Post by Harold Campbell on Jan 29, 2010 15:00:11 GMT -6
Harold Campbell pulls out a piece of paper with some writing on it. As he walks down the street, he looks at the sign above the building. Which we can't see at the moment. He's sure this is the place he needs to be. As he walks to the door, it opens by itself. Harold spooked by this yanks the door closed and then opens it himself.
Harold: Ah... much better and less creepier.
Harold walks around the shop. He sees things one wouldn't find any place else. All types of stakes, garlic crowns, twilight action figures, and much more. Harold gets spooked though, as a man taps on his shoulder and nearly scares the begeezus out of him.
Harold: The hell did you come from?
Walmart Ted: Welcome to walmart, can I help you?
Harold: Ugh... No.
Walmart Ted: Walmart values you and your money. Please shop safely.
Harold: Ugh.... NO!!!!
The walmart employee walks away and harold begins to gather items up for the ppv this sunday. He puts them in his shopping cart and begins strolling.
Harold: So ncw, I see how things are. You crush my dreams for now but I will continue to bring in the victories. I just got off a huge victory. My biggest victory in my very short stint here... I beat a guy who I knew I would beat but still people out there had doubt. Doubt that I could beat a former NCW World Champion. But hey... they're idiots, I'm not.
Come on, harold. You're easy to read, just an open book for all to glance at. You had doubt, you were unsure that xavier was easy to defeat.
Harold: Well thankfully no one can hear you.
Oh... but they can. Seeing as these thoughts are actually being said outloud.
Harold: Son of a bitch.
Don't sorry... no one will think you're crazy. This is walmart. It's natural to walk around and yell to yourself. It's natural to spear people out of the way to get the best deal on senior diapers.
Harold: Whoa... there's a deal on senior diapers.
Yes. Technically you're running low and need some before weeks end.
Harold: Ha...ha... I don't wear diapers. I wanted them for my parents.....
Right.....
Harold: SHUT UP!!! Stop making **** up all the time. You are no more hardcore harry. You are packed away in my mind. All I need to do to get rid of you is pop in a few of these pills.
But you won't. You need my insight right now. Look at you... sunday you're fighting a guy who believes he's a vampire. Who believe sunlight and garlic can kill him. Who thinks a cross....
Harold: A cross... I need to get one of those.
Walmart Ted: I'm sorry. Walmart is not a religious store, we don't sell crosses of the unholy bastard known as god.
Harold: ......
Walmart Ted: Hail Satan.
Harold: The hell.... Get out of here. See harry, depending if he's really one or not. It's better to be prepared then not be prepared. It's better to have stakes... garlic... holy water... artificial sunlight.... then not have any at all. I'd be foolish to walk in there with a blindfold on. I'd be foolish to not take him seriously.
You buying all this just buys into the fact he's seriously a vampire. He's not... it's a look and he's trying to be different from all the other talent here. Trying to sell fear.... WELL I'M NOT BUYING IT.
Harold: I am. I'm buying stock in his fear. If that bloodsucker tries to bite my neck... I will stake him so hard, he will crinkle to ash. You hear me. Sephiroth du Lac you're standing in my way from being a name here in ncw. You're creeping up on other talent, some not taking you seriously. I AM!!! I'm willing to blow hundreds of dollars on this ****.
Harold walks buy people, they all stare at him. As he changes tones in voices all while yelling at a NCW camera crew. Even the weirdest of walmart shoppers look normal.
You're willing to blow more than that. Time and effort is going to be wasted. You can and will just easily walk into sunday and destroy him. No supplies needed, just like the first day of school. You sit and listen, when they're done you leave. Except you will sit and listen, stand up and punch him in the mouth.
Harold: Right... this is why you would lose. Did you see his promo? Did you see all those shady characters he hangs around with? They could be there sunday. They could be creeping in the shadows waiting to pull me under the ring. Take my blood... IF YOU TAKE MY BLOOD WITHOUT MY CONSENT.
Yeah... they were drinking red wine at the party. Not blood.
Harold: Sure... sure....
I'm tired of you questioning me.
Harold is thrown into a stack of soup cans in the middle of the store. A big mess is made. He gets up looking not too hurt though.
Harold: DAMNIT! If you do that again, we will go. You remember what happened last time we went one on one. I kicked your ass.
But I put you out for a few weeks.
Harold: No I put you out for a few weeks.
Right.
Harold: Stubborn prick. You see, vampire man. I'm already a broken man. My body acks in pain every step I take. In fact I'm only standing straight right now because this shopping cart is supporting me.
Thanks to me.
Harold: You're hopeless, Sephiroth. You where your weakness on your sleeve. You don't try to hide the fact that it takes little effort to defeat you. I don't need to study your film in the ring, I just need to pop in twilight. That's the guide to defeating you. I am prepared for that. If you take my blood, do sick **** with it. I will make sure you never return. I will suck your ashes up and dump them in an ocean. You can't survive....
Not really an vampire... but yeah continue to amuse him.
Harold: You may be ageless but I am an aged veteran in that ring. It don't matter how much I'm beat up. When I get the feel in me, I am unstoppable. When I lay my hands on the person who stands across from me, I have the same power as you. When I take my hands.... put them around this stake. There will be no escape for you.
What happens if he turns into a bat and flies away?
Harold: .....Well that would be unfair.
He's not a real vampire, he can't do that.
Harold: We'll see... We will see. Just like we will see you later.
Harold pops in a few pills, as he walks to the checkout line.
Harold: Take that voices.
Cashier: Sir, we just wanted to inform you. These are props, not to be used on humans or humans you think are vampires.
Harold: I know... damnit... they're everywhere.
Cashier: What was that?
Harold: Credit... putting this all on credit. Vampire scum.
Cashier: Huh...
Harold whips out his credit card. Swipes it... and it gets denied. The cashier smirks at him. Harold grabs a stake and lunges at her.
Harold: One of Sephiroth du Lac minions. Die!!!!!!!!
Security rushes in and grabs harold. He kicks and stuggles his way to the exit, only to be tossed to the curb. Harold is without supplies and no defense for Sephiroth du Lac. He is at a loss now, not knowing what to do. He picks his head up, smiles as there is another walmart next door to this walmart. He skips to the entrance, we fade out.
Harold: Ah... much better and less creepier.
Harold walks around the shop. He sees things one wouldn't find any place else. All types of stakes, garlic crowns, twilight action figures, and much more. Harold gets spooked though, as a man taps on his shoulder and nearly scares the begeezus out of him.
Harold: The hell did you come from?
Walmart Ted: Welcome to walmart, can I help you?
Harold: Ugh... No.
Walmart Ted: Walmart values you and your money. Please shop safely.
Harold: Ugh.... NO!!!!
The walmart employee walks away and harold begins to gather items up for the ppv this sunday. He puts them in his shopping cart and begins strolling.
Harold: So ncw, I see how things are. You crush my dreams for now but I will continue to bring in the victories. I just got off a huge victory. My biggest victory in my very short stint here... I beat a guy who I knew I would beat but still people out there had doubt. Doubt that I could beat a former NCW World Champion. But hey... they're idiots, I'm not.
Come on, harold. You're easy to read, just an open book for all to glance at. You had doubt, you were unsure that xavier was easy to defeat.
Harold: Well thankfully no one can hear you.
Oh... but they can. Seeing as these thoughts are actually being said outloud.
Harold: Son of a bitch.
Don't sorry... no one will think you're crazy. This is walmart. It's natural to walk around and yell to yourself. It's natural to spear people out of the way to get the best deal on senior diapers.
Harold: Whoa... there's a deal on senior diapers.
Yes. Technically you're running low and need some before weeks end.
Harold: Ha...ha... I don't wear diapers. I wanted them for my parents.....
Right.....
Harold: SHUT UP!!! Stop making **** up all the time. You are no more hardcore harry. You are packed away in my mind. All I need to do to get rid of you is pop in a few of these pills.
But you won't. You need my insight right now. Look at you... sunday you're fighting a guy who believes he's a vampire. Who believe sunlight and garlic can kill him. Who thinks a cross....
Harold: A cross... I need to get one of those.
Walmart Ted: I'm sorry. Walmart is not a religious store, we don't sell crosses of the unholy bastard known as god.
Harold: ......
Walmart Ted: Hail Satan.
Harold: The hell.... Get out of here. See harry, depending if he's really one or not. It's better to be prepared then not be prepared. It's better to have stakes... garlic... holy water... artificial sunlight.... then not have any at all. I'd be foolish to walk in there with a blindfold on. I'd be foolish to not take him seriously.
You buying all this just buys into the fact he's seriously a vampire. He's not... it's a look and he's trying to be different from all the other talent here. Trying to sell fear.... WELL I'M NOT BUYING IT.
Harold: I am. I'm buying stock in his fear. If that bloodsucker tries to bite my neck... I will stake him so hard, he will crinkle to ash. You hear me. Sephiroth du Lac you're standing in my way from being a name here in ncw. You're creeping up on other talent, some not taking you seriously. I AM!!! I'm willing to blow hundreds of dollars on this ****.
Harold walks buy people, they all stare at him. As he changes tones in voices all while yelling at a NCW camera crew. Even the weirdest of walmart shoppers look normal.
You're willing to blow more than that. Time and effort is going to be wasted. You can and will just easily walk into sunday and destroy him. No supplies needed, just like the first day of school. You sit and listen, when they're done you leave. Except you will sit and listen, stand up and punch him in the mouth.
Harold: Right... this is why you would lose. Did you see his promo? Did you see all those shady characters he hangs around with? They could be there sunday. They could be creeping in the shadows waiting to pull me under the ring. Take my blood... IF YOU TAKE MY BLOOD WITHOUT MY CONSENT.
Yeah... they were drinking red wine at the party. Not blood.
Harold: Sure... sure....
I'm tired of you questioning me.
Harold is thrown into a stack of soup cans in the middle of the store. A big mess is made. He gets up looking not too hurt though.
Harold: DAMNIT! If you do that again, we will go. You remember what happened last time we went one on one. I kicked your ass.
But I put you out for a few weeks.
Harold: No I put you out for a few weeks.
Right.
Harold: Stubborn prick. You see, vampire man. I'm already a broken man. My body acks in pain every step I take. In fact I'm only standing straight right now because this shopping cart is supporting me.
Thanks to me.
Harold: You're hopeless, Sephiroth. You where your weakness on your sleeve. You don't try to hide the fact that it takes little effort to defeat you. I don't need to study your film in the ring, I just need to pop in twilight. That's the guide to defeating you. I am prepared for that. If you take my blood, do sick **** with it. I will make sure you never return. I will suck your ashes up and dump them in an ocean. You can't survive....
Not really an vampire... but yeah continue to amuse him.
Harold: You may be ageless but I am an aged veteran in that ring. It don't matter how much I'm beat up. When I get the feel in me, I am unstoppable. When I lay my hands on the person who stands across from me, I have the same power as you. When I take my hands.... put them around this stake. There will be no escape for you.
What happens if he turns into a bat and flies away?
Harold: .....Well that would be unfair.
He's not a real vampire, he can't do that.
Harold: We'll see... We will see. Just like we will see you later.
Harold pops in a few pills, as he walks to the checkout line.
Harold: Take that voices.
Cashier: Sir, we just wanted to inform you. These are props, not to be used on humans or humans you think are vampires.
Harold: I know... damnit... they're everywhere.
Cashier: What was that?
Harold: Credit... putting this all on credit. Vampire scum.
Cashier: Huh...
Harold whips out his credit card. Swipes it... and it gets denied. The cashier smirks at him. Harold grabs a stake and lunges at her.
Harold: One of Sephiroth du Lac minions. Die!!!!!!!!
Security rushes in and grabs harold. He kicks and stuggles his way to the exit, only to be tossed to the curb. Harold is without supplies and no defense for Sephiroth du Lac. He is at a loss now, not knowing what to do. He picks his head up, smiles as there is another walmart next door to this walmart. He skips to the entrance, we fade out.