Post by Brad Kane on Sept 13, 2010 19:46:01 GMT -6
I sit alone outside right now. I'm still not used to seeing the sun at this time. I know its not even seven here yet on the west coast. Been on that east coast time all my life and it's been a struggle. It's been a real struggle these past couple of weeks to get settled in here at the new home. I think everyone likes it though. Chris is making new friends, Lacey is making new friends and Megan loves being able to not have to bundle up in the mornings. Seeing the sunset like this still hasn't gotten old for me. I used to dread the sun going down because it'd have a horrible effect through my bedroom window in Boston. Now it just seems like it doesn't effect anyone unless we're out on the backyard.
Though I don't know my way around this place much. People here are more friendly though and seem to be open to the lifestyle that I have. That whole being a horny man thing didn't go over well in Boston. It's just like I thought it'd be out here, relaxed which is exactly why I moved us out here in the first place. I just wanted a place to sit back and not have to worry about this or that in Boston. Here in San Diego, the only thing that stays on my mind is wondering when I have to fly out for whatever in the hell I get booked for.
I grab my drink and take a sip of it. That cool flavor of a Bud after working out feels a little nice. Yes I'm having a beer, don't flip out over about this. I can enjoy one a day and this is my time to do so. When I'm sitting outside like this. It's like my relaxing time of the day when Megan puts the babies to bed along with Natalie. Evan is probably on his way out soon enough but I hope he gets held up with something. I'm enjoying the quiet at the moment.
I don't think my phone is even on right now. I grab it and press a button. Vibrate, not too bad then. I won't hear anything that'll annoy me. Been a crazy couple of weeks I tell you. And you know what the weird thing about it was? I didn't feel like I missed being in the ring. Not to say that I won't miss it or be all like I'm leaving, peace. It's just that not having to worry about making people happy let me do my own thing. I was able to just sleep in on a Sunday morning. I was able to read the paper on that Sunday morning without having to get interrupted by some nCw agent every five minutes because I'm not at the arena signing things yet for the fans.
Suffice to say that I've enjoyed my two weeks off. Suffice to say that I've been able to enjoy having a beer or two because I know it won't get me wound up like it does on the road. I think this is what people meant by the American Dream. Just being able to relax and enjoy life without the worries of making people happy. Without having to make people think you still care about their feelings or you'll get blackballed by every single promoter in the business.
I don't know if I'd really care if I got blackballed right now. It means I'd be able to stop wrestling and that sounds so good. But there's just one small problem with that. It's called honoring my contract. I can breach it at all without getting sued for a hefty chunk of money. Suppose that's what I get for going against the boss and his lackeys. Not that I wouldn't have the money to pay off their fines and fees and whatever in the hell else they'd throw at me.
Hell...
I could probably buy out nCw. Nah, probably not. I've never really thought about it. I don't think I could handle running a company like that. Seems awfully big for one person. Sure I'd have staff below me but eh, just not my style of doing things. I'd rather be that guy who just sits in the corner during a board meeting and take a nap.
I told you this place relaxed me. I put my beer back down on the table. It's finished. After I burp I stand up and keep looking at the sun, wondering when it'll be down for the night. Maybe I don't really care when it sets just as long as I'm able to see it every night before I go in for the night.
I make the door slide open before me, shutting it. Megan is sitting on the sofa flipping through a magazine. See this time we didn't get a mansion, just a whole block of houses. Thought it'd be a bit more normal for the kids to not have an infinite amount of space to run around in. I sit next to her, putting my arm around her shoulders. She smiles and puts her magazine down to speak to me. At least I think she'll speak to me right now. We haven't talked much lately. I know why but I just don't see the big deal in me thinking about retirement again.
She wants me to keep going. I want to stop. But in order to make a marriage last I gotta say those two words that every man dreads, "Yes dear." Ever since I lost the title to Burns a couple of months ago I just haven't cared anymore. The wind was knocked out of my sails to so speak. Megan thinks I have plenty left to offer but I don't think I do. I'm just an aging one trick pony who's act ran up a few years ago anyways. No one pays to see Brad Kane.
They pay to see Falcon, Steve Awesome, Charlie Velez and pretty much anyone in the matches at Battle Grounds. I'm just tossed in there it seems. I know I was in this whole Revolution thing but it just seems silly because we lose no matter what. We can't win this war no matter how hard we try. That's just the nature of the best so why should I risk my own ass for something I just don't care about. If someone like Andrew pins Ron, that match can be restarted.
Even with Gib running the show in that thing, we'll still ultimately lose and you know what? I'm tired of losing. I'm tired of busting my ass with nothing to show for it. Maybe it's why I don't care anymore. People keep trying to lie to me, telling me that I'm able to draw people into a show. But it's nothing but a lie. We all know it. The sooner you can accept it, the sooner my memory can be let go. Then it's off to fade away into my normal life with my family.
So this Warfare match. I don't care who wins or loses. I'm just looking out for what's best for me. My teammates, meh. My opponents, meh. Everyone else on the show, meh. I mean no one asked me how i was doing when I was moving. The only person who cares lives in the house next to me now. The only person who gives a rat's ass about how I do besides my family is going to win that X Title on Sunday night. One man out of a whole promotion cares about the guy who tried to give it his all numerous times and never got accepted.
Tell me, Revolution, Front Office, nCw. Why should I care about you anymore?
Peace.
Though I don't know my way around this place much. People here are more friendly though and seem to be open to the lifestyle that I have. That whole being a horny man thing didn't go over well in Boston. It's just like I thought it'd be out here, relaxed which is exactly why I moved us out here in the first place. I just wanted a place to sit back and not have to worry about this or that in Boston. Here in San Diego, the only thing that stays on my mind is wondering when I have to fly out for whatever in the hell I get booked for.
I grab my drink and take a sip of it. That cool flavor of a Bud after working out feels a little nice. Yes I'm having a beer, don't flip out over about this. I can enjoy one a day and this is my time to do so. When I'm sitting outside like this. It's like my relaxing time of the day when Megan puts the babies to bed along with Natalie. Evan is probably on his way out soon enough but I hope he gets held up with something. I'm enjoying the quiet at the moment.
I don't think my phone is even on right now. I grab it and press a button. Vibrate, not too bad then. I won't hear anything that'll annoy me. Been a crazy couple of weeks I tell you. And you know what the weird thing about it was? I didn't feel like I missed being in the ring. Not to say that I won't miss it or be all like I'm leaving, peace. It's just that not having to worry about making people happy let me do my own thing. I was able to just sleep in on a Sunday morning. I was able to read the paper on that Sunday morning without having to get interrupted by some nCw agent every five minutes because I'm not at the arena signing things yet for the fans.
Suffice to say that I've enjoyed my two weeks off. Suffice to say that I've been able to enjoy having a beer or two because I know it won't get me wound up like it does on the road. I think this is what people meant by the American Dream. Just being able to relax and enjoy life without the worries of making people happy. Without having to make people think you still care about their feelings or you'll get blackballed by every single promoter in the business.
I don't know if I'd really care if I got blackballed right now. It means I'd be able to stop wrestling and that sounds so good. But there's just one small problem with that. It's called honoring my contract. I can breach it at all without getting sued for a hefty chunk of money. Suppose that's what I get for going against the boss and his lackeys. Not that I wouldn't have the money to pay off their fines and fees and whatever in the hell else they'd throw at me.
Hell...
I could probably buy out nCw. Nah, probably not. I've never really thought about it. I don't think I could handle running a company like that. Seems awfully big for one person. Sure I'd have staff below me but eh, just not my style of doing things. I'd rather be that guy who just sits in the corner during a board meeting and take a nap.
I told you this place relaxed me. I put my beer back down on the table. It's finished. After I burp I stand up and keep looking at the sun, wondering when it'll be down for the night. Maybe I don't really care when it sets just as long as I'm able to see it every night before I go in for the night.
I make the door slide open before me, shutting it. Megan is sitting on the sofa flipping through a magazine. See this time we didn't get a mansion, just a whole block of houses. Thought it'd be a bit more normal for the kids to not have an infinite amount of space to run around in. I sit next to her, putting my arm around her shoulders. She smiles and puts her magazine down to speak to me. At least I think she'll speak to me right now. We haven't talked much lately. I know why but I just don't see the big deal in me thinking about retirement again.
She wants me to keep going. I want to stop. But in order to make a marriage last I gotta say those two words that every man dreads, "Yes dear." Ever since I lost the title to Burns a couple of months ago I just haven't cared anymore. The wind was knocked out of my sails to so speak. Megan thinks I have plenty left to offer but I don't think I do. I'm just an aging one trick pony who's act ran up a few years ago anyways. No one pays to see Brad Kane.
They pay to see Falcon, Steve Awesome, Charlie Velez and pretty much anyone in the matches at Battle Grounds. I'm just tossed in there it seems. I know I was in this whole Revolution thing but it just seems silly because we lose no matter what. We can't win this war no matter how hard we try. That's just the nature of the best so why should I risk my own ass for something I just don't care about. If someone like Andrew pins Ron, that match can be restarted.
Even with Gib running the show in that thing, we'll still ultimately lose and you know what? I'm tired of losing. I'm tired of busting my ass with nothing to show for it. Maybe it's why I don't care anymore. People keep trying to lie to me, telling me that I'm able to draw people into a show. But it's nothing but a lie. We all know it. The sooner you can accept it, the sooner my memory can be let go. Then it's off to fade away into my normal life with my family.
So this Warfare match. I don't care who wins or loses. I'm just looking out for what's best for me. My teammates, meh. My opponents, meh. Everyone else on the show, meh. I mean no one asked me how i was doing when I was moving. The only person who cares lives in the house next to me now. The only person who gives a rat's ass about how I do besides my family is going to win that X Title on Sunday night. One man out of a whole promotion cares about the guy who tried to give it his all numerous times and never got accepted.
Tell me, Revolution, Front Office, nCw. Why should I care about you anymore?
Peace.