Post by Steve Awesome on Nov 27, 2010 4:28:03 GMT -6
Commotion.
Uproar.
Ruckus.
Crap is happening people.
Moments after the Awesome Love segment came to an end on Collision and we find Jacobsen being carried away by security in one direction and a swarm of medics hover over his fallen body and a group of burly security guards form a wall in front of him. The EMT’s help a bewildered Steve Awesome to his feet and they set up a chair for him to sit on. Two medics poke and prod at his swollen cheek and bloodied lip. They shine lights in his eyes and finally Awesome had enough.
“Get out of my face!”
He pie faces one of the medics forward and he falls on his butt. Steve shoots up from his chair and puts both palms on the mans chest and shoves him right into one of the security guards.
“Get the hell away from me.”
He stands there fuming. His hair was messed up, his sunglasses bent, his shirt ripped. The blood from his lip ran down more from his lip to his chin.
“This is RE-God-Damn-Diculous!”
His shoulders moved up and down as he breathed. Quick deep breaths. He begins to pace back and forth.
“All I’m trying to do is this stupid reality show. Just trying to entertain the masses with quality television and this is what happens?”
He points at the trampled set. The large podium that Steve stood on was knocked over. The stands that the girls stood on were broken. The banner that hung from ceiling was now dangling from one rope. It was a mess.
“Some little momma’s boy with a chip on his shoulder comes running in and spears me off a podium. I never read the fine print but I’m pretty freaking sure that isn’t listed in the contract!”
He walks a few steps in one direction and then spins on his heel and comes back the other way.
“He ripped my shirt! He broke my sunglasses! Do you know how much that costs? More then your lives! Nobody does this to Steve Awesome! Nobody puts there hands on me like that! Nobody!”
His head snaps in the direction security.
“And where the hell were you?”
He glares at the guards standing buy. The big men lower there heads like dogs.
“You just sat there and let Jacobsen walk on the set and-”
Suddenly the blood coming from Steve’s lip falls down and splats on his torn t-shirt. He stops in mid-sentence and stares right at the crimson stain right above the pocket of his button down. He quickly pokes at his lip to find the source and when he finds it he goes from mad to livid.
“I’m bleeding!? I’m seriously bleeding right now? That little cub scout made me bleed my own blood?”
His fists clench in anger and he looks around until he spots the cameraman filming the whole thing. Awesome slowly extends an arm and points right at him with his pointer finger then spins it around and does the come here motion.
“Get your ass over here monkey boy. Pronto!”
The camera moves closer toward Steve and then stands in front of him.
“Andrew Jacobsen…..”
Steve slowly shakes his head.
“You want a match with me at Breaking Away? You got one. You think you can just sucker punch me from the sidelines and get away with it? You think you can just waltz right in and ruin a moment from the best show on TV right now? I know you like to think your something around here Lil’ AJ but your not. You think that just because you supposedly took Falcon to his “limit” last month that means you can take me one on one?”
Awesome slaps his own forehead with his hand.
“Are you freaking HIGH!?”
Awesome shakes his head.
“If I had a halfway decent match with a hall of famer after a string of failures I’d brag about that match to anybody who would listen too, but I don’t. Unlike you Andrew, I know what a winning streak looks like and trust me kid, I fully intend on keeping that streak alive and intact come Breaking Away, after I rub your stupid face all over the canvas. You shouldn’t have asked for a match AJ but now that you do, I’m going to make you regret it.”
“But the only thing that I can’t figure out…is why? Because your moms on my show? Christ man, why can’t you let your crusty old mother have some fun for once in her life? I mean she’s had to deal with your whiny boy scout ass for your whole life you’d think she’d want something to enjoy. Something for her….something SHE wants to do. But no….you can’t let that happen. You have to be a little baby and cry for your mommy because she isn’t there to cut the toast off your peanut butter and freaking jelly.”
Steve crosses his arms and sneers into the camera.
“You make me sick!”
He spit’s the blood from his lip that got into his mouth onto the ground.
“Oh but I’m the bad guy right? I’m the one ruining your family.”
He shoves his thumb into his chest.
“You think that I’m that big of an ass hole that I’m just going to sleep with her to piss you off Andrew? That I’m just going to cut the thread that your parents marriage hangs on just to get in your head? I’m offended. I really am. I thought people from Minnesota were supposed to be nice. I wasn’t going to do anything to your mom Andrew. I really wasn’t. To be perfectly honest…..I’m not all that into her.”
He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. But suddenly an evil smirk begins to uncoil on Steve’s face like The Grinch right before he stole Christmas.
“But since you decided to punch me in the face….”
He nods his head.
“I am going to do it.”
He smirks into the camera. His green eyes flicked wildly with the evil that seemed to harbor in his mind.
“I’m going to do the one thing that makes your skin crawl. I’m going to make the one thought that keeps you awake at night come true Andrew. I’m going to give your poor disgrace of a daddy a true reason to find the bottom of another bottle….I’m going to make you pay for the blood that’s flowing from my lip right now AJ. I’m going to beat the damages out of you at Breaking Away…”
He steps forward.
“….and then….”
He leans forward, close up on the devilish grin.
“..I’m gonna **** you’re mom!”
Deuces.
Uproar.
Ruckus.
Crap is happening people.
Moments after the Awesome Love segment came to an end on Collision and we find Jacobsen being carried away by security in one direction and a swarm of medics hover over his fallen body and a group of burly security guards form a wall in front of him. The EMT’s help a bewildered Steve Awesome to his feet and they set up a chair for him to sit on. Two medics poke and prod at his swollen cheek and bloodied lip. They shine lights in his eyes and finally Awesome had enough.
“Get out of my face!”
He pie faces one of the medics forward and he falls on his butt. Steve shoots up from his chair and puts both palms on the mans chest and shoves him right into one of the security guards.
“Get the hell away from me.”
He stands there fuming. His hair was messed up, his sunglasses bent, his shirt ripped. The blood from his lip ran down more from his lip to his chin.
“This is RE-God-Damn-Diculous!”
His shoulders moved up and down as he breathed. Quick deep breaths. He begins to pace back and forth.
“All I’m trying to do is this stupid reality show. Just trying to entertain the masses with quality television and this is what happens?”
He points at the trampled set. The large podium that Steve stood on was knocked over. The stands that the girls stood on were broken. The banner that hung from ceiling was now dangling from one rope. It was a mess.
“Some little momma’s boy with a chip on his shoulder comes running in and spears me off a podium. I never read the fine print but I’m pretty freaking sure that isn’t listed in the contract!”
He walks a few steps in one direction and then spins on his heel and comes back the other way.
“He ripped my shirt! He broke my sunglasses! Do you know how much that costs? More then your lives! Nobody does this to Steve Awesome! Nobody puts there hands on me like that! Nobody!”
His head snaps in the direction security.
“And where the hell were you?”
He glares at the guards standing buy. The big men lower there heads like dogs.
“You just sat there and let Jacobsen walk on the set and-”
Suddenly the blood coming from Steve’s lip falls down and splats on his torn t-shirt. He stops in mid-sentence and stares right at the crimson stain right above the pocket of his button down. He quickly pokes at his lip to find the source and when he finds it he goes from mad to livid.
“I’m bleeding!? I’m seriously bleeding right now? That little cub scout made me bleed my own blood?”
His fists clench in anger and he looks around until he spots the cameraman filming the whole thing. Awesome slowly extends an arm and points right at him with his pointer finger then spins it around and does the come here motion.
“Get your ass over here monkey boy. Pronto!”
The camera moves closer toward Steve and then stands in front of him.
“Andrew Jacobsen…..”
Steve slowly shakes his head.
“You want a match with me at Breaking Away? You got one. You think you can just sucker punch me from the sidelines and get away with it? You think you can just waltz right in and ruin a moment from the best show on TV right now? I know you like to think your something around here Lil’ AJ but your not. You think that just because you supposedly took Falcon to his “limit” last month that means you can take me one on one?”
Awesome slaps his own forehead with his hand.
“Are you freaking HIGH!?”
Awesome shakes his head.
“If I had a halfway decent match with a hall of famer after a string of failures I’d brag about that match to anybody who would listen too, but I don’t. Unlike you Andrew, I know what a winning streak looks like and trust me kid, I fully intend on keeping that streak alive and intact come Breaking Away, after I rub your stupid face all over the canvas. You shouldn’t have asked for a match AJ but now that you do, I’m going to make you regret it.”
“But the only thing that I can’t figure out…is why? Because your moms on my show? Christ man, why can’t you let your crusty old mother have some fun for once in her life? I mean she’s had to deal with your whiny boy scout ass for your whole life you’d think she’d want something to enjoy. Something for her….something SHE wants to do. But no….you can’t let that happen. You have to be a little baby and cry for your mommy because she isn’t there to cut the toast off your peanut butter and freaking jelly.”
Steve crosses his arms and sneers into the camera.
“You make me sick!”
He spit’s the blood from his lip that got into his mouth onto the ground.
“Oh but I’m the bad guy right? I’m the one ruining your family.”
He shoves his thumb into his chest.
“You think that I’m that big of an ass hole that I’m just going to sleep with her to piss you off Andrew? That I’m just going to cut the thread that your parents marriage hangs on just to get in your head? I’m offended. I really am. I thought people from Minnesota were supposed to be nice. I wasn’t going to do anything to your mom Andrew. I really wasn’t. To be perfectly honest…..I’m not all that into her.”
He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. But suddenly an evil smirk begins to uncoil on Steve’s face like The Grinch right before he stole Christmas.
“But since you decided to punch me in the face….”
He nods his head.
“I am going to do it.”
He smirks into the camera. His green eyes flicked wildly with the evil that seemed to harbor in his mind.
“I’m going to do the one thing that makes your skin crawl. I’m going to make the one thought that keeps you awake at night come true Andrew. I’m going to give your poor disgrace of a daddy a true reason to find the bottom of another bottle….I’m going to make you pay for the blood that’s flowing from my lip right now AJ. I’m going to beat the damages out of you at Breaking Away…”
He steps forward.
“….and then….”
He leans forward, close up on the devilish grin.
“..I’m gonna **** you’re mom!”
Deuces.