Post by Steven Luke on Nov 25, 2010 2:16:34 GMT -6
We open up once again on that funny TV set where we record the 'Gun Show.' There is a desk and with a couch off to the right of it and behind them is a set of ring ropes that runs across the screen. There is a back ground of a screaming crowd. The count down begins and when he reaches zero cheesy music plays and Venom walks out to the stage. He stands there grinning from ear to ear as the crowd machine rages. He raises his hands to calm the 'crowd' so that he can begin.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Gun Show where this week we are live on the inter webs and teaming with one of the most dominating monsters in NCW History. One week removed from a dominating victory over the masked man I will once again show that if you give me a tag team partner I will make a winner out of them. This week it shouldn't be a problem at all since I have already pinned one of my two opponents in a tag team match and the other one of my opponents is a washed up American Hero."
The crowd machine begins to boo.
"I know, I know. He is a joke of a hero but he is still a hero at any rate. Did you know he once saved Kelly Knite's life?"
Venom shakes his head as the boos again run on the machine.
"Here we are, the members of the Young Guns, attacking Kelly Knite and burning bridges to get what we want and somehow Will Washington 'saves' the bosses daughter to get what he wants. Gag me with a knife people. It's so ridiculous I can't even stand it and what has Will Washington even done since then? He lost in his title shot he earned by winning the Gladiator match, won the tag championships, and then turned on his tag team partner only to end up in a different tag team where he is overshadowed by a hall of famer. This guy is a waste of space and everyone knows it."
"If one washed up American Hero isn't enough, we the other brother in this match as well. Milo Holland, I don't know what to say about you. My tag team partner and Brother-in-law is going to face off with your Brother and one of them will be world Champion. It kind of makes our match seem like a waste of time doesn't it? Especially since I have already pinned you in the center of the ring once since your return and right now I am like butter baby, because I am on a roll. The outcome of this match might as well already be set in stone, especially since you seem more focused on your new found love then your life as a pro wrestler. That is of course why your brother took off on his new found singles success anyway isn't it? Maybe he just threw you to the curb though and you found love because of it. Don't know and I don't really care because this week it isn't about your love life, it's about me starting off the night for the Young Guns the right way, with a win."
"Enough though about me, we need to get on with the show. We are going to skip our new segment, the Rumor Mill, this week because we have a special guest tonight. My interview with him was leaked earlier this week so it should be no surprise that tonight we have a special interview with the National Champion Jason Blair! We will be right back with that interview and the Pay per View predictions after this!"
We fade out, but this time we do not fade to commercial, we fade to a video clip of Venom from earlier this week.
I couldn't help myself this week. I had to do everything I could to find out who it was that slid that note under my door. It feels like someone is trying to get under my skin. I pulled a few strings, or rather Charlie did, and I got some time in the security office with the security crew at the hotel.The guy cued up the time I was looking for and the hallway to my room and then left me alone.
I watched in anticipation over and over again but it was ridiculous. I seen the guy slide the note under the door but he seemed to know where every camera in the building was. He had a hat pulled down tight over his eyes and he disappeared into a blind spot and I couldn't figure out where he went after that.I checked every angle I could find of that hallway but I couldn't find him anywhere.
I can only come to the conclusion that it was an inside job, but how the hell could that be? Who could have inside information of this hotel in Canada and be in Seattle weeks ago too?
I missed my flight with Charlie back home for the week and it was all for nothing. Who is this guy?
We cut from the promo back to the Gun Show and Venom is behind his desk with his index cards in hand. He looks up and smirks into the camera.
"Welcome back to the Gun Show, or as NCW Magazine has called it, the only show that doesn't have wrestling in the NCW that is worth watching! Now cut to the big card of the week, BREAKING AWAY!"
The screen is overtaken by the card for the Pay Per View this week, Breaking Away.
The screen fades back and we're back to the smiling face of NCW super star Venom. He shuffles his index card and begins.
"What an event we have this week. This very well could be the biggest show of the year so far as we have one of the highly contested Main Events this year and we have three long running feuds coming to a head. So lets start with one of the best Wired shows that I can remember as we have a ton of star power, and Will Washington, on this show."
"Wired starts out this week with two new comers where they belong, opening the show. I don't know much about either of these guys but I am going to go ahead and give Williams my nod for the win in this match."
"Next up we have what could be one of the biggest matches of the night but somehow it ended up one Wired. That just shows how good the competition here in the NCW has become lately. The biggest question in this match will be can Ricky Johnson prove that he belongs in the World Title hunt and I truly believe that he does. I am going to go with Ricky Johnson in what many can call an upset."
"The biggest tag team match of the night, much bigger then any match between Blood Ties and the Rat Pack. Even bigger then the match for the National Championship, simply because it makes no sense at all. It is the tag team match involving ME! Once again, I have a monster on my side and on the other side of the ring we have Will Washington and Milo Holland. I didn't want to be bias this week, so I went to the streets and interviewed some fans of the NCW and go there thoughts. Please roll the clip."
We cut to a clip of Venom on the street holding a mic in hand. He's standing in the middle of a busy shopping square and people are passing by all around him watching in awe as they pass.
"We have come to the streets today to see how the people feel about this weeks match of mine against Milo Holland and Will Washington. With me first is a young lady from right here in Alberta, Canada. Young Lady, what is your name."
A lady steps on camera and hugs the NCW star and grins from ear to ear.
"My name is Jean and I totally love the Young Guns eh. It's just terrible what that Kelly is doing to Zelda don't ya know."
"You're right, it really is terrible, but that's not why I'm here today on the streets of Al..."
"OH! Go Charlie Velez, New World Champ!"
"I am sure Charlie will be glad to hear he has the support of the people of Canada, but the reason I am here is for some fan insight on my opponents at Breaking Point."
"You have a match?"
"CUT!"
The screen slowly goes black and fades back in. Venom is still in the same spot and he is now standing with a tall man wearing a NCW hoodie to protect himself from the cold and he seems very happy to be on TV.
"I'd like to welcome a shopper here at the local shopping center that goes by the name of Pierre. How are you doing today Pierre?"
"I'm fantastic."
"Good, very good. Now I understand you have tickets to this weekends NCW Pay Per View event and with that you get to see the live broadcast of the web show Wired that is starring yours truly this month. I am here today for a little insight from the fans perspective on my opponents."
"Who are you facing again? Sorry, it's hard to care about the web show when the Pay Per View card is so amazing."
Venom sighs.
"I'm facing the team of Will Washington and Milo Holland."
"There's another Holland? Is he related to the guy who is World Champ? That would be silly if he was eh. Your brother would be fighting his brother in the main event while the two of you jerk the curtain eh."
The guy begins laughing and this time Venom just makes the motion to cut with his hand. Soon we fade back in and again Venom is standing with another fan. A young woman who is again smiling and happy to be there because Canadians are such happy people. Must be the free health care.
"Welcome back, and with me I have Veronica. Veronica has a lot of insight on my match this week. Isn't that right dear?"
"Yes, I've been watching for a long time and I really think that Will Washington guy is kind of a jerk. I know he did the right thing and shook hands after the match last week eh, but I'll never get over what he did to his tag team partner."
"I know, what kind of idiot turns on a friend when you've worked so hard to rise to the top. I personally think that Adam Knite should dump him while the getting is good. This isn't about how much of a loser he is though, this is about how much he is going to lose to me this weekend. Any insight on his tag team partner?"
"Totally eh. Milo Holland has always been the week link in the Holland Brother team. He may be big and strong but I've been following him for years and when the big man falls, he falls hard, just like when my husband cuts down a tree in the woods eh."
"So it's safe to say then that you think that myself and Homeless Harold will win this week?"
"Absolutely, and not just because you gave me an awesome Young Guns T-Shirt and the Gun Show DVD set either, because you're awesome and Harold is a monster eh."
"Thanks Veronica! So there you have it, the people have spoken and the team of Venom and Harold will win."
We fade out on the street and back in on Venom as he sits behind his desk. He slaps himself in the forehead and shakes his head before continuing.
"Next is a woman's number one contenders match, Roxie with three x's wins."
Venom tosses an index card to the side and continues.
"Now onto the big show. The show that could catapult the Young Guns straight to the top and be the biggest show of the NCW year, and it starts with a Woman's World Championship match. I am going to give the Champion the nod in this match because honestly, I don't care. Woman's wrestling without Zelda is like Disneyland without rides, just a waste of time."
"Joe Ragnal defends his X Championship in the next match against Hugo Conway. Now this I don't understand. I beat Hugo to get a shot at the X Championship and lost so now he gets a shot for being the loser? Isn't this the same logic that Mr. Fox used to NOT give Charlie a title shot? In any case I think Rags retains."
"A tag team match is up next and like I pointed out earlier it is probably not even the best tag team match on the card. Last I checked two of the four men in this match weren't even active because of injuries. I could really care less about this match and because of that I could care less about the Tag Team Championships. I think that the Rat Pack will somehow pull it off simply because I have no faith in Alex Jones."
"A technical exhibition? What the hell is this bull ****? It sounds like some excuse to get two people on the show who are fan favorites but have nothing better going on after I beat the bloody pulp out of one of them. I refuse to pick the winner of this because an exhibition is like preseason isn't it? No one cares about preseason."
"Now to one of the many big time matches of the night. Knite against Fox. That's right, if Kelly is going to call Zelda by some bull**** name her abusive dad use to call her I am not going to give her the name Knite. She doesn't deserve to use the name of actual pro wrestlers who have been Champions. She is just a rich girl living off of daddy's money and that's why I know Zelda will rip her head off and feed it to her in this match."
"Adam Knite and Jack Manson have been at each others throats since Jack decided to make his big come back. Rather, Adam has been at Jack's throat since he made his big come back. Adam really seems to have a problem with Jack and Jack seems to want no part of it, which makes it easy for me to pick Adam as the winner."
"I'm not even sure what a Nightmare Cage match is and I'm not sure how a blood feud between Joe and Gabriel turned into a four way. I do know though that if Joe Everyman doesn't win he might as well quit. This is his last big chance to impress people in my view and if he doesn't pull it off then he might as well quit."
"The next match reminds me so much of two kids fighting on the play ground because one said 'Your Mom' to the other and I love it. I didn't really like Awesome Love at first but it is hard not to watch Steve Awesome in action, especially when he is pissing off Jacobsen. There is no way Steve doesn't beat the life out of AJ and then take his mom out to dinner afterwords."
"The next match will introduce out next guest, and because I don't understand the rules I am just going to predict him to win and then bring out out guest Jason Blair!"
Venom stands to the side and applauds along with the applause machine, which has kicked into high gear. Jason Blair walks into the picture, looking as stoic and ornery as ever. He’s dressed casually in tight-fitting jeans and a “National Celebrity” t-shirt.
“Thanks for taking the time to stop by, Jason!”
“No, thank you Venom. I know you’re a busy man, but it’s just so hard to find any kind of competence around this organization.”
“Don’t I know it!”
“Chad Lights is just …well he’s unbearable.”
“Well, don’t you worry, Jason. I’m here to ask all the tough questions, you know, the stuff that the fans really want to know!”
The applause machine starts up again.
“For instance, how dumb is Freakke the Clown? I mean, you just put this guy in the hospital last month… does he have some sort of death wish?”
“That is a great question, Venom. The Carnival King is an incredibly brave competitor. No one’s ever questioned his heart, and I won’t be the first to; But you’re right, he’s a moron.”
“I know! It’s like, take a hint, guy!”
“Hopefully, this will be the last time I’ll have to see his painted face in the ring for a while. If I have to put him back in the hospital, this time with an extended stay… then so be it. I’m not opposed to hurting people, I never have been. Actually, I enjoy it. So, while I am a little bored having to beat the same man for the 3rd time… trust me when I say that I will have fun doing it.”
“I’m sure that you will, my man… but how much of a handicap is it to have him on your team this time?”
“Well it certainly is… different. As idiotic as Freakke is, I’m sure he doesn’t expect me to bust out a bunch of tag team moves with him. Here’s the thing. I’m smarter than everyone else in this match. All of them are considered fantastic competitors, but I’d imagine that Falcon is the only one that made it through high school. It’s rumored that Chuck Moss isn’t even literate.”
“I think that one is true.”
“So, either way you look at it, I’ve got an advantage here. I have a strategy that I stick to, and I honestly don’t plan on deviating from that too much.”
“What of Falcon’s borderline retarded statements about his back?”
Canned laughter from the crowd.
“Before that, I’d never really questioned Falcon’s intelligence. I mean, he seemed like a pretty smart guy. A huge p***y, for sure, but a fairly intelligent p***y. I guess maybe Falcon has never seen me wrestle before our match?”
“Well, when would he have time?”
“You’re right. Between fighting with Andrew Jacobsen over who gets to be Zelda’s bitch, and fighting with Maniac about his split personality disorder, where would he have time to study his opponents? Falcon, I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine.”
The camera zooms in on Jason’s face.
“I break backs.”
“It’s what I do.”
“I don’t need it to be weak, first. Sure, it helps that you have the back of a ninety-year-old world war two veteran; but even if it were completely healthy, I’d still focus on it. I’ll do it again, and again, and again, until you can’t walk anymore. I’ll wrench your spinal cord until you can’t even think about climbing to the top rope. I will rip apart your individual vertebrae, so that next time you and Zelda are role-playing with a strap-on, she has to be extra gentle to make sure she doesn’t put you in traction.”
“No offense, Zelda.”
“Right.”
The camera goes back to its wide shot, and Blair snaps out of his rant.
“Well, Champ.. thanks again for stopping by… any last words, perhaps a guest prediction on the main event?”
“After Sunday, we will all finally have a world champion that we can be proud of. Charlie Velez beats Dave Holland to within an inch of his life, before bringing some closure to their little feud.”
“You heard it here first, folks! Thanks again for stopping by, Jason! I'll see you all next week when we recap how awesome the Young Guns did this week and get ready for a new NCW week!
We roll the credits as Venom stands up and shakes the hand of Jason Blair and we soon fade to black.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Gun Show where this week we are live on the inter webs and teaming with one of the most dominating monsters in NCW History. One week removed from a dominating victory over the masked man I will once again show that if you give me a tag team partner I will make a winner out of them. This week it shouldn't be a problem at all since I have already pinned one of my two opponents in a tag team match and the other one of my opponents is a washed up American Hero."
The crowd machine begins to boo.
"I know, I know. He is a joke of a hero but he is still a hero at any rate. Did you know he once saved Kelly Knite's life?"
Venom shakes his head as the boos again run on the machine.
"Here we are, the members of the Young Guns, attacking Kelly Knite and burning bridges to get what we want and somehow Will Washington 'saves' the bosses daughter to get what he wants. Gag me with a knife people. It's so ridiculous I can't even stand it and what has Will Washington even done since then? He lost in his title shot he earned by winning the Gladiator match, won the tag championships, and then turned on his tag team partner only to end up in a different tag team where he is overshadowed by a hall of famer. This guy is a waste of space and everyone knows it."
"If one washed up American Hero isn't enough, we the other brother in this match as well. Milo Holland, I don't know what to say about you. My tag team partner and Brother-in-law is going to face off with your Brother and one of them will be world Champion. It kind of makes our match seem like a waste of time doesn't it? Especially since I have already pinned you in the center of the ring once since your return and right now I am like butter baby, because I am on a roll. The outcome of this match might as well already be set in stone, especially since you seem more focused on your new found love then your life as a pro wrestler. That is of course why your brother took off on his new found singles success anyway isn't it? Maybe he just threw you to the curb though and you found love because of it. Don't know and I don't really care because this week it isn't about your love life, it's about me starting off the night for the Young Guns the right way, with a win."
"Enough though about me, we need to get on with the show. We are going to skip our new segment, the Rumor Mill, this week because we have a special guest tonight. My interview with him was leaked earlier this week so it should be no surprise that tonight we have a special interview with the National Champion Jason Blair! We will be right back with that interview and the Pay per View predictions after this!"
We fade out, but this time we do not fade to commercial, we fade to a video clip of Venom from earlier this week.
I couldn't help myself this week. I had to do everything I could to find out who it was that slid that note under my door. It feels like someone is trying to get under my skin. I pulled a few strings, or rather Charlie did, and I got some time in the security office with the security crew at the hotel.The guy cued up the time I was looking for and the hallway to my room and then left me alone.
I watched in anticipation over and over again but it was ridiculous. I seen the guy slide the note under the door but he seemed to know where every camera in the building was. He had a hat pulled down tight over his eyes and he disappeared into a blind spot and I couldn't figure out where he went after that.I checked every angle I could find of that hallway but I couldn't find him anywhere.
I can only come to the conclusion that it was an inside job, but how the hell could that be? Who could have inside information of this hotel in Canada and be in Seattle weeks ago too?
I missed my flight with Charlie back home for the week and it was all for nothing. Who is this guy?
We cut from the promo back to the Gun Show and Venom is behind his desk with his index cards in hand. He looks up and smirks into the camera.
"Welcome back to the Gun Show, or as NCW Magazine has called it, the only show that doesn't have wrestling in the NCW that is worth watching! Now cut to the big card of the week, BREAKING AWAY!"
The screen is overtaken by the card for the Pay Per View this week, Breaking Away.
WIRED
Singles Match
Todd Williams vs. Jim Reigns
Singles Match
DDK vs. Ricky Johnson
Tag Team Match
Venom and Homeless Harold vs. Will Washington and Milo Holland
Women's #1 Contender Match
Stephanie Sullivan vs. Roxxxie
BREAKING AWAY
Women's World Title Match
Emma Danielson vs. Trish Newborn
X-Championshp Match
Joe Ragnal vs. Hugo Conway
Tag Team Title Match
Blood Ties vs. The Rat Pack
A Technical Exhibition
Brad Kane vs. Evan Andrews
Cage Match
Kelly Knite vs. Sidney Knite
Singles Match
Adam Knite vs. Jack Manson
Nightmare Cage Match
Joe Everyman vs. Lex Sense vs. Maniac vs. Gabriel Karras
Singles Match
Andrew Jacobsen vs. Steve Awesome
National Title Match
Person who makes the pin wins the title
Jason Blair and Freakke vs. Falcon and Chuck Moss
World Title Match
Charlie Velez vs. Dave Holland
Singles Match
Todd Williams vs. Jim Reigns
Singles Match
DDK vs. Ricky Johnson
Tag Team Match
Venom and Homeless Harold vs. Will Washington and Milo Holland
Women's #1 Contender Match
Stephanie Sullivan vs. Roxxxie
BREAKING AWAY
Women's World Title Match
Emma Danielson vs. Trish Newborn
X-Championshp Match
Joe Ragnal vs. Hugo Conway
Tag Team Title Match
Blood Ties vs. The Rat Pack
A Technical Exhibition
Brad Kane vs. Evan Andrews
Cage Match
Kelly Knite vs. Sidney Knite
Singles Match
Adam Knite vs. Jack Manson
Nightmare Cage Match
Joe Everyman vs. Lex Sense vs. Maniac vs. Gabriel Karras
Singles Match
Andrew Jacobsen vs. Steve Awesome
National Title Match
Person who makes the pin wins the title
Jason Blair and Freakke vs. Falcon and Chuck Moss
World Title Match
Charlie Velez vs. Dave Holland
The screen fades back and we're back to the smiling face of NCW super star Venom. He shuffles his index card and begins.
"What an event we have this week. This very well could be the biggest show of the year so far as we have one of the highly contested Main Events this year and we have three long running feuds coming to a head. So lets start with one of the best Wired shows that I can remember as we have a ton of star power, and Will Washington, on this show."
"Wired starts out this week with two new comers where they belong, opening the show. I don't know much about either of these guys but I am going to go ahead and give Williams my nod for the win in this match."
"Next up we have what could be one of the biggest matches of the night but somehow it ended up one Wired. That just shows how good the competition here in the NCW has become lately. The biggest question in this match will be can Ricky Johnson prove that he belongs in the World Title hunt and I truly believe that he does. I am going to go with Ricky Johnson in what many can call an upset."
"The biggest tag team match of the night, much bigger then any match between Blood Ties and the Rat Pack. Even bigger then the match for the National Championship, simply because it makes no sense at all. It is the tag team match involving ME! Once again, I have a monster on my side and on the other side of the ring we have Will Washington and Milo Holland. I didn't want to be bias this week, so I went to the streets and interviewed some fans of the NCW and go there thoughts. Please roll the clip."
We cut to a clip of Venom on the street holding a mic in hand. He's standing in the middle of a busy shopping square and people are passing by all around him watching in awe as they pass.
"We have come to the streets today to see how the people feel about this weeks match of mine against Milo Holland and Will Washington. With me first is a young lady from right here in Alberta, Canada. Young Lady, what is your name."
A lady steps on camera and hugs the NCW star and grins from ear to ear.
"My name is Jean and I totally love the Young Guns eh. It's just terrible what that Kelly is doing to Zelda don't ya know."
"You're right, it really is terrible, but that's not why I'm here today on the streets of Al..."
"OH! Go Charlie Velez, New World Champ!"
"I am sure Charlie will be glad to hear he has the support of the people of Canada, but the reason I am here is for some fan insight on my opponents at Breaking Point."
"You have a match?"
"CUT!"
The screen slowly goes black and fades back in. Venom is still in the same spot and he is now standing with a tall man wearing a NCW hoodie to protect himself from the cold and he seems very happy to be on TV.
"I'd like to welcome a shopper here at the local shopping center that goes by the name of Pierre. How are you doing today Pierre?"
"I'm fantastic."
"Good, very good. Now I understand you have tickets to this weekends NCW Pay Per View event and with that you get to see the live broadcast of the web show Wired that is starring yours truly this month. I am here today for a little insight from the fans perspective on my opponents."
"Who are you facing again? Sorry, it's hard to care about the web show when the Pay Per View card is so amazing."
Venom sighs.
"I'm facing the team of Will Washington and Milo Holland."
"There's another Holland? Is he related to the guy who is World Champ? That would be silly if he was eh. Your brother would be fighting his brother in the main event while the two of you jerk the curtain eh."
The guy begins laughing and this time Venom just makes the motion to cut with his hand. Soon we fade back in and again Venom is standing with another fan. A young woman who is again smiling and happy to be there because Canadians are such happy people. Must be the free health care.
"Welcome back, and with me I have Veronica. Veronica has a lot of insight on my match this week. Isn't that right dear?"
"Yes, I've been watching for a long time and I really think that Will Washington guy is kind of a jerk. I know he did the right thing and shook hands after the match last week eh, but I'll never get over what he did to his tag team partner."
"I know, what kind of idiot turns on a friend when you've worked so hard to rise to the top. I personally think that Adam Knite should dump him while the getting is good. This isn't about how much of a loser he is though, this is about how much he is going to lose to me this weekend. Any insight on his tag team partner?"
"Totally eh. Milo Holland has always been the week link in the Holland Brother team. He may be big and strong but I've been following him for years and when the big man falls, he falls hard, just like when my husband cuts down a tree in the woods eh."
"So it's safe to say then that you think that myself and Homeless Harold will win this week?"
"Absolutely, and not just because you gave me an awesome Young Guns T-Shirt and the Gun Show DVD set either, because you're awesome and Harold is a monster eh."
"Thanks Veronica! So there you have it, the people have spoken and the team of Venom and Harold will win."
We fade out on the street and back in on Venom as he sits behind his desk. He slaps himself in the forehead and shakes his head before continuing.
"Next is a woman's number one contenders match, Roxie with three x's wins."
Venom tosses an index card to the side and continues.
"Now onto the big show. The show that could catapult the Young Guns straight to the top and be the biggest show of the NCW year, and it starts with a Woman's World Championship match. I am going to give the Champion the nod in this match because honestly, I don't care. Woman's wrestling without Zelda is like Disneyland without rides, just a waste of time."
"Joe Ragnal defends his X Championship in the next match against Hugo Conway. Now this I don't understand. I beat Hugo to get a shot at the X Championship and lost so now he gets a shot for being the loser? Isn't this the same logic that Mr. Fox used to NOT give Charlie a title shot? In any case I think Rags retains."
"A tag team match is up next and like I pointed out earlier it is probably not even the best tag team match on the card. Last I checked two of the four men in this match weren't even active because of injuries. I could really care less about this match and because of that I could care less about the Tag Team Championships. I think that the Rat Pack will somehow pull it off simply because I have no faith in Alex Jones."
"A technical exhibition? What the hell is this bull ****? It sounds like some excuse to get two people on the show who are fan favorites but have nothing better going on after I beat the bloody pulp out of one of them. I refuse to pick the winner of this because an exhibition is like preseason isn't it? No one cares about preseason."
"Now to one of the many big time matches of the night. Knite against Fox. That's right, if Kelly is going to call Zelda by some bull**** name her abusive dad use to call her I am not going to give her the name Knite. She doesn't deserve to use the name of actual pro wrestlers who have been Champions. She is just a rich girl living off of daddy's money and that's why I know Zelda will rip her head off and feed it to her in this match."
"Adam Knite and Jack Manson have been at each others throats since Jack decided to make his big come back. Rather, Adam has been at Jack's throat since he made his big come back. Adam really seems to have a problem with Jack and Jack seems to want no part of it, which makes it easy for me to pick Adam as the winner."
"I'm not even sure what a Nightmare Cage match is and I'm not sure how a blood feud between Joe and Gabriel turned into a four way. I do know though that if Joe Everyman doesn't win he might as well quit. This is his last big chance to impress people in my view and if he doesn't pull it off then he might as well quit."
"The next match reminds me so much of two kids fighting on the play ground because one said 'Your Mom' to the other and I love it. I didn't really like Awesome Love at first but it is hard not to watch Steve Awesome in action, especially when he is pissing off Jacobsen. There is no way Steve doesn't beat the life out of AJ and then take his mom out to dinner afterwords."
"The next match will introduce out next guest, and because I don't understand the rules I am just going to predict him to win and then bring out out guest Jason Blair!"
Venom stands to the side and applauds along with the applause machine, which has kicked into high gear. Jason Blair walks into the picture, looking as stoic and ornery as ever. He’s dressed casually in tight-fitting jeans and a “National Celebrity” t-shirt.
“Thanks for taking the time to stop by, Jason!”
“No, thank you Venom. I know you’re a busy man, but it’s just so hard to find any kind of competence around this organization.”
“Don’t I know it!”
“Chad Lights is just …well he’s unbearable.”
“Well, don’t you worry, Jason. I’m here to ask all the tough questions, you know, the stuff that the fans really want to know!”
The applause machine starts up again.
“For instance, how dumb is Freakke the Clown? I mean, you just put this guy in the hospital last month… does he have some sort of death wish?”
“That is a great question, Venom. The Carnival King is an incredibly brave competitor. No one’s ever questioned his heart, and I won’t be the first to; But you’re right, he’s a moron.”
“I know! It’s like, take a hint, guy!”
“Hopefully, this will be the last time I’ll have to see his painted face in the ring for a while. If I have to put him back in the hospital, this time with an extended stay… then so be it. I’m not opposed to hurting people, I never have been. Actually, I enjoy it. So, while I am a little bored having to beat the same man for the 3rd time… trust me when I say that I will have fun doing it.”
“I’m sure that you will, my man… but how much of a handicap is it to have him on your team this time?”
“Well it certainly is… different. As idiotic as Freakke is, I’m sure he doesn’t expect me to bust out a bunch of tag team moves with him. Here’s the thing. I’m smarter than everyone else in this match. All of them are considered fantastic competitors, but I’d imagine that Falcon is the only one that made it through high school. It’s rumored that Chuck Moss isn’t even literate.”
“I think that one is true.”
“So, either way you look at it, I’ve got an advantage here. I have a strategy that I stick to, and I honestly don’t plan on deviating from that too much.”
“What of Falcon’s borderline retarded statements about his back?”
Canned laughter from the crowd.
“Before that, I’d never really questioned Falcon’s intelligence. I mean, he seemed like a pretty smart guy. A huge p***y, for sure, but a fairly intelligent p***y. I guess maybe Falcon has never seen me wrestle before our match?”
“Well, when would he have time?”
“You’re right. Between fighting with Andrew Jacobsen over who gets to be Zelda’s bitch, and fighting with Maniac about his split personality disorder, where would he have time to study his opponents? Falcon, I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine.”
The camera zooms in on Jason’s face.
“I break backs.”
“It’s what I do.”
“I don’t need it to be weak, first. Sure, it helps that you have the back of a ninety-year-old world war two veteran; but even if it were completely healthy, I’d still focus on it. I’ll do it again, and again, and again, until you can’t walk anymore. I’ll wrench your spinal cord until you can’t even think about climbing to the top rope. I will rip apart your individual vertebrae, so that next time you and Zelda are role-playing with a strap-on, she has to be extra gentle to make sure she doesn’t put you in traction.”
“No offense, Zelda.”
“Right.”
The camera goes back to its wide shot, and Blair snaps out of his rant.
“Well, Champ.. thanks again for stopping by… any last words, perhaps a guest prediction on the main event?”
“After Sunday, we will all finally have a world champion that we can be proud of. Charlie Velez beats Dave Holland to within an inch of his life, before bringing some closure to their little feud.”
“You heard it here first, folks! Thanks again for stopping by, Jason! I'll see you all next week when we recap how awesome the Young Guns did this week and get ready for a new NCW week!
We roll the credits as Venom stands up and shakes the hand of Jason Blair and we soon fade to black.