Post by Philip Burns on Aug 14, 2010 14:46:50 GMT -6
“I don’t tape up my wrists and put on my boots every week just hoping to screw somebody out of something they worked hard for. I do it to earn my place. And now, for the first time in my career my place is on top of this business.”
{Philip Burns rolls through the the mean streets of San Antonio in the very same El Camino that he won a few weeks back. The Engine spits and sputters as he takes a left turn down a shady looking road. He pulls up to a group of homeless people standing in the shade near a dumpster. He exits the car, wearing some slick threads and a pair of sweet aviator glasses.}
Philip Burns: I’m looking for Dirty Mike and the boys.
{A hefty man who is particularly dirty turns to face Burns.}
“Who wants to know?”
Philip Burns: I’m Philip Burns, nCw world champion. You must be Dirty Mike then.
Dirty Mike: That’s me. Whats a fancy pants champion like you doing out here in a sweet little ride like that?
{Burns pulls his shades down, looks back at the crappy car and then turns back, putting his sun glasses back into position.}
Philip Burns: This car? I heard you guys were looking for a set of wheels to use as a mobile orgy station. I have no emotional investment in this thing. I won it in a match not too long ago against a filthy red neck piece of trash. No offense.
Dirty Mike: None taken. So what do you want form us then?
Philip Burns: I want you to desecrate this thing as much as you can. I want homeless man DNA to run UP the walls. I want this car to be quarantined by the government due to health concerns.
Dirty Mike: You got it. I don’t understand your requests but I would be glad to honor them.
{Just then Mike Honcho drives up in Burns' Impala. Dirty Mike tries to shake Burns' hand but the champ declines due to sanitary concerns. Burns gets in the Impala and Mike speeds away. The homeless gang surrounds the El Camino and eyeball it hungrily. Suddenly they fling the doors open, jump inside, and slam them shut. Back in the Impala, Mike Honcho talks to Burns.}
Mike Honcho: Damn, I could have used that car. I didn’t know they were going to have a sex party in there.
Philip Burns: DDK has done worse to the world championship. At least I won the car fairly and didn’t steal it like a punk. That car may have been Ron Gibson's for a while but now it belongs Dirty Mike and the boys. I don’t care what they do to it. Nothing could be as bad as the tarnish that Curtis has put on MY championship.
Mike Honcho: I heard he frequently makes love to it.
Philip Burns: don’t tell me that, Mike. I already think the guy is a sick freak anyway.
{They roll past the AT&T center as they head across town to a night club/restaurant. Burns looks up at the marquee outside the passenger window. It reads “World Champion Philip Burns vs. DDK in a triple cage this Sunday!” Burns leans back in the seat and thinks about all those people who told him he would attain the spot he has. Nearly every wrestler on the roster who saw him chomping at the bit, hungry for the main event doubted him. He remembered all those who accused him of being a simple tag team wrestler. Then he remembered the night he became World Champion. He pinned Brad Kane in the most hard fought match he can remember.
How fitting to call this even Ascension. Though he may have won his prize at Picture Perfect, the event was anything but. Finally Burns will get his chance to right the wrongs and prove that he without a doubt the undisputed world champion. Ascending can mean both scaling the cage and claiming a prize and arriving at the top of this business.}
Mike Honcho: There is where it all goes down. You ready for it?
Philip Burns: I’m so tired or not being taken seriously. Before I wont the title, nobody thought I could. Now that DDK has stolen it, everybody laughs about the fact that I held on to it for all of ten seconds. On Sunday I am going to capture both the one he stole and the new one I was given by the championship committee. And when I do I will stand on that third cage and look down to the sea of fans and hold my prize high. At that moment they, and everyone in the back will know that I am the real deal.
{They pull into the local dining establishment and get out of the car. They see a sign for a steak eating contest and Mikes eyes light up. Burns rolls his eyes and agree to try and eat the giant steak with Mike. Like a giddy school girl Mike walks in the door as Burns calmly follows. The scene transfers to forty minutes later. Mike is hard at work on his giant steak. Theres is sauce all over his face and he is having trouble getting the next bite down. He hasn't even bothered to look across the table to see Philip not taking the contest seriously. An attractive waitress sits on his lap, feeding him his next bite. he hasn't eaten nearly as much steak as the Honch has.
A man approcaches and identifies himself as Tod.}
Tod: so, you’re a tough wrestling guy huh? Well I’m a cage fighter. How would you react to the way I kick you in the face tough guy?
{Honcho pays no attention and continues to munch the steak feverishly. Burns tells the waitress to give him and this gentleman a moment.}
Philip Burns: Oh I don’t know. That depends on how you react when you are unable to actually make contact and I put you down on the ground.
Tod: Is that so?
{Philip stands up and gets right in the guys face. The guy is a little bit bigger than him.}
Philip Burns: Oh, its so. And I would love to see you try.
{Most of the patrons clear out or back away at this point and a few of Tod's friends join him. The waitress, who is apparently this guys ex girlfriend pleads with him to go home. Tod goes in for punch but Phil catches the guys first and breaks him down into a hammer lock and shoves him through a doorway to the kitchen. The other two guys try to jump Burns but Honcho casually trips on of them while still eating his steak. Burns promptly kicks the other in the gut and power-bombs him through a table. The one that was tripped get off the ground and goes to punch Mike Honcho. Honcho, never taking his eyes off the steak, picks up scalding hot serving platter off the table behind him and makes the goon punch that. He holds his hand in pain as Burns catches that guy with a DDT.
Tod comes back from the kitchen and swing a right hand at Phil who dodges and nails him with a Burns Notice. The patrons clap as they return to eat their meals. Burns takes the hot server lady bby the hand and walks out. He gives the manager a few hundred bucks on the way out for the damage. Honcho takes his final bite and notices there are still ten minutes left on the challenge timer.}
Mike Honcho: I did it! Suck it steak! Honcho is your master!
{He looks around and doesn’t see Burns. He notices the nearly untouched steak where he was sitting and grabs it. He looks around and is puzzled as to Burns' location until he hears the Impala roar out of the parking lot. He shrugs his shoulders and begins to eat his friends steak although he has already obviously had enough.}
Fade.
{Philip Burns rolls through the the mean streets of San Antonio in the very same El Camino that he won a few weeks back. The Engine spits and sputters as he takes a left turn down a shady looking road. He pulls up to a group of homeless people standing in the shade near a dumpster. He exits the car, wearing some slick threads and a pair of sweet aviator glasses.}
Philip Burns: I’m looking for Dirty Mike and the boys.
{A hefty man who is particularly dirty turns to face Burns.}
“Who wants to know?”
Philip Burns: I’m Philip Burns, nCw world champion. You must be Dirty Mike then.
Dirty Mike: That’s me. Whats a fancy pants champion like you doing out here in a sweet little ride like that?
{Burns pulls his shades down, looks back at the crappy car and then turns back, putting his sun glasses back into position.}
Philip Burns: This car? I heard you guys were looking for a set of wheels to use as a mobile orgy station. I have no emotional investment in this thing. I won it in a match not too long ago against a filthy red neck piece of trash. No offense.
Dirty Mike: None taken. So what do you want form us then?
Philip Burns: I want you to desecrate this thing as much as you can. I want homeless man DNA to run UP the walls. I want this car to be quarantined by the government due to health concerns.
Dirty Mike: You got it. I don’t understand your requests but I would be glad to honor them.
{Just then Mike Honcho drives up in Burns' Impala. Dirty Mike tries to shake Burns' hand but the champ declines due to sanitary concerns. Burns gets in the Impala and Mike speeds away. The homeless gang surrounds the El Camino and eyeball it hungrily. Suddenly they fling the doors open, jump inside, and slam them shut. Back in the Impala, Mike Honcho talks to Burns.}
Mike Honcho: Damn, I could have used that car. I didn’t know they were going to have a sex party in there.
Philip Burns: DDK has done worse to the world championship. At least I won the car fairly and didn’t steal it like a punk. That car may have been Ron Gibson's for a while but now it belongs Dirty Mike and the boys. I don’t care what they do to it. Nothing could be as bad as the tarnish that Curtis has put on MY championship.
Mike Honcho: I heard he frequently makes love to it.
Philip Burns: don’t tell me that, Mike. I already think the guy is a sick freak anyway.
{They roll past the AT&T center as they head across town to a night club/restaurant. Burns looks up at the marquee outside the passenger window. It reads “World Champion Philip Burns vs. DDK in a triple cage this Sunday!” Burns leans back in the seat and thinks about all those people who told him he would attain the spot he has. Nearly every wrestler on the roster who saw him chomping at the bit, hungry for the main event doubted him. He remembered all those who accused him of being a simple tag team wrestler. Then he remembered the night he became World Champion. He pinned Brad Kane in the most hard fought match he can remember.
How fitting to call this even Ascension. Though he may have won his prize at Picture Perfect, the event was anything but. Finally Burns will get his chance to right the wrongs and prove that he without a doubt the undisputed world champion. Ascending can mean both scaling the cage and claiming a prize and arriving at the top of this business.}
Mike Honcho: There is where it all goes down. You ready for it?
Philip Burns: I’m so tired or not being taken seriously. Before I wont the title, nobody thought I could. Now that DDK has stolen it, everybody laughs about the fact that I held on to it for all of ten seconds. On Sunday I am going to capture both the one he stole and the new one I was given by the championship committee. And when I do I will stand on that third cage and look down to the sea of fans and hold my prize high. At that moment they, and everyone in the back will know that I am the real deal.
{They pull into the local dining establishment and get out of the car. They see a sign for a steak eating contest and Mikes eyes light up. Burns rolls his eyes and agree to try and eat the giant steak with Mike. Like a giddy school girl Mike walks in the door as Burns calmly follows. The scene transfers to forty minutes later. Mike is hard at work on his giant steak. Theres is sauce all over his face and he is having trouble getting the next bite down. He hasn't even bothered to look across the table to see Philip not taking the contest seriously. An attractive waitress sits on his lap, feeding him his next bite. he hasn't eaten nearly as much steak as the Honch has.
A man approcaches and identifies himself as Tod.}
Tod: so, you’re a tough wrestling guy huh? Well I’m a cage fighter. How would you react to the way I kick you in the face tough guy?
{Honcho pays no attention and continues to munch the steak feverishly. Burns tells the waitress to give him and this gentleman a moment.}
Philip Burns: Oh I don’t know. That depends on how you react when you are unable to actually make contact and I put you down on the ground.
Tod: Is that so?
{Philip stands up and gets right in the guys face. The guy is a little bit bigger than him.}
Philip Burns: Oh, its so. And I would love to see you try.
{Most of the patrons clear out or back away at this point and a few of Tod's friends join him. The waitress, who is apparently this guys ex girlfriend pleads with him to go home. Tod goes in for punch but Phil catches the guys first and breaks him down into a hammer lock and shoves him through a doorway to the kitchen. The other two guys try to jump Burns but Honcho casually trips on of them while still eating his steak. Burns promptly kicks the other in the gut and power-bombs him through a table. The one that was tripped get off the ground and goes to punch Mike Honcho. Honcho, never taking his eyes off the steak, picks up scalding hot serving platter off the table behind him and makes the goon punch that. He holds his hand in pain as Burns catches that guy with a DDT.
Tod comes back from the kitchen and swing a right hand at Phil who dodges and nails him with a Burns Notice. The patrons clap as they return to eat their meals. Burns takes the hot server lady bby the hand and walks out. He gives the manager a few hundred bucks on the way out for the damage. Honcho takes his final bite and notices there are still ten minutes left on the challenge timer.}
Mike Honcho: I did it! Suck it steak! Honcho is your master!
{He looks around and doesn’t see Burns. He notices the nearly untouched steak where he was sitting and grabs it. He looks around and is puzzled as to Burns' location until he hears the Impala roar out of the parking lot. He shrugs his shoulders and begins to eat his friends steak although he has already obviously had enough.}
Fade.