Post by Falcon on Dec 24, 2009 3:31:10 GMT -6
You know how everytime you're in a funk, someone you know always seems to have great news to share? Like you're all melancholic and someone hits like the damn lottery?
(Phone ringing.)
I hate when that happens.
Hello?
I mean.. hate.
Hey, Kyle? It's Jack.
Good old Jack. I could explain who it is. But if you know, then you know. If you don't, I doubt you care. Just know he's one of my closest friends.
Hey buddy. What's up?
I could tell he was excited. Jack had a horrible handicap of being unable to hide his emotions. We used to pick on him all the time for it.
...Lex is pregnant.
I almost dropped the phone. Could my luck really be this bad? And why did I have this overwhelming desire to tell him to shove his head up his own ass?
That's great!
Yeah, I'm better at hiding my emotions than he is.
Dude, I am flying off the walls right now.
A part of me wanted to punch him. But I let it go. He doesn't know what's going on with me, or he wouldn't have said that. At least I hope he wouldn't.
I can hear that. Do you know what it's going to be?
I wanted to just hang up on him. That's how pissed off I was at "fate". But something wouldn't let me put my arm down. Maybe it would help me come to a decision, I wasn't sure.
It's going to be a little boy.
I was starting to hate myself. Here I was listening to one of my best friends tell me his great news, and all I wanted to do was tell him to f**k off.
Nice. Have you decided on a name?
I doubt he's that far.
We have it narrowed down to four. Jack... Kyle.. Hunter.. and Chris.
Himself, Me, Angel, and Diamond.. respectively.
That's good. How far along?
Hate him.
Uhhh.. Five months.
How.. did he not know before now?
And you're just finding out now?
Good a question as any.
I was in Mongolia of all places, Filming. Cell reception is horrible there.
Ehhh.. nice excuse?
Well, alright. I gotta train for my title defense this week. So, call me later.. or stop by if you're in town.
Not really. I just wanted him off the phone.
Alright. Good luck with that. Later.
*Click*
As if I needed any more reasons to just say F it all and go back to being the way I was. Back when I cared about only entertaining people. Back when the only female solace was in the occasional fling with some occasional chick that meant nothing. Back when my heart outside the ring never mattered. Back when the only thing that mattered was what happened between the bells. Wait...
Why can't I?
I am the World Champion. I've done what they said I'd never do. Everything the Forgotten stands for was what I was already doing. I can be me again... Now it's all so clear.
I know where the truth lies.
-----------------------------------------------
"Yes, sometimes it's possible for people to amaze even me.
You, Mr. Cross, are possibly the most intricate enigma of a man I've ever encountered. Sometimes you say things that have such clarity and purpose. And then you'll follow that with a sentence of unparalleled obliviousness. You go from praising me endlessly out of one side of your mouth, and then without missing a beat imply that what you just said was faulty. You spend the first ten minutes telling me how you look at me in a new light, and then almost like lightning your opinion of me shifts so drastically to the negative. You continously promote yourself as the best, which I find no fault with, it's always good to have confidence, but then you pull a one eighty and say that you're going to consider me as your equal or better for this match. You know what that leads to, Xavier?
Confusion.
This is how even the greatest wrestlers lose matches. When you shift your way of thinking for just one purpose, you begin to lose sight of the way you live. This is how I am in your head already. This is how you go to sleep at night dreaming of me. And not in that way either. You and I are similar in many ways. But we're also completely different breeds. The same way a Doberman and a German Shepard are great guard dogs, and yet have many different traits. See, people like myself.. like Angel.. like Adam.. like even Ace at times.. are capable of pushing a person to change their game. It would be like having a football team, and then on Monday handing them a brand new playbook, and telling them to learn it in seven days. You enter unfamiliar territory, and you become lost in the spectacle. You have to figure things out on the fly. And at the pace I can move, it's dangerous. Sure, you can probably run with me.. but not if you're looking anywhere but straight ahead. You have to watch where you're going when you run at that speed...
Or you get left behind.
Left behind, wondering just what it was that you did wrong. You can watch all the tapes of me you like. You can memorize my bio verbatim. I could even go back and ask Ed if he'd send you the tapes from PWW, before I hurt my back. But what those tapes will never show you is how many gears I actually possess. How far I can go when pressed. To be honest there are matches I've been in where I don't remember the last parts of them, because I was in overdrive. You've seen it, the look in Hammonds eyes just before I managed to finally put him down for ten. I have that gear, and I don't doubt that you do. But the quesion remains..
Will you find it on Sunday?
That I'm not so sure of. What bothers me is that you're so close. You understand history, and how to change it. But yet.. when I watch you talk, I don't see the mental state that you need to change it. Greatness can only be achieved when one understands that failure is always possible. You can call yourself the greatest all of next year, but the more you tell yourself that I can't beat you. That you will win. The less you'll find yourself able to fly at the speed your capable. There's a lot of men I've defeated who aren't considered top calibur talent, but I went into that match knowing that all it takes is three seconds. If you spend all that time convincing yourself it's inevitable, all that time picturing yourself standing atop the turnbuckle with the title in hand, the less likely you'll be to contemplate being pinned..
1... 2... 3...
I've said a hundred times that knowing the past only prepares you for one eventuality, it doesn't help you set the future. But you like history.. so I'm going to tell you a piece you won't find in the nCw logs.
August 2004
I wrestled Angel, and ended up falling through a popcorn vendor cart. After that, I pinned him. Then I got up, walked backstage, sat down for a half hour as they pulled glass out of my skin. Then walked back out to the ring and successfully defended my World Cruiserweight title against Ethanol.
May 1999
I faced Xanetia, Angels half sister, in a cage match. With a cast on my fractured forearm. I jumped off a cage that night. Stupid? Definately. Did I get beaten because of it? I'm not sure, but it certainly didn't help.
I didn't tell you those things to intimidate you. It doesn't matter one way or the other if you believe me or not. You wanted to know whatever you can about me, so I figured I'd help you out. But it won't matter. When you're watching me like a hawk, waiting for me to do something you saw on a tape, that's when the innovation comes in, blindsiding you from the side you never thought to check. You're so close to real knowledge, Cross. So close. Don't let it all go because you can't set your ego aside for five seconds. Don't tell me again how you won't let it overcome you, because it already has. How can you be God's greatest gift to wrestling...
When you aren't even the greatest gift to yourself?
I'm not like everyone else Cross. I don't want to be unable to beat me. I gave Awesome his passion for wrestling back and it cost me the National title. I did everything I could to give Hammond and Jason the confidence they would need to cost me this one. Despise my purpose all you want..
It really does more help for you than you think.
Thats why no matter how assinine I act, people buy my t-shirts. Because they know why I'm here. That's why even when people question if they person I'm facing has the credibility to face me, they watch.. just to see what happens. You said you look at me and see yourself. But you can't replicate me Cross. Not really. You only see yourself because everyone around you is just a mirror for your own ego. You can't be the greatest if you refuse to accept imperfection as a facet of life. As the "Son of God", you should already know that.
Right."
--------------------------------------------------
I stand outside the hotel room, for what I hope to be the final time. This time.. my hand knocks on the door. It opens.
Kyle?
I take a deep breath. Come on boy, you can say it.
I've come to a decision.....
She smiles.
Perfect....
(Phone ringing.)
I hate when that happens.
Hello?
I mean.. hate.
Hey, Kyle? It's Jack.
Good old Jack. I could explain who it is. But if you know, then you know. If you don't, I doubt you care. Just know he's one of my closest friends.
Hey buddy. What's up?
I could tell he was excited. Jack had a horrible handicap of being unable to hide his emotions. We used to pick on him all the time for it.
...Lex is pregnant.
I almost dropped the phone. Could my luck really be this bad? And why did I have this overwhelming desire to tell him to shove his head up his own ass?
That's great!
Yeah, I'm better at hiding my emotions than he is.
Dude, I am flying off the walls right now.
A part of me wanted to punch him. But I let it go. He doesn't know what's going on with me, or he wouldn't have said that. At least I hope he wouldn't.
I can hear that. Do you know what it's going to be?
I wanted to just hang up on him. That's how pissed off I was at "fate". But something wouldn't let me put my arm down. Maybe it would help me come to a decision, I wasn't sure.
It's going to be a little boy.
I was starting to hate myself. Here I was listening to one of my best friends tell me his great news, and all I wanted to do was tell him to f**k off.
Nice. Have you decided on a name?
I doubt he's that far.
We have it narrowed down to four. Jack... Kyle.. Hunter.. and Chris.
Himself, Me, Angel, and Diamond.. respectively.
That's good. How far along?
Hate him.
Uhhh.. Five months.
How.. did he not know before now?
And you're just finding out now?
Good a question as any.
I was in Mongolia of all places, Filming. Cell reception is horrible there.
Ehhh.. nice excuse?
Well, alright. I gotta train for my title defense this week. So, call me later.. or stop by if you're in town.
Not really. I just wanted him off the phone.
Alright. Good luck with that. Later.
*Click*
As if I needed any more reasons to just say F it all and go back to being the way I was. Back when I cared about only entertaining people. Back when the only female solace was in the occasional fling with some occasional chick that meant nothing. Back when my heart outside the ring never mattered. Back when the only thing that mattered was what happened between the bells. Wait...
Why can't I?
I am the World Champion. I've done what they said I'd never do. Everything the Forgotten stands for was what I was already doing. I can be me again... Now it's all so clear.
I know where the truth lies.
Here in the dark
Escaping this withered soul
My thoughts are growing cold
Here by my side
Is everything I've ever owned
I've got to go alone
And I don't mind at all
I've got to let you know
Escaping this withered soul
My thoughts are growing cold
Here by my side
Is everything I've ever owned
I've got to go alone
And I don't mind at all
I've got to let you know
-----------------------------------------------
"Yes, sometimes it's possible for people to amaze even me.
You, Mr. Cross, are possibly the most intricate enigma of a man I've ever encountered. Sometimes you say things that have such clarity and purpose. And then you'll follow that with a sentence of unparalleled obliviousness. You go from praising me endlessly out of one side of your mouth, and then without missing a beat imply that what you just said was faulty. You spend the first ten minutes telling me how you look at me in a new light, and then almost like lightning your opinion of me shifts so drastically to the negative. You continously promote yourself as the best, which I find no fault with, it's always good to have confidence, but then you pull a one eighty and say that you're going to consider me as your equal or better for this match. You know what that leads to, Xavier?
Confusion.
This is how even the greatest wrestlers lose matches. When you shift your way of thinking for just one purpose, you begin to lose sight of the way you live. This is how I am in your head already. This is how you go to sleep at night dreaming of me. And not in that way either. You and I are similar in many ways. But we're also completely different breeds. The same way a Doberman and a German Shepard are great guard dogs, and yet have many different traits. See, people like myself.. like Angel.. like Adam.. like even Ace at times.. are capable of pushing a person to change their game. It would be like having a football team, and then on Monday handing them a brand new playbook, and telling them to learn it in seven days. You enter unfamiliar territory, and you become lost in the spectacle. You have to figure things out on the fly. And at the pace I can move, it's dangerous. Sure, you can probably run with me.. but not if you're looking anywhere but straight ahead. You have to watch where you're going when you run at that speed...
Or you get left behind.
Left behind, wondering just what it was that you did wrong. You can watch all the tapes of me you like. You can memorize my bio verbatim. I could even go back and ask Ed if he'd send you the tapes from PWW, before I hurt my back. But what those tapes will never show you is how many gears I actually possess. How far I can go when pressed. To be honest there are matches I've been in where I don't remember the last parts of them, because I was in overdrive. You've seen it, the look in Hammonds eyes just before I managed to finally put him down for ten. I have that gear, and I don't doubt that you do. But the quesion remains..
Will you find it on Sunday?
That I'm not so sure of. What bothers me is that you're so close. You understand history, and how to change it. But yet.. when I watch you talk, I don't see the mental state that you need to change it. Greatness can only be achieved when one understands that failure is always possible. You can call yourself the greatest all of next year, but the more you tell yourself that I can't beat you. That you will win. The less you'll find yourself able to fly at the speed your capable. There's a lot of men I've defeated who aren't considered top calibur talent, but I went into that match knowing that all it takes is three seconds. If you spend all that time convincing yourself it's inevitable, all that time picturing yourself standing atop the turnbuckle with the title in hand, the less likely you'll be to contemplate being pinned..
1... 2... 3...
I've said a hundred times that knowing the past only prepares you for one eventuality, it doesn't help you set the future. But you like history.. so I'm going to tell you a piece you won't find in the nCw logs.
August 2004
I wrestled Angel, and ended up falling through a popcorn vendor cart. After that, I pinned him. Then I got up, walked backstage, sat down for a half hour as they pulled glass out of my skin. Then walked back out to the ring and successfully defended my World Cruiserweight title against Ethanol.
May 1999
I faced Xanetia, Angels half sister, in a cage match. With a cast on my fractured forearm. I jumped off a cage that night. Stupid? Definately. Did I get beaten because of it? I'm not sure, but it certainly didn't help.
I didn't tell you those things to intimidate you. It doesn't matter one way or the other if you believe me or not. You wanted to know whatever you can about me, so I figured I'd help you out. But it won't matter. When you're watching me like a hawk, waiting for me to do something you saw on a tape, that's when the innovation comes in, blindsiding you from the side you never thought to check. You're so close to real knowledge, Cross. So close. Don't let it all go because you can't set your ego aside for five seconds. Don't tell me again how you won't let it overcome you, because it already has. How can you be God's greatest gift to wrestling...
When you aren't even the greatest gift to yourself?
I'm not like everyone else Cross. I don't want to be unable to beat me. I gave Awesome his passion for wrestling back and it cost me the National title. I did everything I could to give Hammond and Jason the confidence they would need to cost me this one. Despise my purpose all you want..
It really does more help for you than you think.
Thats why no matter how assinine I act, people buy my t-shirts. Because they know why I'm here. That's why even when people question if they person I'm facing has the credibility to face me, they watch.. just to see what happens. You said you look at me and see yourself. But you can't replicate me Cross. Not really. You only see yourself because everyone around you is just a mirror for your own ego. You can't be the greatest if you refuse to accept imperfection as a facet of life. As the "Son of God", you should already know that.
Right."
It's the Black Clouds over your head
It's the Monsters under your bed
We can't escape the bad things
You know what that means?
It's the Monsters under your bed
We can't escape the bad things
You know what that means?
--------------------------------------------------
I stand outside the hotel room, for what I hope to be the final time. This time.. my hand knocks on the door. It opens.
Kyle?
I take a deep breath. Come on boy, you can say it.
I've come to a decision.....
She smiles.
Perfect....
Here in the light
I'll drown in what I'll never be
I'll to watch the wall
Here I decide
I'll swallow the worst part of me
I'll have to break the fall
And I don't mind at all
I have to let you know
It's the Black Clouds over your head
It's the Monsters under your bed
We can't escape the bad things
You know what that means?
I'll drown in what I'll never be
I'll to watch the wall
Here I decide
I'll swallow the worst part of me
I'll have to break the fall
And I don't mind at all
I have to let you know
It's the Black Clouds over your head
It's the Monsters under your bed
We can't escape the bad things
You know what that means?