Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Oct 20, 2010 18:49:35 GMT -6
*We open in on DDK practicing on the punching bag at the gym. He's got a bandage on his forehead and the world title around his waist. He looks pretty sweaty, and sexy. He slows down when he notices the camera.*
DDK: Oh, I see you're here.
*DDK picks up a towel and wipes off his forehead.*
DDK: Just getting ready for the big fight. You know the one, it's been talked about all month long. Me, you're world champion, versus the winner of the Road to the Gold tournament. So I must prepare for the fight of my life! A man who survived all the others. I will destroy Charlie Velez and all he holds dear. I will break him in two! I will smash his bones into a fine powder! And all while holding my breath because he smells odd. STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! NO MERCY!
*GQ walks up and taps DDK on the shoulder.*
GQ: Uh, dude, it's Dave Holland, not Charlie Velez.
DDK: Oh yeah! That explains why I hit Dave with the BANG! I was just preparing for Charlie to be synonymous with the Road to the Gold winner because he was the odds on favorite. Jeez, Dave must have pissed off a lot of bookies, had to pay out big for that one.
GQ: Also bets, I lost twenty bucks in the office pool! But I;ll win it back and then some for betting on you champ. Because everyone else is betting against you.
DDK: Well that's not smart. Looks like I'll be pissing off all the office pools.
*DDK punches the punching bag yet again, this time with full force.*
DDK: I see how it is...everyone is against me, again. But I have the support of my DDKaniacs! And my awesome skills!
GQ: Yeah...awesome.
DDK: Shut up. Dave, I know you're out there. I bet I can guess what's going through your head about Sunday. You think because you fought your way through a tournament, it's meant to be. You're finally fighting in the championship round, you took on all comers when no one even considered you a contender. We're going to fight, I'll injure your leg, you'll regroup, then we fight again. When things look bleak for me, GQ will tell me to sweep the leg. I will, then you dodge my next few attacks, hit me with a crane kick, win the title, I get up and yell "you're all right Holland!" Then your girlfriend runs in and gives you a hug. Then we cut to Mr. Miyagi who winks at the camera...and then the credits roll.
GQ: That sounds like a good ending.
DDK: No it doesn't! Trust me Dave, that will not happen! You will not get the happy ending. You can't kiss the girl! I will maim you! Fear does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO, SIR!
DDK: Pain does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO, SIR!
DDK: Defeat does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO SIR!
DDK: And GQ is just here to look at other dudes, isn't he?
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
DDK: Sure, sure. But Dave, I feel ya dawg. I know where you're coming from. We're practically cut from the same cloth you and I. We're each half of a legendary tag team. We each had a partner we had to carry to get to the top. We each excel far greater without their baggage. You and I each took on more than people thought we could and we won when no one expected it. The only difference is, now everyone expects you to win. Not without good reason I suppose. I mean, you did just win a big tournament and all. Yet, they forget about my accomplishments. I could have sat at home all month and been well rested to take you on after you scratched and clawed you way to victory. Instead, I created the second chance challenge and took on guys who saw their dreams get crushed, only to offer them a chance at redemption, which should make them fight harder. They did. But I still held them at bay, at least until that last one. I tell you, that Evan kid must have been on drugs or something, because there was at least four times he really should have been bleeding. But he made me bleed first, and it was gushing like crazy. Probably all the beer I drank. So I'm sure he's at least hoping I win, so he can challenge me. But I'm sure AJ and Hugo are pulling for you so they can at least try and get a title shot. But why am I talking about all them, who cares? You beat the National Champion, and Velez, and two other people I don't care to look up, to get this shot!
GQ: I could look it up.
DDK: I don't care.
GQ: It's easy really, I could just--
DDK: No, it's just...I don't care.
GQ: But it's really simple for me to--
DDK: I just really don't care! Stop talking. You see Dave, here's some simple facts, I hear all the time, "Oh, Phil sucked as a champ, Brad sucked as a champ, so if you are now the champ, you too must suck." My challenge was to prove myself, I'm the freaking world champion, and I had to prove myself. It seems obvious from all the nay sayers in the back that they don't see the world title all that highly when they dog the former champs. Brads an amazing striker, especially with the legs, he's just also an asshole. Phil was probably the best pure wrestler on the roster, just boring as hell. Yet everyone takes a dump on the belt. So if they talk about me that way, they're going to talk about you that way in the event that you somehow actually beat me. Or I could go on to destroy you like I plan and make myself look even bigger. Because I took on guys that were in Road to the Gold and had outstanding matches every week. Trying to show them my awesomeness and bring the competition up, because as champion, I have to make the company look good. I know you won this tournament even though no one believed in you, and I know you're going to bring the best fight you can, so I'm not worried about that Dave. I'm not. Because you won the Road to the Gold, you're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down! Try your best to win them all, and one day time will tell, when you're the one that's standing there, you'll reach the final bell! I know, I have that song running through my head all the time too! Once again, that's why we're alike you and I. So what happens when two dudes with attitudes who are the best around clash!? What happens? Does the guy no one thinks will win even though he's the champ win? Or does the guy who no one thought would win the tournament wins? I'm looking forward to going toe to toe with you Dave, because we've clashed in tag team matches before. I helped put your brother in a coma and chase you out of the last fed we were in together. Could history repeat? Or maybe like our last tag team encounter where you guys got the duke against a team that had been broken up for awhile? Could it repeat that way? Only one way to find out, but whichever way it goes, all that's important is that NCW gets better for it.
GQ: Wow, that's very noble of you.
DDK: Well yes, but everyone knows that I'm super mega ratings so in truth, I really am the best for NCW.
GQ: Never mind what I said.
DDK: So really, everyone is voting against me?
GQ: Just about. You have a few supporters.
DDK: Does no one realize I'm tied for first in the NCW.com power rankings?
GQ: I guess no one really pays attention to it.
DDK: Well, then its time to prove some bitches wrong...again.
*DDK wraps his towel behind his neck and he and GQ start to walk off.*
DDK: Oh...should I do that thing?
GQ: What thing?
DDK: You know, that thing. It's not a stale running gag yet is it?
GQ: Oh, that. I'm not sure. I did the not gay thing earlier, that's still a fresh running gag.
DDK: That's a gag? I thought you were really...
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
DDK: All right, well if you will, I will...
*DDK turns around and runs at the camera. He delivers the BANG! to the camera man, sending him flying back. The camera flies in the air and bounces off a pull up bar before falling to the floor and cutting to fuzz.*
DDK: Oh, I see you're here.
*DDK picks up a towel and wipes off his forehead.*
DDK: Just getting ready for the big fight. You know the one, it's been talked about all month long. Me, you're world champion, versus the winner of the Road to the Gold tournament. So I must prepare for the fight of my life! A man who survived all the others. I will destroy Charlie Velez and all he holds dear. I will break him in two! I will smash his bones into a fine powder! And all while holding my breath because he smells odd. STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! NO MERCY!
*GQ walks up and taps DDK on the shoulder.*
GQ: Uh, dude, it's Dave Holland, not Charlie Velez.
DDK: Oh yeah! That explains why I hit Dave with the BANG! I was just preparing for Charlie to be synonymous with the Road to the Gold winner because he was the odds on favorite. Jeez, Dave must have pissed off a lot of bookies, had to pay out big for that one.
GQ: Also bets, I lost twenty bucks in the office pool! But I;ll win it back and then some for betting on you champ. Because everyone else is betting against you.
DDK: Well that's not smart. Looks like I'll be pissing off all the office pools.
*DDK punches the punching bag yet again, this time with full force.*
DDK: I see how it is...everyone is against me, again. But I have the support of my DDKaniacs! And my awesome skills!
GQ: Yeah...awesome.
DDK: Shut up. Dave, I know you're out there. I bet I can guess what's going through your head about Sunday. You think because you fought your way through a tournament, it's meant to be. You're finally fighting in the championship round, you took on all comers when no one even considered you a contender. We're going to fight, I'll injure your leg, you'll regroup, then we fight again. When things look bleak for me, GQ will tell me to sweep the leg. I will, then you dodge my next few attacks, hit me with a crane kick, win the title, I get up and yell "you're all right Holland!" Then your girlfriend runs in and gives you a hug. Then we cut to Mr. Miyagi who winks at the camera...and then the credits roll.
GQ: That sounds like a good ending.
DDK: No it doesn't! Trust me Dave, that will not happen! You will not get the happy ending. You can't kiss the girl! I will maim you! Fear does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO, SIR!
DDK: Pain does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO, SIR!
DDK: Defeat does not exist in me, does it?
GQ: NO SIR!
DDK: And GQ is just here to look at other dudes, isn't he?
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
DDK: Sure, sure. But Dave, I feel ya dawg. I know where you're coming from. We're practically cut from the same cloth you and I. We're each half of a legendary tag team. We each had a partner we had to carry to get to the top. We each excel far greater without their baggage. You and I each took on more than people thought we could and we won when no one expected it. The only difference is, now everyone expects you to win. Not without good reason I suppose. I mean, you did just win a big tournament and all. Yet, they forget about my accomplishments. I could have sat at home all month and been well rested to take you on after you scratched and clawed you way to victory. Instead, I created the second chance challenge and took on guys who saw their dreams get crushed, only to offer them a chance at redemption, which should make them fight harder. They did. But I still held them at bay, at least until that last one. I tell you, that Evan kid must have been on drugs or something, because there was at least four times he really should have been bleeding. But he made me bleed first, and it was gushing like crazy. Probably all the beer I drank. So I'm sure he's at least hoping I win, so he can challenge me. But I'm sure AJ and Hugo are pulling for you so they can at least try and get a title shot. But why am I talking about all them, who cares? You beat the National Champion, and Velez, and two other people I don't care to look up, to get this shot!
GQ: I could look it up.
DDK: I don't care.
GQ: It's easy really, I could just--
DDK: No, it's just...I don't care.
GQ: But it's really simple for me to--
DDK: I just really don't care! Stop talking. You see Dave, here's some simple facts, I hear all the time, "Oh, Phil sucked as a champ, Brad sucked as a champ, so if you are now the champ, you too must suck." My challenge was to prove myself, I'm the freaking world champion, and I had to prove myself. It seems obvious from all the nay sayers in the back that they don't see the world title all that highly when they dog the former champs. Brads an amazing striker, especially with the legs, he's just also an asshole. Phil was probably the best pure wrestler on the roster, just boring as hell. Yet everyone takes a dump on the belt. So if they talk about me that way, they're going to talk about you that way in the event that you somehow actually beat me. Or I could go on to destroy you like I plan and make myself look even bigger. Because I took on guys that were in Road to the Gold and had outstanding matches every week. Trying to show them my awesomeness and bring the competition up, because as champion, I have to make the company look good. I know you won this tournament even though no one believed in you, and I know you're going to bring the best fight you can, so I'm not worried about that Dave. I'm not. Because you won the Road to the Gold, you're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down! Try your best to win them all, and one day time will tell, when you're the one that's standing there, you'll reach the final bell! I know, I have that song running through my head all the time too! Once again, that's why we're alike you and I. So what happens when two dudes with attitudes who are the best around clash!? What happens? Does the guy no one thinks will win even though he's the champ win? Or does the guy who no one thought would win the tournament wins? I'm looking forward to going toe to toe with you Dave, because we've clashed in tag team matches before. I helped put your brother in a coma and chase you out of the last fed we were in together. Could history repeat? Or maybe like our last tag team encounter where you guys got the duke against a team that had been broken up for awhile? Could it repeat that way? Only one way to find out, but whichever way it goes, all that's important is that NCW gets better for it.
GQ: Wow, that's very noble of you.
DDK: Well yes, but everyone knows that I'm super mega ratings so in truth, I really am the best for NCW.
GQ: Never mind what I said.
DDK: So really, everyone is voting against me?
GQ: Just about. You have a few supporters.
DDK: Does no one realize I'm tied for first in the NCW.com power rankings?
GQ: I guess no one really pays attention to it.
DDK: Well, then its time to prove some bitches wrong...again.
*DDK wraps his towel behind his neck and he and GQ start to walk off.*
DDK: Oh...should I do that thing?
GQ: What thing?
DDK: You know, that thing. It's not a stale running gag yet is it?
GQ: Oh, that. I'm not sure. I did the not gay thing earlier, that's still a fresh running gag.
DDK: That's a gag? I thought you were really...
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
DDK: All right, well if you will, I will...
*DDK turns around and runs at the camera. He delivers the BANG! to the camera man, sending him flying back. The camera flies in the air and bounces off a pull up bar before falling to the floor and cutting to fuzz.*