Post by doc on Mar 24, 2010 14:03:48 GMT -6
One of the main weaknesses of mankind is the average man's
familiarity with the word "impossible".
-Napoleon Hill
familiarity with the word "impossible".
-Napoleon Hill
God, what am I doing?
The drizzling rain trickles off his nose as he decides to remove the cigarette from his mouth. He tosses it to the street below and stamps on it, putting out the embers on its damp tip. Doc looks around at the bare streets which engulf him, popping the collar on his casual, yet slick, leather jacket, giving himself a little more protection from the rain. He pulls his cell out of the pocket of his denims and checks the time. Almost ten. The streets are already shrouded in darkness, the tide of wind and rain sweeping away the light from the sky. For some reason, Doc seems to be enjoying his moment in the rain, in no rush to enter the bar door which he stands outside. He reaches in to his denims again, and this time pulls out the packet containing the rest of his smokes, and tosses them in the gutter.
I don't even like smoking. Who knows what even gives me the urge to stock up on my supply every morning. Just a habit, I guess, less than an addiction. It was my way of getting off the 'other' smokes. Looking back now, I wished I'd never touched it. Any of it. I did drugs on national television and ran the wrath of legal eagles all over the country, and for what? To glorify the life I was living? To show to the world how much I was enjoying being a success? Pff, I wasn't enjoying myself. I was trapped in a place where drugs were my only enjoyment. And look where it got me. I lost years of my career, a career which became more stop-start than a first driving lesson. I lost years of my life. The enjoyment I felt back then, the life I had then...it was...it is...so empty. So hollow.
I guess this is just a moment of fleeting emotion. Seeing Venom on television and hearing what he had to say has me reflecting my own career. I can't look at Venom's career without looking at my own. We traveled roads so parallel...
Yet, in may ways, so different. The last match I had before I re-joined nCw was supposed to determine the greatest wrestler in "the other company's" history. And I won. I should be happy, right? I should look in the mirror and see the best, right? Right?
Then why can't I? Why is it that when I look at Venom, I don't see the times I beat him or the things I accomplished which he couldn't? Instead, I see a man who was where I wanted to be. I see him at his prime, when he was just, unbeatable. I see what I should have been, what I could have been, had it not been for the wrong choices I made. Why is it that just a few days ago I felt like I was really starting to make strides in this company, and now I feel doubt creeping in? No matter what I say in front of the camera, I can't shake the image of Venom in his prime. I can't shake the uncertainty over whether or not I still have the ability I used to. I don't know if I'm still good enough. I know that I still want to be, definitely. I know that I have the will to win that I always had. I just...
I just don't know if I can.
Doc takes a deep breath as he allows himself to stand out in the rain for just one more moment, watching his cigarette packet fall in to the gutter. Probably wants to clear his head before he gets a few drinks down his neck.
It must have cleared quick enough though, because he turns around, opens the door to the bar and steps in, rain dripping off his long hair onto the floor. He looks around for a second and spots a few old friends, who break into a cheer when they see him enter. They're sitting by a table at the other corner of the bar, and one of them doesn't even wait for Doc to join them, instead he gets up and walks over to shake hands with the nCw superstar just as he enters the door.
"How's things man? Been a long time."
"Too long! How the hell have you been? Come on, take your jacket off!"
Doc slips his leather jacket off of his arms and hands it to his friend, who grins and gives Doc a hard pat on the back.
"That's better! A little late as always, but no worries. Listen man, what a night it's gonna be. Johnny's already pulled some broad! Can you believe that? Johnny of all people! That's how you know it's gonna be a good one. I was thinking...few shots in here, you know, keep it casual...then head out to some classy joint, maybe hit a strip club or something, check some a-"
"I'm not sure, man. I don't really feel like partying too hard tonight, honestly."
"Damn, not like you bro! See how you feel in an hour or two anyway, we got time, let's get a few drinks here first. What you having - my round?"
"Honestly, I don't even really feel like drinking tonight. I just came to see how you guys were doing, maybe get me a glass of water or something."
Doc's friend looks at him with a blank expression for a minute, not sure what to make of his request, then bursts into a roar of laughter. He turns to the table where the rest of the guys are sitting, and shouts over, still laughing.
"Hey guys, you wanna hear this one! Doc here wants a glass of water!"
As his friends at the table all laugh along, Doc remains still, looking a little embarrassed at the whole situation.
"I'm not joking. I've got a big match this Sunday, remember? I've got things to do, man."
As he says this, Doc's friend shoots him a look which could easily be mistaken as disgust.
"You're serious?"[/b]
He shakes his head in disbelief.
"You haven't seen us in, what, six months? And you stroll in here, talking like some big shot because you're back wrestling again? You can feed me that crap all you like, but we were the guys who were partying our asses off with you just a couple of days before you fought wars, man. And we were taking every drug under the sun, too. But now you can't even have a beer, almost a week before a match? What happened to you, man?"
"Look, I'm sorry...I'm gonna go. I've got a lot on my mind."
Doc grabs his jacket from his friend and walks back out of the joint, feeling better when the rain hits his face once again. His friend is left standing inside the bar with a shocked expression tattooed across his lips. The other guys at the table look at him as if to ask what just happened, but all he can produce is a shrug of confusion.
This is all I have to show from that period in my life? Fake friends? Guys who couldn't care who was sitting at their table as long they buy the next round? Those guys don't know anything. They don't know what it's like to sacrifice your life in order to prove people wrong.
Look at me. All I have is my talent, my ability to win...if that goes, I have nothing.
That's why I need that success. Without it, my career, my life, has no meaning, no value. I need to be able to get the job done at Sovereign...because if I can't, the sacrifices I've made will all be in vein. I gave up spending valuable time with my mother before she passed away, because I was 'too busy' training. I gave up my home, my security, my city, all to travel to America as some bleary eyed kid with a dream. Venom has a woman he loves. He has kids he can watch grow up if wrestling doesn't work out for him again. What about me? I've got a long list of one-night stands and drunken adventures. I focused so much on winning that I've never had a woman of meaning in my life, I've never had the chance to start a family. In my life, there is only success and failure - and there is no gray area in between.
"Fancy a smoke? You look like you could use one."
Doc is leaning back against the wall beside the bar, one foot also up against it and the other holding him up, his jacket draped over his shoulder and his shirt now dripping wet from the rain. He looks around, broken in mid-thought and a little startled by the voice of a young lady. He looks at her, then waves his hand in a "no" motion.
"No thanks...I gave up."
She shrugs.
"Better off. I don't even know why I smoke the darn things anyway, I don't even enjoy them."
The woman tosses her packet of smokes in to the gutter, something which makes Doc raise his head and look at her once more. For just a second, we can see her beautiful smile behind the darkness of the night, and then we cut.
---------------------------------
Doc sits back on a comfortable-looking leather chair, checking his watch and fidgeting around. Between the one on which he's seated and it's counterpart chair rests a black marble table, a glass of water placed at each side. Doc's tired eyes carry bags underneath and his usually clean-shaven face presents a raw stubble in its place. Just in time, Chad Evans walks on to the scene, and Doc stands up to shake his hand.
"Sorry about that, had trouble starting the car this morning."
"No worries man. How's things?"
Their handshake breaks and both men take their seats on either side of the table during the small talk.
"Not too shabby apart from that! Hold on, just give me a second."
Chad Evans motions over a stagehand who hands him a clipboard. He glances at it, dusts himself off, then relaxes on the chair.
"Ok, so let's get down to business. This is the first time anyone has had a chance to catch up with you since you came back just a few weeks ago, I believe. How have you been enjoying your return to nCw?"
"Yeah, it's been great. It feels great to be back competing again. When your whole life revolves around the business and it's all you've wanted to do since you were a kid, it's hard to just leave and do something else, you know? It's not a just a switch that I can turn on and off."
"That's interesting. How were you spending your time out of the business, and in that case, why didn't we see you back sooner?"
"Well, as most people know, I got in to the whole night club thing, bought a couple of joints and whatever. I enjoy the business side of things and I was pretty much just focusing on making and spending money. I went through a real materialistic stage. It was weird though, because I never really got in to wrestling because of money. It was more to do with being the best, living my dreams. As for why I didn't come back sooner, well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I thought about it at a few different points before now, but there was always something stopping me. My career had become very stop-start in the past couple of years, and I didn't want to throw myself back in to it unless I thought I could get back to my best. Recently, things just seemed to fall in to place, and here I am."
"I see. Let's move on to your present situation. How are you feeling about your upcoming match at Sovereign?"
"I'm looking forward to it. It's obviously the biggest match I've had since I came back, and I need to switch through the gears if I want to come out with another victory. I've spent a lot of time over the last few days going over it in my head, thinking about the match in deta-"
"Thinking about losing?"
Doc shoots Chad a darting glance, almost wondering how Chad could have known.
"I mean, no offence or anything, but you don't seem to have the same...swagger?...which you did the last time I interviewed you. That was back in your first stint at nCw, and you had almost unbreakable confidence that you were going to head straight to the top. To be honest, you look a little under the weather right now."
Doc's expression changes, showing a subtle lack of appreciation for Chad Evans' change in tone, but he answers anyway.
"No no, I'm fine. I've just had a cold in the last couple of days, but I'm feeling pretty good. I'm confident, I'm just wary. How could I not be? I'm going in to a ladder match against five other men, one of whom has already proven he can beat me. I know I've got my work cut out, but-"
"So what makes you think you're going to be able to pull it off on Sunday?"
"Because that's what I do, Chad. Pulling it off is Doc's career down to tee. When people think I'm at my best, when they think that I'm down and out, that I can't do any more, I find that extra gear to switch to."
Doc takes a sip of his water as Chad prepares his next question.
"Well, you certainly are a resilient competitor. Of course, you do share a lot of history with two of your opponents in particular, Alex Jones and Venom. While you and Venom seem to share a real mutual respect, things have been heated between you and Alex in the past. Is there still bad blood there leading in to Sunday's match-up?"
"Nah, I'm not really interested in what happened between me and AJ in the past. In fact, the last time I spoke with AJ, it was here at nCw and we were both part of the Empire together. I don't know what AJ thinks about me these days - he might like me, he might hate me. But I respect him as an opponent, because he brings a real worth ethic to everything he does. He's definitely a threat."
"And what about Venom? Despite coming with such huge anticipation, a lot of the nCw locker room are still keen to see what he brings to the table. What can you tell us about him?"
Doc pauses for a second, perhaps thinking where to start.
"Venom also has a great work ethic. But more important than that, he's a winner. That's what he does. He wins. Some people are born winners, it's in their blood. That's why I will never, never take Venom lightly. His experience inside the ring is second to none and he's still young enough to be at his peak physically. There's no doubt Venom can make an impact in nCw, and I believe everyone will see him at his best this Sunday. If I know Venom as well as I think I do, there's no way that he will come in to this match with any less than 100% against me. There are people that, when you put them together in the ring, for one reason or another, their competitive edge sharpens and it brings out the best in them. At first, I wasn't sure if Venom still had the desire he used to have, but after seeing his promo, I'm beginning to change my mind. He's not the same person I used to know...not as cocky, not as disrespectful. Like me, I guess. But I'm willing to bet he's still the same wrestler."
"Sounds like we're going to have a real match on our hands here. Not only that, but we have a former Xtreme Champion in the match in Joe Everman. Everyman has also held the National Title, but Venom recently brought up his record of losses. How do you approach Joe Everyman in this match. As the winner, or as the loser?"
"I approach him in the same way I will approach everyone else, Chad. I will show him respect, but not too much. Obviously, there are bigger threats than others, but it's not impossible for any one of the six men to wake up on Monday morning as the number one contender to the Xtreme Title. I know. People have said I couldn't win in the past, and I won. I'm not hypocritical enough to count anyone out. No way."
"Not even Severe Payne? I mean, you did beat him in your return match to nCw, after all. You must be pretty confident about doing it again as you shake off the ring rust?"
"Not even Severe Payne. Sure, I've beaten him. But I also defeated Charlie Velez in that same match - a man who had beaten me in every previous occasion that we had squared off. Again, it's not impossible to beat someone just because they've beaten you before. If anything, I'd keep an eye on Severe Payne, because he'll have everything to prove this time around."
"I see. The only one of your opponents we haven't mentioned so far is Freakke. What do you make of his chances?"
"Freakke is very much the wild card for me in this match, but he seems like a respectful competitor. A student of the game like him will soak up the opportunity to be up against bigger wrestling "names", if you will, and he'll raise his game. Just how good he can be, I don't know, and I suppose in a way that makes him even more dangerous than the rest. But I still have a few days to go, so don't worry Chad, I'll be watching the tapes, studying the moves - doing whatever I can to find a weakness in all of my opponents."
"Well I guess that pretty much rounds us off. As a final word, can you give us an insight in to your strategy for Sunday night?"
Doc laughs a little.
"Chad, in these kind of matches, there is no such thing as strategy. You could figure out a way to put all five opponents down, but by the the time you get the fifth one down, the first one could be back up again. You could target a certain opponent, and before you know it someone else could smack a ladder off the back of your skull. In these kind of matches Chad, you just have to be sharp, you have to have eyes in the back of your head...and I guess you have to be a little bit lucky."
"Fair enough. Thanks for your time Doc, and good luck for Sunday."
Chad Evans smiles and nods, happy with his answers, and both men rise and shake hands once more as fade out on some final words from the nCw interviewer.
"What a great start to Sovereign this is going to be! Don't miss it, this Sunday, only on pay-per-view! Until next time, have a good one."