Post by scab on Mar 9, 2010 0:54:49 GMT -6
It is still hard to believe after years of sitting behind the desk...and being under the desk...and being ON the desk...and being ON somebody ON the desk...and being ON the desk bent over it..well, you get the picture..I'm stepping into the ring. Three people who bore the heck out of nCw and the reasons they are on Friday Night Suspense, the only reason I'm being put on it is because my cousin is a douche bag and I'll be headlining Suspense for weeks, months, and possibly years to come. But I'll be the best damn star on this show, you better believe it! Megan Kane, a "war on nCw"? How many times is your boy, Brad going to declare war on nCw? He's done it more times than my cousin Davey has died and came back to life! He's declared war on nCw more times than Adam Knite has won titles! But there is one thing that's been done WAY more times than he's declared war on nCw....well, let's not state the obvious, shall we?
We are at a strip club, I've been working here during the week. The money sucks being on my knees and working behind a desk in nCw. I've got a family, I've gotta make that money. Okay, I don't have a family, but if I did I'd need to make that money.
We are at a strip club, I've been working here during the week. The money sucks being on my knees and working behind a desk in nCw. I've got a family, I've gotta make that money. Okay, I don't have a family, but if I did I'd need to make that money.
Jaymie Boone is seen dancing up on a pole wearing lacy everything and as usual, too much freakin make up. There is a problem in the front as she jumps off the pole and gets up into th face of a couple of guys who are about to fight.
Jaymie Boone: Listen hear you CLOWNS! If you are not going to give me any of your damn money then you need to take this outside. I've been dancing on that pole for a damn hour and nobody has shown me any money. I'm beginning to think you are both from England or something...they are all gay over there anyways, aren't they?
Man 1: No Miss Serenity, we aren't from the U.K....we are from Norway.
Jaymie Boone: Same damn place, either give me you money or get out!
The two men are so confused now that they forgot what they were fighting each other for, Jaymie gives one a round house kick to the gut as he doubles over in pain. She bitch slaps the other guy as he goes flying over the table. Looking around, she begins taking their wallets and pulling out their money. She holds up all the money she could get out of them.
Jaymie Boone: TWELVE BUCKS! Are you guys kidding me? Get out!
They hurry out of the place as she stuffs the money into her, well, she just puts it away. A man wearing a leather jacket walks up to her and looks around concerned.
Man with Al Pacino Voice: Jaymie, that's the seventh time this week you've kicked the crap out of customers, taken their money, and ran them out of my place. Are you not wrestling yet?
Jaymie Boone: I'm sorry, my cousin Davey has been a real @$$ this past week and trying to prepare me for getting in the ring. I'm just really stressed out from everything. These cheap bastards keep coming in here, making a scene, and I'll have to continue to slap-a-hoe.
Man with Al Pacino Voice: Doll face, if you aren't careful...would of them is gonna slap back.
Jaymie Boone: Let them slap me back, I'll break their shoulders!
Man with Al Pacino Voice: How do you plan on doing that?
There is some scruffy looking guy in the back with webbed looking fingers, webbed feet, and the goofiest grin you've ever seen. He looks like a guy that's been struck by lightening on an oil field, been sucked under low water bridge, has a brother who sniffed chlorine, and came from the junkyard. He hops into their conversation.
Wierd Dude: JAYYYYYY WHYYYYYYY JAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Jaymie looks at him, jerks at him as he scurries back to his corner.
Man with Al Pacino Voice: Who are you facing this week?
Jaymie Boone: Megan Kane, Emma English, and Ayla St. Patrick.
The same wierd guy comes back out and speaks again.
Wierd Dude: Aylaaaa.....Saiiiiintttt....JAYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMEESSSSSSS!
Jaymie jerks at him again.
Jaymie Boone: Whoever, a bunch of tramp wannabe's that I'm not too worried about. I've been trained by the best wrestler in the world, my cousin, Davey Boone and my second cousin...Seth...ummm...Dribble....Drubble...Trouble...Drable...something or another, they are the best.
Man with Al Pacino Voice: How do you plan on beating them?
Jaymie Boone: Simple, once I place their faces between my legs.....well, who would wanna stick around for that?
Man with Al Pacino Voice: You are going to suffocate them with your rotten out vagina?
Jaymie Boone: No, you idiot...well, I guess that could work. I'm going to powerbomb their butts to hell....show them my "Whispering Eye" then COMING OFF HARD "For Your Pleasure".
Man with Al Pacino Voice: That's disgusting, get out of here and maybe I'll see you next week.
Jaymie Boone: They are wrestling moves you pervert!
Jaymie heads towards the backstage to get dressed, but stops to deliver a short message.
Jaymie Boone: Megan, Emma, Ayla....you three bitches had better line up, prepare to get spanked, and then write down all two of your sexual partners in the last seven years because I'm about to spread my sexually transmitted diseases all over you come Friday night. You may think I stay on my back all the time, but I don't. Cause you "Keep Me On My Back" and it is all over for you three. I gotta go, but just remember....."Nature's Calling".
She smiles, looks around, closes her legs tightly and begins to do a dance.
Jaymie Boone: Seriously...NATURES CALLING!! I GOTTA PISS!!!
She runs to the bathrooms where there are probably crabs on the toilet seats, but she doesn't care. The scene fades as the bathroom door slams and the door knob falls to the floor..that wierd guy looks around..unzips his pants..and thrusts up against where the door knob was. Gross...