Post by Mike Machado on Mar 3, 2010 0:32:23 GMT -6
”Sensational” Jason Blair: Mike? Mike? Let's go, you need to wake up.
Blair stands over Mike Machado who is laying on the couch of their 2 bedroom apartment. His eyes open and look at the ceiling. He speaks with effort, weakly, almost whispering.
”Mediocre” Mike Machado: Am I dead?
JB: Nope.
MM: Did I win?
JB: BK really did a number on you. Maybe I should have taken you to the hospital after all.
The mention of Brad Kane seems to set something in Mike off. He flinches and his eyes shoot open.
MM: Brad Kane. He's not a man, Jason. He's some kind of blood-lusting mythical beast.
JB: Nope. He's a man. And you'll get your shot at revenge, this I promise you. In order for you to get there, we need to get you focused on Jason Evans. You got him this week, in an xtreme rules match.
MM: Xtreme rules? I don't suppose that's anything like Extreme Doritos? Because those things are awesome.
Jason sighs. It's one of relief. At least the damage Kane left isn't too bad.
JB: No. Nothing like Extreme Doritos. It's a No DQ match. ..It's essentially a hardcore match, but it has to end inside the ring.
MM: No Dairy Queens?
JB: No disqualifications. Stop thinking about food.
Machado sits up tenderly, grasping his head with his hand.
MM: We still got 5 days until Suspense. What's the rush?
JB: Actually, it's Wednesday. You've been mostly unconscious for a good 2 and a half days now. And we have work to do. Anything else you remember about your match at Crossroads? Any particular achievement stand out?
MM: I remember hiding quite a bit.. and... OH YEAH! (lightbulb) I pinned Jason Evans! The Might of Mediocrity! IT WORKED!
JB: That it did, my friend. I told you that it would. You caught him by surprise. It was almost textbook.
MM: Yeah, well.. I don't mean to brag.. but I'm pretty awesome at it.
JB: It needs work. He won't be surprised by it easily this time. I'll let you take the rest of the day off, because frankly – you should probably be hospitalized right now. You got spunk, and a damn chin on you.. that's for sure. Most men your size wouldn't wake up after what Kane did to you.
A light shines behind the eyes of “the mediocrity.”
MM: A day off!? Comcastic!
JB: Oh yeah, that reminds me..Comcast called. They wanted to know why you missed work yesterday. You're still part-time for your half of the rent, remember.
Machado let's out a disappointed sigh.
MM: I knew it was too good to be true. Back to work, I guess. Ya know, I was thinking.. maybe if you took less than 75% of my nCw check, I could stop working at Comcast?
JB: What did I say about that? I told you, my paycheck is between me and you. Wages of managers and trainers are strictly confidential, and not to be discussed, ever.
MM: Right. I know, I know. Alright.. alright.
with that Machado picks himself up off the couch and moves to his room to change into his uniform.
MM: (in a mocking tone) Between me and you, confidential, blah blah blah.
Our favorite cable man gets out of his Comcast company van, parked in front of a modest one-floor house on a quiet street. He adjusts his dirty uniform pants and makes his way toward the door, starting to sing to himself, quietly.
MM: I hate my job. I hate my job. I hope this guy is not a slob.. nCw superstar I am not, maybe it's a chick, and she's hot!
Mike seems pleased with himself as he reaches the door. He straightens his pants again, and knocks on the door.
MM: COMCAST!
A few seconds go by before a disgruntled, older, familiar, man opens the door.
”Sanitational Specialist” Jimmy Turner 'Bout time. Damn boobtube is on the fritz again. ..Wait. I know you!
MM: This.. is truly a momentous occasion. My first time being recognized publicly as an nCw superstar by a fan!
Jimmy Turner: Not a damn fan. I had to clean up the poo you left in the ring after Brad Kane knocked yer ass silly. Thought you was dead, little man.
Machado looks deflated.
MM: So.. you're...?
Jimmy Turner: the nCw janitor! Jimmy Turner! Though I reckon if you're calling yourself a professional wrestler, it may be time for me to make my return to the ring!
MM: Right.. the janitor...
Jimmy Turner: Sanitational Specialist to you. Pipsqueek. Get in here and fix the damn cable. ..and if you could hook me up with the nudie channels, there might be somethin special waiting in your locker this week. Maybe a little visit from mister Andrew Jackson.
MM: Whoa, whoa brother. Keep that low.. I can probably do that for you.. just need to keep that a little quiet. You trying to get me fired?
Jimmy Turner: You won't need that job where you're going. I've seen you out there, and this week it's you and Evans, 1-on-1. He's going to turn you into some Puree Gumbo.. .err something...
Mike's face twists in disgust. Probably at the thought of Jason Evans, but it could also be from the thought of Puree Gumbo cooked by Jimmy Turner.
Jimmy Turner: Hey, look on the bright side, feller.. at least you'll main event Suspense once in your mediocre, uneventful, pathetic, life!
Turner turns around and walks into the house, Mike doesn't follow. He stands there, stunned.
MM: ..Main Event?
The look of joy that comes across his face is beyond words. This is obviously the greatest moment of his life.
MM: I'm the Main event? This is the moment I've worked so hard for! The culmination of my wrestling experience. It has all come down to this. I've got work to do. I've got to make myself worthy of this honor. I've got to look at tape from Crossroads.. I've got to study previous matches in Jason's history... maybe even some footage of his mentor, to learn tendency's.. to find the slightest opening for the devastating might of mediocrity...
MM: “The Main Event” Mike Machado. Got a nice ring to it, huh Evans? Yeaah, you thought I was done with you, punk? You like how that Might of Mediocrity felt? Hm? You want some more? How about a Might of Mediocrity...on A STEEL CHAIR!? WHOO!!
Mike takes to the air with a leap of excitement and victory!
MM: I AM THE MAIN EVENT, B****ES!
Jimmy Turner: (faintly, from inside the house) You gonna poo yerself again?
Machado composes himself and makes his way into the house, fade to black.
Blair stands over Mike Machado who is laying on the couch of their 2 bedroom apartment. His eyes open and look at the ceiling. He speaks with effort, weakly, almost whispering.
”Mediocre” Mike Machado: Am I dead?
JB: Nope.
MM: Did I win?
JB: BK really did a number on you. Maybe I should have taken you to the hospital after all.
The mention of Brad Kane seems to set something in Mike off. He flinches and his eyes shoot open.
MM: Brad Kane. He's not a man, Jason. He's some kind of blood-lusting mythical beast.
JB: Nope. He's a man. And you'll get your shot at revenge, this I promise you. In order for you to get there, we need to get you focused on Jason Evans. You got him this week, in an xtreme rules match.
MM: Xtreme rules? I don't suppose that's anything like Extreme Doritos? Because those things are awesome.
Jason sighs. It's one of relief. At least the damage Kane left isn't too bad.
JB: No. Nothing like Extreme Doritos. It's a No DQ match. ..It's essentially a hardcore match, but it has to end inside the ring.
MM: No Dairy Queens?
JB: No disqualifications. Stop thinking about food.
Machado sits up tenderly, grasping his head with his hand.
MM: We still got 5 days until Suspense. What's the rush?
JB: Actually, it's Wednesday. You've been mostly unconscious for a good 2 and a half days now. And we have work to do. Anything else you remember about your match at Crossroads? Any particular achievement stand out?
MM: I remember hiding quite a bit.. and... OH YEAH! (lightbulb) I pinned Jason Evans! The Might of Mediocrity! IT WORKED!
JB: That it did, my friend. I told you that it would. You caught him by surprise. It was almost textbook.
MM: Yeah, well.. I don't mean to brag.. but I'm pretty awesome at it.
JB: It needs work. He won't be surprised by it easily this time. I'll let you take the rest of the day off, because frankly – you should probably be hospitalized right now. You got spunk, and a damn chin on you.. that's for sure. Most men your size wouldn't wake up after what Kane did to you.
A light shines behind the eyes of “the mediocrity.”
MM: A day off!? Comcastic!
JB: Oh yeah, that reminds me..Comcast called. They wanted to know why you missed work yesterday. You're still part-time for your half of the rent, remember.
Machado let's out a disappointed sigh.
MM: I knew it was too good to be true. Back to work, I guess. Ya know, I was thinking.. maybe if you took less than 75% of my nCw check, I could stop working at Comcast?
JB: What did I say about that? I told you, my paycheck is between me and you. Wages of managers and trainers are strictly confidential, and not to be discussed, ever.
MM: Right. I know, I know. Alright.. alright.
with that Machado picks himself up off the couch and moves to his room to change into his uniform.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MM: (in a mocking tone) Between me and you, confidential, blah blah blah.
Our favorite cable man gets out of his Comcast company van, parked in front of a modest one-floor house on a quiet street. He adjusts his dirty uniform pants and makes his way toward the door, starting to sing to himself, quietly.
MM: I hate my job. I hate my job. I hope this guy is not a slob.. nCw superstar I am not, maybe it's a chick, and she's hot!
Mike seems pleased with himself as he reaches the door. He straightens his pants again, and knocks on the door.
MM: COMCAST!
A few seconds go by before a disgruntled, older, familiar, man opens the door.
”Sanitational Specialist” Jimmy Turner 'Bout time. Damn boobtube is on the fritz again. ..Wait. I know you!
MM: This.. is truly a momentous occasion. My first time being recognized publicly as an nCw superstar by a fan!
Jimmy Turner: Not a damn fan. I had to clean up the poo you left in the ring after Brad Kane knocked yer ass silly. Thought you was dead, little man.
Machado looks deflated.
MM: So.. you're...?
Jimmy Turner: the nCw janitor! Jimmy Turner! Though I reckon if you're calling yourself a professional wrestler, it may be time for me to make my return to the ring!
MM: Right.. the janitor...
Jimmy Turner: Sanitational Specialist to you. Pipsqueek. Get in here and fix the damn cable. ..and if you could hook me up with the nudie channels, there might be somethin special waiting in your locker this week. Maybe a little visit from mister Andrew Jackson.
MM: Whoa, whoa brother. Keep that low.. I can probably do that for you.. just need to keep that a little quiet. You trying to get me fired?
Jimmy Turner: You won't need that job where you're going. I've seen you out there, and this week it's you and Evans, 1-on-1. He's going to turn you into some Puree Gumbo.. .err something...
Mike's face twists in disgust. Probably at the thought of Jason Evans, but it could also be from the thought of Puree Gumbo cooked by Jimmy Turner.
Jimmy Turner: Hey, look on the bright side, feller.. at least you'll main event Suspense once in your mediocre, uneventful, pathetic, life!
Turner turns around and walks into the house, Mike doesn't follow. He stands there, stunned.
MM: ..Main Event?
The look of joy that comes across his face is beyond words. This is obviously the greatest moment of his life.
MM: I'm the Main event? This is the moment I've worked so hard for! The culmination of my wrestling experience. It has all come down to this. I've got work to do. I've got to make myself worthy of this honor. I've got to look at tape from Crossroads.. I've got to study previous matches in Jason's history... maybe even some footage of his mentor, to learn tendency's.. to find the slightest opening for the devastating might of mediocrity...
MM: “The Main Event” Mike Machado. Got a nice ring to it, huh Evans? Yeaah, you thought I was done with you, punk? You like how that Might of Mediocrity felt? Hm? You want some more? How about a Might of Mediocrity...on A STEEL CHAIR!? WHOO!!
Mike takes to the air with a leap of excitement and victory!
MM: I AM THE MAIN EVENT, B****ES!
Jimmy Turner: (faintly, from inside the house) You gonna poo yerself again?
Machado composes himself and makes his way into the house, fade to black.