Post by Keybo Shabaz on Dec 25, 2009 0:46:55 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: We are now mere days away from Transgression, and the first ever Riot Match. But, plenty of action went down last week that didn't involve it, so let me remind you of what you saw...
The Pulse!
You're not missing these shows are you? Good boys.
Keybo: Like an early christmas present. Trauma was torn into like a lego set, complete with a big blue bow.
Trauma
Jimmy Zane vs Alex Jones
Keybo: All that self imposed hype before this match was booked, and he didn't have a damn thing to say after it. Way to go AJ.... loser...
Jimmy Zane 1-0
Motor City Mafia vs Dirty Deal
Keybo: Note to self: Losing to NAZI is not the write off it used to be.
MCM 2-0
Xavier Cross vs Gib
Keybo: Was Cross looking too far ahead? Or did he just underestimate a legend? Neither. Gib still has it.
Gib 3-0
Pinfall for Position One
Sexy Jason(13) VS. Kristoff Liam Bates(3) VS. Paul James(7) VS. Harold Campbell(18)
*The man who scores the pinfall gets the pinned man's entry spot in the Riot Match.
Keybo: Let's see.. Sexy Jason pinned Paul James.. so Jason should have dropped ten spots. But I guess since that would penalize Jason for winning, we'll just skip that.. shall we?
Kristoff Liam Bates 3-1
Keybo: And we're halfway to Transgression. But wait, there's another box.. with a giant red bow!
Collision
Atreyu (c) vs Mr. Mysterio
nCw Honor Title Match
Keybo: And Honor trumps Xtreme once more. But with Chris Cobain after him now, Atreyu might find himself the target of a bigger threat.
Atreyu 4-1
Falcon vs Jake Keeton
Keybo: It's not everyday you find a man willing to step into the ring with the World Champion, and despite losing, look fantastic doing it. Stay Jake, nCw is more awesome with you in the puzzle.
Jake Keeton 4-2
Projekt Iconz vs Enemies of the State
Keybo: After all the bluster from Cobain about who's a horrible wrestler, he ran into two good ones. And they showed him exactly what will happen if he keeps running his mouth.
Projekt Iconz 5-2
Rob Diamond (c) vs Andrew Jacobsen
Ladder to Success for the nCw X-Division Title
Keybo: With the biggest upset of the year award undoubtedly going to Andrew Jacobsen, he looks to have quite a career ahead of him. Time for Jacobsen to grow and amaze the fans, and time for Rob to move onto better things. Even if he is still a smurf.
Andrew Jacobsen 6-2
Pinfall for Position Two
Freakke(6) VS. Angel(20) VS. Nelly Angel(8) VS. Jack Hammond(19) VS. Mr. Red(15)
*The man who scores the pinfall gets the pinned man's entry spot in the Riot Match.
Keybo: After a back and forth battle of will, Nelly Angel managed to get an upperhand on Jack Hammond, swapping Riot numbers with him. But both men could win from either number, so it's still up for grabs.
Nelly Angel 7-2
Joe Everyman (c) vs The Ace
nCw National Title Match
Keybo: Lance continuously says he's over losing to Everyman, but now he interferes and causes this match to be thrown out? What the hell is the deal here?
The Ace 7-2
Week: 7-2
2009: 217-124
Keybo: And now.. it is... TIME.. FOR... TRANSGRESSION... bit overdone huh? Yeah. I thought so. Moving on. No Wired the time, but don't expect a short show either.
Transgression
Enemies of the State vs The Motor City Mafia
#1 Contenders match for the Tag Team Titles.
Keybo:[/color] The motor city boys get a chance to earn their stripes fairly early this time around. Let's see if they can capitalize. But it's difficult to tell how well a team Goliath and Gun can be. So, here's hoping.
Motor City Mafia
Millenium Knitemare (c) vs Dirty Deal
nCw World Tag Team Title match
Keybo:[/color] Dirty Deal poked the bear with a stick until they finally relented and gave them a rematch. I expect them to fail just like they did the first time.
Millenium Knitemare.
Falcon (c) vs Xavier Cross
nCw World Title match
Keybo: Xavier Cross fought through a warzone to get here. But he needs to buckle down and fight twice as hard now. Falcon has stood resiliant against all challengers to date, and he doesn't look about to give up now. This is going to be a battle like none other.
Xavier Cross
The First ever nCw RIOT Match
Keybo: Thirty men enter, one man will win and move on to face either Falcon or Cross at Metamorphosis. Since this is naturally an unpredictable match, instead of just one winner I will pick the five most likely candidates in my eyes. In no particular order.
Lance Ryan
The Ace
Angel
Angel, Nelly
Steve Awesome
Keybo: Now all the fun and games are over, it's time to get down to the party time hotness. Please welcome at this time my guests this week.. Johnny Rotten... Jayson Matthews.. the Motor... City.... Mafia!
(“Heaven” by Uncle Kracker plays over the P.A system as nCw’s new old team comes walking from the back. Jayson has on a santa hat while Johnny Rotten comes walking out with a beer in his hand. A member of stage crew tries to tell him he cant bring the beer onto the set but Johnny just laughs and shoulders through him. Jayson takes a seat on the couch and screams at the audience.)
Jayson: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(He head bangs really fast shaking the little bell at the end of the hat.)
Johnny: Oh fer the love a….
(Johnny reaches out and snatches the hat off Jayson’s head and tells him to sit down.)
Keybo: Not very festive I see…..
(Johnny looks up at Keybo and burps in his face.)
Keybo: Always with a deep thought is Johnny Rotten. Christ.. what did you eat...
(He waves the smell away from his face.)
Keybo: Anyway….let’s get to the questions. Mr. Happy.. from.. Wherever this phone is.. asks.. Hey guys, did you know Hexx has a framed picture of the night he got you fired from nCw? He says that he and I are going to come after you and get you re fired. Thought I'd just let you know. Anyways, I love you guys, your so funny and I can't wait to get in the ring with and give you a big Mr. Happy Hug. *click*
Jayson: Well that doesn’t sound too bad. I mean hugs are nice right?
(Johnny leans over and whispers something into his ear. It takes awhile and Jayson’s eyes grow wider and wider as Johnny explains.)
Jayson: Oh ho ho HO HO! You think you can lure me with promises of friendship Mr. Happy….IF that is your real name……Well I don’t think so! You know what…I bet your not even a real clown! If you want to meet us in the ring…then by all means Happy…you tell us wear to sign! Right Johnny?
Johnny: That’s right kid. Let me tell you something you sick demented bulbous sack of free love and face paint! You just inform your voodoo practisen retard that the McM is lookin for his sorry sack of crap ass. Hell we may even come find yo ass on Transgression! After we beat them beady eye’d bastards in Enemas of the state!
Keybo: It’s “enemies”.
Johnny: What did I say?
Keybo: Enema. Which, while funny, is rather less than stellar language for my show's rating.
Jayson: He he…enema.
Keybo: ..Simple minds.. (sigh) Next question. Anthony Borezzio from.. Somewhere Cold...Dark...and Cramped.. what the hell is with people.. anyway, he asks.. So I hear you guys are finally back in nCw, I thought your careers would have died like uh...nevermind. So...you planning on being fired again sometime soon? Or is this week's win going to actually show you might want to TRY this time. Anyway, I will go back to decomposing I mean...chillin in this coffin.
Jayson: Who is this from again?
Keybo: Paper says Anthony Borezzio. I think he used to wrestle here. Thought he was the Angel of Death.
Jayson: Right…I feel like I’m supposed to get the reference but honestly I’m drawing a blank here. I mean….I’ve watched the DVD called “History of nCw that actually mattered” and that name has never came up.
Johnny: Whoever he was, he was prolly garbage.
Jayson: And he probably raped dead people.
(Keybo and Johnny both stare at Jayson.)
Jayson: What? I said probably.
Keybo: I'd like to disagree with you.. but you're probably right. That's all the time we have for this week. I'm Keybo Shabaz, they are the Motor City Mafia and remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress...
Good night!
("Everybody Wants You" plays again as the transmission ends.)
"Hey, join me again next week on my new night, THURSDAY, when my guest in the studio will be the level eight awesomenancer, Nelly Angel! Questions? Comments? Do you NMN? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@newchampionshipwrestling.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"