Post by Will Washington on Mar 27, 2010 19:33:37 GMT -6
Another promo opens up with young William Washington standing in front of an American flag that encompasses an entire wall. With his hands on his hips, he looks off into the distance while sporting the latest suit straight from Italy, as you should be accustomed to by now. As the camera pans in, he turns his head slightly to look into the homes of the loyal nCw viewers. He let’s out a yawn and stretches his arms wildly before speaking.
“Jesus H. Christ! Did you stop talking yet Ricky? I was watching your promo, but I fell asleep 14 minutes in to the press conference, so I missed most of it. As I’m sure the rest of America did. Honestly…how much creativity does it take to see a disgraced golfer’s ‘I cheated on my wife’ press conference and decide ‘Hey! That’s relevant to the Coliseum match! I’ll do that too!’? Do us a favor and kill yourself. What’s next? You’re going to marry a Kardashian or have eight babies? Just because you get the E! Network at your house, doesn’t mean that you have copy what you see the celebrities do. What’s even better though, is that you seem to steal material for your promos too. You called me boring….hmm….where have I heard that before? Maybe last Sunday in the Collision main event from Rob Diamond on commentary perhaps? You must have not remembered what happened in that match due to the Attitude Injection Paul Star put you down with to win the match. So you went back, re-watched it just to see how you lost the match for your team, and noticed that Rob Diamond has three hundred and fifty times the charisma that you do. Oh you’re creative Ricky. Then, if memory serves, I said that same thing about Andrew Jacobsen, but in much more elegant terms. My god Ricky, you think with all the nCw T.V. you must watch, you’d actually know something about the guys you’re facing.”[/color]
Will can’t believe the lack of knowledge Ricky has displayed as of late. He ponders how anyone could head into such a match with a complete lack of awareness to his surroundings. True fact: Stupidity is the leading cause of death for wrestlers named Ricky in America. Will fades off into his own mind before realizing that he’s still on camera. No need to waste valuable airtime like the rest of these losers.
“Is there anything more annoying than someone trying to predict what someone else is going to say.? I’ll make the same prediction right now. In Ricky Johnson’s next RP, he’ll apologize to his wife yet again, try and insult me, and no one will listen. Sound good Rick? You were definitely right about one thing though: I will not accept your apology for your assumptions about me. There’s no forgiveness for the ignorant in this society. You see the word ‘Patriot’ and you automatically assume that I’m a pick-up driving, liberal hating, conservative douche bag? How much research did you actually do for this match Ricky? Instead of worrying about your ridiculous wife drama, you should have spent the time learning who you were facing and training for that. You overconfidence is hilarious, and it will be your downfall. I started out this week thinking you were the second most dangerous man in the match, which is the reason I saved you for last. Now I realize that I greatly overrated your focus and ability. At least the Infamous boys know what they’re up against. You’re too wrapped up in your little fantasy world to realize you’re the weakest one in the match.”[/color]
He remains focused on the current task at hand, the verbal lobotomy of Ricky Johnson. The man who needs no gimmick and has no hope. The perennial second place finisher. Will takes great delight in verbally destroying him, and cutting his own personal hype into a million pieces. Time for some more truth…
“I’ll be honest with you Ricky. You’re the most successful wrestler out of everyone in the match. You’ve held just about every title possible in nCw. Just about every title, save for one. Remind me which one that is again? Oh yeah! The nCw World Title! The one title that matters more than anything else in this entire business, and it’s the one that’s always eluded you. Sunday, the Coliseum, it’s your chance to grab the ring and earn yourself another Number One Contendership. You can finally take the final belt that you’ve never gotten, you can reach the seemingly unreachable dream. However, if you knew anything about me, you’d know that I’m the killer of dreams. You might think that this is just a stepping stone to a World Title shot against Angel or Homeless Harold, but it’s much more than that. This is the big hurdle at the end of the race. The one that has the bottomless pit of death right behind it. That’s what you’re up against. You get too confident, and you’re going right into that pit. You have to run the perfect race, wrestle the perfect match if you want to get past it. And just when you think you’ve cleared the last hurdle, leaped over the pit of death… a single hand will reach up and pull you down into the abyss. No, it won’t be my hand, I’ll be the one passing you by. The obstruction to your greatest victory will be none other than your dear wife Roxi. The unfocused hand can cause the deadliest of injuries. Unfortunately the injuries won’t be to any of the rest of us, they will be your own. You’re so focused on your personal life that you don’t realize the gravity of all this. I’m not going to make assumptions that you’re taking this match too likely. I don’t assume, I know it. Like I said, your three hour long promo you made the other day, could have been three more hours spent in preparation. You’ve had the most storied career, yet you’re probably the least prepared now. I assumed that would be Paul Star, but you’re going to make him look like a hardcore legend out there. Remember what I said about assumptions? They make you look like an idiot. Now I feel like an idiot for assuming you’d be my ultimate challenge. And for that, I apologize to you. I apologize for giving you a chance. You were eliminated before it even started.”[/color]
Will unbuttons his jacket and runs his hands through his hair. Seemingly agitated, he rips off his suit jacket quickly and throws it on the ground. He quickly rolls up sleeves up and loosens his tie. With one swift motion he turns around and punches the flag adorned wall and whips back around. With a fire red anger clouding his face, he needs to get something slightly more serious off his chest.
“You already shut the coffin door on yourself, but then you had to go and nail it shut. How could you not think that I’d be insulted by you basing your latest borefest in Iraq? You didn’t see that as the biggest kick in the balls humanly possible? You do realize that I spent two years of my god d*mn life over there fighting in those sandy deserts that you use as some sort of case and point metaphor? You smug son of a b*tch. Ricky…you can’t even begin to understand the amount of pure and unbridled fury you’ve got coming your way after that little charade. Not only do you face the wrath of this soldier, but thousands more who are insulted by your lack of tact. This isn’t even a ‘butt hurt’ situation. This is a ‘so mad I might actually break bones on purpose’ situation. Come Sunday, you’re going to be locked in a cage with a infantry of p*ssed off soldiers, in the form of one man. Their anger will pass through me and with each move you’re going to feel that full impact. Sure you can use the war in Iraq as a twisted metaphor for Sovereign, but remember…I lived that. So if that’s your point, I guess I’ve got a huge advantage. I’ve survived horrors much worse than the Coliseum. I know what I’m ready for, do you? You don‘t want my respect? Good, because I don’t respect people who commit suicide. And that’s what you just did. See you Sunday Rick. I’d say good luck, but it’s much too late for that now.”[/color]
Ricky should now know what to look forward to in the Coliseum…pain and suffering. Enough wasting time on that blowhard. Now it’s time to finish up things with a couple of the other wrestlers who have already been addressed, just so there’s no mystery going into Sunday. Will gathers his composure and straightens out his sleeves. Normally he doesn’t let anyone get under his skin, but Ricky went too far. Thankfully there’s a better bit of information to put out into the world. Will feels a little guilty about something he said earlier in the week. It’s Andrew Jacobsen time!
“Now that I’ve talked about everyone in the match at least once, and they’ve had their opportunities to disrespect me all they want, I need to re-address an issue between Andrew Jacobsen and myself. One of honor and an assumed lack of realistic thinking. You see, in case you missed it, in Andrew’s first promo, he took it upon himself to declare himself not only the winner of the Coliseum, but also of the nCw Championship at A Night To Remember. Anyone with two testicles and a brain would see that as a brash and overconfident statement. A statement that would naturally cause anyone to become infuriated that the new guy thinks he can waltz right in and win that easily. Now I see it for what it truly was: a young guy trying to get himself hyped up enough to enter such a demonic match. You were just boosting your own confidence Jacobsen, not tooting your own horn and singing your own praises. I understand that now. I apologize to you, as a man for thinking that you were developing a *sshole edge like the guys from Infamous. Like Richard Johnson, I too learned about the consequences involved with being presumptuous. In your eyes I’m no better than Kristoff Liam Bates now, and that’s truly not what I wanted to happen. I’m so much better than that pathetic nerd, it’s unbelievable. I’ve always seem you as one of the guys in this company that can bring us into the future, and we’d have an amicable relationship, possibly even friends. So Andrew, I apologize again for what I said about you growing a cocky bone, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to beat you this week. I’ll go to whatever lengths it takes to come out on top, and if the aforementioned face ripping comes into play, so be it. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you either. I would advise you once again however….leave the comedy for somebody else. Your latest ‘hilarious’ segment wasn’t even creative or funny enough to get on Leno, and that show is god awful.”[/color]
The fact that Jay Leno is even still on TV is a mystery to him. A lot like Andrew Jacobsen in fact. Who greenlit that pathetic excuse for comedy? Brent Sampson? No way he’d be dumb enough to let that air on T.V. Eh, let’s just assume it slipped by the creative geniuses of nCw, and they agreed to it without actually watching it. They’re a busy group.
“I’ve spent this entire week talking about, and readying myself for the opponents that are set forth in my path of destruction this weekend, and I’ve yet to mention my greatest opposition of all. You might be familiar with him. His name is Will Washington, the ‘Patriotic Punisher.’ All these other gentlemen, they make for a substantial roadblock indeed, but no one can stand in my way more than I can. There are choices and opportunities that are put forth in front of you each and every day, with two viable options. At Sovereign, I face such a difficult decision, one that I’ve lost much sleep over. Walking into such a dangerous environment, it’s only obvious that I’d want to be at my most intense, destructive mindset. That’s going to be a problem. Do I want to bring out the ‘Ultimate Killing Machine’ that I used to be? Do I want to unleash that monster again? Sure I’ve still got a lot of that ruining through my veins, but compared to what I was at one point, this is tame. I’m a controlled fury right now and if I let that viciousness loose, who knows if I could ever control it again? It’s a calculated risk that I’m weighing, my mind is racing. Is becoming number one contender worth the chance that I could potentially revert to my old ways of not caring about anyone or anything? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how it goes once I enter the cage. Truth be told maybe it’s not much of a choice after all. Things can happen in the heat of battle that you can never be prepared for. This is one of those times. The site of blood pouring from Jimmy Zane’s forehead might be enough to set me off. Maybe seeing Paul Star being choked out by a Kristoff Bates Triangle Choke will be what it takes to engage my rage. The only thing that’s certain is that if the situation arises…nothing will be certain. Chances are this match will not only change careers, but lives as well. All things considered I’m looking forward to it. Can you say the same thing boys? Really?”[/color]
Our favorite patriot shakes his head and mouths the word ‘no’ answering his own hypothetical question. He prepares to end another brilliant promo. Time to wrap everything up and put the bow on top. It’s been a long, anxious week leading up to the huge match, and as the time approaches, he decides to summarize the events as only he can.
“And now the time has come for the talking to end. Enough has been said and lines have been crossed. Jacobsen goofed around in Florida, Bates prepared to get an *ss whipping. Ricky bored us to death with talk about cheating on his wife, and Zane pathetically attempted to kill his own father. I stayed relatively focused on the Coliseum Match, and Paul Star did….something. None of that matters anymore, that was all for show. In twenty-four hours we all step into what for most of us is the biggest match of our career up to this point. This is the make or break match, one will be made, five broken. This might as well be a giant casket to bury the men who aren’t victorious. If this were any other night and you had any other opponent, truthfully any one of these guys could win. Sadly for them, the reality they’re facing is that no matter what, they’ve got one factor working against them. You’re up against me this weekend. I will move faster, hit harder, come stronger. I will be UNSTOPPABLE!….As long as I can stay out of my own way.”[/color]
It’s been an intense week for all those involved with trash talking galore. The former soldier decides to take a more light-hearted approach to the end of this final promotional opportunity. If Ricky can rip off popular culture, anybody can. Washington decides to finish this off on a high note.
“I need my fellow Coliseum Qualifiers to do me a favor. Look to your left…..Now look back at me.”[/color]
In his hand Will now holds a card with the words ‘Your Chances’ written on it.
“In my hand I hold the visual representation of your chances of winning the Coliseum match.”[/color]
The card in his hand suddenly (With the help of technology) transforms into a handful of precious stones.
“Your chances of winning the Coliseum are now…diamonds!”[/color]
Will holds the diamonds in his hand with a big smile on his face for a moment before letting them fall out of his hand.
“See you Sunday. Bring your god. You’ve been warned.”[/color]
Will walks out of frame and we zoom down on the diamonds scattered about his jacket before fading into the dark abyss.
“Jesus H. Christ! Did you stop talking yet Ricky? I was watching your promo, but I fell asleep 14 minutes in to the press conference, so I missed most of it. As I’m sure the rest of America did. Honestly…how much creativity does it take to see a disgraced golfer’s ‘I cheated on my wife’ press conference and decide ‘Hey! That’s relevant to the Coliseum match! I’ll do that too!’? Do us a favor and kill yourself. What’s next? You’re going to marry a Kardashian or have eight babies? Just because you get the E! Network at your house, doesn’t mean that you have copy what you see the celebrities do. What’s even better though, is that you seem to steal material for your promos too. You called me boring….hmm….where have I heard that before? Maybe last Sunday in the Collision main event from Rob Diamond on commentary perhaps? You must have not remembered what happened in that match due to the Attitude Injection Paul Star put you down with to win the match. So you went back, re-watched it just to see how you lost the match for your team, and noticed that Rob Diamond has three hundred and fifty times the charisma that you do. Oh you’re creative Ricky. Then, if memory serves, I said that same thing about Andrew Jacobsen, but in much more elegant terms. My god Ricky, you think with all the nCw T.V. you must watch, you’d actually know something about the guys you’re facing.”[/color]
Will can’t believe the lack of knowledge Ricky has displayed as of late. He ponders how anyone could head into such a match with a complete lack of awareness to his surroundings. True fact: Stupidity is the leading cause of death for wrestlers named Ricky in America. Will fades off into his own mind before realizing that he’s still on camera. No need to waste valuable airtime like the rest of these losers.
“Is there anything more annoying than someone trying to predict what someone else is going to say.? I’ll make the same prediction right now. In Ricky Johnson’s next RP, he’ll apologize to his wife yet again, try and insult me, and no one will listen. Sound good Rick? You were definitely right about one thing though: I will not accept your apology for your assumptions about me. There’s no forgiveness for the ignorant in this society. You see the word ‘Patriot’ and you automatically assume that I’m a pick-up driving, liberal hating, conservative douche bag? How much research did you actually do for this match Ricky? Instead of worrying about your ridiculous wife drama, you should have spent the time learning who you were facing and training for that. You overconfidence is hilarious, and it will be your downfall. I started out this week thinking you were the second most dangerous man in the match, which is the reason I saved you for last. Now I realize that I greatly overrated your focus and ability. At least the Infamous boys know what they’re up against. You’re too wrapped up in your little fantasy world to realize you’re the weakest one in the match.”[/color]
He remains focused on the current task at hand, the verbal lobotomy of Ricky Johnson. The man who needs no gimmick and has no hope. The perennial second place finisher. Will takes great delight in verbally destroying him, and cutting his own personal hype into a million pieces. Time for some more truth…
“I’ll be honest with you Ricky. You’re the most successful wrestler out of everyone in the match. You’ve held just about every title possible in nCw. Just about every title, save for one. Remind me which one that is again? Oh yeah! The nCw World Title! The one title that matters more than anything else in this entire business, and it’s the one that’s always eluded you. Sunday, the Coliseum, it’s your chance to grab the ring and earn yourself another Number One Contendership. You can finally take the final belt that you’ve never gotten, you can reach the seemingly unreachable dream. However, if you knew anything about me, you’d know that I’m the killer of dreams. You might think that this is just a stepping stone to a World Title shot against Angel or Homeless Harold, but it’s much more than that. This is the big hurdle at the end of the race. The one that has the bottomless pit of death right behind it. That’s what you’re up against. You get too confident, and you’re going right into that pit. You have to run the perfect race, wrestle the perfect match if you want to get past it. And just when you think you’ve cleared the last hurdle, leaped over the pit of death… a single hand will reach up and pull you down into the abyss. No, it won’t be my hand, I’ll be the one passing you by. The obstruction to your greatest victory will be none other than your dear wife Roxi. The unfocused hand can cause the deadliest of injuries. Unfortunately the injuries won’t be to any of the rest of us, they will be your own. You’re so focused on your personal life that you don’t realize the gravity of all this. I’m not going to make assumptions that you’re taking this match too likely. I don’t assume, I know it. Like I said, your three hour long promo you made the other day, could have been three more hours spent in preparation. You’ve had the most storied career, yet you’re probably the least prepared now. I assumed that would be Paul Star, but you’re going to make him look like a hardcore legend out there. Remember what I said about assumptions? They make you look like an idiot. Now I feel like an idiot for assuming you’d be my ultimate challenge. And for that, I apologize to you. I apologize for giving you a chance. You were eliminated before it even started.”[/color]
Will unbuttons his jacket and runs his hands through his hair. Seemingly agitated, he rips off his suit jacket quickly and throws it on the ground. He quickly rolls up sleeves up and loosens his tie. With one swift motion he turns around and punches the flag adorned wall and whips back around. With a fire red anger clouding his face, he needs to get something slightly more serious off his chest.
“You already shut the coffin door on yourself, but then you had to go and nail it shut. How could you not think that I’d be insulted by you basing your latest borefest in Iraq? You didn’t see that as the biggest kick in the balls humanly possible? You do realize that I spent two years of my god d*mn life over there fighting in those sandy deserts that you use as some sort of case and point metaphor? You smug son of a b*tch. Ricky…you can’t even begin to understand the amount of pure and unbridled fury you’ve got coming your way after that little charade. Not only do you face the wrath of this soldier, but thousands more who are insulted by your lack of tact. This isn’t even a ‘butt hurt’ situation. This is a ‘so mad I might actually break bones on purpose’ situation. Come Sunday, you’re going to be locked in a cage with a infantry of p*ssed off soldiers, in the form of one man. Their anger will pass through me and with each move you’re going to feel that full impact. Sure you can use the war in Iraq as a twisted metaphor for Sovereign, but remember…I lived that. So if that’s your point, I guess I’ve got a huge advantage. I’ve survived horrors much worse than the Coliseum. I know what I’m ready for, do you? You don‘t want my respect? Good, because I don’t respect people who commit suicide. And that’s what you just did. See you Sunday Rick. I’d say good luck, but it’s much too late for that now.”[/color]
Ricky should now know what to look forward to in the Coliseum…pain and suffering. Enough wasting time on that blowhard. Now it’s time to finish up things with a couple of the other wrestlers who have already been addressed, just so there’s no mystery going into Sunday. Will gathers his composure and straightens out his sleeves. Normally he doesn’t let anyone get under his skin, but Ricky went too far. Thankfully there’s a better bit of information to put out into the world. Will feels a little guilty about something he said earlier in the week. It’s Andrew Jacobsen time!
“Now that I’ve talked about everyone in the match at least once, and they’ve had their opportunities to disrespect me all they want, I need to re-address an issue between Andrew Jacobsen and myself. One of honor and an assumed lack of realistic thinking. You see, in case you missed it, in Andrew’s first promo, he took it upon himself to declare himself not only the winner of the Coliseum, but also of the nCw Championship at A Night To Remember. Anyone with two testicles and a brain would see that as a brash and overconfident statement. A statement that would naturally cause anyone to become infuriated that the new guy thinks he can waltz right in and win that easily. Now I see it for what it truly was: a young guy trying to get himself hyped up enough to enter such a demonic match. You were just boosting your own confidence Jacobsen, not tooting your own horn and singing your own praises. I understand that now. I apologize to you, as a man for thinking that you were developing a *sshole edge like the guys from Infamous. Like Richard Johnson, I too learned about the consequences involved with being presumptuous. In your eyes I’m no better than Kristoff Liam Bates now, and that’s truly not what I wanted to happen. I’m so much better than that pathetic nerd, it’s unbelievable. I’ve always seem you as one of the guys in this company that can bring us into the future, and we’d have an amicable relationship, possibly even friends. So Andrew, I apologize again for what I said about you growing a cocky bone, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to beat you this week. I’ll go to whatever lengths it takes to come out on top, and if the aforementioned face ripping comes into play, so be it. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you either. I would advise you once again however….leave the comedy for somebody else. Your latest ‘hilarious’ segment wasn’t even creative or funny enough to get on Leno, and that show is god awful.”[/color]
The fact that Jay Leno is even still on TV is a mystery to him. A lot like Andrew Jacobsen in fact. Who greenlit that pathetic excuse for comedy? Brent Sampson? No way he’d be dumb enough to let that air on T.V. Eh, let’s just assume it slipped by the creative geniuses of nCw, and they agreed to it without actually watching it. They’re a busy group.
“I’ve spent this entire week talking about, and readying myself for the opponents that are set forth in my path of destruction this weekend, and I’ve yet to mention my greatest opposition of all. You might be familiar with him. His name is Will Washington, the ‘Patriotic Punisher.’ All these other gentlemen, they make for a substantial roadblock indeed, but no one can stand in my way more than I can. There are choices and opportunities that are put forth in front of you each and every day, with two viable options. At Sovereign, I face such a difficult decision, one that I’ve lost much sleep over. Walking into such a dangerous environment, it’s only obvious that I’d want to be at my most intense, destructive mindset. That’s going to be a problem. Do I want to bring out the ‘Ultimate Killing Machine’ that I used to be? Do I want to unleash that monster again? Sure I’ve still got a lot of that ruining through my veins, but compared to what I was at one point, this is tame. I’m a controlled fury right now and if I let that viciousness loose, who knows if I could ever control it again? It’s a calculated risk that I’m weighing, my mind is racing. Is becoming number one contender worth the chance that I could potentially revert to my old ways of not caring about anyone or anything? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how it goes once I enter the cage. Truth be told maybe it’s not much of a choice after all. Things can happen in the heat of battle that you can never be prepared for. This is one of those times. The site of blood pouring from Jimmy Zane’s forehead might be enough to set me off. Maybe seeing Paul Star being choked out by a Kristoff Bates Triangle Choke will be what it takes to engage my rage. The only thing that’s certain is that if the situation arises…nothing will be certain. Chances are this match will not only change careers, but lives as well. All things considered I’m looking forward to it. Can you say the same thing boys? Really?”[/color]
Our favorite patriot shakes his head and mouths the word ‘no’ answering his own hypothetical question. He prepares to end another brilliant promo. Time to wrap everything up and put the bow on top. It’s been a long, anxious week leading up to the huge match, and as the time approaches, he decides to summarize the events as only he can.
“And now the time has come for the talking to end. Enough has been said and lines have been crossed. Jacobsen goofed around in Florida, Bates prepared to get an *ss whipping. Ricky bored us to death with talk about cheating on his wife, and Zane pathetically attempted to kill his own father. I stayed relatively focused on the Coliseum Match, and Paul Star did….something. None of that matters anymore, that was all for show. In twenty-four hours we all step into what for most of us is the biggest match of our career up to this point. This is the make or break match, one will be made, five broken. This might as well be a giant casket to bury the men who aren’t victorious. If this were any other night and you had any other opponent, truthfully any one of these guys could win. Sadly for them, the reality they’re facing is that no matter what, they’ve got one factor working against them. You’re up against me this weekend. I will move faster, hit harder, come stronger. I will be UNSTOPPABLE!….As long as I can stay out of my own way.”[/color]
It’s been an intense week for all those involved with trash talking galore. The former soldier decides to take a more light-hearted approach to the end of this final promotional opportunity. If Ricky can rip off popular culture, anybody can. Washington decides to finish this off on a high note.
“I need my fellow Coliseum Qualifiers to do me a favor. Look to your left…..Now look back at me.”[/color]
In his hand Will now holds a card with the words ‘Your Chances’ written on it.
“In my hand I hold the visual representation of your chances of winning the Coliseum match.”[/color]
The card in his hand suddenly (With the help of technology) transforms into a handful of precious stones.
“Your chances of winning the Coliseum are now…diamonds!”[/color]
Will holds the diamonds in his hand with a big smile on his face for a moment before letting them fall out of his hand.
“See you Sunday. Bring your god. You’ve been warned.”[/color]
Will walks out of frame and we zoom down on the diamonds scattered about his jacket before fading into the dark abyss.