Post by The Cat Lady on Jan 4, 2010 16:02:24 GMT -6
The scene opens as an nCw news van is seen driving slow down a suburban street. All the homes are nice, grass green and trimmed. The sun bounces off the white painted houses like a bouncy ball in a gymnasium and you can see each family enjoying there time with each other through the plane glass windows that every home seems to have.
Well every home, except one.
The last house before the dead end didn’t have a giant window facing the street. The color has dulled over the course of its time, paint was chipping off and the wooden front porch seemed like it would fall off if somebody stepped on it. Trees from the woods behind and on the side of it were overgrown and its branches and vines were grabbing at the home in some strange attempt to pull it into the forest. Sitting in various places were different species of cats. Siamese, Persian, black, white, spotted , big, small, they all soaked up the sun, casually licking themselves.
Unfortunately, this was where the nCw news van had to stop.
The back rolls up and two camera men jump out and start unloading there equipment. One of them looks up at the eyesore and seems a bit weary of going near the place.
Camera guy #1: Are you sure this is the place?
The other cameraman shrugs his shoulders as he screws a lens onto his camera.
Camera guy #2: I don’t know man. I just point the camera and shoot. Why don’t you ask Dunn?”
It was at that point that Jason Dunn hops out of the big van. He’s eying the address on the paper in his hand silently praying that he somehow got it wrong.
Jason Dunn: This is ridiculous. Why do I always get stuck with the crappy interviews man? I bet they do nasty things to sheep in this house.”
The second camera guy walks up behind Dunn and hums the banjo tune from Deliverance.
Jason Dunn: “That’s not funny! Chad Lights gets to interview big names like Steve Awesome or Nelly Angel. Hell, even Carly has nabbed some interviews with guys like The Ace or Jimmy Zane but I get stuck talking to…..”
He glances down at his info sheet and reads off the name.
Jason Dunn: The Cat Lady?”
He face palms.
Jason Dunn: I hate my life. Lets just do this and get it over with.”
The interview team walks up the broken cement walkway to the front door. They walk slowly, watching there step as more and more cats seem to appear where there wasn’t one before. They start hissing and making deep meow sounds like there about to attack. The three men stay close, and try not to make any sudden movements so they don’t upset these ferocious felines anymore then they seem to be.
Camera guy#1: I don’t like this. These cats are completely freaking me out!”
Camera guy #2: Shhh…they might hear you!
Jason Dunn: They can’t understand you, idiots!
Camera Guy #2: I’ve never seen so many cats in one place before.
Camera guy #1: I have. But they weren’t really cats. They were people dressed as cats and then we’d-”
Camera Guy One looks up and realizes both Dunn and the other camera man are staring at him awkwardly.
Camera guy #1: I’ve said too much.
Camera guy one clams up as they three of them walk up the steps to the porch. Each one creaking like it hasn’t supported weight in years. Dunn goes to knock on the door but somehow it swings open without so much as a nudge and a bigger male cat with a blue collar is seen running away from it. The three walk through the doors and instantly cover there noses. Dunn nearly loses his lunch.
Jason Dunn: *Hack!* *Gag!* Ugh! It smells like the inside of a cats ass in here.
The camera men set down there cameras and start hunching over holding there stomachs.
Camera man #2: Oh God I can’t take this.
Camera man #1: It’s stinging my nostrils!
Suddenly a female voice is herd in the distance.
“Here kitty kitty…..”
The three men freeze in there tracks as from out of the shadows comes The Cat Lady. Big for an average women, she seemed powerful. Like a mix between Rosie O’Donnel and Boo Radley. In her arms was a purring cat with a blue collar.
The Cat Lady: Oh my sweet, beloved Tom Tom!
She scratches his ear as he purrs in delight.
The Cat Lady: You should have told me our guests were male…I would have gussied myself up a bit.”
She gives the boys a smile forcing Dunn to throw up in his mouth a little. He reluctantly swallows it and steps forward.
Jason Dunn: I uh…..um….welcome to nCw.
The Cat Lady smiles, her yellow teeth glistened in the sunlight.
The Cat Lady: Thank you young man. I’m glad to be apart of it. It’s nice to have a reason to leave my home again. I haven’t left since the incident.
At the mention of an incident, Dunn’s journalistic mind urges him to ask a question but his overwhelming fear begs him to steer clear.
Jason Dunn: So um….this week you make your debut against Maria Williams.
Tom Tom crawls up and stands on her shoulder as she walks further out of the shadows. At the mention of her first opponent a jagged smile seems to grow on her face. She pats her fingers together as she thinks about it.
The Cat Lady: ooh….Maria Williams huh?
She looks over at Tom Tom.
The Cat Lady: Do you know this Maria Williams?
She listens intently to Tom Tom who doesn’t seem to be saying anything back.
The Cat Lady: Silky brown hair….beautiful green eyes…..she sounds like an amazing women….”
She listens as Tom Tom seemingly explains more to her. She nods her head.
The Cat Lady: …I must rip her FACE OFF!”
Dunn and his crew jump five feet back as Cat Lady goes from creepy to down right terrifying.
Jason Dunn: What? But you just said….why?”
She points to Tom Tom.
The Cat Lady: It’s what my kittens want and so they shall receive.
Tom Tom rubs his head against hers as he purrs. Dunn tries to grasp the facts as they come.
Jason Dunn: Your cat wants you to hurt little Maria?
She nods. Her eyes glossed over, her smile twisted.
The Cat Lady: They have an insatiable lust for blood. I’m going to bat her around, toss her around and then as she tries to limp away I’m going to pounce on her again until she just gives up. Just like a real life game of cat and mouse. HE HE HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
She falls into a fit of laughter as more and more cats flood into the room, crawling on her and swarming around her. Dunn looks back at the camera men.
Jason Dunn: Bail?
They nod.
Camera Guy #1: Bail!
They all take off screaming out the door, into the van and take off down the street.
Fade to the squealing of tires.
Well every home, except one.
The last house before the dead end didn’t have a giant window facing the street. The color has dulled over the course of its time, paint was chipping off and the wooden front porch seemed like it would fall off if somebody stepped on it. Trees from the woods behind and on the side of it were overgrown and its branches and vines were grabbing at the home in some strange attempt to pull it into the forest. Sitting in various places were different species of cats. Siamese, Persian, black, white, spotted , big, small, they all soaked up the sun, casually licking themselves.
Unfortunately, this was where the nCw news van had to stop.
The back rolls up and two camera men jump out and start unloading there equipment. One of them looks up at the eyesore and seems a bit weary of going near the place.
Camera guy #1: Are you sure this is the place?
The other cameraman shrugs his shoulders as he screws a lens onto his camera.
Camera guy #2: I don’t know man. I just point the camera and shoot. Why don’t you ask Dunn?”
It was at that point that Jason Dunn hops out of the big van. He’s eying the address on the paper in his hand silently praying that he somehow got it wrong.
Jason Dunn: This is ridiculous. Why do I always get stuck with the crappy interviews man? I bet they do nasty things to sheep in this house.”
The second camera guy walks up behind Dunn and hums the banjo tune from Deliverance.
Jason Dunn: “That’s not funny! Chad Lights gets to interview big names like Steve Awesome or Nelly Angel. Hell, even Carly has nabbed some interviews with guys like The Ace or Jimmy Zane but I get stuck talking to…..”
He glances down at his info sheet and reads off the name.
Jason Dunn: The Cat Lady?”
He face palms.
Jason Dunn: I hate my life. Lets just do this and get it over with.”
The interview team walks up the broken cement walkway to the front door. They walk slowly, watching there step as more and more cats seem to appear where there wasn’t one before. They start hissing and making deep meow sounds like there about to attack. The three men stay close, and try not to make any sudden movements so they don’t upset these ferocious felines anymore then they seem to be.
Camera guy#1: I don’t like this. These cats are completely freaking me out!”
Camera guy #2: Shhh…they might hear you!
Jason Dunn: They can’t understand you, idiots!
Camera Guy #2: I’ve never seen so many cats in one place before.
Camera guy #1: I have. But they weren’t really cats. They were people dressed as cats and then we’d-”
Camera Guy One looks up and realizes both Dunn and the other camera man are staring at him awkwardly.
Camera guy #1: I’ve said too much.
Camera guy one clams up as they three of them walk up the steps to the porch. Each one creaking like it hasn’t supported weight in years. Dunn goes to knock on the door but somehow it swings open without so much as a nudge and a bigger male cat with a blue collar is seen running away from it. The three walk through the doors and instantly cover there noses. Dunn nearly loses his lunch.
Jason Dunn: *Hack!* *Gag!* Ugh! It smells like the inside of a cats ass in here.
The camera men set down there cameras and start hunching over holding there stomachs.
Camera man #2: Oh God I can’t take this.
Camera man #1: It’s stinging my nostrils!
Suddenly a female voice is herd in the distance.
“Here kitty kitty…..”
The three men freeze in there tracks as from out of the shadows comes The Cat Lady. Big for an average women, she seemed powerful. Like a mix between Rosie O’Donnel and Boo Radley. In her arms was a purring cat with a blue collar.
The Cat Lady: Oh my sweet, beloved Tom Tom!
She scratches his ear as he purrs in delight.
The Cat Lady: You should have told me our guests were male…I would have gussied myself up a bit.”
She gives the boys a smile forcing Dunn to throw up in his mouth a little. He reluctantly swallows it and steps forward.
Jason Dunn: I uh…..um….welcome to nCw.
The Cat Lady smiles, her yellow teeth glistened in the sunlight.
The Cat Lady: Thank you young man. I’m glad to be apart of it. It’s nice to have a reason to leave my home again. I haven’t left since the incident.
At the mention of an incident, Dunn’s journalistic mind urges him to ask a question but his overwhelming fear begs him to steer clear.
Jason Dunn: So um….this week you make your debut against Maria Williams.
Tom Tom crawls up and stands on her shoulder as she walks further out of the shadows. At the mention of her first opponent a jagged smile seems to grow on her face. She pats her fingers together as she thinks about it.
The Cat Lady: ooh….Maria Williams huh?
She looks over at Tom Tom.
The Cat Lady: Do you know this Maria Williams?
She listens intently to Tom Tom who doesn’t seem to be saying anything back.
The Cat Lady: Silky brown hair….beautiful green eyes…..she sounds like an amazing women….”
She listens as Tom Tom seemingly explains more to her. She nods her head.
The Cat Lady: …I must rip her FACE OFF!”
Dunn and his crew jump five feet back as Cat Lady goes from creepy to down right terrifying.
Jason Dunn: What? But you just said….why?”
She points to Tom Tom.
The Cat Lady: It’s what my kittens want and so they shall receive.
Tom Tom rubs his head against hers as he purrs. Dunn tries to grasp the facts as they come.
Jason Dunn: Your cat wants you to hurt little Maria?
She nods. Her eyes glossed over, her smile twisted.
The Cat Lady: They have an insatiable lust for blood. I’m going to bat her around, toss her around and then as she tries to limp away I’m going to pounce on her again until she just gives up. Just like a real life game of cat and mouse. HE HE HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
She falls into a fit of laughter as more and more cats flood into the room, crawling on her and swarming around her. Dunn looks back at the camera men.
Jason Dunn: Bail?
They nod.
Camera Guy #1: Bail!
They all take off screaming out the door, into the van and take off down the street.
Fade to the squealing of tires.