Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on May 1, 2010 20:27:17 GMT -6
*We open to see the back of DDK's head. He's looking out over the empty arena.*
There comes a time in every man's life when he must venture out on his own. Whether he wants to, or he's forced to.
*The camera slowly swings around DDK.*
And I could easily tell you all about this in a voice over while I sit here looking like a bad ass.
*Once the camera reaches to the front of DDK, we see he's actually talking.*
DDK: ...But I'm not going to do that. I'm not a big fan of the cramped space and the sitting in there doing voice over and then going out and acting to it. What? You thought because you could hear wrestler's thoughts in a promo that we were special? No! We're just ripping off the Wonder Years man! You see, that's what life is about. Everything's been done. Don't you get it!? There's nothing new anymore. Brad's speech about leaving New York to find himself and then "coming home to face the demons." Been done to death. Tommy sitting on a bridge with a list. It's been done. Me sitting here, ragging on these guys about doing things that have been done. Yeah, that's been done too. It'sl all been done! ISN'T THAT FUNNY! HAHAHA HA HA ha ha...ha...ha...
*Silence.*
DDK: ...ha...
*DDK takes a deep breath.*
DDK: See the fact of the matter here boys, is that we have a failure to communicate. Everything's been done. So we do it again, with a spin! That's the real game. That's the way to rock the casbah if you know what I mean! So to get it out there, Brad's a schizo with a hot ass wife that I'd bang to Egypt and back. Nathan's a skin head. Tommy's a loser. And the two other guys are silent because they're nobodies. And me, I'm just nuts. That's the facts. Now onto the fun.
*DDK stands up. He walks over to the camera.*
DDK: I can hastle this camera man.
*DDK shoves him.*
DDK: We all know his fate. The fun, is watching him squirm.
Camera man: Squirm for what?
DDK: Surely you've heard?
Camera man: No.
DDK: No wonder you agreed to be here. This just got more interesting. Camera dude...
Camera man: It's John.
DDK: John...why do you think they'd only let me in here when it's empty.
John: I'm new, I don't...really...
DDK: Why do you think they picked the new guy?
John: Well, I just...
DDK: You sir, are the enemy to me. You are evil in my eyes. Yet you're necessary because I need you to talk about my ring opponents. Or are you?
John: Well I'd like to think I have a purpose in thi--
*Suddenly DDK charges the camera and delivers his vicious spear!*
DDK: BANG!
*DDK grabs the camera and points it at the now unconscious John.*
DDK: See that! SEE IT! Sure it's a lowly camera man, sure he's a weak bastard. But also see the pain. See the anguish. See that, because that's what awaits all five of the unlucky bastards that will walk into the asylum with me. This is the fate of all who wish to go against DDK! Am I a fraud? Am I a joke? Am I really just some immitation!? Well, I'll let my punches decide that for you gentlemen.
*DDK turns the camera on himself.*
DDK: Because if I'm a fool...and I'm successful...what does that make you? Heh. Heh heh. HA HA HA HA HA!
*DDK throws the camera away as the scene fades out.*
There comes a time in every man's life when he must venture out on his own. Whether he wants to, or he's forced to.
*The camera slowly swings around DDK.*
And I could easily tell you all about this in a voice over while I sit here looking like a bad ass.
*Once the camera reaches to the front of DDK, we see he's actually talking.*
DDK: ...But I'm not going to do that. I'm not a big fan of the cramped space and the sitting in there doing voice over and then going out and acting to it. What? You thought because you could hear wrestler's thoughts in a promo that we were special? No! We're just ripping off the Wonder Years man! You see, that's what life is about. Everything's been done. Don't you get it!? There's nothing new anymore. Brad's speech about leaving New York to find himself and then "coming home to face the demons." Been done to death. Tommy sitting on a bridge with a list. It's been done. Me sitting here, ragging on these guys about doing things that have been done. Yeah, that's been done too. It'sl all been done! ISN'T THAT FUNNY! HAHAHA HA HA ha ha...ha...ha...
*Silence.*
DDK: ...ha...
*DDK takes a deep breath.*
DDK: See the fact of the matter here boys, is that we have a failure to communicate. Everything's been done. So we do it again, with a spin! That's the real game. That's the way to rock the casbah if you know what I mean! So to get it out there, Brad's a schizo with a hot ass wife that I'd bang to Egypt and back. Nathan's a skin head. Tommy's a loser. And the two other guys are silent because they're nobodies. And me, I'm just nuts. That's the facts. Now onto the fun.
*DDK stands up. He walks over to the camera.*
DDK: I can hastle this camera man.
*DDK shoves him.*
DDK: We all know his fate. The fun, is watching him squirm.
Camera man: Squirm for what?
DDK: Surely you've heard?
Camera man: No.
DDK: No wonder you agreed to be here. This just got more interesting. Camera dude...
Camera man: It's John.
DDK: John...why do you think they'd only let me in here when it's empty.
John: I'm new, I don't...really...
DDK: Why do you think they picked the new guy?
John: Well, I just...
DDK: You sir, are the enemy to me. You are evil in my eyes. Yet you're necessary because I need you to talk about my ring opponents. Or are you?
John: Well I'd like to think I have a purpose in thi--
*Suddenly DDK charges the camera and delivers his vicious spear!*
DDK: BANG!
*DDK grabs the camera and points it at the now unconscious John.*
DDK: See that! SEE IT! Sure it's a lowly camera man, sure he's a weak bastard. But also see the pain. See the anguish. See that, because that's what awaits all five of the unlucky bastards that will walk into the asylum with me. This is the fate of all who wish to go against DDK! Am I a fraud? Am I a joke? Am I really just some immitation!? Well, I'll let my punches decide that for you gentlemen.
*DDK turns the camera on himself.*
DDK: Because if I'm a fool...and I'm successful...what does that make you? Heh. Heh heh. HA HA HA HA HA!
*DDK throws the camera away as the scene fades out.*