Post by The Ace on Mar 25, 2010 14:13:45 GMT -6
*The scene opens at a relatively early hour as you can deduce from the fact that the sunrise is just appearing through the open glass doors of the balcony that leads to The Ace's hotel room. Inside the room, we find that the Playstation 3 has been left on and the game on pause at the moment is a fight between Nina Williams and Panda - that's right, its Tekken 6.
We see other games scattered across the floor, most notably several from the Mortal Kombat franchise including Deadly Alliance, Deception and Armageddon. All in all this collection probably would make someone like Zelda Knite orgasmic, but surely our former National Champion isn't trying to impress her, is he?
Surely he's happily married to that woman who used to think she was a cat, and surely he's got more important things to prepare for, like his battle with a vampire on Sunday...speaking of which, where is that insufferable son of a...
*The camera pans around in answer to the unfinished question and we see that The Ace has fallen asleep, or at least he looks asleep the way he is dropped over to his left side in that chair...*
On closer inspection, we note a couple of red spots dried on the side of his neck, they're distorted as if they were dripping when fresh - OH GOD HE'S NOT!
Tell me he's not...dead? I knew sooner or later Sephiroth would snap from all the twilight jokes, if there's one thing Buffy has taught me its that you never **** with a vampire unless you're a hot and blonde and female, and I guess Meatloaf was wrong. For The Ace...two out of three was bad, very bad...and now like a bat out of hell, Seph has gone when the morniing comes...
Okay, Okay I'm rambling, I tend to do that when I'm nervous...but come on, there's a vampire running around and he's killed The Ace! I could be next, infact unless Seph only kills boring people, that's a very distinct possibility!
DEAR GOD HELP ME!
Okay, right...got to calm down and focus, I'm just the narrator. I work behind the camera, Seph has never seen me, hell The Ace hasn't even ever seen me, so Seph can't possibly kill me...right? RIGHT?
Oh why am I asking you for? You can't answer me...hmmm....gotta think, gotta be logical about this. I still get paid, that's a bonus I guess, its not my fault the guy I'm supposed to be working for ended up dead before I got here.
To be honest, this makes my job a lot easier and also his promos are a loty more enjoyable to commentate on when he's dead, don't you agree? Anyway, got to find another focus to take my mind off the horror...
*The camera moves around as if searching for that other focus. Suddenly it stops on the bed, where Kathy is in a white negligay sound asleep...*
Poor woman, probably doesn't even realise it yet. How's she going to support her children now? Who's going to tell her, she's going to be upset naturally and she's going to need consoling...hey wait a minute, this may be my chance to score with a hot chick and finally move out of my mother's house...
*A cough distracts us and the camera quickly locates its source. The Ace is stirring, and slowly he opens his eyes whilst scratching at his neck...Rats! He's alive!
The Ace rubs his neck, and the red spots vanish. My God! It's even worse, he's been turned and is now regenerating...STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!
The Ace looks down and finds a plate of half eaten raspberry jam on toast in his lap. Damn I feel silly now, nobody tell him okay? Just act natural as if it never happened...so anyway yeah...
The scene opens with The Ace happily munching on his breakfast at the crack of dawn whilst he unpauses the game and continues to kick Panda's ass. Oh so he is the hot blonde, figures...*
"PERFECT"
"YOU WIN!"
"Isn't it past your bedtime?"
Well yes actually it is...
*The Ace chuckles at his own joke before finally acknowledging the camera, and without missing a beat, The Ace gets straight down to business...*
Seph, I don't know where you've gone and quite frankly I couldn't care but if you've got any sense you'll take my advice and see a psychologist about your delusions. I have a feeling though that you're not smart enough to listen to me and whatever promo you cobble together, probably at some ungodly hour because you vampire's don't do daylight, will be the same old twoddle you've told all your opponents:
"Oh how I loathe but expect the Edward Cullen jokes"
Am I right? Well, I'll tell you what Seph, I wont even go there on you because in all honesty I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies and don't intend to either. Instead I'm just going to disrespect you for your ridiculous gimmick and be done with another promo for a week. You see Seph, as I've already said you don't belong here. In this company I mean, no, your act is more suited to X-H-F. They had a panda, a goldbear and a guy from...THE FUTURE. You would have fit right in there, infact the more I think about it, that's probably why I never did fit in there...
I'm far too grounded in reality
You don't intimidate or scare me Du Lac, provably because after you've been mauled by a giant douche in a bear suit, nothing can, and that is why I'm sat here kicking the crap out of virtual pandas because that's how much I despise your unrealism. This isn't Tekken or Mortal Kombat, you have no powers here, just take a look in the mirror and see how pathetic you are, and if you don't see a reflection...
Then, you're staring into a door you idiot!
But whatever, I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you any longer, so after I'm done 'training' for you here, I'm going to step it up a notch and watch all three Blade movies because that's how seriously I'm taking this match...
*The Ace clicks restart and goes back to beating up Panda as we fade on a promo Zelda Knite would definitely approve of...*
We see other games scattered across the floor, most notably several from the Mortal Kombat franchise including Deadly Alliance, Deception and Armageddon. All in all this collection probably would make someone like Zelda Knite orgasmic, but surely our former National Champion isn't trying to impress her, is he?
Surely he's happily married to that woman who used to think she was a cat, and surely he's got more important things to prepare for, like his battle with a vampire on Sunday...speaking of which, where is that insufferable son of a...
*The camera pans around in answer to the unfinished question and we see that The Ace has fallen asleep, or at least he looks asleep the way he is dropped over to his left side in that chair...*
On closer inspection, we note a couple of red spots dried on the side of his neck, they're distorted as if they were dripping when fresh - OH GOD HE'S NOT!
Tell me he's not...dead? I knew sooner or later Sephiroth would snap from all the twilight jokes, if there's one thing Buffy has taught me its that you never **** with a vampire unless you're a hot and blonde and female, and I guess Meatloaf was wrong. For The Ace...two out of three was bad, very bad...and now like a bat out of hell, Seph has gone when the morniing comes...
Okay, Okay I'm rambling, I tend to do that when I'm nervous...but come on, there's a vampire running around and he's killed The Ace! I could be next, infact unless Seph only kills boring people, that's a very distinct possibility!
DEAR GOD HELP ME!
Okay, right...got to calm down and focus, I'm just the narrator. I work behind the camera, Seph has never seen me, hell The Ace hasn't even ever seen me, so Seph can't possibly kill me...right? RIGHT?
Oh why am I asking you for? You can't answer me...hmmm....gotta think, gotta be logical about this. I still get paid, that's a bonus I guess, its not my fault the guy I'm supposed to be working for ended up dead before I got here.
To be honest, this makes my job a lot easier and also his promos are a loty more enjoyable to commentate on when he's dead, don't you agree? Anyway, got to find another focus to take my mind off the horror...
*The camera moves around as if searching for that other focus. Suddenly it stops on the bed, where Kathy is in a white negligay sound asleep...*
Poor woman, probably doesn't even realise it yet. How's she going to support her children now? Who's going to tell her, she's going to be upset naturally and she's going to need consoling...hey wait a minute, this may be my chance to score with a hot chick and finally move out of my mother's house...
*A cough distracts us and the camera quickly locates its source. The Ace is stirring, and slowly he opens his eyes whilst scratching at his neck...Rats! He's alive!
The Ace rubs his neck, and the red spots vanish. My God! It's even worse, he's been turned and is now regenerating...STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!
The Ace looks down and finds a plate of half eaten raspberry jam on toast in his lap. Damn I feel silly now, nobody tell him okay? Just act natural as if it never happened...so anyway yeah...
The scene opens with The Ace happily munching on his breakfast at the crack of dawn whilst he unpauses the game and continues to kick Panda's ass. Oh so he is the hot blonde, figures...*
"PERFECT"
"YOU WIN!"
"Isn't it past your bedtime?"
Well yes actually it is...
*The Ace chuckles at his own joke before finally acknowledging the camera, and without missing a beat, The Ace gets straight down to business...*
Seph, I don't know where you've gone and quite frankly I couldn't care but if you've got any sense you'll take my advice and see a psychologist about your delusions. I have a feeling though that you're not smart enough to listen to me and whatever promo you cobble together, probably at some ungodly hour because you vampire's don't do daylight, will be the same old twoddle you've told all your opponents:
"Oh how I loathe but expect the Edward Cullen jokes"
Am I right? Well, I'll tell you what Seph, I wont even go there on you because in all honesty I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies and don't intend to either. Instead I'm just going to disrespect you for your ridiculous gimmick and be done with another promo for a week. You see Seph, as I've already said you don't belong here. In this company I mean, no, your act is more suited to X-H-F. They had a panda, a goldbear and a guy from...THE FUTURE. You would have fit right in there, infact the more I think about it, that's probably why I never did fit in there...
I'm far too grounded in reality
You don't intimidate or scare me Du Lac, provably because after you've been mauled by a giant douche in a bear suit, nothing can, and that is why I'm sat here kicking the crap out of virtual pandas because that's how much I despise your unrealism. This isn't Tekken or Mortal Kombat, you have no powers here, just take a look in the mirror and see how pathetic you are, and if you don't see a reflection...
Then, you're staring into a door you idiot!
But whatever, I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you any longer, so after I'm done 'training' for you here, I'm going to step it up a notch and watch all three Blade movies because that's how seriously I'm taking this match...
*The Ace clicks restart and goes back to beating up Panda as we fade on a promo Zelda Knite would definitely approve of...*