Post by Roxi Johnson on Jan 15, 2010 21:32:40 GMT -6
Authors Note : This rp was supposed to be posted two days ago, along with another to follow, but due to computer issues, both with the old one, and the one I just bought, I couldn't post. Anyway, on the with the show..
{We open at the local KFC. Roxi, our heroine, enters the store.}
Oh crap, there’s a line. I should go. Yeah, I should go to Wendy’s.
{Roxi glares outside at the Wendy's across the street...}
No. Let’s gut this out. That hankering for popcorn chicken was the real deal. You can’t ignore your body when it sends signals like that.
{Roxi folds her arms, and walks into the line.}
I suppose I should talk about my match, and the one from last week as well, So, Last week I lost, but I didn't get pinned, so, I guess it's not a total loss.
{Roxi observes the old man at the front of the line ordering}
Old man, please know what you want before you order. Holy hell. There is a menu the size of a couch right there. It has pictures of the food on it. This is a menu designed to be usable by gerbils. How the hell can you be standing in line for 10 minutes and not figure out what you want?
{A deep sigh escapes from Roxi as she continues to watch the old man }
How on Earth can you not know how combos work? That is not a new invention. It’s in the Bible. “Land flowing with milk, and honey for only a dollar more.” Remember that? Fuuuuuuuuuck.
{An eye roll}
Anyway, Sally Martinez captialized on an opportunity, nothing more, nothing less. She wasn't the best wrestler out there, nor the best fighter, she was, the most cunning, however. Emma English did nothing but put herself in position to lose, and so she did. I would very much like to get either one in the ring one on one, and really test them, but nCw management has seen fit to put together another clusterf*ck of a match with myself, Cassie Ryan, Maria Williams, Ashley Starr, and Ayla St. James.[/]
{A nudge forward goes Roxi as the line moves.}
Oh good. It’s the woman with three kids, and an order for 28 more. It would be easiest to just give her five garbage bags full of chicken, but no, let’s read through your two-page list of requests. Everyone will enjoy that.
Roxi - {softly} Kill me.
{One of the children heads toward the soda dispenser}
Please do not let your child use the soda machine. He is four-years-old. He cannot reach it. And now there’s soda everywhere. What a fascinating intersection of gravity, fluid dynamics and stupidity.
{A small chuckle, and then gasps of shock from Roxi}
Please yell at your child. Let them know they did something wrong! Would you like me to do it? Put me in, coach. I’m ready.
{The line starts to move again}
I see that seemingly everyone has spoken their piece, most of them worried about one thing or another, none really focused on the match. Cassie seems worried about her loss last week, and impressing Lance. I almost feel sorry for her. Why spend your time worrying about what other people think? Who cares, really?
{More movement in the line}
Every single KFC I’ve been to is like this. I don’t get it. The process of frying the crap out of something and exchanging it for money is thousands of years old. There’s hieroglyphics of it. You’d think the process would be down. How is KFC so bad at this?
Roxi - {Softly} Unreal.
Also, Cassie seems preoccupied with calling the other women in this match names, and mocking them. But I guess that's part of the equation. I can't believe she mocked Ricky. And threatened to gouge my eyes out. Wow, what a rude woman. Eye gouging? That's not even legal!
{The line grows behind Roxi as well.}
Why is there only one cashier? It’s six o’clock. Do they not know that’s when people want terrible chicken dishes? Do they not have some sort of chicken genius with a chicken spreadsheet running chicken regression analyses to map out peak staffing needs? Well how about dinner time? HOW ABOUT HAVING MORE STAFF AROUND AT DINNER TIME?
Roxi - {Softly} I should have gone to Wendy's
Anyway, So, by Cassie's logic, she's better than me, because she is a cheater. She laid that out pretty clearly. And because she also lost, just a little better. How do you lose better than someone? Whatever. I'll just have to show her in the ring that winning can be classed and being better. But, for her sake, as they say in football, "on any given Sunday."
{Roxi peers out at the Wendy's again, and then back to the line of people}
Seriously. They have three cash registers here. I have never seen those other two used. Are they fake? Part of some sort of elaborate tax dodge? Maybe KFC’s a front for something? A better restaurant?
{She ponders this for a moment, then continues}
So Let's move on, Ashley Starr. Hmmm... Wait, is she debuting? I don't remeber her at all. Well, I guess that's got to be it, I don't remeber anything about her, or her even doing anything since she signed. Has she even been on TV? But, her build was she was a technical wrestler, and a high-flyer. Just like me. So, from what I can gather, she's a ripoff of me. It seems to be the rage these days anyway. I am pretty sure I could take her in some sort of grappling match, and I'm definately sure I could out high-fly her. So, she can line up like the rest of the copy cats, and I'll take her out with the rest.
{Roxi again peers into the Wendy's parking lot as the line moves again.}
Roxi - Halfway there. Gotta gut this out.
Old Chinese woman, I will beat you with a shovel if you do not hurry up and order. I am not kidding. I can get a shovel. You think I am kidding? I’m not, as previously discussed. Let’s set this up.
{Roxi finally turns to the person behind her}
Roxi - Can you believe this?
Guy - What?
Roxi - This line.
Guy - It's always like this.
Roxi - Seriously?
Guy - Yup.
Roxi - Ugh.
Guy - Hey, aren't you that wrestler Ricky Johnson's girlfriend?
Roxi - No.
Guy - You look like her.
Roxi - I'm his wife, we're married.
Guy - For real?
Roxi - No. For fake.
Guy - What?
Roxi - Nevermind.
{She turns around, back to the cashier}
Oh I get it now. She’s a trainee employee. OK, I feel a little bad for this girl. That right there is a terrible, terrible way to earn $7 an hour. Some people have crap jobs, but they work outside, or make tips or get to go home not smelling of chicken. Not her.
{A small smile creeps across her face.}
Speaking of copycats, Ayla St. James pretty much said that. She wants to be me. Well, get in line. There are just so many who want to be me. It's insane! Maybe I shouldn't have wrestled her before.
{Roxi is only one person away from the front.}
You know, I adore fans, but this is actually bordering on stalking, and possibly identity theft. Maybe this is like Single White Female. That would be bad. I should probably put a stop to the childish nonsense that Ayla wants to play. I'm happy I inspire people, but why would they want to take me out? And why a Soap Opera star? That seems all kinds of random.
Roxi - {softly} Come on, come on.
Holy ****, what would happen to Bruce Banner if he ever walked into a KFC? He wouldn’t last 20 seconds in this place. He would Hulk right the hell out the first time someone asked what their options were for sides. Pants all ripped, leaping on to the counter screaming “SIDES!? YOU DON’T SEE THE HUGE SIGN THAT SAYS ‘SIDES’? WITH THE LIST OF SIDES UNDERNEATH IT? HULK SEES IT. WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? RAAAAAARRRRRGH!
{Roxi is finally at the front of the line.}
Now I see why people take their time in the line, you're kinda like a king or queen up here. Nobody is ahead, you're the best person here. And that's exactly where I want to be, and winning this match against you four is a great way to get there. Although I think for my next trip, I'll take the express route.
Cashier - Can I take your order?
Roxi - What's the special today?
{We open at the local KFC. Roxi, our heroine, enters the store.}
Oh crap, there’s a line. I should go. Yeah, I should go to Wendy’s.
{Roxi glares outside at the Wendy's across the street...}
No. Let’s gut this out. That hankering for popcorn chicken was the real deal. You can’t ignore your body when it sends signals like that.
{Roxi folds her arms, and walks into the line.}
I suppose I should talk about my match, and the one from last week as well, So, Last week I lost, but I didn't get pinned, so, I guess it's not a total loss.
{Roxi observes the old man at the front of the line ordering}
Old man, please know what you want before you order. Holy hell. There is a menu the size of a couch right there. It has pictures of the food on it. This is a menu designed to be usable by gerbils. How the hell can you be standing in line for 10 minutes and not figure out what you want?
{A deep sigh escapes from Roxi as she continues to watch the old man }
How on Earth can you not know how combos work? That is not a new invention. It’s in the Bible. “Land flowing with milk, and honey for only a dollar more.” Remember that? Fuuuuuuuuuck.
{An eye roll}
Anyway, Sally Martinez captialized on an opportunity, nothing more, nothing less. She wasn't the best wrestler out there, nor the best fighter, she was, the most cunning, however. Emma English did nothing but put herself in position to lose, and so she did. I would very much like to get either one in the ring one on one, and really test them, but nCw management has seen fit to put together another clusterf*ck of a match with myself, Cassie Ryan, Maria Williams, Ashley Starr, and Ayla St. James.[/]
{A nudge forward goes Roxi as the line moves.}
Oh good. It’s the woman with three kids, and an order for 28 more. It would be easiest to just give her five garbage bags full of chicken, but no, let’s read through your two-page list of requests. Everyone will enjoy that.
Roxi - {softly} Kill me.
{One of the children heads toward the soda dispenser}
Please do not let your child use the soda machine. He is four-years-old. He cannot reach it. And now there’s soda everywhere. What a fascinating intersection of gravity, fluid dynamics and stupidity.
{A small chuckle, and then gasps of shock from Roxi}
Please yell at your child. Let them know they did something wrong! Would you like me to do it? Put me in, coach. I’m ready.
{The line starts to move again}
I see that seemingly everyone has spoken their piece, most of them worried about one thing or another, none really focused on the match. Cassie seems worried about her loss last week, and impressing Lance. I almost feel sorry for her. Why spend your time worrying about what other people think? Who cares, really?
{More movement in the line}
Every single KFC I’ve been to is like this. I don’t get it. The process of frying the crap out of something and exchanging it for money is thousands of years old. There’s hieroglyphics of it. You’d think the process would be down. How is KFC so bad at this?
Roxi - {Softly} Unreal.
Also, Cassie seems preoccupied with calling the other women in this match names, and mocking them. But I guess that's part of the equation. I can't believe she mocked Ricky. And threatened to gouge my eyes out. Wow, what a rude woman. Eye gouging? That's not even legal!
{The line grows behind Roxi as well.}
Why is there only one cashier? It’s six o’clock. Do they not know that’s when people want terrible chicken dishes? Do they not have some sort of chicken genius with a chicken spreadsheet running chicken regression analyses to map out peak staffing needs? Well how about dinner time? HOW ABOUT HAVING MORE STAFF AROUND AT DINNER TIME?
Roxi - {Softly} I should have gone to Wendy's
Anyway, So, by Cassie's logic, she's better than me, because she is a cheater. She laid that out pretty clearly. And because she also lost, just a little better. How do you lose better than someone? Whatever. I'll just have to show her in the ring that winning can be classed and being better. But, for her sake, as they say in football, "on any given Sunday."
{Roxi peers out at the Wendy's again, and then back to the line of people}
Seriously. They have three cash registers here. I have never seen those other two used. Are they fake? Part of some sort of elaborate tax dodge? Maybe KFC’s a front for something? A better restaurant?
{She ponders this for a moment, then continues}
So Let's move on, Ashley Starr. Hmmm... Wait, is she debuting? I don't remeber her at all. Well, I guess that's got to be it, I don't remeber anything about her, or her even doing anything since she signed. Has she even been on TV? But, her build was she was a technical wrestler, and a high-flyer. Just like me. So, from what I can gather, she's a ripoff of me. It seems to be the rage these days anyway. I am pretty sure I could take her in some sort of grappling match, and I'm definately sure I could out high-fly her. So, she can line up like the rest of the copy cats, and I'll take her out with the rest.
{Roxi again peers into the Wendy's parking lot as the line moves again.}
Roxi - Halfway there. Gotta gut this out.
Old Chinese woman, I will beat you with a shovel if you do not hurry up and order. I am not kidding. I can get a shovel. You think I am kidding? I’m not, as previously discussed. Let’s set this up.
{Roxi finally turns to the person behind her}
Roxi - Can you believe this?
Guy - What?
Roxi - This line.
Guy - It's always like this.
Roxi - Seriously?
Guy - Yup.
Roxi - Ugh.
Guy - Hey, aren't you that wrestler Ricky Johnson's girlfriend?
Roxi - No.
Guy - You look like her.
Roxi - I'm his wife, we're married.
Guy - For real?
Roxi - No. For fake.
Guy - What?
Roxi - Nevermind.
{She turns around, back to the cashier}
Oh I get it now. She’s a trainee employee. OK, I feel a little bad for this girl. That right there is a terrible, terrible way to earn $7 an hour. Some people have crap jobs, but they work outside, or make tips or get to go home not smelling of chicken. Not her.
{A small smile creeps across her face.}
Speaking of copycats, Ayla St. James pretty much said that. She wants to be me. Well, get in line. There are just so many who want to be me. It's insane! Maybe I shouldn't have wrestled her before.
{Roxi is only one person away from the front.}
You know, I adore fans, but this is actually bordering on stalking, and possibly identity theft. Maybe this is like Single White Female. That would be bad. I should probably put a stop to the childish nonsense that Ayla wants to play. I'm happy I inspire people, but why would they want to take me out? And why a Soap Opera star? That seems all kinds of random.
Roxi - {softly} Come on, come on.
Holy ****, what would happen to Bruce Banner if he ever walked into a KFC? He wouldn’t last 20 seconds in this place. He would Hulk right the hell out the first time someone asked what their options were for sides. Pants all ripped, leaping on to the counter screaming “SIDES!? YOU DON’T SEE THE HUGE SIGN THAT SAYS ‘SIDES’? WITH THE LIST OF SIDES UNDERNEATH IT? HULK SEES IT. WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? RAAAAAARRRRRGH!
{Roxi is finally at the front of the line.}
Now I see why people take their time in the line, you're kinda like a king or queen up here. Nobody is ahead, you're the best person here. And that's exactly where I want to be, and winning this match against you four is a great way to get there. Although I think for my next trip, I'll take the express route.
Cashier - Can I take your order?
Roxi - What's the special today?