Post by Ayla St. James on Mar 28, 2010 2:11:40 GMT -6
"I know I'm supposed to be the bitch. I'm supposed to come out here, shake my ass, and tell all these other chicks that I'm the best at what I do, and they will all just be second fiddle as long as I'm around. At least, that's what I'm supposed to do."
(Pause.)
"Just not sure I want to do that anymore."
(Le Sigh.)
"For the first time in my life I'm at a fork and I don't know which way to turn. On one hand, I want that womans title. I can't almost taste the sweet nectar of success. I can feel the coldness of the metal on my lips as I imagine myself kissing the title after I win it. But on the other hand, I have to ask myself...
Do I really want it?
I mean, do I really want it in the face of taking it away from the one person who befriended me with no questions asked? She wants this title, she deserves this title, as well as all the respect and admiration that goes with it. Why does this happen to me? Why do all my desires conflict with everyone elses? I wanted to leave Canada to start this career, and in the process derailed Glens life as well. I want to win this title, yet doing so would keep it out of Cleos hands. So as you can see.. I'm torn...
Between having what I want..
And the happiness of my friend.
Should I just help her? Do nothing to stop her from winning? Be the distraction that allows her to climb up and get the title? Would she still respect me if I did? She said stay out of the way, she didn't say not to try and win. So in reality I don't know. Do I be the selfish bitch? Or the selfless friend? What would any of you do?"
(Another Pause.)
"But moving along. I wanted to say that I respect Zelda Knite, even though she never even returned one of my phone calls.. even just to tell me to stop calling. I respect her as an athlete, even though it stings a bit of my pride to admit that. I respect her for standing up for her principles and standing up to someone who holds supreme power over her. I respect her for that, even though had it been me I would have dropped my clothes in a heartbeat to be a part of nCw Magazine. Maybe I'm the weird one for not having the slightest inhibition about showing my girls to the world, but it's just the way I've always been. But I still stand behind our Women's Champion for doing what she did. Even if I want to see that title stripped from her and that smug little grin wiped off her face. Maybe I am just a bitter bitch? I have no idea. Zelda had a good run, represented us well, but now it's time for the Goddess to take her rightful place, and if not her.. then her servant. So sorry Z, but it had to end sooner or later."
(You guessed it. Pause.)
"And then there's Roxi. The woman I used to admire, a woman who I thought deserved the world and then some, and then she showed me that she is everything a woman shouldn't be. Emotionally wrecked and thereby weak. Completely without thought of repercussion or a rational thinking before her emotive response. Ricky smells of perfume, so he's automatically cheating. You just run away, don't ask questions, don't listen for answers, you assume you know all, and that makes each and every single woman look bad. And of course, it turned out you were wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. You said a lot of mean and hateful things based on something you assumed was true. And you wonder why men consider us the weaker sex. But, I don't care. You can put on this facade about being 'hurt', but you weren't hurt. You never were. You're just making excuses for your bad behavior. I no longer find you as majestic as I once did. So, let me tell you something. I intend to make sure that no matter who walks out the Women's Champion...
It isn't you.
Final story..."
(A door opens, or sounds like it, since it's just noise.)
"Ayla? Are you recording?"
"Finishing up. What's up?"
" The front office called while you were in Greece. Leonard wants you to see you. But it's late now, so it'll have to wait until we're at the show. "
"Ok, thanks for the heads up."
"You're... not ok, are you?"
" No.... but I will be. "
(Pause.)
"Just not sure I want to do that anymore."
(Le Sigh.)
"For the first time in my life I'm at a fork and I don't know which way to turn. On one hand, I want that womans title. I can't almost taste the sweet nectar of success. I can feel the coldness of the metal on my lips as I imagine myself kissing the title after I win it. But on the other hand, I have to ask myself...
Do I really want it?
I mean, do I really want it in the face of taking it away from the one person who befriended me with no questions asked? She wants this title, she deserves this title, as well as all the respect and admiration that goes with it. Why does this happen to me? Why do all my desires conflict with everyone elses? I wanted to leave Canada to start this career, and in the process derailed Glens life as well. I want to win this title, yet doing so would keep it out of Cleos hands. So as you can see.. I'm torn...
Between having what I want..
And the happiness of my friend.
Should I just help her? Do nothing to stop her from winning? Be the distraction that allows her to climb up and get the title? Would she still respect me if I did? She said stay out of the way, she didn't say not to try and win. So in reality I don't know. Do I be the selfish bitch? Or the selfless friend? What would any of you do?"
(Another Pause.)
"But moving along. I wanted to say that I respect Zelda Knite, even though she never even returned one of my phone calls.. even just to tell me to stop calling. I respect her as an athlete, even though it stings a bit of my pride to admit that. I respect her for standing up for her principles and standing up to someone who holds supreme power over her. I respect her for that, even though had it been me I would have dropped my clothes in a heartbeat to be a part of nCw Magazine. Maybe I'm the weird one for not having the slightest inhibition about showing my girls to the world, but it's just the way I've always been. But I still stand behind our Women's Champion for doing what she did. Even if I want to see that title stripped from her and that smug little grin wiped off her face. Maybe I am just a bitter bitch? I have no idea. Zelda had a good run, represented us well, but now it's time for the Goddess to take her rightful place, and if not her.. then her servant. So sorry Z, but it had to end sooner or later."
(You guessed it. Pause.)
"And then there's Roxi. The woman I used to admire, a woman who I thought deserved the world and then some, and then she showed me that she is everything a woman shouldn't be. Emotionally wrecked and thereby weak. Completely without thought of repercussion or a rational thinking before her emotive response. Ricky smells of perfume, so he's automatically cheating. You just run away, don't ask questions, don't listen for answers, you assume you know all, and that makes each and every single woman look bad. And of course, it turned out you were wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. You said a lot of mean and hateful things based on something you assumed was true. And you wonder why men consider us the weaker sex. But, I don't care. You can put on this facade about being 'hurt', but you weren't hurt. You never were. You're just making excuses for your bad behavior. I no longer find you as majestic as I once did. So, let me tell you something. I intend to make sure that no matter who walks out the Women's Champion...
It isn't you.
Final story..."
(A door opens, or sounds like it, since it's just noise.)
"Ayla? Are you recording?"
"Finishing up. What's up?"
" The front office called while you were in Greece. Leonard wants you to see you. But it's late now, so it'll have to wait until we're at the show. "
"Ok, thanks for the heads up."
"You're... not ok, are you?"
" No.... but I will be. "