Post by Steve Awesome on Feb 5, 2011 7:04:38 GMT -6
Im a Barbie girl
In a Barbie wor-orld.
It’s fantastic
Im made of plas-tic
Trent Helm’s ring back tone. Steve’s eye twitched as the song blared into his ear through his cell phone. Every part of him wanted to just hang up right then and there, but he had to talk to him. Trent went and got himself a match booked on Collision that put Steve in a ring against Trent. Trent was getting all bent out of shape over something that happened years ago. He wanted to tell him to calm down and actually think this through before the match is officially booked and there’s no turning back. But he just couldn’t get ahold of the guy.
“Hello?”
Steve’s eye’s lit up and he leaned forward in his chair. It took him all day to get this far!
“Trent it’s me Steve. We need to talk man. I-”
“Nothing Much.”
Steve stops his sentence abruptly. That didn’t exactly sound like it made much sense.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Steve cups his cell phone to his ear to listen closely to what comes next.
“Yeah I’m just chilling here eating a bowl of cereal.”
Steve’s confused eyebrow jumps up to about the middle of his forehead.
“That doesn’t even make sense. Trent, we need to talk about-”
“Nah, I’m just kidding, this is my answering machine…leave a message.”
The Face of the Franchise just rolls his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose.
“Trent, it’s Steve. Listen man, go back to Angels office and get him to cancel that match. We can handle this another way dude….I don’t want to hurt you.”
Suddenly Trent’s voice interrupts him again.
“…oh and if this is Steve calling me…..I’m not canceling that match you disease infested primate. So don’t even try to weasel your way out of it you slime ball. Okay…now leave a message.”
Awesome does all he can to stay calm and not throw his cell phone through the nearest window. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to say what he had to say.
“TRENT! It’s Steve. You need to rethink the m-”
“Oh and if this is Sara Silverman. You totally suck and your not funny. If this is Blockbuster, I know what DVD’s I have rented okay, I’m still watching them, so get off my freaking back before I have your store incinerated with a death beam. Oh and while I’m at it, if this is Davey Ortega, just stop calling me. I did everything I could to make you famous but it just isn’t possible. Your about as famous as a pile of Kevin Federline’s feces. So you know, slightly more famous then Kevin himself but not by much. Okay….seriously now…leave a message after the beep.”
Awesome wasn’t going to fall for it this time. He keeps his mouth shut and waits for the next ridiculous interruption by the enigma from Outer Space. After a few extra seconds pass and he hears nothing he finally starts to talk.
“Okay Trent it‘s Steve, first of all….change your damn answering machine message! Seriously. Second of all….Look dude, I know your mad about what I said, but please just forget about the match next Sunday. It isn’t worth it man. Not over some bull**** that happened two years ago. I don’t wan’t to fight you man….I just….”
He pulls the phone down from his ear and covers the receiver end to look around and see if anybody was near by. Once he was sure he was alone he took a second to swallow his pride before pulling the phone back up to his ear.
“….I just want us to be friends again. We didn’t speak for two years over this, you finally come back and we hang out and it was great, exactly like old times and then you go and flip out over a stupid comment?”
Steve winced at the thought of his next sentence. Almost as if it was going to hurt him to say it.
“I missed you man. Now that your back, I just want to be friends again. I don’t have very many these days and I don’t wanna ruin this one by beating you on Collision. Just think about canceling the match, alright?”
He took a deep relieving breath. It felt good to get that off his chest. Even if he did sort of sound like a little girl from the Hills.
“Okay just call me back dude. I’ll talk to you lat-”
*BEEP*
Awesome just stands there dumbfounded. None of that message even got recorded! That’s it! That phone call had pissed him off for the last time. He clenched the phone inside his fist and then whipped the device against the wall. Steve throws his hands up in utter frustration and walks out of the room in a huff.
“It‘s okay to be mediocre.”
The narcissistic grin of the Face of the Franchise greets us first like the Cheshire cat. The camera pans out to find Steve Awesome standing against a wall somewhere in his hometown of downtown Detroit. His long black hair flows in the wind and you could see the reflection of the sun upon his aviator sunglasses.
“It really is, Andrew. It’s a dirty, less satisfying job but somebody has to do it. Not everyone in the world can be a multi-media superstar like myself. Not everyone can become the best in the whole wide world like Steve Awesome did, oh no. See people like me, we actually need mediocre pieces of crap like you to sustain our careers. If pathetic, under achievers like Andrew Jacobsen didn’t exist for main event wrestlers to beat up on soundly and thoroughly then how else would we make ourselves look good?”
“That’s not to say you’re a jobber or anything Andrew. Although losing almost every match you’ve ever competed in doesn’t really help your case in the matter but we’ll just ignore that little detail. Honestly, your not to bad inside that ring. You got some talent kid. You got a decent look and a pretty strong grasp on the concept of wrestling. Ive read the internet forums, I’ve seen the dirt sheets….a lot of fans they like to consider you to be a younger Steve Awesome. I could see it, sort of….if I squint hard enough….yeah you’re a young me, but with like half the talent and zero charisma.”
“I mean seriously AJ? I latched onto you’re rising star? I’d put you in the not a jobber category let alone a star on the rise. You don’t even have a star, kid. I’ve taken you on the ride of your life for the past couple months and this Sunday the ride ends, Andrew. The only reason people even care about you is because they want to see me beat up so bad that they’ll back anybody who makes the attempt. This Sunday I’m going to give you the match you’ve been wishing for for weeks and when I leave you a bloody, unrecognizable mess in front of a blood thirsty Detroit crowd you can crawl back to your boring, pitiful, mundane life of eating pizza with Mexicans and Trannies in a hotel room.”
Awesome blows air from his nose like a bull as he continues his speech.
“This is the real deal Andrew. This isn’t some little cheap match against Chuck Moss down on Trauma Andrew, this is the Face of the Franchise. This is what nCw is all about. I will NOT just lay down and die, Andrew Jacobsen. I don’t do that. I can’t do that. I don’t have it in me. If you want to beat me this Sunday at Meta, if you want to use me as a stepping stone well then to quote a great….”
He starts to pace back and forth, the camera following him as he does so.
“You better step HARD. You want to remove me from this company well then you had better be willing to reach down deeper then you’ve ever reached before. Further down, past being able to take me to my limit, because up here….up where the big boys play….taking someone to they’re limit isn’t good enough Andrew. Forget Will Washington and Brad Kane, you need to do this for you Andrew. What in the hell does Andrew Jacobsen want out of all this? Respect? Redemption? The satisfaction of knowing that he isn’t the biggest joke on the roster this side of Joe Everyman? You want me gone Andrew? You want me out of your life?”
Steve lip quivers before it contorts into anger. He takes a step closer toward the camera and continues to speak through gritted teeth. Anger and passion dripping of every word.
“You want me to feel PAIN for the pain I caused you and your family? You want me to say those three words this Sunday? Well guess what junior, it’s GUT CHECK time! You need to look inside your heart and find out exactly how bad you want that to happen Andrew. NO more idle threats, no more empty promises….no more tours of Detroit in your spare time…because when our match comes and my music hits I’m coming out to that ring with one thought in mind.”
He pulls his glasses down to the bridge of his nose and his dark green eyes peer over the top. His mouth shifts into a dark, sinister grin.
“I’m coming to hurt you.”
He slowly points to his chest with his thumb.
“I don’t care much about winning or losing…..I just want to hurt you Andrew.”
He shrugs his shoulders. Like saying things like that didn’t make him seem messed up in the head.
“Whether that means breaking your leg, snapping your neck, crushing your rib cage….I don’t know…..I just know I’m going to hurt you. Badly. Because that’s how I deal with people who step out of line. It happened to Xavior Cross, it happened to Trent Helms...could happen to him again if he isn't careful......thats what I do to my friends Andrew. Friends only drag you down, they only end up getting in the way. I've gotten this far without friends, I'm not going to start worrying about it now."
He does a quick nod, obviously that last little bit made him feel better about the phone call earlier.
"And when I force you to call me your daddy you’ll finally realize that you’re nothing. You’ll finally realize that it’s okay if your mediocre. It’s okay to be average.”
He chuckles.
“Not everyone can be as good as me.”
He throws them up.
“Deuces”
Fade.
In a Barbie wor-orld.
It’s fantastic
Im made of plas-tic
Trent Helm’s ring back tone. Steve’s eye twitched as the song blared into his ear through his cell phone. Every part of him wanted to just hang up right then and there, but he had to talk to him. Trent went and got himself a match booked on Collision that put Steve in a ring against Trent. Trent was getting all bent out of shape over something that happened years ago. He wanted to tell him to calm down and actually think this through before the match is officially booked and there’s no turning back. But he just couldn’t get ahold of the guy.
“Hello?”
Steve’s eye’s lit up and he leaned forward in his chair. It took him all day to get this far!
“Trent it’s me Steve. We need to talk man. I-”
“Nothing Much.”
Steve stops his sentence abruptly. That didn’t exactly sound like it made much sense.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Steve cups his cell phone to his ear to listen closely to what comes next.
“Yeah I’m just chilling here eating a bowl of cereal.”
Steve’s confused eyebrow jumps up to about the middle of his forehead.
“That doesn’t even make sense. Trent, we need to talk about-”
“Nah, I’m just kidding, this is my answering machine…leave a message.”
The Face of the Franchise just rolls his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose.
“Trent, it’s Steve. Listen man, go back to Angels office and get him to cancel that match. We can handle this another way dude….I don’t want to hurt you.”
Suddenly Trent’s voice interrupts him again.
“…oh and if this is Steve calling me…..I’m not canceling that match you disease infested primate. So don’t even try to weasel your way out of it you slime ball. Okay…now leave a message.”
Awesome does all he can to stay calm and not throw his cell phone through the nearest window. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to say what he had to say.
“TRENT! It’s Steve. You need to rethink the m-”
“Oh and if this is Sara Silverman. You totally suck and your not funny. If this is Blockbuster, I know what DVD’s I have rented okay, I’m still watching them, so get off my freaking back before I have your store incinerated with a death beam. Oh and while I’m at it, if this is Davey Ortega, just stop calling me. I did everything I could to make you famous but it just isn’t possible. Your about as famous as a pile of Kevin Federline’s feces. So you know, slightly more famous then Kevin himself but not by much. Okay….seriously now…leave a message after the beep.”
Awesome wasn’t going to fall for it this time. He keeps his mouth shut and waits for the next ridiculous interruption by the enigma from Outer Space. After a few extra seconds pass and he hears nothing he finally starts to talk.
“Okay Trent it‘s Steve, first of all….change your damn answering machine message! Seriously. Second of all….Look dude, I know your mad about what I said, but please just forget about the match next Sunday. It isn’t worth it man. Not over some bull**** that happened two years ago. I don’t wan’t to fight you man….I just….”
He pulls the phone down from his ear and covers the receiver end to look around and see if anybody was near by. Once he was sure he was alone he took a second to swallow his pride before pulling the phone back up to his ear.
“….I just want us to be friends again. We didn’t speak for two years over this, you finally come back and we hang out and it was great, exactly like old times and then you go and flip out over a stupid comment?”
Steve winced at the thought of his next sentence. Almost as if it was going to hurt him to say it.
“I missed you man. Now that your back, I just want to be friends again. I don’t have very many these days and I don’t wanna ruin this one by beating you on Collision. Just think about canceling the match, alright?”
He took a deep relieving breath. It felt good to get that off his chest. Even if he did sort of sound like a little girl from the Hills.
“Okay just call me back dude. I’ll talk to you lat-”
*BEEP*
Awesome just stands there dumbfounded. None of that message even got recorded! That’s it! That phone call had pissed him off for the last time. He clenched the phone inside his fist and then whipped the device against the wall. Steve throws his hands up in utter frustration and walks out of the room in a huff.
“It‘s okay to be mediocre.”
The narcissistic grin of the Face of the Franchise greets us first like the Cheshire cat. The camera pans out to find Steve Awesome standing against a wall somewhere in his hometown of downtown Detroit. His long black hair flows in the wind and you could see the reflection of the sun upon his aviator sunglasses.
“It really is, Andrew. It’s a dirty, less satisfying job but somebody has to do it. Not everyone in the world can be a multi-media superstar like myself. Not everyone can become the best in the whole wide world like Steve Awesome did, oh no. See people like me, we actually need mediocre pieces of crap like you to sustain our careers. If pathetic, under achievers like Andrew Jacobsen didn’t exist for main event wrestlers to beat up on soundly and thoroughly then how else would we make ourselves look good?”
“That’s not to say you’re a jobber or anything Andrew. Although losing almost every match you’ve ever competed in doesn’t really help your case in the matter but we’ll just ignore that little detail. Honestly, your not to bad inside that ring. You got some talent kid. You got a decent look and a pretty strong grasp on the concept of wrestling. Ive read the internet forums, I’ve seen the dirt sheets….a lot of fans they like to consider you to be a younger Steve Awesome. I could see it, sort of….if I squint hard enough….yeah you’re a young me, but with like half the talent and zero charisma.”
“I mean seriously AJ? I latched onto you’re rising star? I’d put you in the not a jobber category let alone a star on the rise. You don’t even have a star, kid. I’ve taken you on the ride of your life for the past couple months and this Sunday the ride ends, Andrew. The only reason people even care about you is because they want to see me beat up so bad that they’ll back anybody who makes the attempt. This Sunday I’m going to give you the match you’ve been wishing for for weeks and when I leave you a bloody, unrecognizable mess in front of a blood thirsty Detroit crowd you can crawl back to your boring, pitiful, mundane life of eating pizza with Mexicans and Trannies in a hotel room.”
Awesome blows air from his nose like a bull as he continues his speech.
“This is the real deal Andrew. This isn’t some little cheap match against Chuck Moss down on Trauma Andrew, this is the Face of the Franchise. This is what nCw is all about. I will NOT just lay down and die, Andrew Jacobsen. I don’t do that. I can’t do that. I don’t have it in me. If you want to beat me this Sunday at Meta, if you want to use me as a stepping stone well then to quote a great….”
He starts to pace back and forth, the camera following him as he does so.
“You better step HARD. You want to remove me from this company well then you had better be willing to reach down deeper then you’ve ever reached before. Further down, past being able to take me to my limit, because up here….up where the big boys play….taking someone to they’re limit isn’t good enough Andrew. Forget Will Washington and Brad Kane, you need to do this for you Andrew. What in the hell does Andrew Jacobsen want out of all this? Respect? Redemption? The satisfaction of knowing that he isn’t the biggest joke on the roster this side of Joe Everyman? You want me gone Andrew? You want me out of your life?”
Steve lip quivers before it contorts into anger. He takes a step closer toward the camera and continues to speak through gritted teeth. Anger and passion dripping of every word.
“You want me to feel PAIN for the pain I caused you and your family? You want me to say those three words this Sunday? Well guess what junior, it’s GUT CHECK time! You need to look inside your heart and find out exactly how bad you want that to happen Andrew. NO more idle threats, no more empty promises….no more tours of Detroit in your spare time…because when our match comes and my music hits I’m coming out to that ring with one thought in mind.”
He pulls his glasses down to the bridge of his nose and his dark green eyes peer over the top. His mouth shifts into a dark, sinister grin.
“I’m coming to hurt you.”
He slowly points to his chest with his thumb.
“I don’t care much about winning or losing…..I just want to hurt you Andrew.”
He shrugs his shoulders. Like saying things like that didn’t make him seem messed up in the head.
“Whether that means breaking your leg, snapping your neck, crushing your rib cage….I don’t know…..I just know I’m going to hurt you. Badly. Because that’s how I deal with people who step out of line. It happened to Xavior Cross, it happened to Trent Helms...could happen to him again if he isn't careful......thats what I do to my friends Andrew. Friends only drag you down, they only end up getting in the way. I've gotten this far without friends, I'm not going to start worrying about it now."
He does a quick nod, obviously that last little bit made him feel better about the phone call earlier.
"And when I force you to call me your daddy you’ll finally realize that you’re nothing. You’ll finally realize that it’s okay if your mediocre. It’s okay to be average.”
He chuckles.
“Not everyone can be as good as me.”
He throws them up.
“Deuces”
Fade.