Post by Jabari Woodhead on Jan 15, 2010 0:41:20 GMT -6
*Enter Fergus Callaghan and Monty Scott fresh off Fergus' loss to Will Washington.*
Fergus: Well ****. Zero and two since I made my return. I guess I can't dwell on the past. Who's up for this week?
Monty: Mr. Mysterio, Kole Kaos and Xavier Williams.
Fergus: So we have the Mark Evil light, the prisoner and black X?
Monty: Yeah that seems to be about the size of it. I kinda feel bad for you.
Fergus: Why is that?
Monty: Well I mean look at it. Mr. Mysterio is obviously insane. He is gonna kill you and then there is Kole Kaos. I mean he did time in jail. I'm sure he is used to having to defend himself and protect himself. He will probably stick a shiv in you.
Fergus: Oh **** your right. I forgot about the shank. Thanks for reminding me. Looks like I should wear some body armor under my wrestling attire. What about Xavier Williams?
Monty: Xavier who?
Fergus: The 4th guy in the match.
Monty: Oh no he is harmless. In fact he is less then harmless. He is about as harmless as a basket of kittens. Oh god. Kole Kaos actually went to the insane asylum. That's in fact worse then prison.
Fergus: How so?
Monty: Well actually its just like prison on without all the gay sex.
Fergus: Yeah but I'm guessing is more likely to get shanked in jail because he looks like one of those tree hugging hippies. I mean he comes from Seattle and has the long hair.
Monty: Yeah or maybe he loves man meat.
Fergus: That is true too. I don't get why these guys keep bringing up my drink. To be honest guys I haven't had a drink in a few weeks and what was with the comment about my cousin. It's like those guys who call someone else gay just to cover up there own gayness. He in turn said I picked up a hooker that looked like my cousin which is actually something he did. Kole I just got two things to tell you. One is that I don't have a cousin at all. In fact the only sibling I have is my half sister Melanie who is a lesbian and trust me Kole, I'm sure that she is twice the man that you are and the other thing is just a reminder for you. It goes like this.
*Fergus clears his throat*
Fergus: Going down on your cousin is like drinking non-alcoholic beer. Sure it tastes the same but its just wrong. Just remember that Kole. I guess I should talk about Mr. Mysterio.
Monty: Yeah I guess so. God I can't believe how many of these people there are. I mean we have Mr. Mysterio, Mark Evil, Dark Horse, Dark Prophet, Fate, Mark Evil Jr.....well hell any one of the Evil's, Atreyu, Sephiroth Du Lac. I mean look I just named like a thousand people that are all the same.
Fergus: Maybe they will just all do us a favor and have a cult like mass suicide. Then we can be rid of them all forever and we can trim the useless fat from the roster.
Monty: Yeah and we forgot one from the list.
Fergus: Who is that?
Monty: Sally Martinez.
Fergus: She looks familiar. Didn't she beat Joe Everyman in VXW once?
Monty: Yeah but thats only because she sucked the ref off before that match.
Fergus: Sounds like most of the chicks in this place.
Monty: Yeah or like Kole Kaos.
Fergus: No....he doesn't suck of the refs, he just goes down on his cousin. I guess all I can say about Mr. Mysterio is that he is Mark Evil light meaning he only sucks half as bad as Mark Evil but he still sucks. Alright who is next?
Monty: Xavier Williams
Fergus: This one is simple and I figured out why he came back to wrestling.
Monty: Why is that?
Fergus: Well his welfare checks ran out and he had to come back to wrestling to make money to pay child support for his 29 kids.
Monty: Hahaha thats funny. Hey man we should go but before we do I got a couple of pictures to show you. One is Mr. Mysterio from his new years party and Kole Kaos from his time in the asylum. He is Mr. Mysterio.
*Monty shows him the picture*
*Fergus shutters*
Fergus: That's just wrong.
*Monty then shows Fergus the picture of Kaos*
Fergus: Wow I guess I thought that it would be in color. I can't believe his hair is so short and his muscles are so small.
Monty: Yeah I know. Lets get out of here.
Fergus: Ok.
*Fergus and Monty leaves as the scene fades to black*
Fergus: Well ****. Zero and two since I made my return. I guess I can't dwell on the past. Who's up for this week?
Monty: Mr. Mysterio, Kole Kaos and Xavier Williams.
Fergus: So we have the Mark Evil light, the prisoner and black X?
Monty: Yeah that seems to be about the size of it. I kinda feel bad for you.
Fergus: Why is that?
Monty: Well I mean look at it. Mr. Mysterio is obviously insane. He is gonna kill you and then there is Kole Kaos. I mean he did time in jail. I'm sure he is used to having to defend himself and protect himself. He will probably stick a shiv in you.
Fergus: Oh **** your right. I forgot about the shank. Thanks for reminding me. Looks like I should wear some body armor under my wrestling attire. What about Xavier Williams?
Monty: Xavier who?
Fergus: The 4th guy in the match.
Monty: Oh no he is harmless. In fact he is less then harmless. He is about as harmless as a basket of kittens. Oh god. Kole Kaos actually went to the insane asylum. That's in fact worse then prison.
Fergus: How so?
Monty: Well actually its just like prison on without all the gay sex.
Fergus: Yeah but I'm guessing is more likely to get shanked in jail because he looks like one of those tree hugging hippies. I mean he comes from Seattle and has the long hair.
Monty: Yeah or maybe he loves man meat.
Fergus: That is true too. I don't get why these guys keep bringing up my drink. To be honest guys I haven't had a drink in a few weeks and what was with the comment about my cousin. It's like those guys who call someone else gay just to cover up there own gayness. He in turn said I picked up a hooker that looked like my cousin which is actually something he did. Kole I just got two things to tell you. One is that I don't have a cousin at all. In fact the only sibling I have is my half sister Melanie who is a lesbian and trust me Kole, I'm sure that she is twice the man that you are and the other thing is just a reminder for you. It goes like this.
*Fergus clears his throat*
Fergus: Going down on your cousin is like drinking non-alcoholic beer. Sure it tastes the same but its just wrong. Just remember that Kole. I guess I should talk about Mr. Mysterio.
Monty: Yeah I guess so. God I can't believe how many of these people there are. I mean we have Mr. Mysterio, Mark Evil, Dark Horse, Dark Prophet, Fate, Mark Evil Jr.....well hell any one of the Evil's, Atreyu, Sephiroth Du Lac. I mean look I just named like a thousand people that are all the same.
Fergus: Maybe they will just all do us a favor and have a cult like mass suicide. Then we can be rid of them all forever and we can trim the useless fat from the roster.
Monty: Yeah and we forgot one from the list.
Fergus: Who is that?
Monty: Sally Martinez.
Fergus: She looks familiar. Didn't she beat Joe Everyman in VXW once?
Monty: Yeah but thats only because she sucked the ref off before that match.
Fergus: Sounds like most of the chicks in this place.
Monty: Yeah or like Kole Kaos.
Fergus: No....he doesn't suck of the refs, he just goes down on his cousin. I guess all I can say about Mr. Mysterio is that he is Mark Evil light meaning he only sucks half as bad as Mark Evil but he still sucks. Alright who is next?
Monty: Xavier Williams
Fergus: This one is simple and I figured out why he came back to wrestling.
Monty: Why is that?
Fergus: Well his welfare checks ran out and he had to come back to wrestling to make money to pay child support for his 29 kids.
Monty: Hahaha thats funny. Hey man we should go but before we do I got a couple of pictures to show you. One is Mr. Mysterio from his new years party and Kole Kaos from his time in the asylum. He is Mr. Mysterio.
*Monty shows him the picture*
*Fergus shutters*
Fergus: That's just wrong.
*Monty then shows Fergus the picture of Kaos*
Fergus: Wow I guess I thought that it would be in color. I can't believe his hair is so short and his muscles are so small.
Monty: Yeah I know. Lets get out of here.
Fergus: Ok.
*Fergus and Monty leaves as the scene fades to black*