Post by Freakke on Oct 21, 2010 16:14:32 GMT -6
A TV sat in the view of the camera. It sat there, silent and dark...and alone. It was an old TV. One with knobs and switches and no apparent remote control. It sat there alone for a few good moments until a single hand came in and twisted the top knob, turning it on. It was a simple hand. No marks or scars. No hair. Apparently a man's hand. This single hand was there for several seconds, and serves no other purpose than to turn the knobs on this TV in the promo. The television flickered on and the hand left view.
Channel-001
The static gave way to a cheesy children's TV show set. Then, there was a yellow dinosaur. It had a pink heart on his chest. It was about to say something when out of nowhere, Freakke the Clown came out from the side of the stage and punched it in the maw so hard its head went around backwards.
”You can thank me later because I have a Public Service Announcement paid for by The Society of Persons Against Stupid Television Idiotizing Children. SPASTIC...wait...”
Channel-002
Again Freakke was sitting on a desk in an office environment as if he belonged there. He turned to the camera and again seemed to be doing some kind of commercial.
”Do you have random incidents of violence insurance? No, then pay attention because Fre-ico can insure you for less than most places we'll sell you a paper clip. Been suddenly and violently Banged by DDK? You're covered. Randomly hit in the face by a steel chair? We cover that. Have a run in with Jason Blair? No? Well of course not. What am I thinking? Our company handles all incidents of Jason Blair before they even happen.”
-Dramatic Reenactment-
Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion are all on the Golden brick Road when out of nowhere Jason Blair impersonator leaps onto the street frightening them all.
“I'll get you my pret-...”
Before he could finish a group of guys in Freakke paint ambush 'Blair' and beat the snot out of him as the group looks at each other and shrugs. They then skip onwards to Road to the Gold.
-Back to the Commercial-
”Can you really afford to go without Fre-ico RAV insurance? Does Grisly Adams shave?”
Channel-003
The Freakke-sons. The theme music doesn't even barely get started as the channel changes.
Channel-004
'And now back to...All My Freakke's'
Freakke stood there in the middle of the soap opera set and looked to the camera.
”Change the channel...change it now.”
Channel-005
We look now upon Leonne Tres, champion golfer on hole 7. He's having issues thinking about how to make a shot when a golf cart pulls up and Doctor Dream and Freakke step out before it stops. Confusion erupts as the Golf Association looks to see how this has happened.
”Excuse us. We're just gonna play through really quick. It'll only take a second.”
Doctor Dream sets his ball in the ground and eyes it all up.
”I'm still not enamored with this game Mic.”
”Shhh. Just let it grow on you. Be the ball and all that. Besides, don't you have a promo to be cutting?”
”Yeah about that.”
”I don't want to know.”
”Whatever. Just hit the ball already.”
”Just relax. So what are you planning for Blair should he go postal with a chair? Guy like that's bound to try something.”
”Same old trite me. I'm gonna do the unpredictable.”
”Like what?”
”Do something predictable.”
Dr. Dream looked at Freakke for a moment and chuckled. He then reared back and hit the ball off and only just off of the fairway but yards from the green.
”I'm gonna guess I'll birdy this one.”
Freakke stepped up and took his ball and slung his club over his shoulder.
”Just play it right Chuck.”
Freakke instead just tosses the ball up and swings his club. The two connect low to the ground and it sails off, landing on the fairway and bouncing in just a few yards short of Doctor Dreams ball.
”Thank you gentlemen. See you at the club.”
The two wrestlers then entered the golf cart and drove off. The camera then shifted to the announcers who then delivered there analysis.
Channel-006
A round table discussion is being held by four different super imposed Freakkes.
”Alright now I understand what your saying but...”
”Just listen for a second. Jason Blair is a talented individual but he relies too much on dirty tricks and underhanded tactics to pose a serious threat in a match without them.”
”But that's not what we were arguing about. The argument is should he be put away with the Smiledriver, BTD, the Yoshi Tonic, or should we make the *bleep*ard tap with the Straight Jacket?”
”Wait...why the hell are there four of us?”
The group suddenly stopped and they each looked around. Only one shrugged though.
”So we're in agreement Jason Blair is getting his ass kicked. Its just how do we finish the job off? Right?”
”Yeah sure. That works....I'm telling you the Smiledriver is the staple mov...”
The group was arguing too hard to differentiate what they were saying beyond that.
Channel-007
This Summer
Return to the Action
A man in a suit can be seen straightening his tie but nothing beyond that. His face is too obscured.
Return to Adventure
Now he's adjusting his watch.
Here comes Freakke in
Freakke walks out from the left and reveals he is the guy in the suit. He then pulls out a Walther PPK and shoots the camera. Then he does some spinny moves with the gun as the focus falls down.
Generic Bond Title Rip Off 6
Watch him beat Jason Blair senseless in the ring
Watch him hoist the National Title after a successful defense
Watch Freakke eat Ramen noodles
Scene cut too Freakke back stage a couple of weeks ago eating Ramen noodles and joking with some of the other guys waiting for there matches. The sounds is really bad but not much is going on but everyone is laughing but one guy who is a little shocked but joins in, apparently getting over the joke at his expense.
It will be Epic
Channel-Q
A blank screen saw Freakke just standing there. He shrugged once and then turned to face the camera.
”Some of you might be wondering if any of this follows a relative plot or base concept...it doesn't. In all truth, it is just a bunch of little skits thrown together to amuse you and remind you that your resident clown champion is champion for a reason. That reason is also the reason he is going into this match with intentions of coming out still wearing this belt, despite any tricks or thoughts my opponent may have otherwise. Jason Blair is a decidedly dangerous opponent. If I let him, he wouldn't go for the belt, or the win. Jason Blair is one of those that wants to prove points and destroy his enemies. Which means I know the targets on my back. The target was on my back before and I hadn't even done anything to him. Now, its on me again and this time he wants revenge for m little psychotic retaliations.”
Freakke sighed and sat down on the floor.
”He wants my belt and my pride. He wants to destroy me for our passed crossings. Well, I'm something of a history buff so I have one thing to say to all that. Quoting a General once backed into a corner...”
Freakke smirked and the camera zoomed in on his face.
”Nuts.”
Channel-056
Out of nowhere, Freakke's voice blaired like a monster truck announcer.
”SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!!”
Cheesy 80's effects and zooming in and out screen come with some filtered nCw action.
”ROAD TO THE GOLD!!!”
Dave Holland and DDK are both spotlighted.
”TITLE MATCHES GALORE!!!”
Mike Honcho and Maniac are shown next. Followed by Blood Ties and the Rat Pack. Zelda Knite and Emma Danielson are next. Jason Blair and Freakke are shown last, but Jason has X's over his eyes.
”FOR ONLY *cough*50*hack* DOLLARS AN ORDER. 10% DISCOUNT WHEN YOU BUY THE NEW FREAKKE T-SHIRT!”
The shirt is shown briefly and then nothing again.
”ONLY THIS SUNDAY! IN LAS VEGAS!!!”
One last image is shown of Jason Blair after Freakke had slapped face paint all over him but before the trashcan.
Channel-013
Nightmare on Freakke Street 17: Are You Freakke-ing Kidding Me?
A group of Scooby Doo Mystery Gang knock offs are sitting there looking at the script, almost blatantly ignoring that they're wasting film.
“OK, what the hell is going on?”
“Wait, was this written by an idiot.”
“There's more blood in two scenes of this movies than most films.”
“Ruh-Roh Rhaggy.”
“No dude your line is 'Oh god the blinding horrible pain...”
”Nope that's your line.”
“I'll stop this horrible dark evil thing!”
Jason Blair impersonator is there again, but Freakke just bats him away. Everyone just shrugs and goes on with their business.
”So, who wants pizza?”
The television then went black. It turned to Freakke sitting in an arm chair.
”I hate re-runs.”
He got up and the camera followed him to the door.
”Well gents and ladies, its been a pleasure. Yes, I really do intend beating Jason Blair fair and square to put this all away once and for all. I plan on retaining my belt. Will it be a hard fought battle...yes. Will I falter? No.”
Freakke watched as they went out the front door and he stood ready to say goodbye.
”Even if it were three on one I would give my best and do what needs done. Even battered, broken, and bruised, the Carnival King will rise to any challenge. Will not give up, and will win out in the end.”
He smirked and that was that.
”Till next time, cretins.”
Channel-001
The static gave way to a cheesy children's TV show set. Then, there was a yellow dinosaur. It had a pink heart on his chest. It was about to say something when out of nowhere, Freakke the Clown came out from the side of the stage and punched it in the maw so hard its head went around backwards.
”You can thank me later because I have a Public Service Announcement paid for by The Society of Persons Against Stupid Television Idiotizing Children. SPASTIC...wait...”
Channel-002
Again Freakke was sitting on a desk in an office environment as if he belonged there. He turned to the camera and again seemed to be doing some kind of commercial.
”Do you have random incidents of violence insurance? No, then pay attention because Fre-ico can insure you for less than most places we'll sell you a paper clip. Been suddenly and violently Banged by DDK? You're covered. Randomly hit in the face by a steel chair? We cover that. Have a run in with Jason Blair? No? Well of course not. What am I thinking? Our company handles all incidents of Jason Blair before they even happen.”
-Dramatic Reenactment-
Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion are all on the Golden brick Road when out of nowhere Jason Blair impersonator leaps onto the street frightening them all.
“I'll get you my pret-...”
Before he could finish a group of guys in Freakke paint ambush 'Blair' and beat the snot out of him as the group looks at each other and shrugs. They then skip onwards to Road to the Gold.
-Back to the Commercial-
”Can you really afford to go without Fre-ico RAV insurance? Does Grisly Adams shave?”
Channel-003
The Freakke-sons. The theme music doesn't even barely get started as the channel changes.
Channel-004
'And now back to...All My Freakke's'
Freakke stood there in the middle of the soap opera set and looked to the camera.
”Change the channel...change it now.”
Channel-005
We look now upon Leonne Tres, champion golfer on hole 7. He's having issues thinking about how to make a shot when a golf cart pulls up and Doctor Dream and Freakke step out before it stops. Confusion erupts as the Golf Association looks to see how this has happened.
”Excuse us. We're just gonna play through really quick. It'll only take a second.”
Doctor Dream sets his ball in the ground and eyes it all up.
”I'm still not enamored with this game Mic.”
”Shhh. Just let it grow on you. Be the ball and all that. Besides, don't you have a promo to be cutting?”
”Yeah about that.”
”I don't want to know.”
”Whatever. Just hit the ball already.”
”Just relax. So what are you planning for Blair should he go postal with a chair? Guy like that's bound to try something.”
”Same old trite me. I'm gonna do the unpredictable.”
”Like what?”
”Do something predictable.”
Dr. Dream looked at Freakke for a moment and chuckled. He then reared back and hit the ball off and only just off of the fairway but yards from the green.
”I'm gonna guess I'll birdy this one.”
Freakke stepped up and took his ball and slung his club over his shoulder.
”Just play it right Chuck.”
Freakke instead just tosses the ball up and swings his club. The two connect low to the ground and it sails off, landing on the fairway and bouncing in just a few yards short of Doctor Dreams ball.
”Thank you gentlemen. See you at the club.”
The two wrestlers then entered the golf cart and drove off. The camera then shifted to the announcers who then delivered there analysis.
Channel-006
A round table discussion is being held by four different super imposed Freakkes.
”Alright now I understand what your saying but...”
”Just listen for a second. Jason Blair is a talented individual but he relies too much on dirty tricks and underhanded tactics to pose a serious threat in a match without them.”
”But that's not what we were arguing about. The argument is should he be put away with the Smiledriver, BTD, the Yoshi Tonic, or should we make the *bleep*ard tap with the Straight Jacket?”
”Wait...why the hell are there four of us?”
The group suddenly stopped and they each looked around. Only one shrugged though.
”So we're in agreement Jason Blair is getting his ass kicked. Its just how do we finish the job off? Right?”
”Yeah sure. That works....I'm telling you the Smiledriver is the staple mov...”
The group was arguing too hard to differentiate what they were saying beyond that.
Channel-007
This Summer
Return to the Action
A man in a suit can be seen straightening his tie but nothing beyond that. His face is too obscured.
Return to Adventure
Now he's adjusting his watch.
Here comes Freakke in
Freakke walks out from the left and reveals he is the guy in the suit. He then pulls out a Walther PPK and shoots the camera. Then he does some spinny moves with the gun as the focus falls down.
Generic Bond Title Rip Off 6
Watch him beat Jason Blair senseless in the ring
Watch him hoist the National Title after a successful defense
Watch Freakke eat Ramen noodles
Scene cut too Freakke back stage a couple of weeks ago eating Ramen noodles and joking with some of the other guys waiting for there matches. The sounds is really bad but not much is going on but everyone is laughing but one guy who is a little shocked but joins in, apparently getting over the joke at his expense.
It will be Epic
Channel-Q
A blank screen saw Freakke just standing there. He shrugged once and then turned to face the camera.
”Some of you might be wondering if any of this follows a relative plot or base concept...it doesn't. In all truth, it is just a bunch of little skits thrown together to amuse you and remind you that your resident clown champion is champion for a reason. That reason is also the reason he is going into this match with intentions of coming out still wearing this belt, despite any tricks or thoughts my opponent may have otherwise. Jason Blair is a decidedly dangerous opponent. If I let him, he wouldn't go for the belt, or the win. Jason Blair is one of those that wants to prove points and destroy his enemies. Which means I know the targets on my back. The target was on my back before and I hadn't even done anything to him. Now, its on me again and this time he wants revenge for m little psychotic retaliations.”
Freakke sighed and sat down on the floor.
”He wants my belt and my pride. He wants to destroy me for our passed crossings. Well, I'm something of a history buff so I have one thing to say to all that. Quoting a General once backed into a corner...”
Freakke smirked and the camera zoomed in on his face.
”Nuts.”
Channel-056
Out of nowhere, Freakke's voice blaired like a monster truck announcer.
”SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!!”
Cheesy 80's effects and zooming in and out screen come with some filtered nCw action.
”ROAD TO THE GOLD!!!”
Dave Holland and DDK are both spotlighted.
”TITLE MATCHES GALORE!!!”
Mike Honcho and Maniac are shown next. Followed by Blood Ties and the Rat Pack. Zelda Knite and Emma Danielson are next. Jason Blair and Freakke are shown last, but Jason has X's over his eyes.
”FOR ONLY *cough*50*hack* DOLLARS AN ORDER. 10% DISCOUNT WHEN YOU BUY THE NEW FREAKKE T-SHIRT!”
The shirt is shown briefly and then nothing again.
”ONLY THIS SUNDAY! IN LAS VEGAS!!!”
One last image is shown of Jason Blair after Freakke had slapped face paint all over him but before the trashcan.
Channel-013
Nightmare on Freakke Street 17: Are You Freakke-ing Kidding Me?
A group of Scooby Doo Mystery Gang knock offs are sitting there looking at the script, almost blatantly ignoring that they're wasting film.
“OK, what the hell is going on?”
“Wait, was this written by an idiot.”
“There's more blood in two scenes of this movies than most films.”
“Ruh-Roh Rhaggy.”
“No dude your line is 'Oh god the blinding horrible pain...”
”Nope that's your line.”
“I'll stop this horrible dark evil thing!”
Jason Blair impersonator is there again, but Freakke just bats him away. Everyone just shrugs and goes on with their business.
”So, who wants pizza?”
The television then went black. It turned to Freakke sitting in an arm chair.
”I hate re-runs.”
He got up and the camera followed him to the door.
”Well gents and ladies, its been a pleasure. Yes, I really do intend beating Jason Blair fair and square to put this all away once and for all. I plan on retaining my belt. Will it be a hard fought battle...yes. Will I falter? No.”
Freakke watched as they went out the front door and he stood ready to say goodbye.
”Even if it were three on one I would give my best and do what needs done. Even battered, broken, and bruised, the Carnival King will rise to any challenge. Will not give up, and will win out in the end.”
He smirked and that was that.
”Till next time, cretins.”