Post by Jayson Matthews on Mar 23, 2010 19:48:56 GMT -6
High rise shot on the shoreline of Detroit River. The full moon shined like someone holding a flashlight behind a black curtain. It’s light came down and hopped across the top of the water. Down river some was a cruise ship filled with people. On the shore was a deck filled with people dancing and eating fancy foods.
“You see all these people having a great time? They really appreciate life. But little do they know that at any minute, there brush with evil could become inevitable. One evil plan could be hatched and then chaos would ensue. These lovely people will be forced to have there food ruined, there clothes stained, or….even worse…..have there whole night, ruined.”
The deck party turns out to be a marriage. A man that looks to be a grandfather dances around with his grand daughter on top of his shoes. Young and old share a laugh and another memory is stowed away inside both there heads.
“Who could have the heart to do that? Who in this world could have the audacity to be so evil, so heartless that they’d be willing to just put these lives in danger just to have a little fun? I know your telling yourself, I may know a few bad apples who might tell a fib or fart in public, but nobody would ever be that mean! And I hang my head in shame when I have to tell you that you’re wrong. There are plenty of scoundrels of the night that would take great pleasure in spreading pain and suffering upon this marriage party, that cruise ship or even quite possible…..the whole world!”
The bride and the groom share a glass of wine and share a loving kiss. Holy matrimony, the beginning of a new life with the one you truly love. To taint a moment such as that would be downright…evil!
“But that’s where I come in!”
The camera scans up a nearby building. We travel up what looks to be at least twenty stories and what we find perched on a ledge is a man with red thermal underwear on, a big “E” on his chest, a yellow flowing cape that flapped in the gusting wind, and a red mask. He stood leaned forward with his forearm placed in front of him, somewhere in the background epic music begins to play.
“For I am….The Experience!”
He does a bunch of flashy super hero like poses when suddenly an odd appearance of sunlight shines on top of him and then vanishes at the sound of a door clanging shut. Suddenly Johnny Rotten enters the scene and stands on “thin air” thanks to the now apparent green screen.
“What in the freaky ass hell are you doing?”
“The Experience”, obviously Jayson Matthews in a horrible home made costume, turns and looks at Johnny.
”I’m filming my debut as a super hero.”
Johnny just looks at him like he’s stupid and takes a swig of his beer.
“Your actually going through with this?”
“Duh! I wouldn’t of had you help me with the mask if I wasn’t serious.”
Cut to Jayson sitting in a chair with a grey version of his mask. He looks a little nervous.
“Um….are you sure were supposed to do this with the mask on my face?”
Johnny walks up with a cigarette in his mouth and shaking up a can of red spray paint.
“One hundred percent, sure.”
Johnny leans forward and starts spraying.
Johnny stares at Jayson in his stupid costume.
“You’re high off paint fumes kid!”
Jayson shakes his head.
“Only a little bit. The rest of me is completely normal. The world needs a super hero now more than ever dude. What with TWO Domincuses and a gang of henchmen looking to take over as tag team champions and maybe one day the world….I don’t want to wait around for it to happen. I for one am going to stand up and fight!”
Jayson places his fists on his hips and puffs out his chest in epic super hero fashion.
“Sounds like a plan to me. We walk in there, I punch both them nerds in the mouth, they fall down and cry, and we retain the tag team titles.”
“And save the world.”
Johnny shrugs.
“Whatever.”
Jayson claps his hands in excitement.
“Good. Then were in agreement. Go put on the costume I made for you and lets start patrolling the streets!”
Johnny shakes his head.
“I would rather Sexy Jason my own life, then ever wear a “costume” that you designed.”
Jayson looks a little off put by that scenario.
“Wow, that’s harsh dude.”
“Can we just cut this promo and get on with life?”
Jayson nods and hops into another super hero pose.
“I’ll start. Dominicus Republic. You have unleashed a reign of terror upon the world for…a little over two weeks I think…..and I think I speak for nCw and the entire world when I say….ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”
He does a few swift punches and other badly performed karate moves.
“No longer will we be forced to listen to your crazy shenanigans. No longer will we be forced to cower in fear amongst your presence. No longer will we be forced to clip coupons for cape stain remover and send them to your evil headquarters for you. Because the world has been shown the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s so beautiful, Dominicuses, that when they gaze upon it, it feels them up with hope and glee. But when you set your beady eyes upon it you soon realize that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way.”
“That’s a Metallica lyric.”
Jayson stops and glares at Johnny who just smirks behind his beer bottle.
“Just sayin….”
“That light Dominicuses, is I! The Mighty Experience! More importantly, it will be US! The Motor City Mafia! And that means absolute bad news bears for you two because we fight for truth, justice, the American way-”
Johnny chimes in.
“…and kicking your asses.”
Jayson balls up a fist and holds it in front of his face.
“That’s right! When we clash at Sovereign for the nCw World Tag Team Titles, it will be an epic clash of the titans. Good verse Evil. Light verse Dark. Only the strong will survive….and you two will be experienced!”
Jayson jumps into one final epic super hero pose and holds it as Johnny just stares at him awkwardly.
“Whatever. Hey, jackasses. That’s right I refuse to call you two spandex wearing idiots anything but what you truly resemble. So from now on I’ll be calling you jackass number one….
He points at the left side of the screen.
“…jackass number two…”
He points to the right side of the screen.
“…and jackass number three.”
He points at Jayson, who just glares at him with his arms crossed.
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear. My beard and I….we don’t like you. In fact we despise you, because you dress up in form fitting costumes with dumb masks pretending to be all dark and evil. Well I don’t give a damn how dark it is, I’ll still be able to take my boot and shove it so far up your ass you’ll be crying leather polish. Call it a fine tuned dumb ass detector. But more importantly, I don’t like you because you have it instilled in your small mind that your actually going to walk away with these tag team titles. I worked hard to get these belts and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let two ass hats dressed up like comic book rejects come and take them from me. That’s like you telling me that Sexy Jason is going to become a world champion…..uh-uh! That just doesn’t happen. So how about we do this jackasses….”
Johnny chugs his brew really fast.
“I finish my beer, and then we head up to Tampa, Florida. That bell rings and I proceed to gut stomp the evil right out you two boys and retain OUR tag team titles and you realize that not even your darkest most heinous plot will even have a chance, because not even evil wants a piece of Johnny Rotten.”
Johnny glares into the camera as that classic grin of Jayson Matthews shines out from under his mask.
“That’s a Super Ka-Plow. Lord BE-YOTCHES!”
Fade.
“You see all these people having a great time? They really appreciate life. But little do they know that at any minute, there brush with evil could become inevitable. One evil plan could be hatched and then chaos would ensue. These lovely people will be forced to have there food ruined, there clothes stained, or….even worse…..have there whole night, ruined.”
The deck party turns out to be a marriage. A man that looks to be a grandfather dances around with his grand daughter on top of his shoes. Young and old share a laugh and another memory is stowed away inside both there heads.
“Who could have the heart to do that? Who in this world could have the audacity to be so evil, so heartless that they’d be willing to just put these lives in danger just to have a little fun? I know your telling yourself, I may know a few bad apples who might tell a fib or fart in public, but nobody would ever be that mean! And I hang my head in shame when I have to tell you that you’re wrong. There are plenty of scoundrels of the night that would take great pleasure in spreading pain and suffering upon this marriage party, that cruise ship or even quite possible…..the whole world!”
The bride and the groom share a glass of wine and share a loving kiss. Holy matrimony, the beginning of a new life with the one you truly love. To taint a moment such as that would be downright…evil!
“But that’s where I come in!”
The camera scans up a nearby building. We travel up what looks to be at least twenty stories and what we find perched on a ledge is a man with red thermal underwear on, a big “E” on his chest, a yellow flowing cape that flapped in the gusting wind, and a red mask. He stood leaned forward with his forearm placed in front of him, somewhere in the background epic music begins to play.
“For I am….The Experience!”
He does a bunch of flashy super hero like poses when suddenly an odd appearance of sunlight shines on top of him and then vanishes at the sound of a door clanging shut. Suddenly Johnny Rotten enters the scene and stands on “thin air” thanks to the now apparent green screen.
“What in the freaky ass hell are you doing?”
“The Experience”, obviously Jayson Matthews in a horrible home made costume, turns and looks at Johnny.
”I’m filming my debut as a super hero.”
Johnny just looks at him like he’s stupid and takes a swig of his beer.
“Your actually going through with this?”
“Duh! I wouldn’t of had you help me with the mask if I wasn’t serious.”
Cut to Jayson sitting in a chair with a grey version of his mask. He looks a little nervous.
“Um….are you sure were supposed to do this with the mask on my face?”
Johnny walks up with a cigarette in his mouth and shaking up a can of red spray paint.
“One hundred percent, sure.”
Johnny leans forward and starts spraying.
Johnny stares at Jayson in his stupid costume.
“You’re high off paint fumes kid!”
Jayson shakes his head.
“Only a little bit. The rest of me is completely normal. The world needs a super hero now more than ever dude. What with TWO Domincuses and a gang of henchmen looking to take over as tag team champions and maybe one day the world….I don’t want to wait around for it to happen. I for one am going to stand up and fight!”
Jayson places his fists on his hips and puffs out his chest in epic super hero fashion.
“Sounds like a plan to me. We walk in there, I punch both them nerds in the mouth, they fall down and cry, and we retain the tag team titles.”
“And save the world.”
Johnny shrugs.
“Whatever.”
Jayson claps his hands in excitement.
“Good. Then were in agreement. Go put on the costume I made for you and lets start patrolling the streets!”
Johnny shakes his head.
“I would rather Sexy Jason my own life, then ever wear a “costume” that you designed.”
Jayson looks a little off put by that scenario.
“Wow, that’s harsh dude.”
“Can we just cut this promo and get on with life?”
Jayson nods and hops into another super hero pose.
“I’ll start. Dominicus Republic. You have unleashed a reign of terror upon the world for…a little over two weeks I think…..and I think I speak for nCw and the entire world when I say….ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”
He does a few swift punches and other badly performed karate moves.
“No longer will we be forced to listen to your crazy shenanigans. No longer will we be forced to cower in fear amongst your presence. No longer will we be forced to clip coupons for cape stain remover and send them to your evil headquarters for you. Because the world has been shown the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s so beautiful, Dominicuses, that when they gaze upon it, it feels them up with hope and glee. But when you set your beady eyes upon it you soon realize that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way.”
“That’s a Metallica lyric.”
Jayson stops and glares at Johnny who just smirks behind his beer bottle.
“Just sayin….”
“That light Dominicuses, is I! The Mighty Experience! More importantly, it will be US! The Motor City Mafia! And that means absolute bad news bears for you two because we fight for truth, justice, the American way-”
Johnny chimes in.
“…and kicking your asses.”
Jayson balls up a fist and holds it in front of his face.
“That’s right! When we clash at Sovereign for the nCw World Tag Team Titles, it will be an epic clash of the titans. Good verse Evil. Light verse Dark. Only the strong will survive….and you two will be experienced!”
Jayson jumps into one final epic super hero pose and holds it as Johnny just stares at him awkwardly.
“Whatever. Hey, jackasses. That’s right I refuse to call you two spandex wearing idiots anything but what you truly resemble. So from now on I’ll be calling you jackass number one….
He points at the left side of the screen.
“…jackass number two…”
He points to the right side of the screen.
“…and jackass number three.”
He points at Jayson, who just glares at him with his arms crossed.
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear. My beard and I….we don’t like you. In fact we despise you, because you dress up in form fitting costumes with dumb masks pretending to be all dark and evil. Well I don’t give a damn how dark it is, I’ll still be able to take my boot and shove it so far up your ass you’ll be crying leather polish. Call it a fine tuned dumb ass detector. But more importantly, I don’t like you because you have it instilled in your small mind that your actually going to walk away with these tag team titles. I worked hard to get these belts and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let two ass hats dressed up like comic book rejects come and take them from me. That’s like you telling me that Sexy Jason is going to become a world champion…..uh-uh! That just doesn’t happen. So how about we do this jackasses….”
Johnny chugs his brew really fast.
“I finish my beer, and then we head up to Tampa, Florida. That bell rings and I proceed to gut stomp the evil right out you two boys and retain OUR tag team titles and you realize that not even your darkest most heinous plot will even have a chance, because not even evil wants a piece of Johnny Rotten.”
Johnny glares into the camera as that classic grin of Jayson Matthews shines out from under his mask.
“That’s a Super Ka-Plow. Lord BE-YOTCHES!”
Fade.