Post by Xavier Cross on Mar 25, 2010 15:22:45 GMT -6
I give the steering wheel a gently turn, traffic is slow today so I don’t have to worry about much flow in and out. The moving truck is a lot more bulky than my average four door that I’m usually driving. A slight beam of golden sunshine rises just above the horizon, the waves of the sea crash gently on the beach.
I smile a bit, as I put the truck in park. Opening the door and gently hopping out. My arms move to opposite directions, a gentle crack from my shoulders forces a moan to escape my throat, how good it felt to stretch. The long drive from western Virginia, to the east coast of the Carolina’s is a long haul.
It doesn’t take long before the moving company pulls in behind me. I reach into my pocket, pulling out the house keys. Moving up the steps, I stop at the highest step, rotate towards the beach. The warm air hits me, and a memory floods into my mind. It had been only two months ago when I had first bought this house. It was right after Cari and I had fixed our marriage a bit more, after the Washington arc.
She was standing right here, leaning her hands on the balcony. I thought she had fallen asleep standing up she didn’t move an inch. I slowly crept up behind her, and placed my arms on the balcony. Cari slowly leaned backwards, no fear in falling because she’d know I’d catch her. We stood there for what seemed for hours, not having to say a word.
At that point we were so nervous to say something to each other. We would hang on to each other’s words so much, we may have fixed things to a point. But at this time, we weren’t ready to just be like we used to, if we fell into such graces things would just repeat themselves. I screwed up, but she knew what she did was worse.
But now, even then, it felt like decades ago. The pain she gave me back then, is a long distance scar on my heart. Replaced by the misery of missing her, of losing her. I trade one heartache for another, but even now I look upon her infidelity as only a minor scratch compared to this pain. But I weather the storm, I have to.
I slowly open the door, the men enter the house with boxes, full of foam peanuts. I don’t really care about any of the stuff in here. All stupid little furniture pieces, and accessories. I slowly move past the men, and into the third bedroom, on the left. Our bedroom.
The door slides open without a sound, everything is still the way it was when we left for the hospital that morning. The bed was still a bit messy, some of my clothes were on the ground. She hated that. I was never the most organized person, as I lean down to pick up a shirt. Giving a lazy fold to it, I open the dresser and lay it on there. I turn towards the right, seeing her dresser, a little mirror on top, her make up, jewelry, and assorted other items.
Leaning down I pick up her perfume, taking a soft smell of it. The warm vanilla scent runs up my nose, a smile rolls onto my lips. Then it all falls down, my chest gets tighter as I have to fall back on the bed to balance myself. The bottle slips from my hand and crashes on the wooden floors. I look down, seeing a glimpse of my reflection in the newly made puddle.
Pathetic.
-----
I smile a bit, as I put the truck in park. Opening the door and gently hopping out. My arms move to opposite directions, a gentle crack from my shoulders forces a moan to escape my throat, how good it felt to stretch. The long drive from western Virginia, to the east coast of the Carolina’s is a long haul.
It doesn’t take long before the moving company pulls in behind me. I reach into my pocket, pulling out the house keys. Moving up the steps, I stop at the highest step, rotate towards the beach. The warm air hits me, and a memory floods into my mind. It had been only two months ago when I had first bought this house. It was right after Cari and I had fixed our marriage a bit more, after the Washington arc.
She was standing right here, leaning her hands on the balcony. I thought she had fallen asleep standing up she didn’t move an inch. I slowly crept up behind her, and placed my arms on the balcony. Cari slowly leaned backwards, no fear in falling because she’d know I’d catch her. We stood there for what seemed for hours, not having to say a word.
At that point we were so nervous to say something to each other. We would hang on to each other’s words so much, we may have fixed things to a point. But at this time, we weren’t ready to just be like we used to, if we fell into such graces things would just repeat themselves. I screwed up, but she knew what she did was worse.
But now, even then, it felt like decades ago. The pain she gave me back then, is a long distance scar on my heart. Replaced by the misery of missing her, of losing her. I trade one heartache for another, but even now I look upon her infidelity as only a minor scratch compared to this pain. But I weather the storm, I have to.
I slowly open the door, the men enter the house with boxes, full of foam peanuts. I don’t really care about any of the stuff in here. All stupid little furniture pieces, and accessories. I slowly move past the men, and into the third bedroom, on the left. Our bedroom.
The door slides open without a sound, everything is still the way it was when we left for the hospital that morning. The bed was still a bit messy, some of my clothes were on the ground. She hated that. I was never the most organized person, as I lean down to pick up a shirt. Giving a lazy fold to it, I open the dresser and lay it on there. I turn towards the right, seeing her dresser, a little mirror on top, her make up, jewelry, and assorted other items.
Leaning down I pick up her perfume, taking a soft smell of it. The warm vanilla scent runs up my nose, a smile rolls onto my lips. Then it all falls down, my chest gets tighter as I have to fall back on the bed to balance myself. The bottle slips from my hand and crashes on the wooden floors. I look down, seeing a glimpse of my reflection in the newly made puddle.
Pathetic.
-----
"I spent so much of my life chasing dreams, chasing goals. I was able to start a family fairly young, though it seems now-a-days since kids are having kids, I started a family late. In my life, I’ve forced a lot of hardships on myself, I’ve caused more problems for myself, than anyone else has ever placed in front of me.
When a family has money, its hard not to find goals easy to conquer, with an idea of unlimited resources. It’s really a nice touch and all. Every wrestler enters the ring wanting one thing; A World Championship. I was no exception to that idea, but after fighting around you, fighting with you, against you. Our record stands one to one.
You came back from a small hiatus to kick my head in. One of the worst concussions I’ve ever had. That company, it was only a stepping stone, a learning process of sorts. The idea of a grade school situation, I was able to be stupid, and I got away with it. I was able to be an immature little weasel and still fight. But we both know n.C.w is light years ahead of where that dead federation was.
I met Cari when I still wrestled over there, I saw what a lot of wrestlers had, You had it, Hardaway had it, even that clown Ragnal ended up having it. Someone to love you, to stand by you, to put up with how stupid you are. I needed that, I needed the love of someone else, as well as the ability to love someone else. To remind me that I’m still human. So imagine Brad, imagine what it would be like to lose Megan.
I hope you never experience that. As your friend, your opponent and a man who respects you more than any other, I hope you never have to experience this kind of pain. You may be a bit angry at me, the system, or just the fact that I’ve broadcasted my sorrows, that I was able to use the camera, the audience and my matches to help me deal with my sorrow. The fact is I can’t bring this home, there are three important people counting on me to be some sort of superman, if I have to cry and break my ass every Saturday, and Sunday, I’ll do so, if it means the next morning I can go home with a smile on my face.
I never asked to be some sort of World Beater, in fact I’d trade this title, and any accomplishments that came with it, any kind of goals I’ve reached milestones I’ll make. I’d trade it all away for her. You can understand that, at least I hope by some measure you can understand that I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t want this. If God himself told me that if I walked away from wrestling forever, he’d give Cari back. I’d drop the title on your doorstep, and you’d never see me again.
I can be a prophet, like a lot of lame guys like to do, and myself, I’ve been guilty of doing it. Talking about fate, and destiny. People like to say, and think things happen for a reason. But no, I don’t believe that anymore, human kind wants to believe things are out of their hands, out of their control. While some things may just happen, because they happen that’s a part of life. However there are many things we can control, I will control my fate. The man you’re facing in the ring is no where near the one you fought back then. But I don’t need to tell you that Brad, you know. You’ve seen.
Brad, you talk about the Brett Favre streak you’ve had, or your potential lack of interest. But when will it boil, when will your blood boil and that need to compete rise up again? I’m not talking about what you went through with Spike Kane. I’m wondering if management will cut my d*** off for saying it.
You’ve become complacent with your life, you have a wonderful wife, and a great family, accomplishments as far as the eye can see. What more can you take out of this career? No one challenges you, makes you put forth the effort you used to. Reckless Jack is a level you have to go to beat demons, hell itself. But what about Brad Kane, the man who I turn to for advice, that I look up to be the kind of athlete he is. What will motivate him back to greatness?
Will beating me do that? Will fighting me do that? Will losing to me end any chance of it?
There was a time where my promos would be an endless banter of insults, pathetic third grade humor, to things that can set even the calmest gentlemen off. I never cared what others thought of me, perceived me. I was only here for one thing, and one thing only. To compete, but being by yourself can only get you so far. Maybe that is a lack of talent, or will power on my part, but I haven’t regretted the decision of making friends, falling in love, starting this family. It may give someone a bigger bullet to shoot me with, but I won’t regret a thing I’ve done, or what I’m going to do.
And what I’m going to do is beat you.
It won’t matter who you are Brad, because at the end of the day you’re just another wrestler. No matter what kind of pedestal I’ve put you on in my career. You have your strengths, and your weaknesses. I’m treating this as though it is a main event match, we both know the quality and talent is there for us to steal the show. You want this title, you know what you have to do to get it. So come get it Brad, show me that fire you used to have burning so intensely.
Little Brother might just surprise you…."
When a family has money, its hard not to find goals easy to conquer, with an idea of unlimited resources. It’s really a nice touch and all. Every wrestler enters the ring wanting one thing; A World Championship. I was no exception to that idea, but after fighting around you, fighting with you, against you. Our record stands one to one.
You came back from a small hiatus to kick my head in. One of the worst concussions I’ve ever had. That company, it was only a stepping stone, a learning process of sorts. The idea of a grade school situation, I was able to be stupid, and I got away with it. I was able to be an immature little weasel and still fight. But we both know n.C.w is light years ahead of where that dead federation was.
I met Cari when I still wrestled over there, I saw what a lot of wrestlers had, You had it, Hardaway had it, even that clown Ragnal ended up having it. Someone to love you, to stand by you, to put up with how stupid you are. I needed that, I needed the love of someone else, as well as the ability to love someone else. To remind me that I’m still human. So imagine Brad, imagine what it would be like to lose Megan.
I hope you never experience that. As your friend, your opponent and a man who respects you more than any other, I hope you never have to experience this kind of pain. You may be a bit angry at me, the system, or just the fact that I’ve broadcasted my sorrows, that I was able to use the camera, the audience and my matches to help me deal with my sorrow. The fact is I can’t bring this home, there are three important people counting on me to be some sort of superman, if I have to cry and break my ass every Saturday, and Sunday, I’ll do so, if it means the next morning I can go home with a smile on my face.
I never asked to be some sort of World Beater, in fact I’d trade this title, and any accomplishments that came with it, any kind of goals I’ve reached milestones I’ll make. I’d trade it all away for her. You can understand that, at least I hope by some measure you can understand that I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t want this. If God himself told me that if I walked away from wrestling forever, he’d give Cari back. I’d drop the title on your doorstep, and you’d never see me again.
I can be a prophet, like a lot of lame guys like to do, and myself, I’ve been guilty of doing it. Talking about fate, and destiny. People like to say, and think things happen for a reason. But no, I don’t believe that anymore, human kind wants to believe things are out of their hands, out of their control. While some things may just happen, because they happen that’s a part of life. However there are many things we can control, I will control my fate. The man you’re facing in the ring is no where near the one you fought back then. But I don’t need to tell you that Brad, you know. You’ve seen.
Brad, you talk about the Brett Favre streak you’ve had, or your potential lack of interest. But when will it boil, when will your blood boil and that need to compete rise up again? I’m not talking about what you went through with Spike Kane. I’m wondering if management will cut my d*** off for saying it.
You’ve become complacent with your life, you have a wonderful wife, and a great family, accomplishments as far as the eye can see. What more can you take out of this career? No one challenges you, makes you put forth the effort you used to. Reckless Jack is a level you have to go to beat demons, hell itself. But what about Brad Kane, the man who I turn to for advice, that I look up to be the kind of athlete he is. What will motivate him back to greatness?
Will beating me do that? Will fighting me do that? Will losing to me end any chance of it?
There was a time where my promos would be an endless banter of insults, pathetic third grade humor, to things that can set even the calmest gentlemen off. I never cared what others thought of me, perceived me. I was only here for one thing, and one thing only. To compete, but being by yourself can only get you so far. Maybe that is a lack of talent, or will power on my part, but I haven’t regretted the decision of making friends, falling in love, starting this family. It may give someone a bigger bullet to shoot me with, but I won’t regret a thing I’ve done, or what I’m going to do.
And what I’m going to do is beat you.
It won’t matter who you are Brad, because at the end of the day you’re just another wrestler. No matter what kind of pedestal I’ve put you on in my career. You have your strengths, and your weaknesses. I’m treating this as though it is a main event match, we both know the quality and talent is there for us to steal the show. You want this title, you know what you have to do to get it. So come get it Brad, show me that fire you used to have burning so intensely.
Little Brother might just surprise you…."