Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jun 5, 2010 5:36:14 GMT -6
*We open in on Kanyon Enterprise walking up a red carpet. They get to a door with two bouncers.*
DDK: My dawgs! Wassup?!
*DDK gives a wink and the finger guns and continues to walk, but the bouncers get closer together to not let him pass.*
Bouncer 1: Name?
DDK: DDK.
Bouncer 2: Not on the list.
DDK: You didn't even look...Diamond Dallas Kanyon.
Bouncer 2: Still not on the list.
DDK: Look, we're here to party! And I'm here to also beat the hell out of Betty White.
Bouncer 1: Oh really?
*Bouncer 1 looks over a clipboard.*
Bouncer 1: You are on a list.
DDK: Ha ha! Told ya.
Bouncer 1: The **** list.
DDK: What?
Bouncer 2: Anyone Betty don't like definitely don't get in.
DDK: This is bull****!
Bouncer 1: Take it up with Betty.
DDK: I WILL! When we get in. Show 'em Russell!
*DDK shoves Russell into the bouncers and they taze Russell. He falls to the floor flopping.*
DDK: I see...well played gentlemen. But I'll get Betty...I will...
*DDK drags Russell by the arm as the rest of Kanyon Enterprise walks away defeated. The camera pans up to see Betty White watching from the second floor with a drink in hand. She gives DDK the middle finger.*
__________________________________________
*We fade back to Kanyon Enterprise walking away from the carpet. A bunch of NCW fans stand at attention when they see him.*
Fan: DDK! OMG!
More fans: WOOOOOOOO!
*They charge.*
Obsidian: STAMPEDE!
DDK: What the hell is this!?
Fan: We were trying to get into the party, but it turns out we're not on the list.
DDK: I know how that is. Well...you know what!? Screw the Young Guns! And in turn, JFK, whom is a Young Gun and I'm facing soon. Let's have our own party!
GQ: What?
Fan: Where will we go?
GQ: We don't have time or efforts for that.
DDK: We have time for the fans! Fans, if you want to party with DDK, follow the war drums!
*DDK grabs a nearby trash can and dumps the contents. He then grabs a stick. He hands it to Obsidian.*
DDK: You ever see a fantasy war movie?
Obsidian: HAVE I!?
DDK: Bang the drum!
*Obsidian bangs the trash can with the stick and follows DDK to wherever he goes as the scene fades out.*
__________________________________
*We fade back into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, where the DDK Mobile has been parked. Many of the parking lot trash cans are lit ablaze as people huddle around them and stare at the RV. All chanting "D-D-K! D-D-K!" Many of the people are wearing blond wigs. Finally, the RV door swings open and GQ, Obsidian, and a shaken up Russell walk out and stand by. Amber Ashe then walks out. She raises her hands in the air. The crowd hushes.*
Amber: Ladies and gentlemen. DDKaniacs of all ages! Let me introduce to you, the King of Xtreme! The Immitator of Violence! The People's Champion! Diamond Dallas Kanyon!!!
*Crowd cheers. DDK comes out as Obsidian bangs the drum can, the people pump their fists to the beat.*
DDK: MY PEOPLE!
Crowd: HAAAOOOO!
DDK: ARE YOU ENTERTAINED!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: WE CELEBRATE BECAUSE WE ROCK AND THE YOUNG GUNS AND BETTY WHITE ARE STUPID FOR NOT LETTING US PARTY!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
DDK: I will take up your fight, for I am the people's champion! I will show these Young Guns a thing or two by destroying one of there own! One JFK!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: And if their champions retain this Sunday, I may exact more revenge on the Young Guns with my sack!
*DDK holds his title shot sack in the air! The crowd bows down to DDK and his sack.*
DDK: Yes! BEHOLD THE MIGHTY SACK!
Crowd: So mighty!
DDK: Wow! Unison talk, awesome! And where'd you all get those blond wigs anyway?
Crowd: NCWSHOP.COM!
DDK: Where deals are aplenty!
GQ: I hope we get paid for that.
Russell: Oh yeah.
DDK: Anyway. THIS SUNDAY, I SHALL FIGHT FOR YOU! I SHALL MAIM FOR YOU! AND I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, ALSO FOR ME! JFK MESSED UP MY CHANCE! HE TOOK ME FROM MY SPOT! MY CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN HAS BEEN DELAYED! BUT I WILL END HIM AND MAKE SURE HE NEVER GETS IN MY WAY AGAIN!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: I WILL TOPPLE THE YOUNG GUN REGIME BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: I WILL RULE THE NCW WITH YOU BY MY SIDE!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: AND WE WILL SHOW THEM! YOU CAN TEACH A DOG TO FISH, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK!
Crowd: Uh...
*Awkward silence.*
Obsidian: YEAH!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: NOW LET'S BUST OUT THE BEER!
Crowd: **** YEAH!
*Obsidian bangs the drum can as DDK goes back in and starts tossing beers out of the RV. GQ and Russell pull out boxes of beer and people crowd around them.*
DDK: LET'S SHOW THE YOUNG GUNS HOW TO REALLY PARTY!
*DDK pops open a brew and sprays it over the crowd. Everyone is jumping around as Russell blairs some music from a boombox. The camera films a few seconds of the crowd dancing when suddenly from the middle of the crowd, DDK pops out and charges to deliver the BANG! to the camera man! The scene cuts out.*
DDK: My dawgs! Wassup?!
*DDK gives a wink and the finger guns and continues to walk, but the bouncers get closer together to not let him pass.*
Bouncer 1: Name?
DDK: DDK.
Bouncer 2: Not on the list.
DDK: You didn't even look...Diamond Dallas Kanyon.
Bouncer 2: Still not on the list.
DDK: Look, we're here to party! And I'm here to also beat the hell out of Betty White.
Bouncer 1: Oh really?
*Bouncer 1 looks over a clipboard.*
Bouncer 1: You are on a list.
DDK: Ha ha! Told ya.
Bouncer 1: The **** list.
DDK: What?
Bouncer 2: Anyone Betty don't like definitely don't get in.
DDK: This is bull****!
Bouncer 1: Take it up with Betty.
DDK: I WILL! When we get in. Show 'em Russell!
*DDK shoves Russell into the bouncers and they taze Russell. He falls to the floor flopping.*
DDK: I see...well played gentlemen. But I'll get Betty...I will...
*DDK drags Russell by the arm as the rest of Kanyon Enterprise walks away defeated. The camera pans up to see Betty White watching from the second floor with a drink in hand. She gives DDK the middle finger.*
__________________________________________
*We fade back to Kanyon Enterprise walking away from the carpet. A bunch of NCW fans stand at attention when they see him.*
Fan: DDK! OMG!
More fans: WOOOOOOOO!
*They charge.*
Obsidian: STAMPEDE!
DDK: What the hell is this!?
Fan: We were trying to get into the party, but it turns out we're not on the list.
DDK: I know how that is. Well...you know what!? Screw the Young Guns! And in turn, JFK, whom is a Young Gun and I'm facing soon. Let's have our own party!
GQ: What?
Fan: Where will we go?
GQ: We don't have time or efforts for that.
DDK: We have time for the fans! Fans, if you want to party with DDK, follow the war drums!
*DDK grabs a nearby trash can and dumps the contents. He then grabs a stick. He hands it to Obsidian.*
DDK: You ever see a fantasy war movie?
Obsidian: HAVE I!?
DDK: Bang the drum!
*Obsidian bangs the trash can with the stick and follows DDK to wherever he goes as the scene fades out.*
__________________________________
*We fade back into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, where the DDK Mobile has been parked. Many of the parking lot trash cans are lit ablaze as people huddle around them and stare at the RV. All chanting "D-D-K! D-D-K!" Many of the people are wearing blond wigs. Finally, the RV door swings open and GQ, Obsidian, and a shaken up Russell walk out and stand by. Amber Ashe then walks out. She raises her hands in the air. The crowd hushes.*
Amber: Ladies and gentlemen. DDKaniacs of all ages! Let me introduce to you, the King of Xtreme! The Immitator of Violence! The People's Champion! Diamond Dallas Kanyon!!!
*Crowd cheers. DDK comes out as Obsidian bangs the drum can, the people pump their fists to the beat.*
DDK: MY PEOPLE!
Crowd: HAAAOOOO!
DDK: ARE YOU ENTERTAINED!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: WE CELEBRATE BECAUSE WE ROCK AND THE YOUNG GUNS AND BETTY WHITE ARE STUPID FOR NOT LETTING US PARTY!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
DDK: I will take up your fight, for I am the people's champion! I will show these Young Guns a thing or two by destroying one of there own! One JFK!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: And if their champions retain this Sunday, I may exact more revenge on the Young Guns with my sack!
*DDK holds his title shot sack in the air! The crowd bows down to DDK and his sack.*
DDK: Yes! BEHOLD THE MIGHTY SACK!
Crowd: So mighty!
DDK: Wow! Unison talk, awesome! And where'd you all get those blond wigs anyway?
Crowd: NCWSHOP.COM!
DDK: Where deals are aplenty!
GQ: I hope we get paid for that.
Russell: Oh yeah.
DDK: Anyway. THIS SUNDAY, I SHALL FIGHT FOR YOU! I SHALL MAIM FOR YOU! AND I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, ALSO FOR ME! JFK MESSED UP MY CHANCE! HE TOOK ME FROM MY SPOT! MY CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN HAS BEEN DELAYED! BUT I WILL END HIM AND MAKE SURE HE NEVER GETS IN MY WAY AGAIN!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: I WILL TOPPLE THE YOUNG GUN REGIME BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: I WILL RULE THE NCW WITH YOU BY MY SIDE!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: AND WE WILL SHOW THEM! YOU CAN TEACH A DOG TO FISH, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK!
Crowd: Uh...
*Awkward silence.*
Obsidian: YEAH!
Crowd: YEAH!
DDK: NOW LET'S BUST OUT THE BEER!
Crowd: **** YEAH!
*Obsidian bangs the drum can as DDK goes back in and starts tossing beers out of the RV. GQ and Russell pull out boxes of beer and people crowd around them.*
DDK: LET'S SHOW THE YOUNG GUNS HOW TO REALLY PARTY!
*DDK pops open a brew and sprays it over the crowd. Everyone is jumping around as Russell blairs some music from a boombox. The camera films a few seconds of the crowd dancing when suddenly from the middle of the crowd, DDK pops out and charges to deliver the BANG! to the camera man! The scene cuts out.*