Post by Justin Reynolds on Aug 14, 2010 8:55:38 GMT -6
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: Come on Justin, pick up the damned phone already...
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: Why do you have a cell phone if you never pick it up?
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Justin's Voicemail: Hey wassup, you've reached Mister nCW, Justin Reynolds' cell number. I'm not here at the moment because unlike you I have something better to do than continuously call someone over and over at 12:22AM. Leave me a message or text--Actually just leave me a voice message, texting is gay. Leave one at the beep.
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The phone is hung up as the camera pans out. We see the agent of the next best thing in nCW, Justin Reynolds of course, Faarquan Ahmed, who's been friends with Justin since Kindergarden, sitting on his couch in a white tanktop and sweatpants. The lights are completely off as the only thing that lights up the room is Faarquan's 25'' TV, which is tuned into ESPN's Sportscenter. Faarquan rubs the sweat off his forehead as he watches the TV
The phone is hung up as the camera pans out. We see the agent of the next best thing in nCW, Justin Reynolds of course, Faarquan Ahmed, who's been friends with Justin since Kindergarden, sitting on his couch in a white tanktop and sweatpants. The lights are completely off as the only thing that lights up the room is Faarquan's 25'' TV, which is tuned into ESPN's Sportscenter. Faarquan rubs the sweat off his forehead as he watches the TV
Sportscenter Anchor: And our top story today, the janitor of a Clam Bar in Jacksonville Florida gives his opinion on the Miami Heat Big Three!
Faarquan Ahmed: Same **** every day
Ahmed changes the channel, and then starts surfing through the TV for a minute or so. He then stops and turns off the TV. The second he does...
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Faarquan Ahmed: Justin I swear to GOD, this better be you calling!
Ahmed picks up his phone
Faarquan Ahmed: Hello?
Justin Reynolds: Hey asshole, open up the damned door!
Ahmed stalls for a few seconds out of pure shock as he then walks to the door entrance and opens it up. In it is Justin Reynolds, with his diamond studded cell phone in his ear. He hangs up the phone as Ahmed takes a look at Justin. He is wearing a custon made "Mister nCw" shirt. It is black with "Mister nCW" in golden, sparkling, script letters. He is wearing beige designer shorts with a belt with a skull and crossbones buckle, and has black and yellow Air Jordans.
Faarquan Ahmed: Where the hell were you? I was calling you for HOURS!
Justin Reynolds: Whoa whoa whoa Faary! Calm down for a second, and let's be real. I'm JUSTIN REYNOLDS, MISTER NCW. I'm EVERYWHERE, because EVERYONE wants me!
Ahmed sighs
Faarquan Ahmed: Come on in man.
Justin walks into Ahmed's small apartment and survey's it. Considering the fact that Justin is an only child of two multi-millionaires, you'd think that his agent would be living a luxiourious lifestyle, right? Well, Faarquan lives in a small "bacholor pad". The living room connects with the kitchen, the living room as a couch, a table, a TV in front of two windows, and a closet to the right. The kitchen is very small, but from the looks of it, it's very old and is never really used. Once you get past those, you have a bathroom, which has a small toilet, a sink and mirror, and a shower. The bedroom takes up the most room, where Ahmed has a king size bed, a TV, a nightstand, a door where we can enter the bathroon without going into the hallway, a few windows, and another closet. All in all, it's pretty small, a little cramped, and WWWAAAAYYY too poor for the likes of Mister nCw, Justin Reynolds.
Justin Reynolds: Geez Faary, get some light in here willyah?
Justin claps his hands three times. Nothing happens. Justin claps his hands again. Still, nothing happens. Faarquan turns on the lights by flicking on the switch
Faarquan Ahmed: This is an apartment, you can't turn on the lights by clapping like you mansion Justin.
Justin Reynolds: Whatever man. Listen, what'd you call me for?
Ahmed points down to the couch
Faarquan Ahmed: Sit down man, I’ve got something to show you.
Ahmed turns on the TV, and opens up a drawer, and takes out a VCR tape. He then inserts it into his VCR and turns it on.
Justin Reynolds: Eeeeewwww…
Faarquan Ahmed: Hey, sorry man but not everyone takes showers in pure gold and wipes their asses with $100 bills, alright?
Justin Reynolds: Hey get your facts straight! My shower is MADE out of pure gold, and it’s $1,000 in which I wipe my ass! Okay!?
Ahmed sighs
Faarquan Ahmed: Just look at the ****ing tape Justin…
Ahmed sits down next to Justin as the tape begins with a little bit of static, and then…
Before I get started let me just say thank you to the nCw staff, not only for giving me a job, but allowing me to be the man to shut down the self proclaimed “Mister nCw” before this **** gets anymore out of control. It will be my honor to put my boot in that kids ass…My opponents are the loud mouthed jack-ass I spoke of earlier who calls himself “Mister nCw” Justin Reynolds…Justin you got the whole nCw roster chomping at the bit to humble your sorry ass and I'm so glad that I get to be the man to do it. You hyped yourself up a great deal in your little letter, but I ain't buying the **** you're selling. Even if half of what you said about yourself is true none of it matters one damn bit till you prove it inside the ring and you sure as hell ain't gonna do it at my expense. I didn't come in with the hype or some egotistical nickname but after Ascension they'll be callin' me Mason “The Man Who Beat The Living Piss Out Of Justin Reynolds” St. Croix.[/quote
Static. Just then…
Red Dragon: This Sunday it will be fan favorite Mason St. Croix and a loudmouth Justin Reynolds. Hell Croix will kiss the fans asses just to hear a pop and the other who thinks that he is Mr. NCW going against probably one of the most hated wrestlers in the business. I don’t give a **** if they like me or not just as long as I dismantle my opponent piece by piece until there is nothing left except a broken down body for the paramedics to cart out of the arena. I bet many of your fans will be yelling during the match as I rip you apart that I show you some mercy. If you think that there will be any kind of mercy than your wrong because the only thing that will be shown is rage. I recommend you enjoy your last few days of peace and harmony because when Sunday comes your life will become nothing more than pure hell.
Static. The tape has ended, and Ahmed gets up from his couch and takes the tape out of the VCR, turns around and looks at Justin
Faarquan Ahmed: Well, if you wanted to light a fire under St.Croix and Red Dragon’s asses, mission accomplished
There is a moment of akward silence, which his then broken up by the bellowing laughter from Justin Reynolds.
Justin Reynolds: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Faary, are you freakin kiddin’ me!?
Faarquan Ahmed: Huh?
Justin Reynolds: You think I hadn’t already seen those promos? What, you think I’m retarded or sumthin’?
Faarquan Ahmed: No, I just thought that--
Justin Reynolds: WHAT!? THOUGHT THAT WAS I WAS WHAT!?
Faarquan Ahmed: Nothing it’s just--
Justin Reynolds: JUST WHAT!? Wait, lemme ****ing guess, you think I’m all style and no damn substance, right!?
Faarquan Ahmed: Well--
Justin Reynolds: Well guess what Faary, I will let YOU know, and I will let Mason St.Croix and Red Dragon know, I was UNDEFEATED, 150-0 in my amateur wrestling career! I could’ve been in the Olympics for Christ’s Sake! But I decided to follow my dream, and dream that I WILL accomplish, and that’s become world champion!
Faarquan Ahmed: Well--
Old Guy in the next room: God dammit you kids and yer damn hip hop and skateboards and underage sex, some people are tryin’ tah die here!
Faarquan Ahmed: Sorry Old Man Geoff
Suddenly, knocking is heard at the door.
Pizza Boy: I got a pizza delivery for a Faarquan Ahmed!
Faarquan Ahmed: The crap? I didn’t order a pizza…
Justin Reynolds: Lemme answer it.
Reynolds walks to the door and opens it. Just then, a giant meat cleaver is seen and is stabbed in the direction of Mister nCw, Justin Reynolds, A normal man would’ve been bludgeoned in the heart with that cleaver, but Justin Reynolds is no ordinary man, he moved out of the way as the man failed to stab Justin in the chest, and falls forward onto the floor. Reynolds then shuts the door shut.
Justin Reynolds: What the hell? No pizzas!?
Pizza Boy: No, no damn pizzas Justin.
Justin Reynolds: Oh, hey Algernon, what’s up?
The man we now know as Algernon gets up from the floor. He is around 5’4’’, and 98 lbs, at best. He has thick rimmed glasses and is completely dressed in black.
Faarquan Ahmed: Algernon, did you just try to ****ing kill Justin?
Algernon’s head darts to Faarquan, and is dripping of sweat. It is obvious that Algernon is frantic.
Algernon: OHUHERWELLUMAH…
Justin Reynolds: HAHAHA! God Faarquan you’re SSSSOOOO insecure! Algernon? Kill ME? Who the hell would wanna kill me?
Faarquan Ahmed: Judging by his promo, St.Croix.
Justin Reynolds: Jesus Faary, take a load off and go to bed already! I’ll talk to you by noon, alright?
Faarquan Ahmed: You’re going to sleep too?
Justin Reynolds: Of course! I need a beauty sleep to rest these amazing good looks!
Faarquan Ahmed: Alright, good night.
Justin turns to Algernon.
Justin Reynolds: C’mon Algie, drive me back to my place!
Algernon: Okay, Justin…
Both Algie and Justin walk out of Faarquan’s apartment.
Faarquan Ahmed: Algie’s his limo driver?
The scene switches to inside Justin’s limo. He is of course, in the back with three smokin’ hot women sitting very close to him. The limo window opens up and we see Algie in the driver’s seat.
Algernon: So Justin, which way to we go home now?
Justin Reynolds: Algie, we’re not going home! Geez, we’re going to Club Porky’s!
Algernon: I thought you told Faarquan that you were going to sleep…
Justin Reynolds: Algie let’s be real here, a man of my stature can’t afford to sleep! It’s the only thing I can’t afford! GET IT!?
Reynolds and the three beautiful ladies start laughing as Algie rolls the window back up.
Hot Girl #1: Oh Justin, you’re so sexy!
Justin Reynolds: I know, I know I’m gorgeous.
Hot Girl #2: Oh Justin, I wanna have sex with you!
Justin Reynolds: I know I know, I wanna have sex with me too!
Hot Girl #3: Justin, how does a man…a beautiful, intelligent, funny man like you, befriend a hideous, disgusting freak like your driver?
Justin sighs
Justin Reynolds: I remember it like it was just yesterday…
SIX YEARS AGO
NEWBURY HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR
NEWBURY HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR
Judge: I must say Algernon; your exhibit on the speed of sound is breath taking! I’ve never seen an exhibit like this before!
Algernon: Thank you Principal Williams! I hope I get first place like always!
A FEW HOURS LATER
Judge: And 3rd place goes to Michael Strathum and his exhibit on water!
Applause
Judge: And 2nd place goes to…Algernon Schwartzenflurgin on his exhibit on the speed of sound!
Algernon: WHAT!?!? NO! NNNNNNNNOOOOOO!!! THIS CAN’T BE!!!!!
Algie runs up to the podium
Algernon: GIMME FIRST PLACE DAMMIT!
Judge: No Algernon! You are in second place! Get off the damn stage already!
Algernon: WHO WON FIRST PLACE!?
Judge: First place goes to the team of Justin Reynolds and Faarquan Ahmed and their exhibit on the awesomeness of Justin Reynolds!
Ahmed and Justin are both standing all the way in the back as Ahmed turns to Justin.
Faarquan: I can’t believe we won with that…
Justin: Can’t believe!? It’s an exhibit on me! Everyone loves me!
Algernon: THE AWESOMENESS OF JUSTIN REYNOLDS!?!?!? THAT’S NOT EVEN SCIENCE!
Judge: No but it’s freakin’ awesome. Now Algernon, I have been ashamed to have seen your behavior here at Newbury High! As a result, I am kicking you out, having you tied up to the flag post so people can throw stuff at you and I am having you get your testicles surgically removed!
Algernon: WHAT!?
Random Person in Crowd: HE WON’T NEED ‘EM ANYWAYS!
Judge: Security, take him away!
Two security guards throw Algernon to the ground and drag him out of the school
Algernon: JUSTIN REYNOLDS. I HATE YOU!!! I WISH DEATH UPON YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND CARE!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD ONE DAY I WILL ****ING KILL YOU!!!!!!!
Justin Reynolds: And now he’s my best friend in the whole wide world!
Hot Girl #3: …
Hot Girl #1: Hey Justin, what’s happening with that wrestling thing you were doing?
Justin Reynolds: It’s going great!
Hot Girl #2: Really?
Justin Reynolds: Hell to the yes! I’m already the future of nCw! Hell, everyone employed their already calls me “Mister nCw”. They ALL love me!
Hot Girl #1: Everyone loves you Justin!
Justin Reynolds: Well actually, now that I think about it, not EVERYONE…
Hot Girl #2: What!?
Hot Girl #3: Impossible, no one can hate such a sexy man like you!
Justin Reynolds: Well, it seems that some people CAN, actually hate me. You see, I make my debut tomorrow in a triple threat match against two womenless losers in Mason St. Croix and Red Dragon.
Hot Girl #1: They sound mean…and useless
Justin Reynolds: Yeah, they’re useless, and the reason they’re mean is because they can’t get any women like the one and only, Mister nCW, can get. You see, St. Croix is a dumb hick from Warner Robins, Georgia who used to be a soldier in the army. He “says” he got discharged when he saw a fellow soldier rape some Iraqi girl and beat him halfway to hell, when in reality he was more than likely the one doing the raping. The thing that amazes me is that he comes home and sees his wife banging another guy and gets all pissed off. I mean, have you seen St. Croix’s face!? I can’t blame his wife for doing another guy, I’ll just rip her for even considering to marry that ugly bastard. And to cap it all off, he says to himself “Well in tarnation I found mah wife screwin’ sum other dude when I wuz away hyuck hyuck lemme become a wrestler with all the hodangs and hootananies dat I get I wun’t need her hyuck hyuck hyuck!
Then there is “Red Dragon”. He’s as entertaining as watching paint dry. Oddly enough, he calls himself “Red” Dragon when he has white face paint and doesn’t have any wings. What a fraud. He calls himself “The Minister of Evil”, and talks about how sadistic, violent, and unspeakable he is. Christ it’s like a 5 year old made this guy. And he talks about beating the crap outta me. Wow, I’m shaking in my freakin’ boots, this dude SSSSSSUUUUUURRREEEEE is scary. And to cap it all off, he starts seeing an image of some broad telling him to help her. “Oh Red Dragon, help me! Just kill me already so I don’t have to watch another one of you retarded promos!” But damn, she is pretty hot.
Hot Girl #2: Don’t worry Justin, you’ll win that match just like you won 150 straight amateur wrestling matches!
Justin Reynolds: Don’t worry ladies, those two chumps don’t have the charisma, the looks, the talent, and the intelligence that I have! It’ll be over before you know it!
Justin looks at the driver window
Justin Reynolds: C’mon Algie! Drive faster for Christ’s Sake!
Algernon: I’m driving as fast as I can Justin!
Justin Reynolds: THEN DRIVE FASTER!!!
Algernon hits the gas pedal as the Justin in the girls sink in their seats. Justin cracks open a smile.
Justin Reynolds: Ladies, this’ll be one HELL of a ride!
Justin and the three hot girls start laughing as the scene fades to black
THE END
[/font]THE END