Post by Recklessly Happy on Feb 5, 2011 21:45:49 GMT -6
{ The scene opens to possibly the single most disturbing thing you will ever see in your entire life... Recklessly Happy standing in the middle of a room, covered in a red liquid with body parts and skin and organs and all kinds of what not thrown around the room. And beside him... A tiny... little... infants... shoe... Reckless looks at the shoe... At what used to be his baby... And back at the camera... }
Recklessly Happy: Joe Everyman...
{ He says as he downs a 2 liter of Pepsi... }
Recklessly Happy: YOU MADE ME DO THIS TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!
17 Hours Earlier...[/color]
RH: So whats the blue pill again?
{ Happy says as Hexx.... errr Brad says as Spike rips it out of his hands for the third time. }
Spike: RAT POISON! Spike Almighty, how many times do I have to say it?
Vertigo: Seven?
{ Smack with the newspaper. }
Vertigo: What?
Spike: I don't know, I just like hitting you... IT'S XTREME!!!!!
{ Smack! }
Vertigo: Seriously, cut it out.
Brad: But I want it!
Spike: No, absolutely not.
Brad: Fine... I QUIT!
{ Brad gets up and walks out of the hotel room. }
Vertigo: The hell?
Spike: Don't worry, he does that all the time. He'll be back.... XTREMELY... Soon.
15 minutes from then...[/color]
{ Brad sits in a sports bar, sipping away at a nice tall glass of Pepsi when suddenly a man hops up on the stool next to him. The man's small stature does not distract Brad from his drink, not at first, not until he orders. }
Mini Joe Everyman: Let me get a hamster in my pooper.
{ Brad cocks his head and eyes up his would be opponent had he not just retired. }
Brad: YOU!!!!!!!
Mini Joe Everyman: You?
{ Brad punches the wee man in the face and knocks him out of his chair. The hamster arrives in the glass and Brad rips it out of it's glass and wraps it in barbed wire and screams... }
Brad: XTREME THIS BROTHER!!!!!!
{ And he obliterates the hamster against the forehead of Mini Joe Everyman who goes down like a 280 pound sack of human ****. Brad cradles whats left of the hamster and kisses it before laying it on top of it's would be... molestor... Is it molestation when it's an animal? }
Brad: THAT'S XTREME!!! I'M XTREME!!!!!
"That's not Xtreme."
{ Brad turns to find the source of the voice... IT'S MARK "The Cat Lady" EVIL!!!! }
Mark Evil: This... Is... Xtreme...
{ And he pulls out from behind his back a Hamster grenade launcher... WTF? }
Mark Evil: A barbed wire wrapped hamster grenade launcher.
{ Of course. Brad tries to jump out of the way as Mark Evil begins to fire his gun off and literally unloads all over Brad's face. Hamster after barbed wire wrapped hamster explodes on the face of Brad. Brad falls to his knees, he can't take the onslaught of these barbed wire wrapped fur balls. He has no other recourse. He drops his pants. }
Mark Evil: Huh?
{ And catches a hamster between him bum cheeks. }
Mark Evil: I don't... Ohhh.... OHHHHH!!!!
{ And squeezes with everything he's got launching that little sum bitch right out of his ass and nailing Mark Evil dead center in the forehead. Mark Evil goes down and Brad "Happy" Kane stands victorious. The bar is cleared out at this point with nothing but the two fallen brother's "Everyman?" laying on the ground. Happy pulls out two potato sacks from behind his back. }
Brad: Time to have some fun...
3 hours after that...[/color]
{ Brad walks out the front door of the bar, his shirt is all nasty and covered in something gross, his face paint is smeared and not nearly as red as it was... and oh yeah... He's wearing MARK EVIL'S FACE!!!! BUT HALF OF IT BELONGS TO MINI JOE!!!!! HOLY ****!!!!!!! }
6 hours after that...[/color]
{ Brad walks back into the hotel room where Spike is staying. Vertigo is curled up on the ground next to Spike, sleeping soundly. }
Brad: I'M BACK!
{ Both of them shot up, Spike whips out a barbed wire wrapped pistol and begins to blow holes in the wall as Vertigo grabs his balls and rolls under the bed. }
Spike: Brad? Why would you scare me like that? That was... Well it was XTREME!
Brad: That's why. I'm way more Xtreme than you.
Spike: Are you?
{ Brad pulls out a rail road spike.... Wrapped in barbed wire and covered in shards of broken glass and hamster remains. }
Spike: I see....
20 minutes later....[/color]
{ Brad is sitting in his closet watching the latest Joe Everyman promo. His fists clench as he drinks his Pepsi. He looks down and notices the blue pill on the ground. He drops it in his Pepsi and drinks it... }
Moments before this promo began...[/color]
{ A axe hurdles through the front door of the Kane mansion. Inside are a variety of cattle ribs with pants and shirts, whole fried chickens in an assortment of masks, one or two roast pigs in kids out fits and a watermelon with a whig. The door comes crashing down.... Brad stands in the door with his barbed wire wrapped axe... }
Brad: HERE'S RECKLESS...LY!
NOW![/color]
{ There is nothing left, not a single member of the Kane family is left. Brad, in a drunken Pepsi and rat poison rage has slaughtered the mock family. Brad stands in the mess, ribs and pig heads scattered about, not to mention the penis size hole in the watermelon, breathing heavy. }
Brad: JOBBER!!!!!??11111!!!!!??11111!!!!??!111?!?!?!?!@1!2111
{ !!!!!!! }
Brad: I'M A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION! NOT JUST HERE BUT IN PWF! CWF! AWF! TWF! TNA! ECF! TCF! WCWF! AWFDTR!!!! ABC! XYZ! DNA! AWA! METALLICA! AND EVERYWHERE ELSE!
{ YEAH! }
Brad: And your what? What? WHAT!
{ What? }
Brad: A former national champion? A piss poor national champion who can't even beat a washed up Jack Manson and Ricky Johnson? A piss poor national champion who can't even hack it against the young guns without that pedophile sleeping with every little girl in the front row to distract Venom so you could use your patented Falcon roll up to steal a win? A piss poor insignificant gutless little coward who can't even stand up for his woman when some guy is laying up on her right in front of you and he's made a vow to god not to bang your wife but he does it anyway because your not going to do anything to stop him because your balls are so tightly packed away in your wifes pocket book that you don't even know where your balls end and her bag begins but you decide to just lay down and die anyways and you call me a jobber!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
{ Run on sentence much? }
Brad: I'm not a jobber. I'm Reckless F@CKING JACK! And I'm going to kill you just like I KILLED EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE OF YOU! You will pay for this Pepsi induced massacre because if it wasn't for YOU I never would have gone back to the bottle and done this horrible thing I have done but because you have chosen to push me over the edge and send me back to the dark place where the devil doth lie I have taken the life's of those I love and now I know I can certainly take your life because your life means nothing to me and besides I'm totally going to blow a load on your face when I'm done because I SORT OF FIND YOU SEXY!
{ I'm lost. }
Brad: So sleep well princess because you have woken the beast. THE DRAGON! THE RECKLESS ONE HIMSELF WHO HAS SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL FOR NCW AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THE WORLD CHAMPION OF THE WHOLE WORLD BECAUSE I AM GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!
{ Jack Hamster walks onto the scene. }
Jack Hamster: Joe seem like an alright chap.
{ Brad looks at him like he's a piece of meat. Pepsi drips from Brad's lips like blood.... }
Jack Hamster: What? Do I have a bit o' fish and chips on my face?
{ His lip quivers with anger. }
Brad: GET IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
{ Jack runs as Brad raises the axe.... }
The next day...[/color]
"How the hell did he get a whole grown British man in his ass?"
{ Says Doctor Hitler as Spike and Vertigo just shake their heads from side to side. }
Spike: THAT'S OUT BRAD!
{ The End. }
Recklessly Happy: Joe Everyman...
{ He says as he downs a 2 liter of Pepsi... }
Recklessly Happy: YOU MADE ME DO THIS TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!
17 Hours Earlier...[/color]
RH: So whats the blue pill again?
{ Happy says as Hexx.... errr Brad says as Spike rips it out of his hands for the third time. }
Spike: RAT POISON! Spike Almighty, how many times do I have to say it?
Vertigo: Seven?
{ Smack with the newspaper. }
Vertigo: What?
Spike: I don't know, I just like hitting you... IT'S XTREME!!!!!
{ Smack! }
Vertigo: Seriously, cut it out.
Brad: But I want it!
Spike: No, absolutely not.
Brad: Fine... I QUIT!
{ Brad gets up and walks out of the hotel room. }
Vertigo: The hell?
Spike: Don't worry, he does that all the time. He'll be back.... XTREMELY... Soon.
15 minutes from then...[/color]
{ Brad sits in a sports bar, sipping away at a nice tall glass of Pepsi when suddenly a man hops up on the stool next to him. The man's small stature does not distract Brad from his drink, not at first, not until he orders. }
Mini Joe Everyman: Let me get a hamster in my pooper.
{ Brad cocks his head and eyes up his would be opponent had he not just retired. }
Brad: YOU!!!!!!!
Mini Joe Everyman: You?
{ Brad punches the wee man in the face and knocks him out of his chair. The hamster arrives in the glass and Brad rips it out of it's glass and wraps it in barbed wire and screams... }
Brad: XTREME THIS BROTHER!!!!!!
{ And he obliterates the hamster against the forehead of Mini Joe Everyman who goes down like a 280 pound sack of human ****. Brad cradles whats left of the hamster and kisses it before laying it on top of it's would be... molestor... Is it molestation when it's an animal? }
Brad: THAT'S XTREME!!! I'M XTREME!!!!!
"That's not Xtreme."
{ Brad turns to find the source of the voice... IT'S MARK "The Cat Lady" EVIL!!!! }
Mark Evil: This... Is... Xtreme...
{ And he pulls out from behind his back a Hamster grenade launcher... WTF? }
Mark Evil: A barbed wire wrapped hamster grenade launcher.
{ Of course. Brad tries to jump out of the way as Mark Evil begins to fire his gun off and literally unloads all over Brad's face. Hamster after barbed wire wrapped hamster explodes on the face of Brad. Brad falls to his knees, he can't take the onslaught of these barbed wire wrapped fur balls. He has no other recourse. He drops his pants. }
Mark Evil: Huh?
{ And catches a hamster between him bum cheeks. }
Mark Evil: I don't... Ohhh.... OHHHHH!!!!
{ And squeezes with everything he's got launching that little sum bitch right out of his ass and nailing Mark Evil dead center in the forehead. Mark Evil goes down and Brad "Happy" Kane stands victorious. The bar is cleared out at this point with nothing but the two fallen brother's "Everyman?" laying on the ground. Happy pulls out two potato sacks from behind his back. }
Brad: Time to have some fun...
3 hours after that...[/color]
{ Brad walks out the front door of the bar, his shirt is all nasty and covered in something gross, his face paint is smeared and not nearly as red as it was... and oh yeah... He's wearing MARK EVIL'S FACE!!!! BUT HALF OF IT BELONGS TO MINI JOE!!!!! HOLY ****!!!!!!! }
6 hours after that...[/color]
{ Brad walks back into the hotel room where Spike is staying. Vertigo is curled up on the ground next to Spike, sleeping soundly. }
Brad: I'M BACK!
{ Both of them shot up, Spike whips out a barbed wire wrapped pistol and begins to blow holes in the wall as Vertigo grabs his balls and rolls under the bed. }
Spike: Brad? Why would you scare me like that? That was... Well it was XTREME!
Brad: That's why. I'm way more Xtreme than you.
Spike: Are you?
{ Brad pulls out a rail road spike.... Wrapped in barbed wire and covered in shards of broken glass and hamster remains. }
Spike: I see....
20 minutes later....[/color]
{ Brad is sitting in his closet watching the latest Joe Everyman promo. His fists clench as he drinks his Pepsi. He looks down and notices the blue pill on the ground. He drops it in his Pepsi and drinks it... }
Moments before this promo began...[/color]
{ A axe hurdles through the front door of the Kane mansion. Inside are a variety of cattle ribs with pants and shirts, whole fried chickens in an assortment of masks, one or two roast pigs in kids out fits and a watermelon with a whig. The door comes crashing down.... Brad stands in the door with his barbed wire wrapped axe... }
Brad: HERE'S RECKLESS...LY!
NOW![/color]
{ There is nothing left, not a single member of the Kane family is left. Brad, in a drunken Pepsi and rat poison rage has slaughtered the mock family. Brad stands in the mess, ribs and pig heads scattered about, not to mention the penis size hole in the watermelon, breathing heavy. }
Brad: JOBBER!!!!!??11111!!!!!??11111!!!!??!111?!?!?!?!@1!2111
{ !!!!!!! }
Brad: I'M A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION! NOT JUST HERE BUT IN PWF! CWF! AWF! TWF! TNA! ECF! TCF! WCWF! AWFDTR!!!! ABC! XYZ! DNA! AWA! METALLICA! AND EVERYWHERE ELSE!
{ YEAH! }
Brad: And your what? What? WHAT!
{ What? }
Brad: A former national champion? A piss poor national champion who can't even beat a washed up Jack Manson and Ricky Johnson? A piss poor national champion who can't even hack it against the young guns without that pedophile sleeping with every little girl in the front row to distract Venom so you could use your patented Falcon roll up to steal a win? A piss poor insignificant gutless little coward who can't even stand up for his woman when some guy is laying up on her right in front of you and he's made a vow to god not to bang your wife but he does it anyway because your not going to do anything to stop him because your balls are so tightly packed away in your wifes pocket book that you don't even know where your balls end and her bag begins but you decide to just lay down and die anyways and you call me a jobber!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
{ Run on sentence much? }
Brad: I'm not a jobber. I'm Reckless F@CKING JACK! And I'm going to kill you just like I KILLED EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE OF YOU! You will pay for this Pepsi induced massacre because if it wasn't for YOU I never would have gone back to the bottle and done this horrible thing I have done but because you have chosen to push me over the edge and send me back to the dark place where the devil doth lie I have taken the life's of those I love and now I know I can certainly take your life because your life means nothing to me and besides I'm totally going to blow a load on your face when I'm done because I SORT OF FIND YOU SEXY!
{ I'm lost. }
Brad: So sleep well princess because you have woken the beast. THE DRAGON! THE RECKLESS ONE HIMSELF WHO HAS SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL FOR NCW AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN BE THE WORLD CHAMPION OF THE WHOLE WORLD BECAUSE I AM GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!
{ Jack Hamster walks onto the scene. }
Jack Hamster: Joe seem like an alright chap.
{ Brad looks at him like he's a piece of meat. Pepsi drips from Brad's lips like blood.... }
Jack Hamster: What? Do I have a bit o' fish and chips on my face?
{ His lip quivers with anger. }
Brad: GET IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
{ Jack runs as Brad raises the axe.... }
The next day...[/color]
"How the hell did he get a whole grown British man in his ass?"
{ Says Doctor Hitler as Spike and Vertigo just shake their heads from side to side. }
Spike: THAT'S OUT BRAD!
{ The End. }