Post by Gib on Feb 27, 2010 10:45:54 GMT -6
Some people turn to family…
Some turn to friends.
I have no family, I have no friends. I have my own ways to deal with the problems that life puts on my place and my way is normally found in two different sizes. Twelve ounces for the beginner or the small problems or you can go with a liter for those that really get to you.
I used the large size this week.
Angel, as much as it pains me to say this, you have made me realize something about myself. I am nothing. I am literally nothing. The fans they cheer for me out of respect of what I did years ago, they no longer really care about me. The friends I thought I had, Ione, Kelly and Adam have all but abandoned me and I am where I was before I hit the streets, I am desperate, I am a caged animal.
Before this week I thought that things were going well because I put my blinders on Angel, but last week when you hit me in the face with the truth, when I hit my son in the face I realized something, I realized that I was better of with the mask on. But I won’t do it Angel. You can’t coax him out, you can’t face the demon because I killed him long ago.
I may have relapsed this week, I may have gone back to the drink but I won’t succumb to his powers again. I won’t turn into the monster. I respect you Angel, I respect you and your family despite my recent musings otherwise. I have lived a lie, I have tried to be something I am not, my cockiness turned into the wrong thing. That is why I lost last week. That is why I have threatened you.
I know you are a lesser man because of the comments you made about my wife, earlier this week I was angry but now I am not. I have to remember to be above those things I need to remember that alcohol is not the answer although this week it seemed to be the only way to deal. Ione left, she like so many others have abandoned me and now I truly realize what loneliness is. I have dedicated my life to my craft and that has made me undoubtedly…
The biggest loser on this planet.
You are right, I am self loathing. I do hate most everything about me but one thing I like is that fact that I have made a living by shutting people up. I have made a living by getting past the self loathe and by focusing the hatred I have on myself onto my opponents. And now, all my hate, all the anger, all the issues that I have created in my life are focused on you.
I know you want me to hate you Angel, I know you want to feel the rush that Homeless Harold gives to people but you won’t. Not now, and not ever.
I won’t give you what you want because frankly you don’t deserve it.
Instead you will face the real threat. Gib. See, as Gib I may not be a homicidal maniac but the mistakes I made as Harold were those that are made by a man who had no control over his behaviors a man that only when for full power each time, a man that would lift his already incapacitated opponent up just in order to do something more disgusting to him in order to gain sometime of amusement.
I do that now to prove a point. There is a difference Angel, this weekend I am going to take you apart but it isn’t for the pure satisfaction of it, I will be honest it will surely be fun pulling you apart piece by piece, but I am going to do it to prove a point to the rest of the roster. And that point is the same point I always prove, the point that I am the alpha male here.
You can claim you don’t fear me, that I don’t threaten your title run but everyone can see through your rugged leather clad exterior and we can see the little boy that is inside, the little boy who is shivering and stammering, the little boy who is waiting to get a spanking from his father for not putting his tools back after playing workman in the basement.
We know Angel, you have no fear right, you are the toughest, strongest son of a bitch on this planet aren’t you. I will call it, I will call it like everyone else has it is what is smells like. It is bull****. I am going to make you eat that pile of **** that you spit from in between your mouth I am going to forcefully shove it down your throat until you choke on it. Be honest Angel, the tough guy act has been done by everyone and their mother get over it.
Me, I have fear and my greatest fear is one that will most likely come true. My greatest fear is dying without anyone by my side, my fear is that I will leave this world without leaving a mark and with no one caring. I know, if I died today my funeral would be sparse, mostly just morbid douchebags who want to see what a dead body is like but I am not going to hide that fear. I will wear that like a badge just as proudly as your wear the badge of being nothing new, nothing fresh. The badge worn by every other gothic looking world hating poser.
Get real Angel…
Because I am real, not a figment of your imagination not a bad dream that will go away. I am very real and this reality is something that you have to be very scared about.
Because it is capable of doing bad things to do.
(Scene opens to the living area of Gib’s domicile, Gib is lying on the couch, his normal tight stomach area seemingly flabby this week. From his throat a soft snore is heard, one that changes tone and loudness dramatically, on the table in front of him are two empty bottles of Wild Turkey, the caps non existent and not a single drop lying in the bottom, littered on the floor are empty cans of beer, the room looking painfully like it used to before the rehabilitation. The phone rings, and the lumbering bear doesn’t react whatsoever, not a single change is made)
(The answering machine picks up, saying “Gib here, leave a message douche” and a voice your are used to hearing announcing Collision is heard, the voice of Kelly Knite)
Gib…
Pick up the damn phone already. We know you are there.
What the hell has gotten into you again? Angel isn’t worth this. Your son is. He knows that Angel duped him into that right hand. He knows, whether he says that or not is another story, whether he understands now or later he will realize. Don’t go back to the bottle.
Please…
I don’t want to lose my big brother.
Call me.
(The phone clicks without a single movement from our fallen hero)
Some turn to friends.
I have no family, I have no friends. I have my own ways to deal with the problems that life puts on my place and my way is normally found in two different sizes. Twelve ounces for the beginner or the small problems or you can go with a liter for those that really get to you.
I used the large size this week.
Angel, as much as it pains me to say this, you have made me realize something about myself. I am nothing. I am literally nothing. The fans they cheer for me out of respect of what I did years ago, they no longer really care about me. The friends I thought I had, Ione, Kelly and Adam have all but abandoned me and I am where I was before I hit the streets, I am desperate, I am a caged animal.
Before this week I thought that things were going well because I put my blinders on Angel, but last week when you hit me in the face with the truth, when I hit my son in the face I realized something, I realized that I was better of with the mask on. But I won’t do it Angel. You can’t coax him out, you can’t face the demon because I killed him long ago.
I may have relapsed this week, I may have gone back to the drink but I won’t succumb to his powers again. I won’t turn into the monster. I respect you Angel, I respect you and your family despite my recent musings otherwise. I have lived a lie, I have tried to be something I am not, my cockiness turned into the wrong thing. That is why I lost last week. That is why I have threatened you.
I know you are a lesser man because of the comments you made about my wife, earlier this week I was angry but now I am not. I have to remember to be above those things I need to remember that alcohol is not the answer although this week it seemed to be the only way to deal. Ione left, she like so many others have abandoned me and now I truly realize what loneliness is. I have dedicated my life to my craft and that has made me undoubtedly…
The biggest loser on this planet.
You are right, I am self loathing. I do hate most everything about me but one thing I like is that fact that I have made a living by shutting people up. I have made a living by getting past the self loathe and by focusing the hatred I have on myself onto my opponents. And now, all my hate, all the anger, all the issues that I have created in my life are focused on you.
I know you want me to hate you Angel, I know you want to feel the rush that Homeless Harold gives to people but you won’t. Not now, and not ever.
I won’t give you what you want because frankly you don’t deserve it.
Instead you will face the real threat. Gib. See, as Gib I may not be a homicidal maniac but the mistakes I made as Harold were those that are made by a man who had no control over his behaviors a man that only when for full power each time, a man that would lift his already incapacitated opponent up just in order to do something more disgusting to him in order to gain sometime of amusement.
I do that now to prove a point. There is a difference Angel, this weekend I am going to take you apart but it isn’t for the pure satisfaction of it, I will be honest it will surely be fun pulling you apart piece by piece, but I am going to do it to prove a point to the rest of the roster. And that point is the same point I always prove, the point that I am the alpha male here.
You can claim you don’t fear me, that I don’t threaten your title run but everyone can see through your rugged leather clad exterior and we can see the little boy that is inside, the little boy who is shivering and stammering, the little boy who is waiting to get a spanking from his father for not putting his tools back after playing workman in the basement.
We know Angel, you have no fear right, you are the toughest, strongest son of a bitch on this planet aren’t you. I will call it, I will call it like everyone else has it is what is smells like. It is bull****. I am going to make you eat that pile of **** that you spit from in between your mouth I am going to forcefully shove it down your throat until you choke on it. Be honest Angel, the tough guy act has been done by everyone and their mother get over it.
Me, I have fear and my greatest fear is one that will most likely come true. My greatest fear is dying without anyone by my side, my fear is that I will leave this world without leaving a mark and with no one caring. I know, if I died today my funeral would be sparse, mostly just morbid douchebags who want to see what a dead body is like but I am not going to hide that fear. I will wear that like a badge just as proudly as your wear the badge of being nothing new, nothing fresh. The badge worn by every other gothic looking world hating poser.
Get real Angel…
Because I am real, not a figment of your imagination not a bad dream that will go away. I am very real and this reality is something that you have to be very scared about.
Because it is capable of doing bad things to do.
(Scene opens to the living area of Gib’s domicile, Gib is lying on the couch, his normal tight stomach area seemingly flabby this week. From his throat a soft snore is heard, one that changes tone and loudness dramatically, on the table in front of him are two empty bottles of Wild Turkey, the caps non existent and not a single drop lying in the bottom, littered on the floor are empty cans of beer, the room looking painfully like it used to before the rehabilitation. The phone rings, and the lumbering bear doesn’t react whatsoever, not a single change is made)
(The answering machine picks up, saying “Gib here, leave a message douche” and a voice your are used to hearing announcing Collision is heard, the voice of Kelly Knite)
Gib…
Pick up the damn phone already. We know you are there.
What the hell has gotten into you again? Angel isn’t worth this. Your son is. He knows that Angel duped him into that right hand. He knows, whether he says that or not is another story, whether he understands now or later he will realize. Don’t go back to the bottle.
Please…
I don’t want to lose my big brother.
Call me.
(The phone clicks without a single movement from our fallen hero)