Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Sept 16, 2010 20:29:39 GMT -6
*We open in the halls of a hospital. The camera is focused on a door that's cracked open. We can hear a heart monitor going through the "beep beep bepp" patern.*
DDK Voice over: You know, it's a funny thing, these hospitals. It's a place I don't really want to be, but it's a place I love to send others.
*The camera moves closer and closer to the door.*
DDK Voice over: And yet, I've been here so often. I know all the nuances. I know how it all works, how it all comes together. I know how to get in and out pretty easily.
*The door opens slowly and we see DDK sitting at someone's bedside. He looks into the camera.*
DDK: And having connections from my CEO days, it was pretty easy to find where my good buddy Lance was staying at.
*DDK grabs the hand close to him and pats it sympathetically. The camera pans over to see it is indeed Lance Ryan passed out.*
DDK: So turns out I gave Lance a coma. Fancy that. He's still out like a vegetable. In this condition, he'd still be a better fight than Hexx though. Ha! Get it buddy?
*DDK nudges Lance's prone body with his elbow.*
DDK: More likely to show up than Mark Evil! GET IT!?
*DDK nudges again. The heart monitor beep accelerate slightly.*
DDK: STILL MORE ENTERTAINING THAN PHILIP BURNS! HA HA HA HA!
*DDK nudges Lance a few more times, laughing the whole time.*
DDK: Oh, that was good, that was good.
*DDK wipes away a few tears from laughter. The monitor goes back to normal beeping.*
DDK: No but Lance, seriously, I want you to know man, no hard feelings. It's all just business. I'm sure you hate it here. I'm sure you'd rather be with your family. I've been in the same situation, I get it. But I'm not heartless you know. I'll make sure to get you some company. Because I'm going to fight our good friend Mr. Burns this Sunday, and when I'm through, I'll make sure he gets a bed right next to you pal!
*DDK pats Lance on the head. He then leans in closer.*
DDK: Because you know what Lance, Phil's life...it rests in my hands...just like yours. You got in my way...and now you're here. Phillip and his "honor rules" are the only thing between me and that world title. You know I'm crazy, I'm dirty, I'm just plain dangerous. Within the confines of those rules, I will find a way to hurt him beyond belief. Hopefully, even end him. Because I am the best there is at what I do, and what I do, is maim people. You know this well Lance. I'd ask you to warn Phil, but you can't, can you? It's okay though, don't worry, I got it. Just like I got you Lance. Your life is in my hands...
*The heart monitor suddenly flatlines.*
DDK: OH NOES! What's going on! Somebuddy come help! Someone quickly! DON'T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT LANCE! DON'T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT!
*DDK shakes Lance. He then starts cracking up.*
DDK: I'm just messing with you man, I pulled the cord off of ya! Here ya go.
*DDK places the node back on Lance and the heart monitor goes back to beeping.*
DDK: Man, you should have seen the look on your face! Classic dude! Just classic. Good thing you have free health care here. Oh man, good times. You see, I could be having this kind of fun with you and Phil after Sunday. But I have to admit, I probably won't have time to, you know, since I'll be world champion and all. You know how that is. But trust me on this Lance, when I'm finished with Phil, he will never...EEEEEEVAR...be the same, agayn! Aw man, I've been here too long, I'm starting to talk Canadianese! I guess I should roll out before you weirdos infect me further. Stay classy Lance.
*DDK gets up and Lance's machine flatlines again!*
DDK: Lance! I didn't know you cared buddy! I can't stay!
*DDK puts the monitor back on. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again. He repeats until a man opens the door.*
Male Nurse: What the hell are you doing, eh?!
DDK: I'm writing "Burns sucks" in Morse code!
Male Nurse: That is despicable, you can't touch these machines, eh! Plus, visiting hours are over! How'd you even get in here, eh!
DDK: That's for me to know and you to shut up!
Male Nurse: I'm calling security!
DDK: Wait! I'm sorry! But if you must, tell them...BANG!
*DDK charges and hits the male nurse with the BANG! He flies into the wall, leaving a hole where his back was. DDK gets up and brushes off the plaster.*
DDK: Looks like I still got it Lance, ol' buddy ol' pal! You're going to need to get that fixed by the way. Listen, when I send Phil over to stay with you, be sure to treat him well. He's going to need all the help he can get. Also, if either of you start walking again, well, stay out of my way, or else you'll get BANGED! Chow.
*DDK winks at Lance and then runs out the door. We're left on the somber image of Lance Ryan laying in his bed as the monitor continues to beep in a normal rhythm. The scene slowly fades out.*
DDK Voice over: You know, it's a funny thing, these hospitals. It's a place I don't really want to be, but it's a place I love to send others.
*The camera moves closer and closer to the door.*
DDK Voice over: And yet, I've been here so often. I know all the nuances. I know how it all works, how it all comes together. I know how to get in and out pretty easily.
*The door opens slowly and we see DDK sitting at someone's bedside. He looks into the camera.*
DDK: And having connections from my CEO days, it was pretty easy to find where my good buddy Lance was staying at.
*DDK grabs the hand close to him and pats it sympathetically. The camera pans over to see it is indeed Lance Ryan passed out.*
DDK: So turns out I gave Lance a coma. Fancy that. He's still out like a vegetable. In this condition, he'd still be a better fight than Hexx though. Ha! Get it buddy?
*DDK nudges Lance's prone body with his elbow.*
DDK: More likely to show up than Mark Evil! GET IT!?
*DDK nudges again. The heart monitor beep accelerate slightly.*
DDK: STILL MORE ENTERTAINING THAN PHILIP BURNS! HA HA HA HA!
*DDK nudges Lance a few more times, laughing the whole time.*
DDK: Oh, that was good, that was good.
*DDK wipes away a few tears from laughter. The monitor goes back to normal beeping.*
DDK: No but Lance, seriously, I want you to know man, no hard feelings. It's all just business. I'm sure you hate it here. I'm sure you'd rather be with your family. I've been in the same situation, I get it. But I'm not heartless you know. I'll make sure to get you some company. Because I'm going to fight our good friend Mr. Burns this Sunday, and when I'm through, I'll make sure he gets a bed right next to you pal!
*DDK pats Lance on the head. He then leans in closer.*
DDK: Because you know what Lance, Phil's life...it rests in my hands...just like yours. You got in my way...and now you're here. Phillip and his "honor rules" are the only thing between me and that world title. You know I'm crazy, I'm dirty, I'm just plain dangerous. Within the confines of those rules, I will find a way to hurt him beyond belief. Hopefully, even end him. Because I am the best there is at what I do, and what I do, is maim people. You know this well Lance. I'd ask you to warn Phil, but you can't, can you? It's okay though, don't worry, I got it. Just like I got you Lance. Your life is in my hands...
*The heart monitor suddenly flatlines.*
DDK: OH NOES! What's going on! Somebuddy come help! Someone quickly! DON'T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT LANCE! DON'T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT!
*DDK shakes Lance. He then starts cracking up.*
DDK: I'm just messing with you man, I pulled the cord off of ya! Here ya go.
*DDK places the node back on Lance and the heart monitor goes back to beeping.*
DDK: Man, you should have seen the look on your face! Classic dude! Just classic. Good thing you have free health care here. Oh man, good times. You see, I could be having this kind of fun with you and Phil after Sunday. But I have to admit, I probably won't have time to, you know, since I'll be world champion and all. You know how that is. But trust me on this Lance, when I'm finished with Phil, he will never...EEEEEEVAR...be the same, agayn! Aw man, I've been here too long, I'm starting to talk Canadianese! I guess I should roll out before you weirdos infect me further. Stay classy Lance.
*DDK gets up and Lance's machine flatlines again!*
DDK: Lance! I didn't know you cared buddy! I can't stay!
*DDK puts the monitor back on. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again. He repeats until a man opens the door.*
Male Nurse: What the hell are you doing, eh?!
DDK: I'm writing "Burns sucks" in Morse code!
Male Nurse: That is despicable, you can't touch these machines, eh! Plus, visiting hours are over! How'd you even get in here, eh!
DDK: That's for me to know and you to shut up!
Male Nurse: I'm calling security!
DDK: Wait! I'm sorry! But if you must, tell them...BANG!
*DDK charges and hits the male nurse with the BANG! He flies into the wall, leaving a hole where his back was. DDK gets up and brushes off the plaster.*
DDK: Looks like I still got it Lance, ol' buddy ol' pal! You're going to need to get that fixed by the way. Listen, when I send Phil over to stay with you, be sure to treat him well. He's going to need all the help he can get. Also, if either of you start walking again, well, stay out of my way, or else you'll get BANGED! Chow.
*DDK winks at Lance and then runs out the door. We're left on the somber image of Lance Ryan laying in his bed as the monitor continues to beep in a normal rhythm. The scene slowly fades out.*