Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 15, 2011 13:40:48 GMT -6
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear…”
Scene up on the Face of the Franchise. He had that arrogant smirk on his face, the one he showed to just about everyone that’s ever crossed his path. The face that said without words, that he was a man that has earned himself a reputation for being the best and he would defend that rep at any moment.
…I’m Steve Awesome. And I get what I want.”
The camera pans out a bit and we see Steve standing in some room of his house. The place just seemed to sparkle with exuberance. Everything you saw around him was top of the line. The clothes he wore were the highest name brand. The piercing in his ear were diamond encrusted. Even the chain that connected his wallet to his belt loop was sterling silver. All the things you see in his possession were earned during his career. A career that was made by defying the odds and making moments that will last forever. He earned it by being a star.
“Anything in this world, no matter what it is, if I want it I will find a way to make it mine. Call it a command and conquer type of mentality. I’ve done a lot of things in my career, I’ve sold out arenas, I’ve starred in films, acted in commercials, cameo’s in television, corporate sponsors, I’ve been all over the world using this pretty face….
He lifts up his shirt and runs his knuckles along his abdominal muscles.
“…these sexy abs, and my God given talents, to bring in the cash and create a legacy that will live on even after I die. Needless to say, I have the sources and the cash flow to get just about anything. But of all the things in this world that I would want, Trent Helms locked in a cage and shipped to Guam, Ander Carvetti to paint himself orange and sing the Oompa Loompa song, Alex Jones to stop kidding himself and admit he sucks, a Mark Evil t-shirt, there’s really only two things that I actually want.”
He holds up two fingers and smiles from underneath his designer sunglasses. A quick flip of the hair sends his black hair back into it’s place.
“The first thing is probably the easiest to guess, but the most important of the two. That of course being the nCw World Heavyweight Championship. I want it.”
He slides his sunglasses down to the bridge of his nose and stares over the lenses with his own green eyes.
Desprately.
He flips the shades back up into place.
“Why?”
He shrugs.
“I just do. That world title is the pinnacle of this business. That world title is better then any other world title in the world and I want to be the man that gets to call himself champion. If you’re not here to become the world champion then you need to kill yourself and quit wasting time. I don’t need to be the best. I don’t need to be the most talented or have the most heart. I just need to pin one guy and it’s all mine. I don’t have some fancy story about finding myself and creating my own legacy and all that cute stuff like Xander does. Speaking of, **** your legacy homeless boy. You think anybody gives a rats ass about you and how “happy” you’ve become? Oh great, you’ve finally made piece with your drunk and retarded Dad. You both have the acute ability to lose a title a month after you won it and you both insist on dressing up like bad eighties slasher villains and stealing women from me.
Steve rolls his eyes and laughs to himself. Both Xander and Gib tried so hard to bring him down. They tried so hard to eliminate Steve Awesome but they both ultimately failed at taming the Lion. Like father like son, right?
“So this is you as a regular guy eh Xander? This is you without the creepy make up and the creepy psycho need to help Angel kill your dad. This is what the world is subject too? Cute little stories about how you finally have found the happiness in your life and you get these little moments with your old geriatric father. You put an arm around him and you tell him you love him and then he puts his arm around you and tell you he loves you too, but not as much as Zelda, but your still cool. Then they cue the nineties sitcom violin track and everything works out for the best right?”
He gives the camera a dead pan stare. The type of stare he stares when things he’s watching suck.
“You know what? On second thought, you better put the mask back on. You as Homeless Harold was like the only redeeming quality of your entire career. Hey, there’s another attribute you share you with your AARP member of a dad. At least as Homeless Harold you stuck out from the crowd. At least as Harold, people were actually frightened by you. But now…..your just a dime a dozen Xander. Just another douche with baggage. You have “douche baggage” Xander, and if you think for one moment that I’m just going to step aside because apparently I’m old or something? Then obviously retardation is another trait that runs along your blood line. Because….
He steps forward, closer to the camera as he reaches up and pulls his sunglasses off his face.
“I WANT the world championship. And when I want something…..I find a way to make it happen. I don’t have to beat five guys, I just have to beat one. Maybe I’ll make that person you Xander and you’ll find out that wether your in your fathers shadow or if your sucking his balls and stealing his gimmick, you actually need the talent to go along with making a legacy. Okay George?”
Yes, that was a reference to of Mice and Men. Yes, I read books. He slides his sunglasses back on his face like the cool guys he is and he tops the fluid movement with a cocky grin.
“And as for the other thing that I want….”
“Zelda……Zelda……Zelda….Zelda……”
Scene opens on a conversation taking place between the two super cute love birds known as Zelda Knite and Rob Diamond. They were both sitting at some table holding hands and looking into each others eyes. Probably just because of all the excitement going on through the air. Zelda may or may not be pregnant, Rob may or may not become world champion, that may or may not be chicken wings in a basket next to them on the table. Despite the debauchery from the both of them and all the hatred that seems to target them, they actually love each other. Very much so.
“….Zelda….Zelda….Hey Zelda……Hey Zelda…”
Oh yeah, and Steve Awesome was there too. Brothers in Infamy usually stick together. He sat on the other side of the table, staring at the precious moment with a turned up lip and a dedication to getting Zelda’s attention.
“…Z…….Z…….Sydney…..Sydney…..”
Either Zelda doesn’t here him or she’s trying to ignore him and finish the conversation with Rob. But we all know Steve, and we know he refuses to be ignored.
“….Zel….Duh……Zel…..Duh…..”
All of a sudden, Steve produces some kind of stick and starts poking the longest reigning women’s champion in the face.
“Hey Zelda….”
“OH MY GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”
She yells, finally getting fed up. Steve’s jaw drops and then he just seems a little discouraged after that.
“Nothing….”
He lowers his head and crosses his arms like a three year old that just got in trouble. Even though Steve was annoying her to know end, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy now. That protruding lower lip was a nice touch. She glances at Rob who just smiles and shrugs it off. Zelda just sighs.
“I’m sorry Steve, what do you need?”
Steve’s face lights back up and he looks at his buddies girlfriend with a smile.
“Did Crystal ever text you back?”
Zelda instantly face palms.
“UGH! You literally just asked me that like two minutes ago. You have to give the girl a chance to actually get the text.”
Steve leans back in his chair and groans.
“Awh man…..but she’s just so hot! I wan’t to do things to her, so bad! I hate waiting!”
She glances over at Rob who was nodding his head.
“It’s true. He does,”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cut to Steve Awesome throwing a copy of the movie “Waiting” starring that piece of crap Dane Cook into a garbage can. It thuds when It hit’s the bottom and Steve wipes his hands clean after he closes the lid. He suddenly glances back up at the camera.
“Oh….were you expecting a joke? No, I just literally hate that movie.”
He walks away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We come back and Steve’s face is buried in his palms at the table and Zelda is shaking her head. Finally Rob chimes in.
“Just check your phone babe.”
“But I just…..”
“Yeah I know. But the sooner you hear word back, the sooner we can…..you know…..”
He smiles a cheeky grin and motions toward a closed door, presumably a bed room. Zelda gets the hint and quickly pulls out her cell phone. It was pink and all bedazzled like most chicks. That didn’t matter much, but I just felt like saying it. She glances at her screen and sure enough, a Crystal text did come through. She hit’s the button and reads it.
“Oh hey, she says she just got into town and she’s checking into the hotel down the road and……”
Before she could even glance up she hears the sounds of foot steps, a door slamming, a car starting and then peeling out. She glances up and the dust particles in the form of Steve Awesome slowly dissipate into the air.
“Wow….that was almost as quick as Jacobsen in Vegas….
Zelda keeps reading the text. Obviously ignoring the Jacobsen joke.
“Oh…and apparently Todd is with her. Crap! I have to call Steve before something bad happens.”
Rob quickly puts his hand over her phone and stops her.
“I’m sure he’ll figure it out for himself…..and when he does....It will be funny."
Rob smiles and the two possible parents embrace and share a kiss.
“The Coliseum mean’s everything….”
“Six men put everything they have on the line….
“For one prize…..”
“I deserve that prize…..
“Because im a man that has grown up…..
“And I show that now…..
“Because….
I….
Talk….
Like….
That wheelchair kid…..
From Malcolm in the Middle.
And I love my wife….
And I’m an emo….
Brooding….
Douchebag…..
Scene up as we find a man with dark hair sitting at a Bay Window watching thunderstorm and writing poetry in a notebook. Suddenly the man writing words on the page stops and starts tapping his cheek with his pencil.
“Hmmm…..what else rhymes with “I totally didn’t fail, even though I did”?
He thinks about I for a few moments then just shrugs it off.
“What do I know about failing? I haven’t been beaten in two months!”
The man sets the note book to the side and turns around to face the camera. Of course it was Steve Awesome. Who else can look that good from the back view? Anyway, he’s about to make fun of Alex Jones for sucking.
“Don’t waste your time Alex…..I know the whole story. You didn’t fail, you were screwed out of the title by Adam and then later his own sister. But let’s forget about the story and look at the facts okay? You come back here and claim that you deserve a world title shot. You jump in front of the line and push everyone back because of some BS reasoning and everyone just lets it happen. You talk all this trash, you make it out to be some type of destiny that’s about to be fulfilled and then Cross Roads happens and guess what……your not the champion. I don’t care if you got “screwed”, I don’t care if you were a finger tips length away from winning the title, the fact remains that despite everything you said when everything was said and done you are not the world champion. Despite touching it with your finger tips and seeing your reflection with that stupid emo hair flip you have going on, you couldn’t just pull it down? I mean for the love of God…..MARK EVIL has a better title reign then you AJ and he was champ for thirty effing seconds. Man that must feel horrible.”
He slowly shakes his head in disgust. Anybody that seems lower then Mark Evil must have issues.
“And then what happened? You got all pissy and started declaring that you would do anything in the world to get another shot at the title. Nothing is going to stop me from getting back what was stolen from me. I will do anything!”
Steve blinks.
“Okay, apparently “anything“, doesn’t include beating Rob Diamond or actually earning your shot. Jeez, I wish I could lose a match and still get to be in the Coliseum. I wish I could fail at everything I do and still main event pay per views. Let me explain something to you AJ…..your just not good enough to hold the nCw title. Okay? You just can’t hack it. Faith….is against you. Your just a pathetic X-Division wrestler who thinks that because he was champ in that old place we used to work at, that he should be champ here. But that’s not the case. After that abysmal run over there, you think God wants you to be champion anywhere else? Of course not! That’s why he keeps sending Knites to stop you if you ever get to close. You’re the only one of us who didn’t even earn his entrance. At this point Alex…..Mark Evil deserves to be in this match more then you do. He beat two former National Champions at the same time while you got your ass kicked by Rob Diamond and the man whose balls are attached to your lips gave you this match as an effing consolation prize!? Seriously, how many times do you have to fail before you just give up and stop trying?
Another disgusted shake of the head. Man, Alex Jones is one disgusting individual.
“You like to talk about how arrogant and cocky you are. AJ, your not cocky, your just stupid. Your not some top guy around here, your just annoying. Anybody else in this entire company deserves a title shot before you. Nobody created a stable just to stop you, like they did to me. Because nobody considers you a threat. But I’ll tell you what Alex…..I want to make it my mission, if I don’t win the match….I’m going to make sure that YOU don’t! Because you being a world champion is a slap in the face of everyone who stays here week in and week out and busts there ass in that ring. It’s a slap in the face of every guy who works hard and waits to be recognized for it when a chump stain like you comes walking in after your little vacations and then gets that title shot. I’m sick of you Alex…..and now it’s time for me to end your little charade once and for all.
He reaches up and pulls his sunglasses off his face.
“The coliseum belongs to me guys. I am the new Gladiator and I will go on to A Night To Remember and become the next nCw World Champion.”
He smiles that arrogant smirk. The one that taunts his opponents to try and stop them, even though he knew they couldn’t. He quickly throws them up.
“Deuces.”
End.
Scene up on the Face of the Franchise. He had that arrogant smirk on his face, the one he showed to just about everyone that’s ever crossed his path. The face that said without words, that he was a man that has earned himself a reputation for being the best and he would defend that rep at any moment.
…I’m Steve Awesome. And I get what I want.”
The camera pans out a bit and we see Steve standing in some room of his house. The place just seemed to sparkle with exuberance. Everything you saw around him was top of the line. The clothes he wore were the highest name brand. The piercing in his ear were diamond encrusted. Even the chain that connected his wallet to his belt loop was sterling silver. All the things you see in his possession were earned during his career. A career that was made by defying the odds and making moments that will last forever. He earned it by being a star.
“Anything in this world, no matter what it is, if I want it I will find a way to make it mine. Call it a command and conquer type of mentality. I’ve done a lot of things in my career, I’ve sold out arenas, I’ve starred in films, acted in commercials, cameo’s in television, corporate sponsors, I’ve been all over the world using this pretty face….
He lifts up his shirt and runs his knuckles along his abdominal muscles.
“…these sexy abs, and my God given talents, to bring in the cash and create a legacy that will live on even after I die. Needless to say, I have the sources and the cash flow to get just about anything. But of all the things in this world that I would want, Trent Helms locked in a cage and shipped to Guam, Ander Carvetti to paint himself orange and sing the Oompa Loompa song, Alex Jones to stop kidding himself and admit he sucks, a Mark Evil t-shirt, there’s really only two things that I actually want.”
He holds up two fingers and smiles from underneath his designer sunglasses. A quick flip of the hair sends his black hair back into it’s place.
“The first thing is probably the easiest to guess, but the most important of the two. That of course being the nCw World Heavyweight Championship. I want it.”
He slides his sunglasses down to the bridge of his nose and stares over the lenses with his own green eyes.
Desprately.
He flips the shades back up into place.
“Why?”
He shrugs.
“I just do. That world title is the pinnacle of this business. That world title is better then any other world title in the world and I want to be the man that gets to call himself champion. If you’re not here to become the world champion then you need to kill yourself and quit wasting time. I don’t need to be the best. I don’t need to be the most talented or have the most heart. I just need to pin one guy and it’s all mine. I don’t have some fancy story about finding myself and creating my own legacy and all that cute stuff like Xander does. Speaking of, **** your legacy homeless boy. You think anybody gives a rats ass about you and how “happy” you’ve become? Oh great, you’ve finally made piece with your drunk and retarded Dad. You both have the acute ability to lose a title a month after you won it and you both insist on dressing up like bad eighties slasher villains and stealing women from me.
Steve rolls his eyes and laughs to himself. Both Xander and Gib tried so hard to bring him down. They tried so hard to eliminate Steve Awesome but they both ultimately failed at taming the Lion. Like father like son, right?
“So this is you as a regular guy eh Xander? This is you without the creepy make up and the creepy psycho need to help Angel kill your dad. This is what the world is subject too? Cute little stories about how you finally have found the happiness in your life and you get these little moments with your old geriatric father. You put an arm around him and you tell him you love him and then he puts his arm around you and tell you he loves you too, but not as much as Zelda, but your still cool. Then they cue the nineties sitcom violin track and everything works out for the best right?”
He gives the camera a dead pan stare. The type of stare he stares when things he’s watching suck.
“You know what? On second thought, you better put the mask back on. You as Homeless Harold was like the only redeeming quality of your entire career. Hey, there’s another attribute you share you with your AARP member of a dad. At least as Homeless Harold you stuck out from the crowd. At least as Harold, people were actually frightened by you. But now…..your just a dime a dozen Xander. Just another douche with baggage. You have “douche baggage” Xander, and if you think for one moment that I’m just going to step aside because apparently I’m old or something? Then obviously retardation is another trait that runs along your blood line. Because….
He steps forward, closer to the camera as he reaches up and pulls his sunglasses off his face.
“I WANT the world championship. And when I want something…..I find a way to make it happen. I don’t have to beat five guys, I just have to beat one. Maybe I’ll make that person you Xander and you’ll find out that wether your in your fathers shadow or if your sucking his balls and stealing his gimmick, you actually need the talent to go along with making a legacy. Okay George?”
Yes, that was a reference to of Mice and Men. Yes, I read books. He slides his sunglasses back on his face like the cool guys he is and he tops the fluid movement with a cocky grin.
“And as for the other thing that I want….”
“Zelda……Zelda……Zelda….Zelda……”
Scene opens on a conversation taking place between the two super cute love birds known as Zelda Knite and Rob Diamond. They were both sitting at some table holding hands and looking into each others eyes. Probably just because of all the excitement going on through the air. Zelda may or may not be pregnant, Rob may or may not become world champion, that may or may not be chicken wings in a basket next to them on the table. Despite the debauchery from the both of them and all the hatred that seems to target them, they actually love each other. Very much so.
“….Zelda….Zelda….Hey Zelda……Hey Zelda…”
Oh yeah, and Steve Awesome was there too. Brothers in Infamy usually stick together. He sat on the other side of the table, staring at the precious moment with a turned up lip and a dedication to getting Zelda’s attention.
“…Z…….Z…….Sydney…..Sydney…..”
Either Zelda doesn’t here him or she’s trying to ignore him and finish the conversation with Rob. But we all know Steve, and we know he refuses to be ignored.
“….Zel….Duh……Zel…..Duh…..”
All of a sudden, Steve produces some kind of stick and starts poking the longest reigning women’s champion in the face.
“Hey Zelda….”
“OH MY GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”
She yells, finally getting fed up. Steve’s jaw drops and then he just seems a little discouraged after that.
“Nothing….”
He lowers his head and crosses his arms like a three year old that just got in trouble. Even though Steve was annoying her to know end, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy now. That protruding lower lip was a nice touch. She glances at Rob who just smiles and shrugs it off. Zelda just sighs.
“I’m sorry Steve, what do you need?”
Steve’s face lights back up and he looks at his buddies girlfriend with a smile.
“Did Crystal ever text you back?”
Zelda instantly face palms.
“UGH! You literally just asked me that like two minutes ago. You have to give the girl a chance to actually get the text.”
Steve leans back in his chair and groans.
“Awh man…..but she’s just so hot! I wan’t to do things to her, so bad! I hate waiting!”
She glances over at Rob who was nodding his head.
“It’s true. He does,”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cut to Steve Awesome throwing a copy of the movie “Waiting” starring that piece of crap Dane Cook into a garbage can. It thuds when It hit’s the bottom and Steve wipes his hands clean after he closes the lid. He suddenly glances back up at the camera.
“Oh….were you expecting a joke? No, I just literally hate that movie.”
He walks away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We come back and Steve’s face is buried in his palms at the table and Zelda is shaking her head. Finally Rob chimes in.
“Just check your phone babe.”
“But I just…..”
“Yeah I know. But the sooner you hear word back, the sooner we can…..you know…..”
He smiles a cheeky grin and motions toward a closed door, presumably a bed room. Zelda gets the hint and quickly pulls out her cell phone. It was pink and all bedazzled like most chicks. That didn’t matter much, but I just felt like saying it. She glances at her screen and sure enough, a Crystal text did come through. She hit’s the button and reads it.
“Oh hey, she says she just got into town and she’s checking into the hotel down the road and……”
Before she could even glance up she hears the sounds of foot steps, a door slamming, a car starting and then peeling out. She glances up and the dust particles in the form of Steve Awesome slowly dissipate into the air.
“Wow….that was almost as quick as Jacobsen in Vegas….
Zelda keeps reading the text. Obviously ignoring the Jacobsen joke.
“Oh…and apparently Todd is with her. Crap! I have to call Steve before something bad happens.”
Rob quickly puts his hand over her phone and stops her.
“I’m sure he’ll figure it out for himself…..and when he does....It will be funny."
Rob smiles and the two possible parents embrace and share a kiss.
“The Coliseum mean’s everything….”
“Six men put everything they have on the line….
“For one prize…..”
“I deserve that prize…..
“Because im a man that has grown up…..
“And I show that now…..
“Because….
I….
Talk….
Like….
That wheelchair kid…..
From Malcolm in the Middle.
And I love my wife….
And I’m an emo….
Brooding….
Douchebag…..
Scene up as we find a man with dark hair sitting at a Bay Window watching thunderstorm and writing poetry in a notebook. Suddenly the man writing words on the page stops and starts tapping his cheek with his pencil.
“Hmmm…..what else rhymes with “I totally didn’t fail, even though I did”?
He thinks about I for a few moments then just shrugs it off.
“What do I know about failing? I haven’t been beaten in two months!”
The man sets the note book to the side and turns around to face the camera. Of course it was Steve Awesome. Who else can look that good from the back view? Anyway, he’s about to make fun of Alex Jones for sucking.
“Don’t waste your time Alex…..I know the whole story. You didn’t fail, you were screwed out of the title by Adam and then later his own sister. But let’s forget about the story and look at the facts okay? You come back here and claim that you deserve a world title shot. You jump in front of the line and push everyone back because of some BS reasoning and everyone just lets it happen. You talk all this trash, you make it out to be some type of destiny that’s about to be fulfilled and then Cross Roads happens and guess what……your not the champion. I don’t care if you got “screwed”, I don’t care if you were a finger tips length away from winning the title, the fact remains that despite everything you said when everything was said and done you are not the world champion. Despite touching it with your finger tips and seeing your reflection with that stupid emo hair flip you have going on, you couldn’t just pull it down? I mean for the love of God…..MARK EVIL has a better title reign then you AJ and he was champ for thirty effing seconds. Man that must feel horrible.”
He slowly shakes his head in disgust. Anybody that seems lower then Mark Evil must have issues.
“And then what happened? You got all pissy and started declaring that you would do anything in the world to get another shot at the title. Nothing is going to stop me from getting back what was stolen from me. I will do anything!”
Steve blinks.
“Okay, apparently “anything“, doesn’t include beating Rob Diamond or actually earning your shot. Jeez, I wish I could lose a match and still get to be in the Coliseum. I wish I could fail at everything I do and still main event pay per views. Let me explain something to you AJ…..your just not good enough to hold the nCw title. Okay? You just can’t hack it. Faith….is against you. Your just a pathetic X-Division wrestler who thinks that because he was champ in that old place we used to work at, that he should be champ here. But that’s not the case. After that abysmal run over there, you think God wants you to be champion anywhere else? Of course not! That’s why he keeps sending Knites to stop you if you ever get to close. You’re the only one of us who didn’t even earn his entrance. At this point Alex…..Mark Evil deserves to be in this match more then you do. He beat two former National Champions at the same time while you got your ass kicked by Rob Diamond and the man whose balls are attached to your lips gave you this match as an effing consolation prize!? Seriously, how many times do you have to fail before you just give up and stop trying?
Another disgusted shake of the head. Man, Alex Jones is one disgusting individual.
“You like to talk about how arrogant and cocky you are. AJ, your not cocky, your just stupid. Your not some top guy around here, your just annoying. Anybody else in this entire company deserves a title shot before you. Nobody created a stable just to stop you, like they did to me. Because nobody considers you a threat. But I’ll tell you what Alex…..I want to make it my mission, if I don’t win the match….I’m going to make sure that YOU don’t! Because you being a world champion is a slap in the face of everyone who stays here week in and week out and busts there ass in that ring. It’s a slap in the face of every guy who works hard and waits to be recognized for it when a chump stain like you comes walking in after your little vacations and then gets that title shot. I’m sick of you Alex…..and now it’s time for me to end your little charade once and for all.
He reaches up and pulls his sunglasses off his face.
“The coliseum belongs to me guys. I am the new Gladiator and I will go on to A Night To Remember and become the next nCw World Champion.”
He smiles that arrogant smirk. The one that taunts his opponents to try and stop them, even though he knew they couldn’t. He quickly throws them up.
“Deuces.”
End.