Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Aug 10, 2010 23:58:33 GMT -6
*We see DDK walking down a hallway with the world title around his waist and his sack in his hand. As he walks, he's suddenly stopped by none other than Chad Lights!*
Chad: DDK! An interview if you please.
DDK: You want to interview me Chadley? Yeah, we can do that.
Chad: Okay, well first, let me--
DDK: No no no. First, let's set the mood...
*DDK walks to the wall behind them and pulls a cord, causing a banner to fall with the NCW logo. He hits a light that shines a DDK logo on the banner, setting a nice background. He then turns on some other lights to set the mood.*
Chad: Where'd you get those? In fact, how'd you do that!?
DDK: I'm the people's champ, it's magic. Now go.
Chad: You got a big fight, I mean, your main eventing a PPV! For the first time.
DDK: I did it last month.
Chad: Okay...planned to main event. How are you feeling?
DDK: Oh I am pumped baby! You know mean Gene, I'm going to whip some Burns ass! You know, I just don't know the best way to tell P. Montgomery Burns how it's going down.
Chad: Is there really a bad way to do it?
DDK: No, it's all good, I mean, should I go sit in a corner and have an inner monologue?
Burns is a dick. He's lame and boring. But he fights like a mad man. My feelings are mixed. I know I'll get hurt, but I'll give him hurt back. I won't let my children watch how brutal I'll be. My ass itches.
DDK: See, where is that from? I didn't even record my voice earlier? What the hell man!? So I don't really want to go that route.
Chad: I see.
DDK: I could always do a political attack. Some propaganda is always good. Say how Burns always relied on tag partners, how he's made mistake after mistake, and that he eats babies.
*Paid for by the committee for DDK as World Champion
DDK: But that's long and arduous. And really, this is wrestling, no one's voting on a damn thing.
*DDK winks at the camera.*
Chad: What?
DDK: I could do some wild adventure with my goons and/or Joe Everyman, but no. Well, maybe next time. For now, I think I'll just talk. Let's talk about history Chad.
Chad: Well as the interviewer, I should lead.
DDK: Okay.
Chad: So DDK, let's talk about history...which history?
DDK: Last month.
Chad: Gotcha. Last month you thought you cashed in your sack--
DDK: I did.
Chad: And the powers that be decided it didn't count--
DDK: But it did.
Chad: So you're not the champ.
DDK: I have the belt. I am the unofficial champion apparently. But I'll make it official official this Sunday, when I climb those cages. You see, according to our...history books...I didn't win the title at Picture Perfect, and Burns never lost the belt. Well...he did. I will rectify this situation, because as everyone knows Chad, history books are written by the winners. I will win, I will make sure the books are right this time!
Chad: So you want Burns title reign stricken from the record?
DDK: WHAT!? Chad, buddy, no. Of course not. I know Phil. I've fought Phil. I've beaten Phil for a title, twice. But I'm not taking it away from him, the man is a former world champ. Whether its for two minutes, two weeks, or two years, a world champion is a world champion for life. As a wrestler, and a man, it would be just plain disrespectful to deny that. Does he deserve to be there, sure, he worked hard. Does he deserve to still be considered the champ? Well, I pinned him, so I don't think so, but that's personal opinion. I would have given him the rematch for Ascension. But the championship committee did it first.
Chad: So...you...respect Phil?
DDK: Of course! Like I said, I've fought him before. I didn't win the tag titles the first time I vied for them. He's a tough son of a bitch. If I were to go to war, I'd want him in my platoon. He'd be a great man to have behind my back in a fight. But to lead it? No. He's a follower, not a leader. He's too straight laced, too by the book, too...sane. That's why he needed Angel. That's why he needs to hang with the mustache wearing Mike. Because who'd watch just Phil by himself? That's boring.
Chad: But you're never by yourself.
DDK: Well, that's because I'm crazy. That's why I'll whip Phil's ass. He's dangerous sure, but I'm crazy bitch! I will find a way to maim Phil so he can't even tell which way is up! I will find a way to climb those cages, even if Phil cuts my arms and legs off! I will even call upon the powers of David Arquette if I have to! But I know for sure...I'll be bringing my sack.
*DDK holds up his old dirty sack.*
Chad: But there's no contract in there.
DDK: Used it, I know.
Chad: So you're going to use the panties?
DDK: Oh no, those aren't in here anymore either. I sold them all on eBay to some guy named ncwCraigSuperfan02. No, I've found something much better to fill my sack with. And if Phil's lucky, he won't find out.
Chad: What is it.
DDK: Do you want to find out.
*DDK smiles a big grin.*
Chad: ...please no.
*Okay. But you're friend isn't safe.
Chad: I knew I shouldn't have brought him. Sorry Greg.
*The camera reacts to Chad's word. It starts looking around frantically, but DDK is already on the move. The camera man feels the BANG! And the feed cuts out.*
Chad: DDK! An interview if you please.
DDK: You want to interview me Chadley? Yeah, we can do that.
Chad: Okay, well first, let me--
DDK: No no no. First, let's set the mood...
*DDK walks to the wall behind them and pulls a cord, causing a banner to fall with the NCW logo. He hits a light that shines a DDK logo on the banner, setting a nice background. He then turns on some other lights to set the mood.*
Chad: Where'd you get those? In fact, how'd you do that!?
DDK: I'm the people's champ, it's magic. Now go.
Chad: You got a big fight, I mean, your main eventing a PPV! For the first time.
DDK: I did it last month.
Chad: Okay...planned to main event. How are you feeling?
DDK: Oh I am pumped baby! You know mean Gene, I'm going to whip some Burns ass! You know, I just don't know the best way to tell P. Montgomery Burns how it's going down.
Chad: Is there really a bad way to do it?
DDK: No, it's all good, I mean, should I go sit in a corner and have an inner monologue?
Burns is a dick. He's lame and boring. But he fights like a mad man. My feelings are mixed. I know I'll get hurt, but I'll give him hurt back. I won't let my children watch how brutal I'll be. My ass itches.
DDK: See, where is that from? I didn't even record my voice earlier? What the hell man!? So I don't really want to go that route.
Chad: I see.
DDK: I could always do a political attack. Some propaganda is always good. Say how Burns always relied on tag partners, how he's made mistake after mistake, and that he eats babies.
*Paid for by the committee for DDK as World Champion
DDK: But that's long and arduous. And really, this is wrestling, no one's voting on a damn thing.
*DDK winks at the camera.*
Chad: What?
DDK: I could do some wild adventure with my goons and/or Joe Everyman, but no. Well, maybe next time. For now, I think I'll just talk. Let's talk about history Chad.
Chad: Well as the interviewer, I should lead.
DDK: Okay.
Chad: So DDK, let's talk about history...which history?
DDK: Last month.
Chad: Gotcha. Last month you thought you cashed in your sack--
DDK: I did.
Chad: And the powers that be decided it didn't count--
DDK: But it did.
Chad: So you're not the champ.
DDK: I have the belt. I am the unofficial champion apparently. But I'll make it official official this Sunday, when I climb those cages. You see, according to our...history books...I didn't win the title at Picture Perfect, and Burns never lost the belt. Well...he did. I will rectify this situation, because as everyone knows Chad, history books are written by the winners. I will win, I will make sure the books are right this time!
Chad: So you want Burns title reign stricken from the record?
DDK: WHAT!? Chad, buddy, no. Of course not. I know Phil. I've fought Phil. I've beaten Phil for a title, twice. But I'm not taking it away from him, the man is a former world champ. Whether its for two minutes, two weeks, or two years, a world champion is a world champion for life. As a wrestler, and a man, it would be just plain disrespectful to deny that. Does he deserve to be there, sure, he worked hard. Does he deserve to still be considered the champ? Well, I pinned him, so I don't think so, but that's personal opinion. I would have given him the rematch for Ascension. But the championship committee did it first.
Chad: So...you...respect Phil?
DDK: Of course! Like I said, I've fought him before. I didn't win the tag titles the first time I vied for them. He's a tough son of a bitch. If I were to go to war, I'd want him in my platoon. He'd be a great man to have behind my back in a fight. But to lead it? No. He's a follower, not a leader. He's too straight laced, too by the book, too...sane. That's why he needed Angel. That's why he needs to hang with the mustache wearing Mike. Because who'd watch just Phil by himself? That's boring.
Chad: But you're never by yourself.
DDK: Well, that's because I'm crazy. That's why I'll whip Phil's ass. He's dangerous sure, but I'm crazy bitch! I will find a way to maim Phil so he can't even tell which way is up! I will find a way to climb those cages, even if Phil cuts my arms and legs off! I will even call upon the powers of David Arquette if I have to! But I know for sure...I'll be bringing my sack.
*DDK holds up his old dirty sack.*
Chad: But there's no contract in there.
DDK: Used it, I know.
Chad: So you're going to use the panties?
DDK: Oh no, those aren't in here anymore either. I sold them all on eBay to some guy named ncwCraigSuperfan02. No, I've found something much better to fill my sack with. And if Phil's lucky, he won't find out.
Chad: What is it.
DDK: Do you want to find out.
*DDK smiles a big grin.*
Chad: ...please no.
*Okay. But you're friend isn't safe.
Chad: I knew I shouldn't have brought him. Sorry Greg.
*The camera reacts to Chad's word. It starts looking around frantically, but DDK is already on the move. The camera man feels the BANG! And the feed cuts out.*