Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Jan 30, 2010 18:15:19 GMT -6
Alright, I don't know if any of you play D&D but if you do forgive me for this parody. I play D&D myself and am considering Seppuku for my actions today. Anywho...
The rules: I am the DM and I am not afraid to use every wrath of God I have to smite the hell out of you. Don't tick me off.
You may not create characters. You may post as any character from the group of adventurers provided. You get to post as one character per post and no double posting.
I'm including the names of the 'players' for IN-Game 'Out of Character'. Hopefully to add in more laughs
This is parody but don't take anything too far. That would be mean.
Please use (()) for Out of character
Have fun...please?
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Cast:
Freakke as the Dungeon Master, Lord of the Mountain...Dew -Controls the world and makes stuff up. Also lives in the basement that the game takes place
Johnny Randomguy as Bryce the Fighter with a sword -He has a sword...and is not very bright. Both in game and out
Dave Thaddius Zombie as the Perrywinkle Wizard, an Elf -Of no relation to Rob Zombie. Very quiet, devious, and intelligent. The only difference in the two are that Dave does not have Murderous Magic
Sarah Taylor as Vallya the Paladin(Holy Knight) who is of the female sort(not scantily clad) -A girl playing D&D...(no seriously, I've seen it myself). She kills things with a sword and can heal some
Bob as Herger the Dwarf(need I say more?) -an angry drunk with many axes played by a guy who couldn't even pass wood shop due to medical issues
Louis Crane as Louis the Halfling Thief -He's short and steals stuff. And when he plays D&D...
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And so they delved into the evil things lair...
FreakkeOoC: Whats up guys? Ready for some D&D?
Freakke tosses his dice up and down in his hand.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 21:14:08 GMT -6
((Hoping this will pick up a little))
FreakkeDM: Alright, it's been three days since you've all been paroled.
FreakkeOoC: No more bar brawls please...it really is eating up time
FreakkeDM: And you've exhausted all your money in fines and debts. Whats your plan?
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 3, 2010 21:25:04 GMT -6
DaveOoC: This is the last time I let the group vote on my name. You hear that, you guys? Never. Again. PeriWizard: I seek out the nearest tavern, the better to learn of quests to go on. Preferably the kind with rich rewards, such as maidens...and king's daughters...and servant wenches...
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 21:30:05 GMT -6
Freakke facepalms.
FreakkeDM:Alright. You search all day for a tavern where you haven't as a group been kicked out of permanently. You find two...one is a gay bar, the other is caters to those who don't mind cockroaches in their ale
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 3, 2010 21:33:13 GMT -6
DaveOoC: ...are you trying to suggest something? Anything?
PeriWizard: A gay bar or a dive...I'll take the dive. Sounds like a good place to find ye aforementioned wenches.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 21:44:15 GMT -6
FreakkeOoC: No...those are the bars listed for the city. They are the only two you guys haven't torn apart
FreakkeDM: The group enters the bar and are immediately met by the stench of bitter ale and various bodily fluids. it makes everyone with a weak constitution sick...
FreakkeOoC: Umm...thats Dave
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 3, 2010 21:46:14 GMT -6
Louis: While he's puking out his guts, I'm going to look for any easy marks.
LouisOoC: Hey, Lord and Master? Where's the Dew?
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 21:49:30 GMT -6
FreakkeOoC: Well, there's half a bottle in the fridge. I ordered two more with the pizza. I got two by the way. Ones gonna be Pepperoni and Extra Cheese, the other is gonna be Deluxe with extra Pineapple and Ham
Freakke rolls a hidden roll.
FreakkeDM: Everyone is but they all appear to be poor, drunk, or a combination of both
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Lord Dominicus
Junior Member
Resident Loser
More Evil than Rob Diamond Could Ever Hope to Be
Posts: 373
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Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 3, 2010 22:14:00 GMT -6
JonnyOOC: Damnit, I used the wrong login again, whatever.
Brycefight: Ok, ok, so I take my sword, and I cut some stuff in half with it, like, um, um, um
JonnyOOC: WHY IS THIS GAME SO HARD!?
Brycefight: Cripes, ok, that bench, to show off to the ladies.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 22:16:42 GMT -6
FreakkeOoC: You do know they are hideously revolting and probably STD ridden yes?
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Lord Dominicus
Junior Member
Resident Loser
More Evil than Rob Diamond Could Ever Hope to Be
Posts: 373
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Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 3, 2010 22:47:05 GMT -6
JonnyOOC: See this is why you don't get laid
Brycefight: Chops that bench!
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 3, 2010 22:57:24 GMT -6
Freakke facepalms
FreakkeDM: You fail to impress the women in their drunken stupor but you have gained the attention of the bar keep. He screams at you for breaking his property
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Lord Dominicus
Junior Member
Resident Loser
More Evil than Rob Diamond Could Ever Hope to Be
Posts: 373
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Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 3, 2010 23:43:43 GMT -6
JonnyOOC: Kick ass, that's almost better
Brycefight: Oh yeah? Well I'll just chop you too! Slap Chop bitch!
JonnyOOC: See, I'm totally with you nerds on this whole meme thing
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Feb 4, 2010 5:27:07 GMT -6
BobOOC: Sorry I'm late guys. I was just out with my girlfriend and......what? I totally have a gir- okay fine. *hits inhaler* Hand me the dice.
Herger: Hey you with the face! *Urp* Down here. Yeah I'm a dwarf big whoop wannafightaboutit? ANYWHO *Urp* I'm lookin for some stuff I can chop with my axe or....*Urp*....some ale. Whatever comes first.
BobOOC: Owww my sciatica.
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Post by Spike Kane on Feb 4, 2010 5:44:29 GMT -6
SarahOOC: *facepalm* You guys are so lame.
Vallya: *facepalm* You guys are so lame. This is not what we were meant for, we should be questing to save the world!
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Lord Dominicus
Junior Member
Resident Loser
More Evil than Rob Diamond Could Ever Hope to Be
Posts: 373
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Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 4, 2010 5:55:10 GMT -6
Brycefight: I agree, lets give me something to kill, and maybe get a new sword from too.
JonnyOOC: Yeah girly, did you hear that? I totally just agreed with you- pretty hot, huh?
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 4, 2010 20:47:30 GMT -6
FreakkeOoC: Skipping the arguments over property destruction and the slap to Juonny we all know is coming...
FreakkeDM: Yes, there are flyers posted up asking for aid doing this or that. Find this person, kill that one. On and on. The point is which one catches your eye
FreakkeOoC: Someone roll to see how bad this will be. I've got three jobs ready for you
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Lord Dominicus
Junior Member
Resident Loser
More Evil than Rob Diamond Could Ever Hope to Be
Posts: 373
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Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 4, 2010 22:08:51 GMT -6
Brycefight: Oooh! Let's do that one!
JonnyOOC: Alright, hit me nerd, what sort of dumb quest are we going on?
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 4, 2010 22:11:02 GMT -6
DaveOoC: Why do we hang out with you again?
PeriWizard: Tell me it involves rescuing buxom, scantily clad maidens from some sort of evil...and then getting to bed said maidens...
DaveOoC: What? I took Lechery as a character flaw when I made him.
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Post by Keybo Shabaz on Feb 4, 2010 22:22:49 GMT -6
LouisOoC: I'm going to remain completely sober and pick all their pockets in their drunken stupor.
LouisThief: Hey, friends. What's that over there, is that a mystic Unicorn?
LouisOoC: And pickpockets...
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Feb 4, 2010 23:48:26 GMT -6
Herger: Come on! I'm getting sober down here. Less talky more smashy.
OOCBob: *As he stares at Sarahs boobs* Are you really a girl or just a hallucination from my Mountain Dew buzz?
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 5, 2010 7:48:43 GMT -6
FreakkeDM: Congratulaions...you have to kill monsters in the sewers while looking for lost children.
FreakkeOoC: And guys...*sniff* *sniff* GOD! Who the Hell farted?
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Post by Spike Kane on Feb 5, 2010 8:59:05 GMT -6
SarahOOC: Bob...I'm gonna smack you.
Vallya: Bedding maidens? erm, hello!? A hero does not require payment of any kind..
*stares at Dave*
Vallya: OF ANY KIND!
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 5, 2010 9:36:24 GMT -6
DaveOoC: Am I the only one who's only a lech in-character?
PeriWizard: That's all fine and dandy, but bat guano doesn't buy itself.
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Post by Keybo Shabaz on Feb 5, 2010 19:07:19 GMT -6
LouisThf: Speak for yourself honey, I can't feed myself without a bit of silver. *mumbles* I need richer friends.... Where is this sewer?
LouisOoC: Dave, just take a pic with your cell phone.. that's what I do.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 6, 2010 15:16:23 GMT -6
FreakkeOoC: Bat Guano? Please tell me its some kind of spell component...
FreakkeDM: Well, the flyer says to go to the nearest government office and ask for more details. Directions are given from this particular pub if they are needed. With this groups track record however, they aren't needed.
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Feb 8, 2010 1:29:34 GMT -6
Herger: Government office eh? I hope they have booze there.
OOCBob: Please no pictures! The flashes make me nauseous!
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 10, 2010 6:53:57 GMT -6
((Brent gets a cookie for some seriously good OoC In Character work *Applause*))
FreakkeOoC: Right...well anyhow. I think I hear the doorbell. I'll go check and see if the pizza is here, feel free to roleplay amongst yourselves or admire the three things in my room.
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Post by Xavier Williams on Feb 10, 2010 10:49:27 GMT -6
JesusOoC: *jumps through window*
JesusIC: *jumps out of castle*
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Feb 10, 2010 17:27:37 GMT -6
((*facepalms*))
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