Post by The Ace on Jan 26, 2010 13:49:46 GMT -6
*The scene opens with The Ace sat in a small diner across the table from his wife and daughter who is currently sat beside her mom, looking on in fascinated curiousity at the food on her mother's plate. It was red peppers diced up into chocolate ice cream with a liberal dashing of tomato ketchup. The whole thing just looked so unnatural that it made The Ace want to hurl, but his wife seemed to enjoy it far too much.
The other people in the diner looked on with sympathy and disgust in equal measure as Kathy wolfed the whole thing down, stopping only occassionally to wash the combination down with a glass of pineapple juice.
Solitaire's curiousity had finally peaked...*
Solitaire: Mommy, me want your ice-keem now...
*Solitaire had finished off her own ice cream moments before, as was evident by the chocolate stained bunny rabbits of her pink top, and as The Ace was about to say no, Kathy smiled...*
Kathy: You want my ice cream?
*Solitaire nodded, with twinkly eyed enthusiasm as Kathy took her spoon, scooped out a little and presented the concoction to her daughter as if it was the most natural thing in the world...*
Kathy: Here come's the choochoo train....chugachugachugachuga...Wooowoo!
*Solitaire was getting a little too old for that, but she still enjoyed it and with Kathy seemingly always in baby mode these days she loved indulging her daughter so. Solitaire opened her mouth wide to receive the peppered, ketchuped chocolatey ice cream and it didn't take long for her to regret it. Her face told the story of horror far better than any words could and Solitaire instead of swallowing spit out what she could and let the rest find its way down her chin on its way to drown the poor bunnies even further as if they hadn't been through enough already. Clearly this was his daughter's first valuable lesson in the fact that things are not always what they seem, and sometimes it was worth remembering to expect the unexpected.
The Ace laughed as he reached across the table with his napkin and wiped her mouth...*
Who's a mucky little princess? That'll teach you to steal mommy's icecream, hey? Drink your juice, that'll get rid of the taste.
*The Ace shook the small carton of blackcurrant juice that was infront of his daughter and found it to be still half-full, and so he guided the straw to her mouth and she greatfull swallowed a few mouthfuls before taking the carton in her own hands. Kathy and The Ace laughed, but with the small crisis averted he returned his attention to his own meal - a sorry looking sloppy Joe on the table infront of him, which he was almost certain had seen better days, but now those days were long gone. As he savoured the taste for a moment, he regarded the camera and reflected on his upcoming match this Sunday at Metamorphosis. The Ace swallowed before the camera zoomed in a little and he spoke...*
Joe, nice of you to show up early this time buddy. I'm so glad you're actually taking me seriously enough to actually cut a promo before the last minute this week, I appreciate it, I really do - and trust me, had I known that all it really took to motivate you to show up to work ahead of time was to toss you through a windshield and force your wife to yield to my demands, I would have done it oh so long ago...as I'm sure would have Angel, Steve, Falcon and anybody else who has recently handed you your ass and as a result made my job this Sunday that little bit easier...
*The Ace chuckles*
Now I know what you're thinking, I can talk because I too have lost to Angel and Falcon recently, but hey at least I deserved to be in the ring with them, at least I was in their league being a former World Champion, and sure you're a three time National Champion yourself and that might sound impressive to those who don't scrutinize your achievements as closely as they might. Your first reign lasted a couple of months and you lost it, only to win it back for a month before losing the belt again so in my mind your third and current reign is the only one of any real significance, yet you can't let people forget your other two mediocre reigns because overall the numbers make you appear better than you really are. Again, you're probably sat there in your dark atmospherically intimidating room laughing at the very idea of me criticizing your short reigns when history has shown that as a singles competitor I have had all too brief reigns also, but the point I'm getting at here I guess is, at least I've never lost titles to men who aren't fit enough to spit polish my boots. Men like James Franklin Karn...and even...Jackhammer...really? Really?
*The Ace almost chokes on another mouthful of Sloppy Joe at this point as he is laughing. After a few moments of chewing and swallowing, The Ace sets the burger aside and resumes talking...*
I mean come on Joe, even you have to admit at this point that you telling me that I haven't got a snowflake's chance in Hell of beating you is pretty damn ludicrous, not to mention hilarious. Sure you've beaten great men like Lance, if only by the grace of God, but equally you've lost to worthless pieces of grade A horsecrap like JackHammer and that to me says that you're inconsistent at best and just pretty damn average at worst. I wish I could be as melodramatic as you at times Joe but unfortunately I don't have a table set out infront of me with a various hotch-potch of novelty items from my attic and my grandma's ashes like I was going to appear on the Antiques Road Show...no, all I have is what you see before you...
*The camera zooms out a little to show the diner table laden with half eaten sloppy Joe, half drunk glasses of juice, some ice-cream and of course whatever cravings summoned that gross mess infront of Kathy to the table...*
I wish I could sit here and make up some fantastic story behind each of the items on display here, but let's face it the only story they really tell is that my family and I were hungry for some junk food and that my wife in her hormone-induced insanity took the term far too literally. The moral of my story here is a simple one, don't make things appear to be grander achievements than they are, all those men you've beaten, I've beaten. Holland, Manson, Karn, all are names best left in the annals of nCw and best left forgotten. These ghosts of past conquests have no bearing on your present or your rapidly approaching future. Perhaps you know this, perhaps you mention them only to try and prove to me that you're fast becoming every bit the Superstar they once were, and maybe you're right, maybe you are, after all they're all former National Champions with virtually no lasting factor here in nCw so it appears that you Joe are already well on your way to achieving that dream...
*The Ace takes another bite of his juicy Sloppy Joe and savours the taste for a while before swallowing and continuing...*
I know how much you want to prove your critics wrong this Sunday Joe, I know how much you want the jokes to stop and for people to give you the respect you deserve. I bet when you beat Lance you thought things would change, but they didn't because you beat him long after beating him made you a somebody in this company. All the jackasses in the back, they'll continue making the same old jokes as long as they know its guaranteed to get a reaction out of you, I know because to this day the same old jokes about me and my promo style continue, only now they say that you're the one stealing from me by trying to reverse whatever they say, and I bet you they're laughing their piddly asses off right now thinking I'm finally going to get a dose of my own medicine when you try to reverse everything you hear in this promo, but Joe, I say we don't give them the satisfaction...
*The Ace takes a drink of his orange juice before going on...*
Let's prove that the joke is on them this time because the whilst we may be the two biggest running gags in this company, we still got the signature match of this Pay Per View and just imagine the looks on their faces when we steal the show right from under their swarmy noses and prove that we are every bit as good as they are. You want to prove you're still the main event level competitor you were at Last Stand, here's your chance. You want to prove me wrong and prove you can legitimately beat me, here's your chance. You want to prove that you're someone who wasn't just Spike's or Angel's or Lance's bitch at one time, here's your chance. But Joe, do me a favour, until you have proven each of these things to each of your critics, shut your mouth and save yourself the embarrassment of deliberately overstating everything only to end up utterly humiliated and defeated. There's a fine line between flapping your gums in the wind and breaking wind from your ass my boy and trust me - whichever you do - people will still smell the crap eventually...
*The Ace finishes off the last of his sloppy Joe, feeling immensely satisfied, he turns to his wife noticing she has finished her 'meal' also...*
Are you ready to go? Because I am...
Kathy: Are you talking to me, or Joe?
I'm talking to whoever has the good sense to listen to me...
Kathy: Ah, that'll be neither of us then...
*Kathy laughs and leans across the table for a playful kiss, but The Ace moves his head away and to the side...*
Uh...I don't think so, after what you just ate!
Kathy: Awww, come on don't be such a big wuss...
*The Ace insistently looks away...*
Kathy: Fine, I'll give Soli your kiss...
*Kathy scoops her daughter up into her arms*
Kathy: You want Daddy's kiss, don't you? Yes you do!
*Kathy kisses her daughter on the cheek and strokes her hair as the scene fades to black...*
The other people in the diner looked on with sympathy and disgust in equal measure as Kathy wolfed the whole thing down, stopping only occassionally to wash the combination down with a glass of pineapple juice.
Solitaire's curiousity had finally peaked...*
Solitaire: Mommy, me want your ice-keem now...
*Solitaire had finished off her own ice cream moments before, as was evident by the chocolate stained bunny rabbits of her pink top, and as The Ace was about to say no, Kathy smiled...*
Kathy: You want my ice cream?
*Solitaire nodded, with twinkly eyed enthusiasm as Kathy took her spoon, scooped out a little and presented the concoction to her daughter as if it was the most natural thing in the world...*
Kathy: Here come's the choochoo train....chugachugachugachuga...Wooowoo!
*Solitaire was getting a little too old for that, but she still enjoyed it and with Kathy seemingly always in baby mode these days she loved indulging her daughter so. Solitaire opened her mouth wide to receive the peppered, ketchuped chocolatey ice cream and it didn't take long for her to regret it. Her face told the story of horror far better than any words could and Solitaire instead of swallowing spit out what she could and let the rest find its way down her chin on its way to drown the poor bunnies even further as if they hadn't been through enough already. Clearly this was his daughter's first valuable lesson in the fact that things are not always what they seem, and sometimes it was worth remembering to expect the unexpected.
The Ace laughed as he reached across the table with his napkin and wiped her mouth...*
Who's a mucky little princess? That'll teach you to steal mommy's icecream, hey? Drink your juice, that'll get rid of the taste.
*The Ace shook the small carton of blackcurrant juice that was infront of his daughter and found it to be still half-full, and so he guided the straw to her mouth and she greatfull swallowed a few mouthfuls before taking the carton in her own hands. Kathy and The Ace laughed, but with the small crisis averted he returned his attention to his own meal - a sorry looking sloppy Joe on the table infront of him, which he was almost certain had seen better days, but now those days were long gone. As he savoured the taste for a moment, he regarded the camera and reflected on his upcoming match this Sunday at Metamorphosis. The Ace swallowed before the camera zoomed in a little and he spoke...*
Joe, nice of you to show up early this time buddy. I'm so glad you're actually taking me seriously enough to actually cut a promo before the last minute this week, I appreciate it, I really do - and trust me, had I known that all it really took to motivate you to show up to work ahead of time was to toss you through a windshield and force your wife to yield to my demands, I would have done it oh so long ago...as I'm sure would have Angel, Steve, Falcon and anybody else who has recently handed you your ass and as a result made my job this Sunday that little bit easier...
*The Ace chuckles*
Now I know what you're thinking, I can talk because I too have lost to Angel and Falcon recently, but hey at least I deserved to be in the ring with them, at least I was in their league being a former World Champion, and sure you're a three time National Champion yourself and that might sound impressive to those who don't scrutinize your achievements as closely as they might. Your first reign lasted a couple of months and you lost it, only to win it back for a month before losing the belt again so in my mind your third and current reign is the only one of any real significance, yet you can't let people forget your other two mediocre reigns because overall the numbers make you appear better than you really are. Again, you're probably sat there in your dark atmospherically intimidating room laughing at the very idea of me criticizing your short reigns when history has shown that as a singles competitor I have had all too brief reigns also, but the point I'm getting at here I guess is, at least I've never lost titles to men who aren't fit enough to spit polish my boots. Men like James Franklin Karn...and even...Jackhammer...really? Really?
*The Ace almost chokes on another mouthful of Sloppy Joe at this point as he is laughing. After a few moments of chewing and swallowing, The Ace sets the burger aside and resumes talking...*
I mean come on Joe, even you have to admit at this point that you telling me that I haven't got a snowflake's chance in Hell of beating you is pretty damn ludicrous, not to mention hilarious. Sure you've beaten great men like Lance, if only by the grace of God, but equally you've lost to worthless pieces of grade A horsecrap like JackHammer and that to me says that you're inconsistent at best and just pretty damn average at worst. I wish I could be as melodramatic as you at times Joe but unfortunately I don't have a table set out infront of me with a various hotch-potch of novelty items from my attic and my grandma's ashes like I was going to appear on the Antiques Road Show...no, all I have is what you see before you...
*The camera zooms out a little to show the diner table laden with half eaten sloppy Joe, half drunk glasses of juice, some ice-cream and of course whatever cravings summoned that gross mess infront of Kathy to the table...*
I wish I could sit here and make up some fantastic story behind each of the items on display here, but let's face it the only story they really tell is that my family and I were hungry for some junk food and that my wife in her hormone-induced insanity took the term far too literally. The moral of my story here is a simple one, don't make things appear to be grander achievements than they are, all those men you've beaten, I've beaten. Holland, Manson, Karn, all are names best left in the annals of nCw and best left forgotten. These ghosts of past conquests have no bearing on your present or your rapidly approaching future. Perhaps you know this, perhaps you mention them only to try and prove to me that you're fast becoming every bit the Superstar they once were, and maybe you're right, maybe you are, after all they're all former National Champions with virtually no lasting factor here in nCw so it appears that you Joe are already well on your way to achieving that dream...
*The Ace takes another bite of his juicy Sloppy Joe and savours the taste for a while before swallowing and continuing...*
I know how much you want to prove your critics wrong this Sunday Joe, I know how much you want the jokes to stop and for people to give you the respect you deserve. I bet when you beat Lance you thought things would change, but they didn't because you beat him long after beating him made you a somebody in this company. All the jackasses in the back, they'll continue making the same old jokes as long as they know its guaranteed to get a reaction out of you, I know because to this day the same old jokes about me and my promo style continue, only now they say that you're the one stealing from me by trying to reverse whatever they say, and I bet you they're laughing their piddly asses off right now thinking I'm finally going to get a dose of my own medicine when you try to reverse everything you hear in this promo, but Joe, I say we don't give them the satisfaction...
*The Ace takes a drink of his orange juice before going on...*
Let's prove that the joke is on them this time because the whilst we may be the two biggest running gags in this company, we still got the signature match of this Pay Per View and just imagine the looks on their faces when we steal the show right from under their swarmy noses and prove that we are every bit as good as they are. You want to prove you're still the main event level competitor you were at Last Stand, here's your chance. You want to prove me wrong and prove you can legitimately beat me, here's your chance. You want to prove that you're someone who wasn't just Spike's or Angel's or Lance's bitch at one time, here's your chance. But Joe, do me a favour, until you have proven each of these things to each of your critics, shut your mouth and save yourself the embarrassment of deliberately overstating everything only to end up utterly humiliated and defeated. There's a fine line between flapping your gums in the wind and breaking wind from your ass my boy and trust me - whichever you do - people will still smell the crap eventually...
*The Ace finishes off the last of his sloppy Joe, feeling immensely satisfied, he turns to his wife noticing she has finished her 'meal' also...*
Are you ready to go? Because I am...
Kathy: Are you talking to me, or Joe?
I'm talking to whoever has the good sense to listen to me...
Kathy: Ah, that'll be neither of us then...
*Kathy laughs and leans across the table for a playful kiss, but The Ace moves his head away and to the side...*
Uh...I don't think so, after what you just ate!
Kathy: Awww, come on don't be such a big wuss...
*The Ace insistently looks away...*
Kathy: Fine, I'll give Soli your kiss...
*Kathy scoops her daughter up into her arms*
Kathy: You want Daddy's kiss, don't you? Yes you do!
*Kathy kisses her daughter on the cheek and strokes her hair as the scene fades to black...*