Post by Lord Dominicus on Feb 25, 2010 9:21:03 GMT -6
*We open in what looks like a principal’s office, desk and everything. Soon one Mr. Nelly Angel walks onto the camera. Today, for nearly no reason except to fit his background, he’s dressed in a brown suit, well, the pants and coat are brown (and he’s even got the patches on his elbows). Nelly adjusts his tie as he sits on the desk and looks at the camera.*
Nelly: Hey guys, y’know, someone once told me that you can find out a lot about a person through a method that we don’t usually consider. I mean, generally, when we ask a person about themselves, we ask them to learn about who they are. However, I was convinced by this old friend that you can learn a heck of a lot more about someone by what they aren’t.
*He crosses his legs.*
Nelly: See, let’s look at a couple examples. Atre- er, A-Train for example. Now what do I know about A-Train? He’s not hardcore. This tells us a world about his style. Or then we could look at Ricky Johnson- actually, we can’t, I don’t know anything about the guy. This is especially shocking because I’m pretty sure I’ve wrestled him, but I don’t remember it for the life of me.
*Nelly ponders for a moment before continuing.*
Nelly: Ok, ok, so maybe I don’t have great examples. However, hear me out here. Now, you can learn about a guy’s motivation almost a million times over more by what he is not than what he is. Take me for example. I’d think by now that everyone knows why I’m here, I always talk about it. But no, people still think I’m out for some sort of personal gain or something. I dunno, I guess repeating myself isn’t good enough. So lemme say this.
*He clears his throat.*
Nelly: I’m not interested in titles.
*Pause to let that sink in. In the back we hear a muffled “NOOOOOO!” likely from Randy Angel, wherever he may be.*
Nelly: That’s that. I’m not interested in titles at all. When I came back I immediately got slipped into the X-Division, which circles around the X-Division belt. Now this month I’m somehow in the Honor class. Lemme tell you folks, it does not matter where the higher-ups put me. A title is not what drives my life. It doesn’t drive my career; it’s not what I think about when I wake up in the morning. It’s not what I eat for breakfast. It’s not what I lick when nobody is looking. I’m just having fun.
Nelly: Then why did you win the X-Division title before and are in a title match on Sunday?
Nelly: Well side-mouth, those are both great questions. Honestly, it has nothing to do with me. I just wrestle whatever match Chris Diamond puts me into. If he wants me to take on Jimmy Zane for the X-Division belt, well then fine, I’ll wrestle him and try my best to put on a good show. Which I did, and I won.
Nelly: Why not just throw the match?
*Yes, Nelly is asking his own questions out of the side of his mouth in a slightly higher voice.*
Nelly: Hey, I’m getting there, hold on. Now, then, just like now, I was in a title match. It’s true that I have no interest in titles, and I don’t put a ton of weight in winning- but I’m not gonna throw a match either. If I’m in a position to win, I’ll take it, even if that means a title is gonna weigh me down.
Nelly: Doesn’t that put you at a tactical disadvantage?
Nelly: Not really, side-mouth. See, while I can see where you’re going with this, what with both Ricky and A-Train wanting the Honor title I come off as rather unfocused, and undirected. But think of it this way, now A-Train and Ricky, they’ve firmly got their sights on the belt. It’s like aiming a pistol or a rifle. Which is all well and good, but me? I wanna go out there and explode like a shotgun- and not to beat around the bush, but shotguns don’t miss. Rifles sometimes do.
*Nelly uncrosses his legs and puts his elbows on his knees and rests his head on his fists in a cutesy anime-like way as he looks into the camera.*
Nelly: Am I going to win on Sunday?
*He shrugs.*
Nelly: How should I know? I’m not a palm reader. But I’m gonna put on a good show, so you all better tune in!
*Nelly smiles as the camera fades out.*
Nelly: Hey guys, y’know, someone once told me that you can find out a lot about a person through a method that we don’t usually consider. I mean, generally, when we ask a person about themselves, we ask them to learn about who they are. However, I was convinced by this old friend that you can learn a heck of a lot more about someone by what they aren’t.
*He crosses his legs.*
Nelly: See, let’s look at a couple examples. Atre- er, A-Train for example. Now what do I know about A-Train? He’s not hardcore. This tells us a world about his style. Or then we could look at Ricky Johnson- actually, we can’t, I don’t know anything about the guy. This is especially shocking because I’m pretty sure I’ve wrestled him, but I don’t remember it for the life of me.
*Nelly ponders for a moment before continuing.*
Nelly: Ok, ok, so maybe I don’t have great examples. However, hear me out here. Now, you can learn about a guy’s motivation almost a million times over more by what he is not than what he is. Take me for example. I’d think by now that everyone knows why I’m here, I always talk about it. But no, people still think I’m out for some sort of personal gain or something. I dunno, I guess repeating myself isn’t good enough. So lemme say this.
*He clears his throat.*
Nelly: I’m not interested in titles.
*Pause to let that sink in. In the back we hear a muffled “NOOOOOO!” likely from Randy Angel, wherever he may be.*
Nelly: That’s that. I’m not interested in titles at all. When I came back I immediately got slipped into the X-Division, which circles around the X-Division belt. Now this month I’m somehow in the Honor class. Lemme tell you folks, it does not matter where the higher-ups put me. A title is not what drives my life. It doesn’t drive my career; it’s not what I think about when I wake up in the morning. It’s not what I eat for breakfast. It’s not what I lick when nobody is looking. I’m just having fun.
Nelly: Then why did you win the X-Division title before and are in a title match on Sunday?
Nelly: Well side-mouth, those are both great questions. Honestly, it has nothing to do with me. I just wrestle whatever match Chris Diamond puts me into. If he wants me to take on Jimmy Zane for the X-Division belt, well then fine, I’ll wrestle him and try my best to put on a good show. Which I did, and I won.
Nelly: Why not just throw the match?
*Yes, Nelly is asking his own questions out of the side of his mouth in a slightly higher voice.*
Nelly: Hey, I’m getting there, hold on. Now, then, just like now, I was in a title match. It’s true that I have no interest in titles, and I don’t put a ton of weight in winning- but I’m not gonna throw a match either. If I’m in a position to win, I’ll take it, even if that means a title is gonna weigh me down.
Nelly: Doesn’t that put you at a tactical disadvantage?
Nelly: Not really, side-mouth. See, while I can see where you’re going with this, what with both Ricky and A-Train wanting the Honor title I come off as rather unfocused, and undirected. But think of it this way, now A-Train and Ricky, they’ve firmly got their sights on the belt. It’s like aiming a pistol or a rifle. Which is all well and good, but me? I wanna go out there and explode like a shotgun- and not to beat around the bush, but shotguns don’t miss. Rifles sometimes do.
*Nelly uncrosses his legs and puts his elbows on his knees and rests his head on his fists in a cutesy anime-like way as he looks into the camera.*
Nelly: Am I going to win on Sunday?
*He shrugs.*
Nelly: How should I know? I’m not a palm reader. But I’m gonna put on a good show, so you all better tune in!
*Nelly smiles as the camera fades out.*