Post by Kelly Fox on Jul 19, 2010 9:40:35 GMT -6
OPENING
Hello Knitelife subscribers, it’s I, your favorite wrestler/commentator/house wife/business woman on the face of the plent Kelly Knite, bringing you another addition to your favorite and greatest NCW column ever…KNITELIFE. We have a lot to get through this week and I’m not even sure I can do it justice in the short amount of space I’m allowed, but rest assured that I will try!
Well this week sure was exciting, I'll open by saying that. So what did you fans think, didn't expect to see me back on the commentary table did you? Well I showed you and I shocked the world! Well, maybe not, but it does feel good to be back at the table and it feels good to be part of the first ever three person commentary team. That's right, you heard it here first... not only am I back but we're now going to make the hottest threesome ever. Well that didn't come out right, but you get what I mean. With the three person set up, yours truly is going to take the lead role, Hardy will be doing play by play and Willy of course will stay at the color spot. It's going to be fun and if you liked what you heard during the main event, then you're going to be happy because we're going to bring that to you every week!
With that out of the way, I'm going to say, what in the hell are you people thinking? Destructor and Jaymie Boone tied with Steve’s right hand as NCW’s #2 couple?! A dude in a scuba suit dating a hooker is the number 2 NCW couple… yeah, ok… I get that you guys love Destructor, but use your heads people. Now, Steve and his handy co-winning that was pretty hilarious… keep that kind of thinking up. Anyway, that was a fun poll, I thought it had a neat turnout and well in the end that’s what it was about, just having some fun.
Now this weeks’ poll we’re going to focus on the upcoming three year anniversary shows, and we’re going to ask you fans what one wrestler from NCW’s past would you most like to see make a one night return to the ring(possibly longer)? Would you like to see Hall of Famers like Spike Kane and Dave Holland, or do you want to see fan favorites like Trent Helms and Gib? Now let me make this clear, this isn’t a guarantee that it’ll happen, this is just to see who you’d most like to see on the show.
Now lets move on to the rest of this column, we’ve got a lot to take in.
REVIEW OF LAST WEEK
Wow, I don’t know what else to say about shows like these. Trauma was simply amazing, with Destructor and Evan Andrews ripping the place up in the opening contest to the main event that saw Tara Fenix defeat Megan Kane in a cage match, it was an amazing show. Now admittedly I thought it was pretty stupid to have a cage match because of a stuffed bear.. but hey, I’ve never claimed to understand the thought process of either Megan or Tara, I guess it made sense to them. Who knows for sure though, but the fact it was over a silly bear doesn’t stop the fact that it was a hard fougth match that really could have been on any NCW pay per view, congratulations to you two for being the hightlight of that show.
Now Collision, come on… Kelly Knite returns, the story of the night, and well that whole “Who’s the real NCW World Champion” thing, but who was worrying about that!? Ok.. everybody, but come on my return was pretty awesome… sorry I keep talking about it, I’m just so excited. Anyway, as you must of heard by now Philip Burns will remain the NCW champion, and DDK wasn’t happy about it at all, going so far as to BANG! The Head of the NCW Championship Committee Ruston Bourne. Methinks that Bourne isn’t going to take that lightly.
Anyway, the actual show was great, all except Steve Awesome and my dad are huge dicks. Hey guys, I’m over here with Adam in this hotel room, Zelda and Falcon have a room down the hall, and I’m not coming back! Putting Zelda’s contract on the line as a threat to keep me as Steve’s manager, that was real manly of you two… oh yeah, jerkoffs.
Other than that tom foolery, Collision this week was nothing short of awesome. Seth Evans, Falcon, and Charlie Velez almost brought the arena down the fans were on their feet cheering so loud. Those three… that should have been like a pay per view main event or something. The main event was great, and I was happy to be at ringside for it, just a shame it had to end in like a massive brawl like that. The sight of this new and improved Joe Everyman, it kind of makes me happy, it’s good to see him with a backbone. I can’t stand Ashlie, but whatever she is doing with him it seems to be working quite nicely.
Now to the web show, it was really good this week, the fans got a treat with Andrew Jacobsen headlining the event, and congratulations to Ashlie Ember on her first win.. I hate her guts… but well congratulations. Oh, and to Malice as well, good first win, the Women’s division is looking up.
Overall, this weeks shows were some of the best in recent memory. There was a lot going on but it all seemed so exciting that I just didn’t want to look away. I’m glad I’m coming back to the commentary table right now because if the shows keep going like this, I’m going to love having the front row seat for them!
PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK
LAST WEEK'S RECORD:: 7-8 :: This..was not my week. I got 1.. ONE match right on Collision and it was Joe Everyman!
OVERALL RECORD:: 128-78 :: Still 50 up after that stinker of a week, but I'll make up for it this week, I swear.
UPSET OF THE WEEK RECORD:: 7-11 :: I wonder if I can get a free Slurpee for this shameless plug? But serious... 7-11 geebus that's four wrong guesses in a row! I stink at this.
Saturday Night Trauma
Singles Match
Tara Fenix vs. Ashlie Ember
-Tara Fenix- Part of me wants to call an upset and pick Ashlie, but I won't, Tara Fenix will come away with this.
Singles Match
Rob Diamond vs. Brad Kane
-Rob Diamond- You know what, I think Rob Diamond rebounds from this and comes out strong and upsets the former world champion.
4 Way Match
Andrew Jacobsen vs. Joe Ragnal vs. Stefan Rzany vs. Alex Jones
-Andrew Jacobsen- He's my boy and despite the fact Rzany is awesome, I've gotta keep going with him here.
Main Event: nCw World Tag Team Championship Match
IWash vs. Mystery Opponents
-iWASH- Gotta go with the team I named, no matter who they're facing.
Sunday Morning Collision Web Show
Tag Team Match
Motor City Mafia vs. Magically Delicious
-Magically Delicious- Just because I want to see them beat the Foff lackey team.
Singles Match
AB the Icon vs. Gabriel Karras
-Gabriel Karras- The new guy gout a tough draw this week, Karras is a tough one to beat and it sucks this is his first NCW opponent, but will be a good showing if he can pull out the win.
Singles Match
Rayne vs. Charlaine Jones
-Rayne- She's big and tough, she can take the former MMA star.
Singles Match
Adam Knite vs. JFK
-Adam Knite- I'm pretty sure Adam can win this, JFK is a tough competitor though so it won't be easy.
Sunday Night Collision
Singles Match
Cleopatra vs. Megan Kane
-Cleopatra- I'd love to go with Megan.. but Cleo is on a roll I think.
Non Title Singles Match
Xavier Williams vs. Seth Evans
-Seth Evans- The X-Division champion will beat the Honor champion even though X is coming off a great pair of wins in back to back weeks.
Tag Team Match
Ex and Abel vs. Destructor And Tempestad
-D! and Temp- It's like a Halloween party in this match, and Destructor is still old enough to go trick or treating, so they win.
Tag Team Match
The Ringmasters (Seph and Freakke) vs. The Young Guns (Doc and Venom)
-Young Guns- I hate to say it but Doc and Venom work well together as a team and they have way more experiance than these two.
!!!UPSET OF THE WEEK!!!
The title to Ron Gibsons Car is on the line!
Philip Burns vs. Ron Gibson
-Ron Gibson- Ron will be motivated not to lose the deed to his car in this match.
Non Title Singles Match
DDK vs. Joe Everyman
-Joe Everyman- I think I'm going to ride this Joe Everyman train until it derails. So he'll beat the sack master.
Main Event: Singles Match
Falcon vs. Steve Awesome
-Falcon- **** you Steve.
Well there you go, I hit a road block last week, but I promise you that I’ll get back on track this one. I have a good feeling about this picks, I like this picks, these picks won’t let me down. Or at least I hope now, but who knows. Anyway, you can take it to the bank because I’ve spoken.
THE FAB FIVE
5. Xavier Williams :: Rob Diamond is a jerk, but he was right, he was the hottest wrestler in NCW, until he met with Falcon and X that is.
4. Ashlie Ember :: God I hate her so much... but she got her first win, and I will honor that with a listing here.
3. Tara Fenix :: Hard fought cage match, and she came out on top, good for her.
2. Brad Kane :: Picked up a great win in that main event six man tag match.
1. Falcon :: Seth Evans and Charlie Velez are both very tough alone, let alone mixed in a three way, and Falcon just came out on top.
WHAT TO KEEP AN EYE ON
1. This four way match on Trauma between Jacobsen, Ragnal, Rzany and Alex Jones promises to be an amazing match, I don't know how they are going to contain so much awesome in a Trauma match, but hell if they aren't going to try.
2. Doc an Venom... they're looking to take the tag team division by storm and they've sent a message loud and clear to every team to stay out of their way. After a great first win against Ex and Abel last week, they get a tougher task in taking on the Xtreme champion and NCW's resident psycho clown Freakke. It'll be a hard fought match, but Doc and Venom can handle it.
3. Joe Everyman... I hate to say it but it looks like Ashlie is right, this is a new and improved Joe Everyman. He's confident, he's got swagger, and he's mean. This is the Joe Everyman, Adam and Lance wanted when they started the AotR about two years back and it seems that Ashlie was the one who was able to find it. We women can work miracles sometimes, I swear.
4. I usually don’t mention main events here, because well they’re main events… that tells you to watch them right there since they’ll be the highlight of the show, however this week’s main event on Collision is amazing. Falcon versus Steve Awesome!? That is a lot of talent inside that ring. Falcon who is now officially dating my sister-in-law looks to get a bit of revenge for what Steve did to her at Picture Perfect.
THE KNITELINE
James, Tempe, Arizona
Oh Em Gee, after that beautiful this week between Charlie and his wife Annette how can they not be the best couple in nCw? I know you've dubbed yourself and Adam the best and took a poll for the 'second best' but we all know those polls are rigged so you have to admit that they're great together.
-The are great together and looks like they'll be together for a long time to come. Lets hope nothing comes between them and tests their love like what happened to me and Adam.
Steve Awesome; Via Mobile
.....why?
-I don't know how many more times I have to say this Steve... but I don't love you like that. I... never did. You were a great fun, during some tough times and you can be a wonderful person... but right now you're acting like a jackass... don't let this bring you down.
Nerd McKenzie, Washington, D.C.
Like, OMGZ Kelly did you notice all these wrestlers on Twitter now!? What do you think of all this, and will you make one!? I want to follow you, lmao, not in like real life but...on the internet!!
-Well... after being put under some great pressure to get one, I finally made a twitter account and so did Zelda. It's a great way to see into the minds of other NCW members and well...it's kind of fun.
Ron Burgundy; San Diego, CA
Hey Kelly, I was just wondering, does the carpet match the curtains?
...Oh, I'm sorry, I just re-read that. I don't mean in the icky sexual way. I mean literally, do the carpets in your house match the curtains? Because I am trying to remodel my house, and I don't know if I should keep with the same color scheme all the way through or mix it up and see what makes a good match? Stay classy!
-Well not to sound like I'm on After Midnight.. but yes.. they do... wait the house.. oh... heehee... Yeah they match as well.
Greg; Calgary, Alberta
We all know nCw's got the Assault X match lined up for Ascension. Therefore my question to you is this: If you could pick any 4 wrestlers in nCw history to compete in the Assault X, who would they be?
-Well considering the Assault X is all about fast paced action, I think I'd have to go with Trent Helms, Alex Jones, Brad Kane, and Angel. That'd make for one hell of match I think.
Ashlie Ember; Joe Everyman's locker room
Hey, Kelly. My question is this. How about the new and improved Joe Everyman? Pretty damn good, and a whole lot better than your "client".
-He's been impressive the past couple of weeks, looks like you're doing a good job with him... now shut up and leave me alone skank.
Claude Van Damn, LA
If you could be any color of the rainbow Kelly, what color would you be?
-Does pink count? I like pink. If not... red.
MY CLOSING THOUGHS
It’s great to be back…ok that’s seriously the last time I’m going to say that.
It is down right disgusting that my father and Steve are going to use Zelda as a bargaining chip like that.
So what is up with this Malice chick? Is she ok? Did she escape an asylum or something…. Feels like a bad movie remake in here.
The NCW Championship Committee did the right thing, Obsidien isn’t a licensed referee therefore Kanyon couldn’t wint the title. I do feel bad for the guy, I really think he was very happy believing he was the World champion… seemed kind of crushed when he found out he wasn’t.
Man it feels good to be back….. crappit.... sorry.
I said this earlier but… a stuff animal, a cage match over a stuff animal? I thought we were trying to display a different level of Women’s wrestling in this company? Good thing Zelda’s still the top name in that division so we can say we have a wrestler and not a sex symbol as the champion.
Speaking of our Women’s Division, I wish Maria Williams a speedy recovery, it’s a shame when an accident like that happens. Get well soon Maria.
Seeing Rob Diamond offer to shake Xavier Williams hand… was… wow. The boy is growing up and I’d like to take this opportunity to extend the olive branch between he and myself as well. You keep this up Rob and you’ll make my fab five and you’ll go far in this company.
Did anybody see Zelda calling out Lance Ryan on Twitter and on the official NCW website!? That girl has got some guts, but she’s crazy. Just because you want to prove something doesn’t mean you challenge the most storied icon in NCW history. Stefan Rzany has refused to answer her challenge, we’ll see if she keeps this up or let it slide after she got her “no” response.
It’s going around that DDK is going to receive a hefty fine for attacking an NCW staff member like that. I hear it maybe be upwards of 10k… that’s a big chunk of change. However, I’m hearing suspension is not in he equation so don’t get your hopes up DDK haters.
Finally I just want to say, I think we’re going to have some fine shows for you this week and make sure to tun in. The next week is the Three Year Anniversary special. It’s an amazing time for NCW fans around the world. Can you believe it? Three years ago NCW was just getting started and nobody expected this kind of meteoric rise to the top. We couldn’t of done it without the support of you fans, but I’ll get into the big mushy stuff later for that week and leave you with this… we have some amazing matches planned, you just wait and see and possibly a few big surprises, it’s going to be fun!
Until next time
--KELLY KNITE
Oh and it sure feels great to be back at the commentary table! Ha ha! Got one more in there! Choke on that.