Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jul 6, 2010 2:05:42 GMT -6
*We open in on DDK running around the DDK-mobile. The camera moves around like a hand-cam. Red dot in the corner
DDK: Do you know who I am? What I do? Do you? DO YOU!??! I'll tell, you for most people, it's a "way homer." Because they get it on the way home. I destroy them, they go home in a stretcher. They find out who the hell I am. But not for you Ron, no no no. You know me too well already. Me and the other me. You know us Ron. You know what we do. How we do it. You are our best friend Ron. You ain't easy to live with. I ain't easy to live with. But I suppose that at some point, this was meant to be. Their must be a price for the domination we spread like wildfire. Is it fair? Naw. A fair price. That's not what you say it is, and it's not what I say it is... It's what the market will bear. We will give our blood, our sweat, possibly our lives to fight each other. The fans will pay their hard earned money, the ratings will be through the roof! And what do I get for it?
*DDK walks up to the camera. He taps on it.*
DDK: I get this! I mess up a few evil camera men, suddenly NCW says I can't have camera men anymore. I tell them my DDKaniacs are out there and need to see me. So they give me a hand-held. I have to make Obsidian or GQ carry the camera around now.
*The camera turns and we see Obsidian wave.*
Obsidian: Hi America!
*Turn back to DDK.*
DDK: You may have cheated your way to the offices Ron. And you may have cheated your way to victory in our tag match. But there's no cheating in the Extreme Nicholas Caged Lynch Mob Match. Because it's all legal! Everything's legal. I'm going to find many a thing to bash your brains in with Ron. And you, well you couldn't find your butt if it had a bell on it. So I'm not worried about you. I'm going to smash you into oblivion. I brought in Nickie Cage because I wanted him to see. I wanted him to represent all our prestigious company. All our glamorous friends. Remember Ron? We used to hang with Howie Mandell, Mr. T, and countless others. Unfortunately, he's busy, but he'll be loaning us plenty of things to hit each other with. And I will hit you with plenty of things.
*DDK grabs his sack.*
DDK: See Ron, I've got this bag that gives me a title shot. And I've pretty much not used it because you pissed me off too much. You have turned me into the lone biker of the apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. And I'm bringing them down on you. I'm bringing the power of my fists, my feet, my rage, and my sack, all down upon you! And you better be ready Ron, because you will not survive. But then again, you knew all this before, and I'm still going to send you home in a cast. You will...feel...the...BANG!
*DDK charges at the camera, but Obsidian gets scared and jumps up on the couch.*
Obsidian: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
DDK: Sorry. Old habits.
*The scene fades.*
DDK: Do you know who I am? What I do? Do you? DO YOU!??! I'll tell, you for most people, it's a "way homer." Because they get it on the way home. I destroy them, they go home in a stretcher. They find out who the hell I am. But not for you Ron, no no no. You know me too well already. Me and the other me. You know us Ron. You know what we do. How we do it. You are our best friend Ron. You ain't easy to live with. I ain't easy to live with. But I suppose that at some point, this was meant to be. Their must be a price for the domination we spread like wildfire. Is it fair? Naw. A fair price. That's not what you say it is, and it's not what I say it is... It's what the market will bear. We will give our blood, our sweat, possibly our lives to fight each other. The fans will pay their hard earned money, the ratings will be through the roof! And what do I get for it?
*DDK walks up to the camera. He taps on it.*
DDK: I get this! I mess up a few evil camera men, suddenly NCW says I can't have camera men anymore. I tell them my DDKaniacs are out there and need to see me. So they give me a hand-held. I have to make Obsidian or GQ carry the camera around now.
*The camera turns and we see Obsidian wave.*
Obsidian: Hi America!
*Turn back to DDK.*
DDK: You may have cheated your way to the offices Ron. And you may have cheated your way to victory in our tag match. But there's no cheating in the Extreme Nicholas Caged Lynch Mob Match. Because it's all legal! Everything's legal. I'm going to find many a thing to bash your brains in with Ron. And you, well you couldn't find your butt if it had a bell on it. So I'm not worried about you. I'm going to smash you into oblivion. I brought in Nickie Cage because I wanted him to see. I wanted him to represent all our prestigious company. All our glamorous friends. Remember Ron? We used to hang with Howie Mandell, Mr. T, and countless others. Unfortunately, he's busy, but he'll be loaning us plenty of things to hit each other with. And I will hit you with plenty of things.
*DDK grabs his sack.*
DDK: See Ron, I've got this bag that gives me a title shot. And I've pretty much not used it because you pissed me off too much. You have turned me into the lone biker of the apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. And I'm bringing them down on you. I'm bringing the power of my fists, my feet, my rage, and my sack, all down upon you! And you better be ready Ron, because you will not survive. But then again, you knew all this before, and I'm still going to send you home in a cast. You will...feel...the...BANG!
*DDK charges at the camera, but Obsidian gets scared and jumps up on the couch.*
Obsidian: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
DDK: Sorry. Old habits.
*The scene fades.*