Post by Conejo Esponjoso on Apr 1, 2010 14:02:25 GMT -6
The scene opens in a small room, lit by a single bulb which hangs from the ceiling out of the cameras view. The walls and floor are made up of wood paneling, painted black and red. Stuck on the walls are pictures of people cut out of magazines. There's a few movie villains such as Darth Vader, Freddy Krueger, and even Dr. Evil. Amongst the movie villain pictures are some of Mexican wrestling bad guys, otherwise known as Rudos. Against the back wall of the room is a two seater sofa, and a mini fridge by one side of the sofa.
The camera suddenly spins around violently as a clattering noise is heard from behind it. The cameras focus settles on a wooden door. Before the door opens, we are able to catch sight of a dart board hanging from the door with a picture of Jason Blair pinned on the front of it. Blair has a dart through his cheek, and one through his chin. The third dart is stuck in the door, just above the dart board. A clicking noise comes from the door, and then it swings open into the room. The slightly rotund figure of Conejo Esponjoso steps into the room. He grabs the side of the door and swings it shut.
" What a day. I need a beer. "
Conejo turns and catches sight of the camera. He's taken aback by its presence in the room, not that we can tell this from behind his mask.
" Oh my God! I mean... I wasn't expecting you to be here already. Welcome to this, Conejo's shed of doom! The shed of doom is where I come to hatch out all my evil plans, and it's also the place I come to unwind after a hard day of scaring people and causing pain. You know the kind of thing. Anyway, I'm glad you are here already. Let me get a beer, then we can begin. "
Conejo makes his way over to the mini fridge. He bends over and pulls the fridge door open, revealing that it's full of cans of beer, and nothing else. Conejo grabs a can, the taps the door shut with his foot. He sidesteps in front of the sofa, and sits down on it. He sinks down into the sofa slightly, then wriggles until he finds his preferred seating position. Conejo doesn't look at the camera again just yet. He's more interested in his beer. He lifts the ring pull, and the beer fizzes, with some bubbles rising out of the hole in that is now in the top of the can. Conejo goes to drink the beer normally, it just spills down his mask and onto his lap. Conejo's eyes tell us he's annoyed yet feeling a bit foolish at the same time.
" Oh, that's just great! I forgot about my mask, and now I look like I wet myself... "
Conejo puts the beer to one side, on top of the mini fridge which happens to be at just the right height to use as a side table. He now turns his attention to the camera.
" Forget the beer for now. I'll have it after you have gone. I didn't ask you here just to watch me drink beer anyway. I wanted you here so I could talk about my first match in NCW. When NCW signed Conejo, they were setting the ball rolling for what will soon be known as the stuff of nightmares. Now that I have a debut match, the ball is about to start gaining pace. I am here for one reason and one reason only. I'm here to cause pain and suffering to every wrestler I face. You see, I'm one evil son of a gun. I'm also a lucky son of a gun, as in my debut match I get to cause two people pain. I get two bubs for the price of one! "
I'm sure if we could see Conejo's face, he'd be wearing a sick smile. We can't see it though, so we can only assume the smile is there.
" First up we've got Johnathan Bishop, who I'm going to call John just because I can. I have no idea who John is, but I do know a few things about him which I read on the Internet... Yes, even someone as evil and twisted as I am goes on the Net from time to time. I download music, and I don't pay for it! I can do that you see, because I'm evil. Back to John though, and what I've found out about him from the Internet. I know that he signed a contract with NCW around the same time as me, and this weeks match is his NCW debut match as well. Apart from that, all I know is that John looks like a cue ball. By the end of our match, his head will look more like a tomato than a cue ball, because I'm going to make him bleed from it. "
Conejo nods his head slowly, in agreement with his own words.
" Oh, that's right bub! You're going to bleed, and I'm going to be the man who cuts you deep. This isn't going to be a flesh wound. If I have to, I'll expose skull! Then we can call you bone head, instead of cue ball. "
Conejo chuckles to himself, even though what he said wasn't funny. Conejo suddenly stops chuckling, and stares at the camera.
" My second opponent, I know more about. He's Jason Blair, and he's about as clever as that pathetic excuse for a wrestler he used to manage. Blair seems to think I'm a joke... Wrong! I'll tell you a good joke. What's Mary short for? She's got no legs! "
Conejo cracks up laughing. At least half a minute passes with Conejo just sitting there, laughing at the terrible joke he just told. He manages to get the laughter under control in the end though.
" I love that joke. It'll always make me laugh, and will never get boring. Blair on the other hand, is the most boring wrestler I've ever seen or heard. He makes me laugh because he thinks he's something special in NCW. Yes, that's why NCW employed you to be the manager of a no-hoper, isn't it Blair? "
Conejo pauses for a second, as if waiting for an answer. He soon pipes up again, answering his own question.
" No it isn't. They put you with him because they needed someone to make a laughing stock of, and you were the stand out option. You were a laughing stock when you managed Machado, and you're still a laughing stock without Machado by your side. Seriously Blair, what you said about me was hilarious! You think you can break my spine? You've got to lock me in a submission move to do that, and trust me when I say that'll be a hard task for you to achieve. I'll power out of anything you try and lock in, because your moves are weak. On a whole, you're just one pathetic, weak wrestler. You want me to stay out of your way, but I'll be purposefully stepping right in front of you. I'm built like a wall, and you won't demolish me. You try it bub, I dare you! I'll even stand and take the first move you throw at me, because after that move I'm going to crush you. John is going to bleed, but I think I want to shed your blood more than I want to shed his. I don't just want to though... I will! "
Conejo turns and looks at the open beer can which he put down earlier.
" Now to work out how to drink that while still wearing my mask... I think there's a straw in the house somewhere. "
Conejo stands up and grabs the beer can. He walks over to the door with the camera following behind him. Opening the door, Conejo steps out of the room with the camera still following. The camera moves so that it's positioned in front of Conejo as he walks onward. Behind Conejo, we see the shed we were just situated inside. Conejo takes a few steps forward, then there is a gust of wind. A piece of paper blows into the cameras view, catching Conejo's eye. Conejo stops and watching the paper, as it slowly falls to the grass in front of his feet.
" That's strange... "
Conejo bends over and picks up the paper with his free hand, still clutching the beer can in his other hand. He looks at the paper, and reads it out loud.
" WANTED... In search of, fine gentlemen that are looking to take over the world. Many benefits included, eye and dental optional. Must love animals and people, work well with others, and like to play the Domination Game. If interested please come to Dock 18 in Athens Greece. "
Conejo's eyes are seen widening through the eyeholes in his mask. He tosses the beer can over his shoulder and runs toward the back door of his house while shouting.
" MOM! I need some money for a ticket to Greece! "
Conejo runs toward what he thinks is an open doorway, only to bounce back off what turns out to be a closed double glazed glass sliding door! Conejo lands flat on his back. The piece of paper flies out of his hand and into the air, and then slowly falls down and comes to rest on his stomach. The scene fades as Conejo sits up, rubbing his masked forehead.
The camera suddenly spins around violently as a clattering noise is heard from behind it. The cameras focus settles on a wooden door. Before the door opens, we are able to catch sight of a dart board hanging from the door with a picture of Jason Blair pinned on the front of it. Blair has a dart through his cheek, and one through his chin. The third dart is stuck in the door, just above the dart board. A clicking noise comes from the door, and then it swings open into the room. The slightly rotund figure of Conejo Esponjoso steps into the room. He grabs the side of the door and swings it shut.
" What a day. I need a beer. "
Conejo turns and catches sight of the camera. He's taken aback by its presence in the room, not that we can tell this from behind his mask.
" Oh my God! I mean... I wasn't expecting you to be here already. Welcome to this, Conejo's shed of doom! The shed of doom is where I come to hatch out all my evil plans, and it's also the place I come to unwind after a hard day of scaring people and causing pain. You know the kind of thing. Anyway, I'm glad you are here already. Let me get a beer, then we can begin. "
Conejo makes his way over to the mini fridge. He bends over and pulls the fridge door open, revealing that it's full of cans of beer, and nothing else. Conejo grabs a can, the taps the door shut with his foot. He sidesteps in front of the sofa, and sits down on it. He sinks down into the sofa slightly, then wriggles until he finds his preferred seating position. Conejo doesn't look at the camera again just yet. He's more interested in his beer. He lifts the ring pull, and the beer fizzes, with some bubbles rising out of the hole in that is now in the top of the can. Conejo goes to drink the beer normally, it just spills down his mask and onto his lap. Conejo's eyes tell us he's annoyed yet feeling a bit foolish at the same time.
" Oh, that's just great! I forgot about my mask, and now I look like I wet myself... "
Conejo puts the beer to one side, on top of the mini fridge which happens to be at just the right height to use as a side table. He now turns his attention to the camera.
" Forget the beer for now. I'll have it after you have gone. I didn't ask you here just to watch me drink beer anyway. I wanted you here so I could talk about my first match in NCW. When NCW signed Conejo, they were setting the ball rolling for what will soon be known as the stuff of nightmares. Now that I have a debut match, the ball is about to start gaining pace. I am here for one reason and one reason only. I'm here to cause pain and suffering to every wrestler I face. You see, I'm one evil son of a gun. I'm also a lucky son of a gun, as in my debut match I get to cause two people pain. I get two bubs for the price of one! "
I'm sure if we could see Conejo's face, he'd be wearing a sick smile. We can't see it though, so we can only assume the smile is there.
" First up we've got Johnathan Bishop, who I'm going to call John just because I can. I have no idea who John is, but I do know a few things about him which I read on the Internet... Yes, even someone as evil and twisted as I am goes on the Net from time to time. I download music, and I don't pay for it! I can do that you see, because I'm evil. Back to John though, and what I've found out about him from the Internet. I know that he signed a contract with NCW around the same time as me, and this weeks match is his NCW debut match as well. Apart from that, all I know is that John looks like a cue ball. By the end of our match, his head will look more like a tomato than a cue ball, because I'm going to make him bleed from it. "
Conejo nods his head slowly, in agreement with his own words.
" Oh, that's right bub! You're going to bleed, and I'm going to be the man who cuts you deep. This isn't going to be a flesh wound. If I have to, I'll expose skull! Then we can call you bone head, instead of cue ball. "
Conejo chuckles to himself, even though what he said wasn't funny. Conejo suddenly stops chuckling, and stares at the camera.
" My second opponent, I know more about. He's Jason Blair, and he's about as clever as that pathetic excuse for a wrestler he used to manage. Blair seems to think I'm a joke... Wrong! I'll tell you a good joke. What's Mary short for? She's got no legs! "
Conejo cracks up laughing. At least half a minute passes with Conejo just sitting there, laughing at the terrible joke he just told. He manages to get the laughter under control in the end though.
" I love that joke. It'll always make me laugh, and will never get boring. Blair on the other hand, is the most boring wrestler I've ever seen or heard. He makes me laugh because he thinks he's something special in NCW. Yes, that's why NCW employed you to be the manager of a no-hoper, isn't it Blair? "
Conejo pauses for a second, as if waiting for an answer. He soon pipes up again, answering his own question.
" No it isn't. They put you with him because they needed someone to make a laughing stock of, and you were the stand out option. You were a laughing stock when you managed Machado, and you're still a laughing stock without Machado by your side. Seriously Blair, what you said about me was hilarious! You think you can break my spine? You've got to lock me in a submission move to do that, and trust me when I say that'll be a hard task for you to achieve. I'll power out of anything you try and lock in, because your moves are weak. On a whole, you're just one pathetic, weak wrestler. You want me to stay out of your way, but I'll be purposefully stepping right in front of you. I'm built like a wall, and you won't demolish me. You try it bub, I dare you! I'll even stand and take the first move you throw at me, because after that move I'm going to crush you. John is going to bleed, but I think I want to shed your blood more than I want to shed his. I don't just want to though... I will! "
Conejo turns and looks at the open beer can which he put down earlier.
" Now to work out how to drink that while still wearing my mask... I think there's a straw in the house somewhere. "
Conejo stands up and grabs the beer can. He walks over to the door with the camera following behind him. Opening the door, Conejo steps out of the room with the camera still following. The camera moves so that it's positioned in front of Conejo as he walks onward. Behind Conejo, we see the shed we were just situated inside. Conejo takes a few steps forward, then there is a gust of wind. A piece of paper blows into the cameras view, catching Conejo's eye. Conejo stops and watching the paper, as it slowly falls to the grass in front of his feet.
" That's strange... "
Conejo bends over and picks up the paper with his free hand, still clutching the beer can in his other hand. He looks at the paper, and reads it out loud.
" WANTED... In search of, fine gentlemen that are looking to take over the world. Many benefits included, eye and dental optional. Must love animals and people, work well with others, and like to play the Domination Game. If interested please come to Dock 18 in Athens Greece. "
Conejo's eyes are seen widening through the eyeholes in his mask. He tosses the beer can over his shoulder and runs toward the back door of his house while shouting.
" MOM! I need some money for a ticket to Greece! "
Conejo runs toward what he thinks is an open doorway, only to bounce back off what turns out to be a closed double glazed glass sliding door! Conejo lands flat on his back. The piece of paper flies out of his hand and into the air, and then slowly falls down and comes to rest on his stomach. The scene fades as Conejo sits up, rubbing his masked forehead.