Post by Jayson Matthews on Feb 27, 2010 23:56:17 GMT -6
Oh snapz!
It’s totally Motor City Mafia.
Johnny Rotten is on the right, with a beard more epic then anything Joe Everyman has done in his entire career.
Jaymat is holding down the left side and Fergus Callaghan is just pissed because even Jayson’s catchphrase is more original then any gimmick Fergus has utilized in his entire career.
Don’t be mad because it’s true boys.
“Now aint this bout a bitch?”
Jayson turns and looks at his partner.
“What?”
“These dirty sumbitches we got as opponents been flapping there little girl lips for the whole week and I didn’t even know.”
Jayson seems a little shocked by this shocking turn of events as well.
“For realzies? What have they been saying?”
Johnny simply shrugs.
“Iunno? I made a vow along time ago that I wouldn’t willingly listen to horse crap. I havent been nears a horses ass in fifteen years. I’m not gonna ruin all that hard work now by watching a Joe Everyman promo. Besides…ain’t payin attention to minor details part of your job?”
“Why do I have to keep tabs on them?”
Jayson looks across the room of there McM/ Steve Awesome homestead.
“Hey Mandi? Did you happen to catch any of our opponents promos this week?”
“Actually yeah….”
She says, not even looking up from her cell phone.
“….Joe pretty much made a big deal about winning the tag team titles since that’s like the “only” title that’s eluded him in his “””illustrious”””” career……note the finger quotes….”
Jayson smiles.
“How could I miss them? You finger quoted so much I thought you were going to fly away.”
“I know. I just wanted to make sure you caught on to how ridiculous I think it is. And then he pretty much cut you guys down into pieces because you lost a few times.”
Johnny looks shocked.
“Well now ain’t that bout a bitch! Joe Everyman is bringing us down because we’ve lost a few matches? Wow…..ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black….”
“Dude that’s racist.”
Johnny slaps Jayson upside the head.
“Shut up. I’m talking about how Joe used to be the biggest loser I knew. I mean the dude couldn’t even win a match to save his life. The boys in the back would rag on him for it and the poor frilly little lesbian boy would start to cry and pee his pants in anger. And now…he has the audacity to come on TV and talk down to us for the same thing? That’s some crap.”
Jayson shakes his head in disgust.
“Dude that’s like Dirty Deal making fun of someone for being smelly and uneducated.”
Johnny snaps his fingers.
“Exactly. Ya know what the problem is? And this goes for Fergus to because he’s part of that “pin me and pay me” group of chumps around here too. Joe and Fergus….they finally got tired of being jackasses so they buckled down and tried getting a little talent. Low and behold, when they stopped being lazy they actually figured out how to win a match or two. Then somebody lied to them and told them they was good or something. And that’s when them little gears started a turnin in there pointy little heads. They went from low self esteem having losers to just another hair on the egotistical ass of life. The thing is…..Joe may have managed to beat Lance…and who hasn’t?…..but he’ll always be the little queer who made a promo about a cute little hamster he kept in his shirt pocket. And as for Fergus….”
Jayson finally decides to chime in now.
“Woah, woah…..you can’t make fun of Fergus.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I like his gimmick. That whole straight edge means I’m better than you thing he does. I just…I’ve never seen that done before.”
Johnny and Mandi stare at him.
“You know what he needs to really pull it off? A lip ring! Oh and a tattoo of his favorite non alcoholic drink on his arm. And I swear if he comes out to a metal song…..like um…..This Fire Burns by Killswitch Engage I swear I’m just going to lose it.”
“Too bad he’s totally using “Just Close Your Eye’s” by Story of the Year.”
Jayson’s eyes light up with glee.
“Awesome! I’d never think about using that song! Dude…Fergus is so original!”
Johnny strokes his beard as he laughs.
“Heh…reason why he ain’t drinkin no more is because he can’t afford to. What with all the royalties and gimmick infringements he has to pay. That brain dead piece of trash. Little Fergus…..thinks he’s so funny with his cliché jokes. It’s just too bad that this match on Sunday is the biggest match of his career, and he’s only in it because Everyman wanted a partner.”
“Does that make Fergus, Joe’s bitch?”
Johnny nods his head.
“It sure does Jayson. It sure does.”
Jayson considers the horribleness of that position.
“Dang. That’s just bad news bears right there.”
Jay adjusts his Batman t-shirt and changes the subject.
“How about Dirty Deal, Mandi? You hear anything from them?”
She shakes her head.
“I don’t watch Dirty Deal. I feel like I have more class then that.”
Jayson nods his head.
“Good call.”
Johnny shrugs his shoulders.
“Don’t matter though. I already know what they said. Grrr…we Dirty Deal…..we gonna get dirty and we gonna dominate…..GRRRRR….I hate blacks!”
Jayson looks at Johnny in awe.
“That was the best Dirty Deal impression ever!”
Johnny does a quick bow.
“Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, I can’t lie….I got a bit of respect for them fools. A BIT! Only because they took hell from us last month and gave it right back. That was one hell of a match wasn’t it?”
Jayson reluctantly nods.
“Yeah…I’m still picking glass out of my skin.”
“Me too. But the thing Dirty Deal need to realize is that just because they won one fight don’t mean they got the whole war in the bag. Same with Nad Company….”
“HA! Nad!”
Jayson laughs out loud.
“….just because you won a match or two…..don’t mean that the next time you walk out to the ring your just going to have it in the bag. That’s fools talking. Because the thing is….McM is very capable of going out to that ring on Sunday night and take those tag straps back home to Detroit. Only for the simple joy of making them idiots eat every dang word they said this week.”
Jayson nods and slams his fist into his open palm.
“Damn right! We’re going to win just to spite you guys!”
Johnny nods.
“And all they gotta do is stop us, and now that the straps are up for grabs in what could very well be our last chance……that’s easier said then done. Good luck boys….cuz McM is comin to win. Like it or not. Now ain’t that bout a bitch.”
They walk off screen.
A few moments later…..Jayson walks back on the screen.
“I didn’t forget this time.”
He clears his throat.
“KA-FLIPPEN-PLOW……bitches!”
End.
It’s totally Motor City Mafia.
Johnny Rotten is on the right, with a beard more epic then anything Joe Everyman has done in his entire career.
Jaymat is holding down the left side and Fergus Callaghan is just pissed because even Jayson’s catchphrase is more original then any gimmick Fergus has utilized in his entire career.
Don’t be mad because it’s true boys.
“Now aint this bout a bitch?”
Jayson turns and looks at his partner.
“What?”
“These dirty sumbitches we got as opponents been flapping there little girl lips for the whole week and I didn’t even know.”
Jayson seems a little shocked by this shocking turn of events as well.
“For realzies? What have they been saying?”
Johnny simply shrugs.
“Iunno? I made a vow along time ago that I wouldn’t willingly listen to horse crap. I havent been nears a horses ass in fifteen years. I’m not gonna ruin all that hard work now by watching a Joe Everyman promo. Besides…ain’t payin attention to minor details part of your job?”
“Why do I have to keep tabs on them?”
Jayson looks across the room of there McM/ Steve Awesome homestead.
“Hey Mandi? Did you happen to catch any of our opponents promos this week?”
“Actually yeah….”
She says, not even looking up from her cell phone.
“….Joe pretty much made a big deal about winning the tag team titles since that’s like the “only” title that’s eluded him in his “””illustrious”””” career……note the finger quotes….”
Jayson smiles.
“How could I miss them? You finger quoted so much I thought you were going to fly away.”
“I know. I just wanted to make sure you caught on to how ridiculous I think it is. And then he pretty much cut you guys down into pieces because you lost a few times.”
Johnny looks shocked.
“Well now ain’t that bout a bitch! Joe Everyman is bringing us down because we’ve lost a few matches? Wow…..ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black….”
“Dude that’s racist.”
Johnny slaps Jayson upside the head.
“Shut up. I’m talking about how Joe used to be the biggest loser I knew. I mean the dude couldn’t even win a match to save his life. The boys in the back would rag on him for it and the poor frilly little lesbian boy would start to cry and pee his pants in anger. And now…he has the audacity to come on TV and talk down to us for the same thing? That’s some crap.”
Jayson shakes his head in disgust.
“Dude that’s like Dirty Deal making fun of someone for being smelly and uneducated.”
Johnny snaps his fingers.
“Exactly. Ya know what the problem is? And this goes for Fergus to because he’s part of that “pin me and pay me” group of chumps around here too. Joe and Fergus….they finally got tired of being jackasses so they buckled down and tried getting a little talent. Low and behold, when they stopped being lazy they actually figured out how to win a match or two. Then somebody lied to them and told them they was good or something. And that’s when them little gears started a turnin in there pointy little heads. They went from low self esteem having losers to just another hair on the egotistical ass of life. The thing is…..Joe may have managed to beat Lance…and who hasn’t?…..but he’ll always be the little queer who made a promo about a cute little hamster he kept in his shirt pocket. And as for Fergus….”
Jayson finally decides to chime in now.
“Woah, woah…..you can’t make fun of Fergus.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I like his gimmick. That whole straight edge means I’m better than you thing he does. I just…I’ve never seen that done before.”
Johnny and Mandi stare at him.
“You know what he needs to really pull it off? A lip ring! Oh and a tattoo of his favorite non alcoholic drink on his arm. And I swear if he comes out to a metal song…..like um…..This Fire Burns by Killswitch Engage I swear I’m just going to lose it.”
“Too bad he’s totally using “Just Close Your Eye’s” by Story of the Year.”
Jayson’s eyes light up with glee.
“Awesome! I’d never think about using that song! Dude…Fergus is so original!”
Johnny strokes his beard as he laughs.
“Heh…reason why he ain’t drinkin no more is because he can’t afford to. What with all the royalties and gimmick infringements he has to pay. That brain dead piece of trash. Little Fergus…..thinks he’s so funny with his cliché jokes. It’s just too bad that this match on Sunday is the biggest match of his career, and he’s only in it because Everyman wanted a partner.”
“Does that make Fergus, Joe’s bitch?”
Johnny nods his head.
“It sure does Jayson. It sure does.”
Jayson considers the horribleness of that position.
“Dang. That’s just bad news bears right there.”
Jay adjusts his Batman t-shirt and changes the subject.
“How about Dirty Deal, Mandi? You hear anything from them?”
She shakes her head.
“I don’t watch Dirty Deal. I feel like I have more class then that.”
Jayson nods his head.
“Good call.”
Johnny shrugs his shoulders.
“Don’t matter though. I already know what they said. Grrr…we Dirty Deal…..we gonna get dirty and we gonna dominate…..GRRRRR….I hate blacks!”
Jayson looks at Johnny in awe.
“That was the best Dirty Deal impression ever!”
Johnny does a quick bow.
“Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, I can’t lie….I got a bit of respect for them fools. A BIT! Only because they took hell from us last month and gave it right back. That was one hell of a match wasn’t it?”
Jayson reluctantly nods.
“Yeah…I’m still picking glass out of my skin.”
“Me too. But the thing Dirty Deal need to realize is that just because they won one fight don’t mean they got the whole war in the bag. Same with Nad Company….”
“HA! Nad!”
Jayson laughs out loud.
“….just because you won a match or two…..don’t mean that the next time you walk out to the ring your just going to have it in the bag. That’s fools talking. Because the thing is….McM is very capable of going out to that ring on Sunday night and take those tag straps back home to Detroit. Only for the simple joy of making them idiots eat every dang word they said this week.”
Jayson nods and slams his fist into his open palm.
“Damn right! We’re going to win just to spite you guys!”
Johnny nods.
“And all they gotta do is stop us, and now that the straps are up for grabs in what could very well be our last chance……that’s easier said then done. Good luck boys….cuz McM is comin to win. Like it or not. Now ain’t that bout a bitch.”
They walk off screen.
A few moments later…..Jayson walks back on the screen.
“I didn’t forget this time.”
He clears his throat.
“KA-FLIPPEN-PLOW……bitches!”
End.