Post by Jabari Woodhead on Feb 28, 2010 2:01:24 GMT -6
*The scene opens up with Fergus Callaghan, Joe Everyman, Scotty Callaway and Maria Williams standing in front of a redneck bar*
Fergus Callaghan: Why again did we have to come here?
Joe Everyman: Because we need to observe Gibson and Kanyon in the natural habitat.
Fergus Callaghan: This goes against everything I stand for plus aren't you worried about Maria?
Joe Everyman: No, between the three of us we should be able to take care of any trouble makers that might rear there ugly heads.
*Just as Joe says this a drunken redneck come stumbling out of the bar.*
Drunken Redneck: BANG!!!
*The drunken redneck's hair then goes from black to gold. He turns to wards the camera and his penis is hanging out of his pants but its not seen because the nCw censor appears over it. The censor is Kelly Knite with a shocked look on her face*
Drunken Redneck: Hey pretty lady. You want to go home with a real man?
Maria Williams: Ugh get away from me.
*Joe and Fergus step up in front of Maria and stand in between the drunk and Maria*
Fergus Callaghan: What is your name?
Drunk: My name is Dirty Doushy Kevin.
Joe Everyman: Well I guess your mom is Ron Gibson's mom since you obviously have no idea how to talk to a lady/
DDK: Sure I do. I porked your mom last night and she says its the best she's ever ha...
*Before DDK can finish Fergus kicks him square in the head knocking DDK to the ground. Fergus then jumps on top of him and starts pounding his head into the sidewalk*
Fergus Callaghan: HOW DOES THAT FEEL **** HEAD?!?!?!?
*DDK is unable to respond. Fergus then stands up and kicks DDK in the ribs*
Fergus Callaghan: That's one reason why I don't drink anymore. I hated getting tossed into the same group as people like him. I guess it could be worse though. This guy could be a racist like Gibson and Kanyon.
Joe Everyman: Yeah that is a good point. It's like they are stuck in the 1960's.
Maria Williams: More like the 1860's.
Fergus Callaghan: For sure. Let's go inside.
*The scene fades out and then fades back in. The group is sitting at a booth in the back corner of the bar. Drinks are sitting in front of everyone. Everyone is drinking some sort of alcohol with the exception of Fergus*
Scotty Callaway: I love beer
*Scotty goes to take a drink and Fergus knocks it out of his hand*
Scotty Callaway: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!
Fergus Callaghan: It was simple. We don't need you drinking because it seems like every time you drink you find yourself knee deep in ****.
Scotty Callaway: That was one time and Mark Evil did break into my house.
Fergus Callaghan: That is true. I kinda wish Mark was here. He has more talent in this barbed-wire wrapped wrist then Dirty Deal and the Motor City Machine guns have in there entire bodies combined.
Joe Everyman: Thats the Motor City Mafia.
Fergus Callaghan: They really aren't the Machine guns? Jeez talk about being super original.
Joe Everyman: Yeah but you at least realize that everyone Detroit uses the same gimmick. They are always the Motor City insert violent term here.
Fergus Callaghan: I still can't get over the fact that Dirty Deal can come in here week in and week out and make fun of black people. Is this really what the world has come too?
Joe Everyman: Unfortunately it seems like it. The way I see it is that every time they make fun of a black guy or make fun of someone who is gay I just see it has them showing off there IQ.
Fergus Callaghan: Is it true that they can count there combined IQ's on one hand?
Joe Everyman: Yeah that is true. We found that out in the XHF. They were even more racist then. They had a large African-American fellow by the name of Mr. Slave. It was really bad. They used to let people hit him and spit on him during there entrance.
Fergus Callaghan: That is a shame.
Joe Everyman: What do you guys think of Jayson saying he has the best catch phrase ever.
Scotty Callaway: What is his catch phrase? Is it "I'm gonna be unemployed next week?"
Joe Everyman: No but that does seem fitting since after every time the Mafia tries to take the titles they end up being fired. His catch phrase is "Ain't that about a bitch."
Fergus Callaghan: Wow that is super ****ing original. If I'm not mistaken I think Steve Awesome used to use that phrase too. Plus isn't that the name of Jayson's mom's autobiography?
Scotty Callaway: Yeah it is. I read it a few weeks ago. It just went on and on and on about how much she loves having alone time with Kurtis Kanyon and Rob Gibson.
Fergus Callaghan: Sounds like the three way from hell.
Joe Everyman: Yeah.
*Two men then approach the table. Fergus looks up at them*
Fergus Callaghan: Can we help you gentlemen?
Man1: We came for the broad.
Fergus Callaghan: Excuse me? I don't see see any broads here. Maybe you should check the table that your mom is sitting at.
Man2: No you listen here Callaghan. We came to take the bitch back to Dirty Deal.
Fergus Callaghan: Well you are gonna have to try and take her from me and Joe then.
*Fergus and Joe stand up and move a few feet from the table. The first man the sucker punches Fergus in the face and he slides across the table where Scotty and Maria are still seated. Fergus wipes off his mouth*
Fergus Callaghan: Lucky shot.
*Fergus gets back up and stands next to Joe. Joe and Fergus then start to fight the men off. Both Joe and Fergus slam the two men through table after table and chair after chair. Eventually Joe hits a Twist of Fate against the first man on top of the bar. Joe then jumps down stands next to Fergus. Joe kicks the second man in the ribs and then Fergus turns him around. Joe and Fergus then hit the Bad Company on the man through a table. As the man goes crashing down a knife blade comes out of his boot and cuts Fergus' forehead open*
Joe Everyman: Damn dude you are bleeding.
*Fergus feels his forehead and then looks at his fingers*
Fergus Callaghan: Yeah I guess so. Hey you guys should get out of here before more rednecks and Mafia members come for Maria.
*Joe, Maria and Scotty leave the bar. The camera looks at Fergus*
Fergus Callaghan: Well now I can say whatever I want because they are gone now. Well as you saw Dirty Deal not even your lackeys can beat the team of Joe Everyman and Fergus Callaghan. Here is the way I look at it now. We are two and zero against you guys. We beat the Motor City Mafia two weeks ago and then we tangled with both teams last week with Magically Delicious thrown in there. We didn't get pinned which in my book is just as good as a win. Dirty Deal you guys should feel no shame in giving up the titles now. I hear the circus...I mean the XHF is coming back next month. I don't feel bad about beating you guys I just feel bad about beating the Mafia because if they lose they are gonna get fired again and will cause the Michigan state unemployment to go up again. I can't deal with that on my conscience. Well I guess I'll see you all on Sunday and Dirty Deal thanks for keeping our titles warm for us.
*Fergus walks off camera. A few seconds later he walks back on*
Fergus Callaghan: By the way Gibson to answer your question of "why did the chicken cross the road" it was so he could avoid getting raped by you.
*Fergus then walks off camera as the scene fades to black*
Fergus Callaghan: Why again did we have to come here?
Joe Everyman: Because we need to observe Gibson and Kanyon in the natural habitat.
Fergus Callaghan: This goes against everything I stand for plus aren't you worried about Maria?
Joe Everyman: No, between the three of us we should be able to take care of any trouble makers that might rear there ugly heads.
*Just as Joe says this a drunken redneck come stumbling out of the bar.*
Drunken Redneck: BANG!!!
*The drunken redneck's hair then goes from black to gold. He turns to wards the camera and his penis is hanging out of his pants but its not seen because the nCw censor appears over it. The censor is Kelly Knite with a shocked look on her face*
Drunken Redneck: Hey pretty lady. You want to go home with a real man?
Maria Williams: Ugh get away from me.
*Joe and Fergus step up in front of Maria and stand in between the drunk and Maria*
Fergus Callaghan: What is your name?
Drunk: My name is Dirty Doushy Kevin.
Joe Everyman: Well I guess your mom is Ron Gibson's mom since you obviously have no idea how to talk to a lady/
DDK: Sure I do. I porked your mom last night and she says its the best she's ever ha...
*Before DDK can finish Fergus kicks him square in the head knocking DDK to the ground. Fergus then jumps on top of him and starts pounding his head into the sidewalk*
Fergus Callaghan: HOW DOES THAT FEEL **** HEAD?!?!?!?
*DDK is unable to respond. Fergus then stands up and kicks DDK in the ribs*
Fergus Callaghan: That's one reason why I don't drink anymore. I hated getting tossed into the same group as people like him. I guess it could be worse though. This guy could be a racist like Gibson and Kanyon.
Joe Everyman: Yeah that is a good point. It's like they are stuck in the 1960's.
Maria Williams: More like the 1860's.
Fergus Callaghan: For sure. Let's go inside.
*The scene fades out and then fades back in. The group is sitting at a booth in the back corner of the bar. Drinks are sitting in front of everyone. Everyone is drinking some sort of alcohol with the exception of Fergus*
Scotty Callaway: I love beer
*Scotty goes to take a drink and Fergus knocks it out of his hand*
Scotty Callaway: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!
Fergus Callaghan: It was simple. We don't need you drinking because it seems like every time you drink you find yourself knee deep in ****.
Scotty Callaway: That was one time and Mark Evil did break into my house.
Fergus Callaghan: That is true. I kinda wish Mark was here. He has more talent in this barbed-wire wrapped wrist then Dirty Deal and the Motor City Machine guns have in there entire bodies combined.
Joe Everyman: Thats the Motor City Mafia.
Fergus Callaghan: They really aren't the Machine guns? Jeez talk about being super original.
Joe Everyman: Yeah but you at least realize that everyone Detroit uses the same gimmick. They are always the Motor City insert violent term here.
Fergus Callaghan: I still can't get over the fact that Dirty Deal can come in here week in and week out and make fun of black people. Is this really what the world has come too?
Joe Everyman: Unfortunately it seems like it. The way I see it is that every time they make fun of a black guy or make fun of someone who is gay I just see it has them showing off there IQ.
Fergus Callaghan: Is it true that they can count there combined IQ's on one hand?
Joe Everyman: Yeah that is true. We found that out in the XHF. They were even more racist then. They had a large African-American fellow by the name of Mr. Slave. It was really bad. They used to let people hit him and spit on him during there entrance.
Fergus Callaghan: That is a shame.
Joe Everyman: What do you guys think of Jayson saying he has the best catch phrase ever.
Scotty Callaway: What is his catch phrase? Is it "I'm gonna be unemployed next week?"
Joe Everyman: No but that does seem fitting since after every time the Mafia tries to take the titles they end up being fired. His catch phrase is "Ain't that about a bitch."
Fergus Callaghan: Wow that is super ****ing original. If I'm not mistaken I think Steve Awesome used to use that phrase too. Plus isn't that the name of Jayson's mom's autobiography?
Scotty Callaway: Yeah it is. I read it a few weeks ago. It just went on and on and on about how much she loves having alone time with Kurtis Kanyon and Rob Gibson.
Fergus Callaghan: Sounds like the three way from hell.
Joe Everyman: Yeah.
*Two men then approach the table. Fergus looks up at them*
Fergus Callaghan: Can we help you gentlemen?
Man1: We came for the broad.
Fergus Callaghan: Excuse me? I don't see see any broads here. Maybe you should check the table that your mom is sitting at.
Man2: No you listen here Callaghan. We came to take the bitch back to Dirty Deal.
Fergus Callaghan: Well you are gonna have to try and take her from me and Joe then.
*Fergus and Joe stand up and move a few feet from the table. The first man the sucker punches Fergus in the face and he slides across the table where Scotty and Maria are still seated. Fergus wipes off his mouth*
Fergus Callaghan: Lucky shot.
*Fergus gets back up and stands next to Joe. Joe and Fergus then start to fight the men off. Both Joe and Fergus slam the two men through table after table and chair after chair. Eventually Joe hits a Twist of Fate against the first man on top of the bar. Joe then jumps down stands next to Fergus. Joe kicks the second man in the ribs and then Fergus turns him around. Joe and Fergus then hit the Bad Company on the man through a table. As the man goes crashing down a knife blade comes out of his boot and cuts Fergus' forehead open*
Joe Everyman: Damn dude you are bleeding.
*Fergus feels his forehead and then looks at his fingers*
Fergus Callaghan: Yeah I guess so. Hey you guys should get out of here before more rednecks and Mafia members come for Maria.
*Joe, Maria and Scotty leave the bar. The camera looks at Fergus*
Fergus Callaghan: Well now I can say whatever I want because they are gone now. Well as you saw Dirty Deal not even your lackeys can beat the team of Joe Everyman and Fergus Callaghan. Here is the way I look at it now. We are two and zero against you guys. We beat the Motor City Mafia two weeks ago and then we tangled with both teams last week with Magically Delicious thrown in there. We didn't get pinned which in my book is just as good as a win. Dirty Deal you guys should feel no shame in giving up the titles now. I hear the circus...I mean the XHF is coming back next month. I don't feel bad about beating you guys I just feel bad about beating the Mafia because if they lose they are gonna get fired again and will cause the Michigan state unemployment to go up again. I can't deal with that on my conscience. Well I guess I'll see you all on Sunday and Dirty Deal thanks for keeping our titles warm for us.
*Fergus walks off camera. A few seconds later he walks back on*
Fergus Callaghan: By the way Gibson to answer your question of "why did the chicken cross the road" it was so he could avoid getting raped by you.
*Fergus then walks off camera as the scene fades to black*