Post by Angel on Jun 3, 2010 5:02:00 GMT -6
"I envy you Adam."
[/color]I let the words hang in the air for a moment. I don't know what it is, the pain in my heart, the aching feeling in my soul, but I cannot keep this up much longer... I have to let it out...
"Ever since I first met you, you have had everything I have ever wanted. You had world titles, powerful stables, respect, fear and most of all you had the undying love of the person you cared about most in the world. If one thing is certain in this life, it's the love between you and Kelly. And for that single reason alone, I have and will always envy you Adam Knite."[/color]
My head hangs over the sink, my eyes are still red, I don't want them to see my face, to see me weak, to see me in this much pain.
"Some of you may remember last year when my wife walked out on me and ran straight into the arms of my most hated rival. Some of you may remember the path of destruction I left in my wake as I went head long for... him... But some of you will remember we seemed to make up, we even tried to play it off as a game... We lied...."[/color]
I wish it was true. I wish our love was that strong... I wish she were here.
"We lied to keep our family together, we lied to make our daughter happy, but most of all we lied to ourselves. We told ourselves that we could live with what had been done, that after all of that we were strong enough to forgive and forget. We actually thought we could go back to where we were, that we could love each other like we used to... But it was all one giant lie... She hated me... I hated her.... And she loved him... I know the affair didn't end. I know when he was gone from this company he was with her... I know whose child she carries...[/color]
I look up through my hair into the reflection in the mirror.
"You cannot comprehend how I feel, the war being raged inside me. Even as I speak to you, I think of her with him and it takes every fiber of my being not to go back there, not to grab them both by the neck and strangle the life out of them. I have never hated someone more than I hate him, for what he's done, for who he is and for being the man I could never be."[/color]
A single tear forms in my right eye.
"So no Brad, I'm not happy with who I am. When I look in the mirror I don't see the person I want to be, because I do not see Adam Knite. I do not see the successful career, the historic World Title run, I do not see me at the head of a powerful stable with the respect of my followers... Do you want to know what I see Brad Kane?
A broken man."[/color]
With seemingly nothing left to lose but the World Title I hold so dear.
"At the end of the day your still going to have your family, your still going to have your wife and some how, Brad, your still going to have nCw's respect. People, they do not respect me, they do not look up to me, they fear me. That's it. And some would say fear is better than love... BUT NOT ME!
Do you want to know why I singled you out? Because you, like Adam, have what I want, the life I have always desired, but unlike Adam, I do not think you deserve it Brad."[/color]
My reflection looks cold, pale, heartless. Again I think about her, I think about him, I think about them holding each other, holding my daughter... I think of Hayleigh calling him "Daddy."
*Smash*
The mirror shatters behind my fist. My hand begins to bleed almost immediately. I do not care.
"You do not deserve your family, you do not deserve her love, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HAPPIER THAN ME!
Look at me Brad, you see my life in tatters, you see my wife sleeping with another man, carrying his child, you see me standing here before you, tears in my eyes, with nothing left to lose but a World Title that means so much to both of us and you wonder why I hate you? You wonder why I have to destroy you?
Maybe your right, maybe I want to be Brad Kane. Maybe I want your life. Maybe I just want to be happy. But more so than that, I want to keep what little I have. I want this World Title more than you Brad, because the World Title will never cheat on me, it will never abandon me, it will never walk in the door one day and tell me it doesn't love me anymore.
This belt, it's all I have, it's the last shard of my life, and your trying to take it from me. Your trying to pry from my hands the last piece of sanity I have and Brad... If you do... If anyone does... I just don't know what I'm going to do."[/color]
I clench my bleeding fist, forcing the blood to pour all over the counter.
"Adam stands there and he tells me he doesn't care about my Title, that he's going to go through me to get to Steve, to get what he wants, to get his life back. Your life isn't gone Adam, your family will still be there when this is all over. When Steve gets bored, when Kelly finally buries that knife in his heart deep enough, your going to get it all back. Your going to go back to your home and live your happy life. And it's that reason alone I can't let you have my title.
I can't let any of you have it.
I've.... Given... Everything...
What have you given? Wheres your sacrifice? Tell me, please... Show me the open, festering wound where anyone of you have given something to be here? Each of.... From Adam to Steve to Brad, have something you want, something you love... Not a single one of you have offered up your life.... Your love... When this match is over.... You all go back to someone you love.... You all have that... What do I have besides this belt? Where will I go when it's over? Who is going to love me?"[/color]
I can't take it anymore, I can't hide behind the mask any longer, I crumble and fall to the bath room floor, pulling my knees up and placing my head face down into them. I can feel the tears falling, I can't hold them back. It's all gone... I've lost everything...
"I will."[/color]
Tara....
"Why? Aren't you afraid too?"[/color]
I feel her arms wrap around me.
"The only thing I'm afraid of is admitting I've never felt this way about anyone before."[/color]
She lightly grabs the sides of my face and lifts my head. Her eyes sparkle, her hair glistens... I love this woman...
"I love you."[/color]
"I love you."[/color]
We kiss and it's everything I've ever imagined it would be and for the first time in a long time I'm happy...
Fade.
"Before today I had nothing left. Before today I was on a path of self destruction. Before today I was ready to give everything I had just to win.
What I've done, the things I've said, I can't take them back, I won't take them back. But I will enter this match with the solemn oath to act like the champion I want to be.
I don't want to be remembered as the heel who cheated his way into the Hall of Fame like Steve Awesome.
I want to be remembered as the hero I once made myself out to be.
As the Savior I promised to be.
I want to be remembered for being respectable like Adam Knite, honorable like Brad Kane, and dominate like my long time friend Falcon.
I'm sorry if I've taken this too far. If I drug you too deep into the darkness of my soul. I will try to be better, not because I'm on a path of redemption, not because I want you to feel sorry for me, but because it's what nCw deserves, its what all of you deserve.
When this match is over and one of us is the World Champion, I hope if I lose I can look that man in the face and thank him for taking me to the limit. If I win, the same.
And Brad... You were right... And I owe you one more match.
Let's do this."[/color]
The End.
I'm just a step away, I'm just a breath away
Losin' my faith today (I'm falling off the edge today)
I am just a man, not superhuman (I'm not superhuman)
Someone save me from the haze
Just another war, just another family torn
Just a step from the edge, just another day in the world we live
I need a Hero to save me now
I need a Hero to save me now
I need a Hero to save my life
A Hero will save me just in time
I've got to fight today to live another day
Speaking my mind today (My voice will be heard today)
I've got to make a stand, but I am just a man (I'm not superhuman)
My voice will be heard today
Just another war, just another family torn (My voice will be heard today)
Just another year, the countdown begins to destroy ourselves
I need a Hero to save me now
I need a Hero to save me now
I need a Hero to save my life
A Hero will save me just in time
I need a Hero to save my life
I need a Hero just in time
Save me just in time
Save me just in time
Who's going to fight for what's right?
Who's going to help us survive?
We're in the fight of our lives (And we're not ready to die)
Who's going to fight for the weak?
Who's going to make them believe?
I've got a Hero living in me!
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