Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 22, 2010 8:43:26 GMT -6
*We open on a grocery cart being pushed by Nelly Angel through a parking lot on the way to his car. He looks at the camera as he happily pushes his cart towards it.*
Nelly: Oh, hey guys. I’m just picking up some things I’ll need to get before my big match on Sunday. See, I’m facing off against A-Train and Ricky Johnson with the Honor Championship- formerly the Xtreme championship- on the line. Would you like to take a look inside my cart and see what sort of goodies I’m planning on using?
*He beams as the camera nods.*
Nelly: Well, go ahead, check it out.
*The camera pans down to look inside and finds….groceries?*
Nelly: Oh yeah, I’ve got milk, hot dogs, some orange pop, one of those forks for flipping hot dogs, hot dog buns, hamburgers, hamburger buns, you name it! We’re gonna do some tailgating! I’m inviting both of my opponents to come out and jam it to the oldies before our match out in the parking lot, pretty cool, huh?
*The camera looks at a confused Nelly.*
Nelly: You seem disappointed. What did you think was in there? Weapons?
*We receive a nod from the camera.*
Nelly: Ah, sorry about misleading you like that, but I don’t know, I’d think that by now you guys would have figured it out.
*He sighs.*
Nelly: Ok, here’s the big reveal, I’m not hardcore. Have I used weapons in matches? Yes. Did I come from a company that was built on crazy hardcore matches? Yes, they even had it in their name. Did I purposefully ask Chris Diamond to put me against A-Train in a hardcore match? Yes, I did. But, I am not hardcore. I wrestle whatever match I’m put into, and I use the rules of that match- since, well, I’m supposed to. That’s something that A-Train had to learn, and I think he did, you roll with what you get and you have fun with it. But I can assure you, I am not hardcore. In fact, it came up one time when I was interviewing for another company before I got my first interview gig. Ahh….I remember it like yesterday.
*Nelly starts to rub his chin as the camera does some crazy wave effect to a lower quality camera on a several-years-younger Nelly Angel. He’s sitting across from a rather creepy looking guy, in fact, he might be Rob Black. This logical jump is furthered by the “XPW” logo behind Nelly.*
Rob: So, Nelly, things look mostly in order here, you seem like a bright kid with an equally bright future.
Nelly: Thank you.
Rob: I just have one last question.
Nelly: Alright, bring it on.
Rob: Do you do……hardcore?
Nelly: Um, I’m not really a wrestler.
Rob: I know, but I mean, do you do, y’know, hardcore?
*Rob is winking at Nelly. Nelly is pondering if Rob Black has something in his eye.*
Rob: You know, like, pounding it hard?
Nelly: I thought this was an interview job.
Rob: It is, but, we could use a little help in our other projects, some….hardcore help.
*There’s an awkward silence as Nelly is letting it sink in.*
Nelly: Ooooohhhh, I get it, you want me to referee?
Rob: Um…I guess you could say its like being a referee, I mean, we can certainly put you between two people.
Nelly: Hmm, reffing on the side, eh?
Rob: Yeah, sure, only, like, a hardcore referee for hardcore situations.
Nelly: Because this is a company that specializes in hardcore situations?
Rob: EXACTLY.
Nelly: Hmmm, sure, I suppose I could do that.
Rob: Perfect, ok, now one last thing, let’s see your penis.
*Nelly clearly looks confused.*
Nelly: Why….why do you need to see my penis?
Rob: Because you’re going to get hardcore with it.
Nelly: During the matches?
Rob: If you want to call them matches, sure.
Nelly: Umm…..no….no I don’t think I can do this. It sounds way too dangerous, I’m sorry Mr. Black, but I guess I’m just not hardcore.
*The cool wavy effect comes once again as we return to Nelly in the parking lot, rubbing his chin with sentimentality.*
Nelly: Aww, I remember it like it was just a few years ago. I wonder what Rob Black is up to these days. Anyway, there you have it folks, I am not hardcore. I’m just good old me. So I think being in this Honor match should be lots of fun and neither of you have to worry about any funny business from me. But yeah, anyway…
*Nelly reaches down and pulls up a pack of hot dogs.*
Nelly: A-Train and Ricky, you’re both invited to my pre-match cookout in the parking lot! Let’s knock back some dogs and burgers before knocking heads! Actually, A-Train, I’ll be pretty sad if you don’t show up. But Ricky, you’re a dick sometimes, however, I still want you to come, let’s have a good clean meal before a good clean fight, right? Right? Anyway, I’ll see you guys later!
*He waves at the camera fades out.*
Nelly: Oh, hey guys. I’m just picking up some things I’ll need to get before my big match on Sunday. See, I’m facing off against A-Train and Ricky Johnson with the Honor Championship- formerly the Xtreme championship- on the line. Would you like to take a look inside my cart and see what sort of goodies I’m planning on using?
*He beams as the camera nods.*
Nelly: Well, go ahead, check it out.
*The camera pans down to look inside and finds….groceries?*
Nelly: Oh yeah, I’ve got milk, hot dogs, some orange pop, one of those forks for flipping hot dogs, hot dog buns, hamburgers, hamburger buns, you name it! We’re gonna do some tailgating! I’m inviting both of my opponents to come out and jam it to the oldies before our match out in the parking lot, pretty cool, huh?
*The camera looks at a confused Nelly.*
Nelly: You seem disappointed. What did you think was in there? Weapons?
*We receive a nod from the camera.*
Nelly: Ah, sorry about misleading you like that, but I don’t know, I’d think that by now you guys would have figured it out.
*He sighs.*
Nelly: Ok, here’s the big reveal, I’m not hardcore. Have I used weapons in matches? Yes. Did I come from a company that was built on crazy hardcore matches? Yes, they even had it in their name. Did I purposefully ask Chris Diamond to put me against A-Train in a hardcore match? Yes, I did. But, I am not hardcore. I wrestle whatever match I’m put into, and I use the rules of that match- since, well, I’m supposed to. That’s something that A-Train had to learn, and I think he did, you roll with what you get and you have fun with it. But I can assure you, I am not hardcore. In fact, it came up one time when I was interviewing for another company before I got my first interview gig. Ahh….I remember it like yesterday.
*Nelly starts to rub his chin as the camera does some crazy wave effect to a lower quality camera on a several-years-younger Nelly Angel. He’s sitting across from a rather creepy looking guy, in fact, he might be Rob Black. This logical jump is furthered by the “XPW” logo behind Nelly.*
Rob: So, Nelly, things look mostly in order here, you seem like a bright kid with an equally bright future.
Nelly: Thank you.
Rob: I just have one last question.
Nelly: Alright, bring it on.
Rob: Do you do……hardcore?
Nelly: Um, I’m not really a wrestler.
Rob: I know, but I mean, do you do, y’know, hardcore?
*Rob is winking at Nelly. Nelly is pondering if Rob Black has something in his eye.*
Rob: You know, like, pounding it hard?
Nelly: I thought this was an interview job.
Rob: It is, but, we could use a little help in our other projects, some….hardcore help.
*There’s an awkward silence as Nelly is letting it sink in.*
Nelly: Ooooohhhh, I get it, you want me to referee?
Rob: Um…I guess you could say its like being a referee, I mean, we can certainly put you between two people.
Nelly: Hmm, reffing on the side, eh?
Rob: Yeah, sure, only, like, a hardcore referee for hardcore situations.
Nelly: Because this is a company that specializes in hardcore situations?
Rob: EXACTLY.
Nelly: Hmmm, sure, I suppose I could do that.
Rob: Perfect, ok, now one last thing, let’s see your penis.
*Nelly clearly looks confused.*
Nelly: Why….why do you need to see my penis?
Rob: Because you’re going to get hardcore with it.
Nelly: During the matches?
Rob: If you want to call them matches, sure.
Nelly: Umm…..no….no I don’t think I can do this. It sounds way too dangerous, I’m sorry Mr. Black, but I guess I’m just not hardcore.
*The cool wavy effect comes once again as we return to Nelly in the parking lot, rubbing his chin with sentimentality.*
Nelly: Aww, I remember it like it was just a few years ago. I wonder what Rob Black is up to these days. Anyway, there you have it folks, I am not hardcore. I’m just good old me. So I think being in this Honor match should be lots of fun and neither of you have to worry about any funny business from me. But yeah, anyway…
*Nelly reaches down and pulls up a pack of hot dogs.*
Nelly: A-Train and Ricky, you’re both invited to my pre-match cookout in the parking lot! Let’s knock back some dogs and burgers before knocking heads! Actually, A-Train, I’ll be pretty sad if you don’t show up. But Ricky, you’re a dick sometimes, however, I still want you to come, let’s have a good clean meal before a good clean fight, right? Right? Anyway, I’ll see you guys later!
*He waves at the camera fades out.*