Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Dec 24, 2009 4:13:55 GMT -6
*We open on Curtis Kanyon sitting in a rocking chair in the Dirty Deal mobile. He has a book open and is wearing bifocals glasses. He grabs his glasses and pulls them low, looking at the camera.*
Curtis: Ah, you're here. Eh hem.
*Curtis looks down.*
Curtis: "Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except the guy under Amber's blouse. The rubbers were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that whore Kelly would not be there; Now pregers and depressing no one wants to touch that anyway, her child will definitely be the Anti-Christ someday. Adam and Gib will be the two dads, raising the child in a Whoville how sad. The Whoville won't last because Dirty Deal will destroy, and make sure the children have not a toy. Their hearts will not grow three times as big, because they don't give a rats ass about even a pig. Kidnap the Homeless Knights, lock 'em up real tight, throw away the key and then turn off all the lights!
*Ron walks in and starts clapping.*
Ron: That was beautiful.
Curtis: Now with the reading done, we can do the lighting of the tree.
Ron: Russell...
*The camera pans over to Russell. He has a plug and puts it in a power strip that's connected to a power strip that's connected to a power strip, all of them full of plugs already and sparks flying. He timidly pushes the plug in and jumps back. A spark goes off and then the tree lights up!*
Russell: Wow...it worked.
Ron: Of course it worked!
*The tree catches on fire.*
Amber: Uh...guys.
Ron: This happens when you use old trees. Curtis's got it.
*Curtis throws a bucket of water at the tree. More sparks fly, but the fire's out.*
Curtis: You see. Ingenuity. That's how Dirty Deal rolls. We'll be using the ingenuity when we win our belts back. They belong to us. We're the best tag team around. We're not singles wrestlers looking for a quick fix cause we suck in our divisions like Adam and Gib. Sure they threw us for a loop. Sure they have what is ours. Sure they've been distracting us and we've been losing here and there. But when we focus on them, we get **** done. We tricked Adam and beat the hell out of Gib. So now if we're big idiots for being us, what does that make Adam for falling for our prank? Right?
Ron: That was fun. We almost had Kelly. But we got to beat up Gib instead.
Curtis: I don't think he's walked right since we put him through the roof of that limo. He's weak. Adam's dumb. They don't stand a chance.
Ron: Not at all.
Curtis: Charlie Brown has better luck than these two guys will on Sunday. And we're going to give them some good grief. Followed by massive amounts of bad grief. When we're through with them, they won't ever be able to play any reindeer games ever again. While we will stand on top of the snow mountain and we will never be taken off of it again! Because we are abominable!
Ron: Dude!
Curtis: Sorry, the holidays get me riled up.
Ron: Just drink some hot cocoa.
Curtis: ...
Ron: That I spiked.
Curtis: DEAL!
*Curtis rushes off to the kitchen.*
Ron: Always good to light up someones face.
Russell: So I can have some too?
Ron: No, your face is always dark.
*The scene fades out.*
Curtis: Ah, you're here. Eh hem.
*Curtis looks down.*
Curtis: "Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except the guy under Amber's blouse. The rubbers were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that whore Kelly would not be there; Now pregers and depressing no one wants to touch that anyway, her child will definitely be the Anti-Christ someday. Adam and Gib will be the two dads, raising the child in a Whoville how sad. The Whoville won't last because Dirty Deal will destroy, and make sure the children have not a toy. Their hearts will not grow three times as big, because they don't give a rats ass about even a pig. Kidnap the Homeless Knights, lock 'em up real tight, throw away the key and then turn off all the lights!
*Ron walks in and starts clapping.*
Ron: That was beautiful.
Curtis: Now with the reading done, we can do the lighting of the tree.
Ron: Russell...
*The camera pans over to Russell. He has a plug and puts it in a power strip that's connected to a power strip that's connected to a power strip, all of them full of plugs already and sparks flying. He timidly pushes the plug in and jumps back. A spark goes off and then the tree lights up!*
Russell: Wow...it worked.
Ron: Of course it worked!
*The tree catches on fire.*
Amber: Uh...guys.
Ron: This happens when you use old trees. Curtis's got it.
*Curtis throws a bucket of water at the tree. More sparks fly, but the fire's out.*
Curtis: You see. Ingenuity. That's how Dirty Deal rolls. We'll be using the ingenuity when we win our belts back. They belong to us. We're the best tag team around. We're not singles wrestlers looking for a quick fix cause we suck in our divisions like Adam and Gib. Sure they threw us for a loop. Sure they have what is ours. Sure they've been distracting us and we've been losing here and there. But when we focus on them, we get **** done. We tricked Adam and beat the hell out of Gib. So now if we're big idiots for being us, what does that make Adam for falling for our prank? Right?
Ron: That was fun. We almost had Kelly. But we got to beat up Gib instead.
Curtis: I don't think he's walked right since we put him through the roof of that limo. He's weak. Adam's dumb. They don't stand a chance.
Ron: Not at all.
Curtis: Charlie Brown has better luck than these two guys will on Sunday. And we're going to give them some good grief. Followed by massive amounts of bad grief. When we're through with them, they won't ever be able to play any reindeer games ever again. While we will stand on top of the snow mountain and we will never be taken off of it again! Because we are abominable!
Ron: Dude!
Curtis: Sorry, the holidays get me riled up.
Ron: Just drink some hot cocoa.
Curtis: ...
Ron: That I spiked.
Curtis: DEAL!
*Curtis rushes off to the kitchen.*
Ron: Always good to light up someones face.
Russell: So I can have some too?
Ron: No, your face is always dark.
*The scene fades out.*