Post by Rob Diamond on Mar 24, 2010 17:14:18 GMT -6
Last Time on Dominicus Republic...
And now, Dominicus Republic...
( Dominicus, LD and Warren are all running down the hall way toward the fire escape. )
Dominicus: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?
Warren: Me? Why do you think I did anything?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
Why did I think he did it? Where do I start? The last time he and I hung out at all he nearly burnt my apartment down, almost flooded my comic collection, tried to make a gay pass at me at his parent's house... The list just doesn't end, so yeah, I totally think he had something to do with it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Warren: I didn't do anything!
( Dominicus is now holding Warren's head out a window and is threatening to drop him. )
LD: Come now Dominicus, we don't have time for this, we have to go before they send security.
Dominicus: Security? I'm Rob mother f*cking Diamond, I'll have Chris fire their ass.
( A gun shot buzzes Rob's head. )
Dominicus: SONOVABITCH THEY HAVE GUNS!!!!!!!
( Dominicus totally chucks Warren at the two guards down the hall before booking like crazy in the other direction, LD at some point or another climbed into a ventilation shaft Alien style. )
-------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
You know, I don't ask for much, just the ability to sleep with hot women, all the title shots I can imagine, a never ending pile of money and maybe... just maybe the common courtesy of my brother to tell me he was going to set us up. I mean really, is it that hard to be like, hey bro, I'm going to set you up? Apparently it is.
-------------------------------------------
( Dominicus boots the fire escape door open and bursts out through it, there he finds the last thing he ever thought he'd find in this god forsaken fire escape... )
Dominicus: SUPER SHREDDER!!!
----------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
-----------------------------------------------------
( Shredder swings with a right and a left, but Dominicus ducks them both. )
Dominicus: What the hell?
SS: NO ONE STEALS FROM NCW AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!!!!
Dominicus: Crap crap crap crap....
( Shredder boots Dominicus in the chest and sends him flying against the wall, he rears back and LORD DOMINICUS SWINGS DOWN FROM OUT OF NO WHERE AND KICKS HIM SQUARE IN THE CHEST SPIDER MAN STYLE AND SENDS HIM FLYING DOWN THE STAIR WELL!!!!! )
LD: Was that Super Shredder?
Dominicus: Yes?
LD: Huh.... Come my evil companion, we have the files we need to defeat the Motor City Mafia, we must flee to our laier!
----------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
I honestly don't know what Nelly thought we were going to get out of those files, hell, what did I think when he came up with this idea?
It was stupid.
From beginning to end, but I figured what the hell? Lets go for it right, I mean whats a little edge on the MCM anyways? It's not like their going to be hard to beat right? I mean they did lose to Hexx and that other loser... Mr. Mysterio or something... But if we're going to become the tag team champions, we might as well win in the most dominating way possible, right?
Right, so I said lets go for it and here we are. But man... Super Shredder? Where the hell did that come from? I mean that was just totally out of left field.
And if that wasn't bad enough...
----------------------------------------------------
( Outside of nCw headquarters, Warren Suffering is waiting for the two Dark Lords inside his Kawasaki POS. LD and Dominicus jump in the back and the two of them start pulling apart the file, reading every word on the... single... page... it... contained... )
Warren: So anything good in there?
( The two Lords look at each other and to Warren. )
Dominicus: Only that Johnny's beard holds the World Record for most dirty Sanchez's in a single night.
LD: And Jayson is allergic to fish....
( Dominicus takes the folder and tosses it out the window. )
Dominicus:*** damn waste of time, worthless piece of crap....
LD: I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA! We must find Jaymie Boone immediately....
( Warren looks confused. )
Warren: Why?
LD: Simple, Jayson is allergic to fish....
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
You know, I don't want to wear this costume, I don't want to act like a jackass, I don't want to rant on and on about taking over the world with this death ray or that star ship, I'd much rather make fun of the fact that Jayson Matthews and Johnny Rotten are about as intimidating as Davey Boone's Corpse in a dress getting plowed by Sexy Jason's formally Sexy mustache. However, I am required to say things like...
"The darkness will consume you for it is all powerful and the dark side of the force is wicked cool..."
Because I lost some stupid ass match to my stupid ass partner who I'd much rather watch get his ass whipped by a beer swilling red neck and his Power Puff Girl side kick than tag out for a quick breather. See, on any normal day of the week if you were to approach me in your big gruffy voice with that rather bodacious beard and tell me...
"I'm going to stomp a mud hole in Nelly Angel's ass and walk that sombitch dry because JOHHNY ROTTEN SAID SO!"
I'd be all like...
"Go for it, want me to hold him down?"
But this isn't any other day of the week, in fact it's this coming Sunday at Sovereign and we're facing you two for a tag team title shot. Now I think we all know my history with titles, One SUPER AMAZING TITLE reign that far outlasted even Captain NyQuil's (Lance Ryan) World title reign. I mean, I rocked the X-Division for like five months, beat more people in title defenses than any other champion on record and probably had one of the most talked about runs as champion in the promotions history.
Needless to say, I was born to be a champion.
And yet, there you two are holding what I personally think should be mine... Well, ours, until I find a better partner... Or get Nelly to admit he likes the way gold feels against his skin.
See the thing is guys, I LOVE being a champion, I LOVE holding a belt and rubbing that sexy looking piece of gold in some poor saps face after I damn near Diamond Cut his head off. Championship gold is why I do this, forget the women, the money, the power, I just want to be a champion. I just want the feeling of knowing your better than someone else. I really could give a rat's ass what division it's for, any belt will do, as long as it's golden and shiny and I can rub it all over my face...
And no, I don't mean the kind of golden substance Sexy Jason used to hire hookers to rub all over his face. (Pee)
Now thats where you two come in. Your the champs, your defending against us, and as much as I hate Nelly Angel and everything he stands for, I'll be damned if I'm going to just let this opportunity get away. So we're going to play nice, we're going to work together and if the only way for us to win those damn titles is to act like a couple of cracked out super villains from Batman the Animated Series then you better prepare to feel the AWESOME WRATH OF MY DEATH STAR BABY! BECAUSE I'VE GOT MY SIGHTS SET ON WORLD TAG TEAM GOLD AND I'M NOT LEAVING WITH ANYTHING LESS!
Sunday night, Evil will once again reign supreme in nCw and you will never, EVER forget the name... DOMINICUS REPUBLIC!
Now all hail the DARK LORDS!
( End feed. )
“We’re breaking into the NCW headquarters in order to retrieve the file of the Motor City Mafia so that we’ll be able to get an advantage over them.”
*BOOM! The door flies open! In walks Warren Suffering (for reference, see Dominicus’ last promo), he’s holding a clipboard.*
Warren: Ok guys, I’m here!
Warren: Ok guys, I’m here!
*Conejo pulls out a lighter and lights up the cigarette, he takes in a huge breath of it.*
Conejo: *COUGH! COUGH! COUGH! HACK!* Smoooooooooth.
*He soon though notices a string of smoke going up towards a smoke detector.*
Conejo: *COUGH! COUGH! COUGH! HACK!* Smoooooooooth.
*He soon though notices a string of smoke going up towards a smoke detector.*
And now, Dominicus Republic...
( Dominicus, LD and Warren are all running down the hall way toward the fire escape. )
Dominicus: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?
Warren: Me? Why do you think I did anything?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
Why did I think he did it? Where do I start? The last time he and I hung out at all he nearly burnt my apartment down, almost flooded my comic collection, tried to make a gay pass at me at his parent's house... The list just doesn't end, so yeah, I totally think he had something to do with it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Warren: I didn't do anything!
( Dominicus is now holding Warren's head out a window and is threatening to drop him. )
LD: Come now Dominicus, we don't have time for this, we have to go before they send security.
Dominicus: Security? I'm Rob mother f*cking Diamond, I'll have Chris fire their ass.
( A gun shot buzzes Rob's head. )
Dominicus: SONOVABITCH THEY HAVE GUNS!!!!!!!
( Dominicus totally chucks Warren at the two guards down the hall before booking like crazy in the other direction, LD at some point or another climbed into a ventilation shaft Alien style. )
-------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
You know, I don't ask for much, just the ability to sleep with hot women, all the title shots I can imagine, a never ending pile of money and maybe... just maybe the common courtesy of my brother to tell me he was going to set us up. I mean really, is it that hard to be like, hey bro, I'm going to set you up? Apparently it is.
-------------------------------------------
( Dominicus boots the fire escape door open and bursts out through it, there he finds the last thing he ever thought he'd find in this god forsaken fire escape... )
Dominicus: SUPER SHREDDER!!!
----------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
-----------------------------------------------------
( Shredder swings with a right and a left, but Dominicus ducks them both. )
Dominicus: What the hell?
SS: NO ONE STEALS FROM NCW AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!!!!
Dominicus: Crap crap crap crap....
( Shredder boots Dominicus in the chest and sends him flying against the wall, he rears back and LORD DOMINICUS SWINGS DOWN FROM OUT OF NO WHERE AND KICKS HIM SQUARE IN THE CHEST SPIDER MAN STYLE AND SENDS HIM FLYING DOWN THE STAIR WELL!!!!! )
LD: Was that Super Shredder?
Dominicus: Yes?
LD: Huh.... Come my evil companion, we have the files we need to defeat the Motor City Mafia, we must flee to our laier!
----------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
I honestly don't know what Nelly thought we were going to get out of those files, hell, what did I think when he came up with this idea?
It was stupid.
From beginning to end, but I figured what the hell? Lets go for it right, I mean whats a little edge on the MCM anyways? It's not like their going to be hard to beat right? I mean they did lose to Hexx and that other loser... Mr. Mysterio or something... But if we're going to become the tag team champions, we might as well win in the most dominating way possible, right?
Right, so I said lets go for it and here we are. But man... Super Shredder? Where the hell did that come from? I mean that was just totally out of left field.
And if that wasn't bad enough...
----------------------------------------------------
( Outside of nCw headquarters, Warren Suffering is waiting for the two Dark Lords inside his Kawasaki POS. LD and Dominicus jump in the back and the two of them start pulling apart the file, reading every word on the... single... page... it... contained... )
Warren: So anything good in there?
( The two Lords look at each other and to Warren. )
Dominicus: Only that Johnny's beard holds the World Record for most dirty Sanchez's in a single night.
LD: And Jayson is allergic to fish....
( Dominicus takes the folder and tosses it out the window. )
Dominicus:*** damn waste of time, worthless piece of crap....
LD: I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA! We must find Jaymie Boone immediately....
( Warren looks confused. )
Warren: Why?
LD: Simple, Jayson is allergic to fish....
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dominicus Cam:
You know, I don't want to wear this costume, I don't want to act like a jackass, I don't want to rant on and on about taking over the world with this death ray or that star ship, I'd much rather make fun of the fact that Jayson Matthews and Johnny Rotten are about as intimidating as Davey Boone's Corpse in a dress getting plowed by Sexy Jason's formally Sexy mustache. However, I am required to say things like...
"The darkness will consume you for it is all powerful and the dark side of the force is wicked cool..."
Because I lost some stupid ass match to my stupid ass partner who I'd much rather watch get his ass whipped by a beer swilling red neck and his Power Puff Girl side kick than tag out for a quick breather. See, on any normal day of the week if you were to approach me in your big gruffy voice with that rather bodacious beard and tell me...
"I'm going to stomp a mud hole in Nelly Angel's ass and walk that sombitch dry because JOHHNY ROTTEN SAID SO!"
I'd be all like...
"Go for it, want me to hold him down?"
But this isn't any other day of the week, in fact it's this coming Sunday at Sovereign and we're facing you two for a tag team title shot. Now I think we all know my history with titles, One SUPER AMAZING TITLE reign that far outlasted even Captain NyQuil's (Lance Ryan) World title reign. I mean, I rocked the X-Division for like five months, beat more people in title defenses than any other champion on record and probably had one of the most talked about runs as champion in the promotions history.
Needless to say, I was born to be a champion.
And yet, there you two are holding what I personally think should be mine... Well, ours, until I find a better partner... Or get Nelly to admit he likes the way gold feels against his skin.
See the thing is guys, I LOVE being a champion, I LOVE holding a belt and rubbing that sexy looking piece of gold in some poor saps face after I damn near Diamond Cut his head off. Championship gold is why I do this, forget the women, the money, the power, I just want to be a champion. I just want the feeling of knowing your better than someone else. I really could give a rat's ass what division it's for, any belt will do, as long as it's golden and shiny and I can rub it all over my face...
And no, I don't mean the kind of golden substance Sexy Jason used to hire hookers to rub all over his face. (Pee)
Now thats where you two come in. Your the champs, your defending against us, and as much as I hate Nelly Angel and everything he stands for, I'll be damned if I'm going to just let this opportunity get away. So we're going to play nice, we're going to work together and if the only way for us to win those damn titles is to act like a couple of cracked out super villains from Batman the Animated Series then you better prepare to feel the AWESOME WRATH OF MY DEATH STAR BABY! BECAUSE I'VE GOT MY SIGHTS SET ON WORLD TAG TEAM GOLD AND I'M NOT LEAVING WITH ANYTHING LESS!
Sunday night, Evil will once again reign supreme in nCw and you will never, EVER forget the name... DOMINICUS REPUBLIC!
Now all hail the DARK LORDS!
( End feed. )