Post by Angel on Apr 26, 2010 15:56:06 GMT -6
Shelly said she was going out to meet some friends, what she didn't tell me is she was meeting with Falcon.
"I'm worried Kyle."
"Seems like your always worried about him."
I usually give her good reason to be, after all the things I've done...
"But this isn't like before, the things he's doing now, there not just affecting his opponents... There affecting our daughter."
"Yeah, I saw the picture, a little creepy."
Perhaps it was wrong of me to drag her into this.... I don' t know...
"It's not just that, she's starting to believe all the crazy things he's saying, calling himself 'God' and 'Savior' I mean, it's almost like he's Charles Manson or something."
"Well, just say no when he tells you to go kill Gary Sinise."
"This isn't funny Kyle."
I didn't know she felt this way, she never says anything anymore... about anything I do....
"Maybe you should be talking to him about this?"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid if I tell him how I feel he'll find away to twist it all around and make me into the bad guy. You don't understand how hard he is to talk to these days. It's almost like..."
"He's not the same person anymore?"
"Exactly."
Have I changed so much? Is what I say really that crazy? I mean I've only lost every match I've been in since the moment I called myself God... I do wish she would talk to me.
"I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you if you love him, you need to let him know how you feel, that he's scaring you, and maybe he needs to reconsider what matters to him."
"And when he choses nCw over me, like he has before, then what?"
"Then you move on."
Like I have... Like I'm about to. They don't see me move away, they don't see me go outside, they don't see the tear I have welled up in my right eye. But you do, don't you? You see everything because your inside my head, your looking out through my eyes and now you have no choice but to listen to what I have to say. You love me right? You want to be with me? You want to see me succeed? I knew you did, come here you, come here and give me a kiss. Now lets begin.
God... Thats what I've been calling myself lately, God... But I haven't been acting very much like a God, have I? As a matter of fact I've been acting like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum, but bruised egos and lost World titles will do that to you. Understand, I'm in no way saying I'm sorry for the way I've acted or the things I've done, I'm not, at the end of the day I'm still a very bad person, I'm still very pissed off and I will still do whatever I have to to get my World title back. I just want to make it clear here and now that I am God, no more.
Only the monster remains, the one Gib helped to unleash, the one Will Washington beckons with his every word, the one that is going to crush, kill or destroy anyone who steps in between me and the nCw World Championship. This is a declaration and I want everyone to pay attention. The Angel you knew, the one who flew off the rafters to entertain the crowd, the one who always looked for the best in his opponents, the one hell bent on putting on a good show despite the out come... He's dead. What you see before you is merely a painted up husk, a shell, a dead man walking with but the simplest of goals in mind.
I want whats mine, I want what Gib stole, I want back my World Title and I want it over Gib's dead body.
[/color]"I'm worried Kyle."
"Seems like your always worried about him."
I usually give her good reason to be, after all the things I've done...
"But this isn't like before, the things he's doing now, there not just affecting his opponents... There affecting our daughter."
"Yeah, I saw the picture, a little creepy."
Perhaps it was wrong of me to drag her into this.... I don' t know...
"It's not just that, she's starting to believe all the crazy things he's saying, calling himself 'God' and 'Savior' I mean, it's almost like he's Charles Manson or something."
"Well, just say no when he tells you to go kill Gary Sinise."
"This isn't funny Kyle."
I didn't know she felt this way, she never says anything anymore... about anything I do....
"Maybe you should be talking to him about this?"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid if I tell him how I feel he'll find away to twist it all around and make me into the bad guy. You don't understand how hard he is to talk to these days. It's almost like..."
"He's not the same person anymore?"
"Exactly."
Have I changed so much? Is what I say really that crazy? I mean I've only lost every match I've been in since the moment I called myself God... I do wish she would talk to me.
"I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you if you love him, you need to let him know how you feel, that he's scaring you, and maybe he needs to reconsider what matters to him."
"And when he choses nCw over me, like he has before, then what?"
"Then you move on."
Like I have... Like I'm about to. They don't see me move away, they don't see me go outside, they don't see the tear I have welled up in my right eye. But you do, don't you? You see everything because your inside my head, your looking out through my eyes and now you have no choice but to listen to what I have to say. You love me right? You want to be with me? You want to see me succeed? I knew you did, come here you, come here and give me a kiss. Now lets begin.
God... Thats what I've been calling myself lately, God... But I haven't been acting very much like a God, have I? As a matter of fact I've been acting like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum, but bruised egos and lost World titles will do that to you. Understand, I'm in no way saying I'm sorry for the way I've acted or the things I've done, I'm not, at the end of the day I'm still a very bad person, I'm still very pissed off and I will still do whatever I have to to get my World title back. I just want to make it clear here and now that I am God, no more.
Only the monster remains, the one Gib helped to unleash, the one Will Washington beckons with his every word, the one that is going to crush, kill or destroy anyone who steps in between me and the nCw World Championship. This is a declaration and I want everyone to pay attention. The Angel you knew, the one who flew off the rafters to entertain the crowd, the one who always looked for the best in his opponents, the one hell bent on putting on a good show despite the out come... He's dead. What you see before you is merely a painted up husk, a shell, a dead man walking with but the simplest of goals in mind.
I want whats mine, I want what Gib stole, I want back my World Title and I want it over Gib's dead body.
People keep staring at the creepy guy with face paint holding the handi cam in front of his face, tears rolling down his cheek as he secretly comes to terms with the possible end of his relationship. They stare, they laugh, they snicker, but you don't. You never would. You would never see me hurt would you? Thats why I love you, maybe even more than I love her, maybe even more than I can admit right now. But you knew that already, because your inside here with me, listening to every word, hearing every thought. We're one, you and I, we're the same.
That's it. Keep the good sportsmanship, keep the epic feud, keep the fairy tale ending. Give me whats mine and everyone gets to walk away after this match. Its as simple as that. Lay down, give up, don't show, do anything but get in my way because I'm warning you, both of you, I'm not holding back anymore. I'm done losing to people who don't deserve to lick the sweat of my dick let alone pin my shoulders to the mat.
I'm done being on the outside looking in, I'm done being the outcast, I'm done with all of you judging me by the accomplishments of some washed up loser who didn't have the balls enough to keep fighting when the going got tough. You want to compare and contrast, you want to hold me up next to the other greats of nCw, you want to see if Angel can match up to Lance Ryan or Spike Kane.
F*CK THEM! And you as well.
Because I am not Lance or Spike or Steve. I'm not even Adam Knite. I'm an entirely different breed of wrestler. I played God, I got burned and now I know what I was truly meant to do. Savior X was a lie. Salvation was a lie. Redemption was a lie. I wasn't meant for those things. I wasn't meant to start a Revolution or to reshape the face of nCw. I wasn't meant to tag team with Burns. I was meant for one thing and one thing only.
I was meant to rule nCw with an iron fist.[/color]
Rule and be ruled, rule and be loved, rule and have the adoration and the respect of everyone around me as they basked in my glory. I may not be a God or a Savior, but I am a damn good tyrant, the kind you love.... or love to hate... or hate to love... I'm sure you all fall into one of those categorys.
What I did to Gib and his son, the hell I put them through, I did it for me. I did it because it felt good. Forget the excuses I gave you, forget the promises of bringing out the monster and seeing what I was made of. Gib, I tortured you and your son for no good reason at all except to watch you squirm. Pain, humiliation, they are fun toys to play with when you wield them well, the only problem is, someone else got in the way. Our little get together has suddenly gained a third wheel and he isn't content to just let us settle up.
Thing is, he doesn't know what he's getting into, does he Gib? He thinks he's just entering another match for yet another World title shot, like he hasn't had enough. The only problem is, this isn't going to be a match is it Gib? We're not going to wrestle, going hold for hold until one of us doesn't have anything left. We're not trying to match up and see what the other is made of. We're going out there with one objective in mind and thats to make sure the other guy never sets foot in a nCw ring again. At least, thats part of my goal. I'm sure Gib will agree, that it's time we finished this once and for all, it's time we buried the hatchet... in the others head.... so to speak.
So Will, when you get in that ring Sunday and you find yourself almost instantly mowed over by two of the greatest professional wrestlers in the history of the world, don't feel bad. After all, nCw management loves you and if 2010 is anything like 2009, I'm sure you'll get five or six more chances at the world title before the year is out.
The thing is Will, your just not ready for this, no matter what you think. You have not earned it. I see you out there, jumping around the ring like your some sort of super hero, pounding your chest and doing your little dance for the idiots in the crowd. You think your some sort of hero, swooping in to save the day, or at least you want them to think that, but you and I know what lurks beneath that skin of yours, underneath your just as ugly and twisted as we are. Your just as f*cked up and mindless, I've seen you in that ring Will, that glazed over look you get like a hungry dog ready to strike. Thing is Will, your not stepping in the ring with some helpless prey, your stepping in the ring with a couple of lions. Lions who have seen the worst this business can offer and survived to talk about it.
What have you survived in this business? What real hardships have you over come in wrestling? You walked in and became an over night success. You don't know a damn thing about wrestling in a gym in front of 30 people. You don't what it's like to be a part of the ring crew, helping a bunch of grease monkeys set up the ring just so some washed up sack of crap will teach you how to do an arm bar. You haven't slept in putrid motels with nothing but raw potatoes for dinner. Your a preppy little brat with a silver spoon in his mouth and a machine gun in his hand. You know how to take lives from a distance, you know how to squeeze a trigger and bring someone down. But what do you know of being inside that ring with someone you hate so much that you just want to drop them so hard on their head that their neck will snap?
Come on William, fill me in here, I really want to know what Will Washington knows about being a real wrestler and not some douche bag ex veteran with anger management issues. Granted, I've had my share of tantrums, but I've been at this for ten years now and the fact that some blond haired, blue eyed patriot can wave an American flag and be instantly accepted and loved and handed everything on a silver platter not only pisses me off, it's down right insulting to me and my career.
I wasted years of my life toiling away to become what I am today. While I've been out there making a name for myself, my daughter has gone without a father, my wife has gone without a husband, I wasn't there when my father or mother died, I wasn't' there to help my brother when he needed me. While you were over in Iraq proving to yourself that your more than a trust fund baby, I was here, in America, in Japan, in Europe doing everything and anything to get noticed. I became a high flier because they got all the attention, I whored myself out in extreme matches for money, I became a dancing f*cking monkey for no other reason than it got me over and at the end of the day all I had to do was wave a goddam flag and sleep with some assholes wife?
Well if I had known that ten years ago, I'd already be a sixteen time World Champion.[/color]
I laugh, it feels good to laugh, to bury my sadness, to forget for one single instant that I've failed so miserably with my Godly aspirations, but perhaps things will be different Sunday. Perhaps by casting aside everything and everyone, and just going out there like a rabid wolverine with nothing more than the urge to kill driving me, I can bring about the kind of change you people can believe in... By wipping nCw clean of anyone even close to being on my level.
Thing is, your not going to understand, or care, all your going to see is some guy in face paint complaining about his life, but I'm not complaining Will, I want you to understand where I'm coming from, why i do what I do, how I became what I am, that way when we do finally face off in that ring you'll understand that what I do to you is extremely personal and it's just the way I do business. I know you like to throw around allot of threats and all that, but when the time comes and I'm standing right in front of you, everything you have to say, all them fancy words and clever insults and neat scene descriptions are going to melt away to the reality that I do not need to show off, I do not need to be a whore, I do not need to pander to the millions of bench riders in the audience, all I need is to get in that ring and do what I do best... Destroy everything set in front of me.
As for my good buddy Gibby, I'm sorry to say this pal, but your done.
It's over.
Walk away.
You don't have it anymore.
And I don't mean that in the "your old, old man" sort of way. I mean that in the now that you have everything you ever wanted, you don't have the heart for this business anymore kind of way.
Three months ago you were a starving animal, hungry for meat, thirsty for blood and when you got yourself the shot you always wanted you came at me with everything you had, and in a single instant I exposed you for what you were, past your prime. I proved that day that Gib just didn't have what it took to defeat me in that ring. Thats when I decided to bring out Harold, to see if maybe the monster still lives. Thats when I decided that I wanted to be the one who ended your career, forget about Steve Awesome and that snore fest of a feud you had, I wanted the fame and glory of proving you don't have to be some soul sucking face to take down a monster, all you have to be is a bigger monster.
Of course your son back stabbed me and cost me my title, but hey, can't say I didn't see it coming, after all, his father is a gutless worm too.
But now here you are Gib, barely alive, struggling for every breath as life support pumps those lungs full of air. You've got nothing left because theres nothing you want. Your complacent, happy, and your climb to the top is ended and you think you've done it all. I see the weakness in your eyes, the wariness in your voice, your ready to hang'em up and call it a night. Your ready to go out in a blaze of glory and crawl back into that miserable life of yours that I helped turn around. Your career is over, the Legacy is done, we both know it, your just not ready to admit it yet.
You want to see if you still got it, if you can still go like you used to, sure you beat me, but you know you cheated, you know you didn't do it all by yourself, you know, had your son not turned on me, I'd still be World Champion.
Thats why you've been struggling this month, thats why you find yourself handing out compliments instead of ass whippings, thats why you find yourself racking up the losses like your last name was Conway. Face it Gib, the pure breed stallion has won his last race, it's time to turn this stud out to pasture and I've got just the right gun Gibby, all shined up and ready to go just for you.
What I did to your son on Sunday was just the shot across the bow, a warning for whats to come, because believe me I have allot worse in store for you at A Night to Remember. Crucification? Mummifications? Or maybe we'll just call it what it is, murder, because Gib, you don't get to screw with Angel and just walk away like nothing happened. You haven't seen the half of what I'm capable of or the lines I'm willing to cross to get what I want. Fact is Gib, your not ready for me, not this time, not next time, not ever.
I'm walking out of Sunday with my World Title and your not.
Either of you.
It's that simple.[/color]
Some how I've found my way back to the hotel, back to my room, back to where my heart is about to be destroyed. But without a heart I will be but a savage, a brute, a real life monster, the kind I always dreamed about being. I love you Shelly, I love you more than anything, but I need you to reach into my chest and rip out the last thing keeping me from becoming the man in my dreams. Sleep well tonight because the next time you wake up, you become a part of my nightmare.
The End.
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