to happen to her too....
Still, I'm sweating my mistakes
To work it out this time
Hell no, I won't today
Two tries don't make it happen
Three tries don't make it go
Overflood
Make it run
Iced edge to make it flow
To work it out this time
Hell no, I won't today
Two tries don't make it happen
Three tries don't make it go
Overflood
Make it run
Iced edge to make it flow
----------------------------------------------------------
"Pride, is the nature of the wrestling beast. You walk around any locker room from any promotion and ask people who they think the greatest wrestler to ever lace up boots and more often than not you will hear...
Me.
And that's fine, really it is. People who don't have confidence in themselves either don't try as hard as they can. (See Jack Hammond.) Coincidentally, people who have too much faith in themselves don't try hard enough because they never feel they have to. (See Jake Conway.) Those two types of people win awards, because they're gifted. But they never become more than that. The occasional "And the award goes to" recepient. And you, Xavier Cross, you take that cake. Hell, you took that cake and then licked it all over so nobody else could have any. Proverbially speaking. Normally, I'd just let it all go. I'd just do what I do, defeat that guy in the ring and show him that he is not God's gift to the world that he thinks he is. But for some odd reason, Xavier Cross just irks the **** out of me. I try to see the good in everyone, because everyone has potential for greatness. Even someone like Sexy Jason who consistantly gets close to the top can reach it eventually, one day, with the right attitude. But you Cross..
You're doomed to obscurity.
And that's what I hate the most about you. I know what you can do, and it saddens me to think that all that clay can never be molded into anything great, because you remain a consistant overflux of self. I went out of my way to speak well of you that week you teamed with Dirty Deal. And how did you respond? Lame third grade insults and gay innuendos. I let it all pass that week, because basically.. I chalked it up to you not having anything else to say. But you kept picking at it like a scab. You never let it heal. You couldn't let it go. Because now you figured you had my intention. You know who does that kind of crap?
School children.
Which is basically what you are, Cross. You deal with events you don't like by getting angry. You deal with a superior force with childish insults. I tinge on the inside every single time I'm forced to refer to you as a wrestler, because the term wrestler implies two things. Maturity and Professionalism, and you embody neither of those. You proved it on our little sojourn to that restaurant. Side note, I didn't pick it.. so don't blame me for it. Also, Ruby Tuesdays is like the white trash version of the Olive Garden. I don't care how much cash you slutted yourself out for. End side note. You could have easily proved to be a bigger man and just sat there in silence. But you didn't. Because you're still stuck with the mentality of a school child. "Someone called me a name, so I'm gonna say one back". So, as long as you continue to act like that Cross, I'm going to keep this title from you. Not because you didn't earn it, though it's debatable that you did. Not because I want to keep it forever. But simply because..
I will not allow a child to disgrace this title.
Not Now.
Not Ever.
And certainly not you.
Make all the fits you like. Throw all the gay and emo jokes at me you want. They won't help you. Get mad. Be out for my blood. That won't help you. At this point.. I'm not sure what will help you. Or even...
If there's any hope left for you."
Now, I'm chasing what I've learned
You won't be glad this time
Getting back everything I've burned
Two tries will make it happen
Three tries will make it go
Overload
The rose
I choose to make it blow.
You won't be glad this time
Getting back everything I've burned
Two tries will make it happen
Three tries will make it go
Overload
The rose
I choose to make it blow.
------------------------------------------------
This is the fourth time this week I've stood outside this door. Room 1117 at the Lenox Hotel in Boston. A gorgeous building that sits pretty in the skyline. But, this is as far as I've seen. I don't know what the room looks like... because I can't bring myself to knock. I think.. today.. I was about to.. when she opened the door.
Woah.. Kyle.. you scared me..
I'm amazed I wasn't detained for questioning as a possible stalker by this point.
I'm.. sorry..
She looked radiant. Like she was headed out somewhere nice.
Have you come to a decision?
I should lie. I should just say, Yes, I did. Sweep her into my arms and tell her I want us to have a baby. I could fake it, right? No. She'd see right through me.
No... I.. just.. wanted to see you.
She smiled. Her hand found the side of my face.
I know. They tell me you've come a couple times. I don't know how I missed you.
She eases me away from the door, and steps out of her room.
This is always as far as I get. I've never even touched the door.
She leans in to give me a kiss. Holding it for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably just a few seconds.
That means you're seriously thinking. It's a good thing.
The pain didn't make it seem so good.
...Yea.. I guess.
But I didn't admit it.
I'm going down to the restaurant for dinner.
Then she walked away. No departing words. No "I love you" Just stepped into the elevator, and was gone.
Someone give me a clear answer....
What the hell do I do....?
See
Trusting the ways of my vulnerable heart
A million times before I get things right
Stay
So Fragile it hurts when I just fall apart
Right...
Now!
Still, I won't give what you deserve
Just all the dreams will falter
Beating back what made you turn
Four times will make it happen
Five times will make it go
Overruled
From the truth
That brings me everlasting pain.
Trusting the ways of my vulnerable heart
A million times before I get things right
Stay
So Fragile it hurts when I just fall apart
Right...
Now!
Still, I won't give what you deserve
Just all the dreams will falter
Beating back what made you turn
Four times will make it happen
Five times will make it go
Overruled
From the truth
That brings me everlasting pain.