Post by Adam Knite on May 21, 2011 22:05:56 GMT -6
[We open up after the opening theme song and video montage set to the sounds of “You make my Dreams come True” by Hall and Oates to see Adam Knite, his best friend Curtis Kanyon coming in behind. They throw their luggage into the floor and look around the room.]
Adam: Ahh man, this is going to be great... College, can you believe it we're finally here.
Kanyon: It's going to be kick ass, hot co-eds, drinking, debauchery and all night parties.
Adam: Yeah right... more like studying all night and football practice all day...
Kanyon: I'm fine with either way.... as long as I get a couple one night stands that I will inevitably later regret in life.
[Suddenly their door breaks open on the other side of their room as Kelly Fox comes running in looking at the floor. Kanyon licks his hand and then runs it through his hair as he stares at her get on all fours.]
Kanyon: Speaking of that... excuse me...
[Kanyon heads over to Kelly who suddenly shoots up and surprises him, sending him taking a step backwards as she frantically looks around.]
Kelly: I'm so sorry for this, but have either of you seen a chinchilla running through here? Mr. Giggles escaped from his cage.... oh hi... I'm Kelly by the way... but seriously... chinchilla...
Kanyon: What in the hell is a chinchilla... holy crap a rat!
[Kanyon rips his shoe off his foot and begins chasing after the furry creator running across the floor, Kelly screams as Kanyon takes a mighty swing down but Adam catches his arm and stops him before picking up Mr. Giggles and holding him.]
Kanyon: Adam what are you doing that thing might have rabies!
Adam: It's her chinchilla you ass!
Kanyon: A chinchilla is a fuzzy rat?
[Kelly shoves Kanyon in the chest and politely takes Mr. Giggles from Adam who is offering it to her.]
Kelly: Oh thank you! I don't know what would happen if I lost Mr. Giggles, or if some big idiot would have smashed him with a boot.
Kanyon: Hey, you're the one who let a rat out in our room...
Kelly: Stop calling Mr. Giggles a rat! God!
Adam: I'm really sorry about my friend over there, he can be a little... dense at times.
Kelly: It's ok... thank you again for saving my pet.... I love across the lounge by the way... looks like we're going to be neighbors.
Adam: Lucky us...
[Kelly laughs a quick chuckle before she smiles at Adam who is grinning back at her, their little moment though is broken up as Crystal Hilton and Sydney Famularo walk into the guy's room from the lounge area and look sad.]
Crystal: We couldn't find him anywhere Kelly...
Sydney: Oh, wow, looks like you got him.
Kelly: Oh hey girls, yeah they helped me.... meet or new neighbors... uh I didn't catch your names.
Adam: I'm Adam and my big oaf of a friend here is Kanyon.
Kelly: These are Sydney and Crystal, my best friends, but we have to go, got cheerleader practice.
Kanyon: Wait wait wait... we're living across the hall from three hot ass cheerleaders?
[Adam punches Kanyon in the upper arm who turns and looks at him confused.]
Kanyon: WHAT!?
Kelly: Despite that sexist remark... I'll answer... yes... well me and Syd are... Crystal is more like a member of the chess club.. but she likes to hang out with us.
Adam: Well that's great... me and Kanyon are on the football team...
Kanyon: Yeah Adam here was all-state, he's going to be a big star soon, with me
Kelly: Well then, I suppose we'll see you tonight at the big first day of school bon fire right?
Adam: Looking forward to it.
[The girls turn and exist the room as Kanyon and Adam nod their heads at each other, but they are suddenly shocked at the sight of somebody bursting into their room wearing a giant Lizard suit of some sort. Adam and Kanyon whip around in confusion. The man takes off the head and reveals himself to be Trent Helms.]
Adam: Who are you?
Trent: I'm your roommate...
Kanyon: Why are you dressed like a giant lizard?
Trent: Salamander thank you... I'm the mascot.. Sir Isaac NEWTon.
Adam: Are you running from something?
Trent: I'm the school mascot... don't you know the tradition between us and Bundy University right?
[They both shrug.]
Trent: Before the big bon fire the best players on their team “kidnap” Sir Isaac Newton and hang him from the goal post on their field and hit him with sticks... like a pinata while filming it. Every year they try...
Adam: Then don't be the mascot...
Kanyon: Seems like an easy solution to me..
Trent: It's supposed to be a sign of honor for our mascot and a rallying point for the big game if I'm captured you know... getting revenge and for Bundy it's supposed to be getting on over on us. The worst part is people are wanting it to happen! Bundy U is supposed to be good this year so They've been giving me high fives telling me how awesome I am and how this will really light a fire in the team.
Adam: So you like that kind of attention, but you just don't wan to be hanged from a goal post and beat with a wiffle bat?
Trent: Exactly. I've been having to watch my back all day, I think I saw them trying to make their move earlier but I ran in here...
Kanyon: Ok buddy, you're one of use now, we'll do our best to make sure nothing happens to you.
{{SCENE CHANGE: LATER THAT NIGHT}}
[That night Adam and DDK are dressed in their football jersey's outside with the burning fire behind them. They stand watching the cheerleaders getting the crowd worked into a frenzy as they come together.]
Adam: How is Trent?
Kanyon: He's got this routine that he's supposed to be up for, but we have him being guarded right now by the O-line. Almost over, so I'm thinking they should be making their move soon.
Adam: Alright good... be on your guard... I'm going to head over there and talk to Kelly.
Kanyon: The girl with the pet rat?
Adam: Chinchilla... and yes... she's...
Kanyon: Yeah she is a nice piece of booty, but don't you think she seems a bit you know... stuck up?
Adam: What are you talking about? I'm thinking I could see us together...
Kanyon: I'm thinking I've seen her with half the football team...
Adam: Oh shut up...
[Adam walks over towards where the cheerleaders are standing around talking with Kanyon behind him and few football players already standing there. Adam walks over and taps her on the shoulder politely, she turns around and smiles.]
Kelly: Well, if it isn't the soon to be captain of the team, what are you up to.
Adam: How is Mr. Giggles doing?
Kelly: -laughs- He was pretty traumitized by fat boy's foot, but he'll recover, thanks for asking.
Adam: Hey, what are you doing after this whole thing tonight?
Kelly: I don't know, I figured I'd just go back to my room and get some rest, been a long first day you know.
Kanyon: That sounds great, we'll just let you get that done ok?
Adam: Shut up Curtis... Anyway, I was just wanting to see if you wanted to...
Voice: What is this... one of you lame ass lizards hitting on my girl?
[Standing there with Joe Everyman as his little side kick is Lex Sense putting his arm over Kelly's shoulder, glaring at Adam. Adam lifts an eyebrow in confusion before he makes a polite bowing motion with his head. Kelly rolls her eyes as she half looks up at Lex.]
Adam: Sorry, you must have mistaken my friendly banter for something else...
Lex: No, you were trying to mack in on my woman, I should punch your head off right here!
Kanyon: Look pal, we don't want any trouble... honest mistake.
Joe: Screw that, nobody touches Lex's girl without facing the **bleeping** wrath of **bleeping** Joe Everyman god**bleep**it!
Adam: What is wrong with him?
Lex: He's mad... so he's cussing, that's how you tell when you're in too dip, so maybe you should take this opportunity to back off before I kick your teeth out of your mouth.
Kelly: Lex stop being a jerk, they live across from me and Syd, no reason to get all defensive.
Lex: Bull if it isn't a good enough reason... you look here you two little boys, don't even look at my woman again or I'll make the beating we're going to give you in the first game look like child's play. Going to be the 10th year in a row that you've lost first game to us, going to be great.
Adam: Wait wait wait... You play for Bundy University?
Lex: Quarterback... starting Quarterback and you guys are going to get embarrassed this year... we're pre-season number one for a reason.
Joe: Yeah! He's the best **bleeping** Ever you stupid **bleeps** so you should just **bleeping** walk away before you **bleeping** get...
Kelly: Joe SHUT up.
[Lex and Joe smile at them smirking over their trash talking. Adam shakes his head determined not to let anything get out of hand. Adam and Kanyon turn to walk away.]
Lex: Yeah you better run, about what I expected from you Lizard pansies... smart move.
Kanyon: Can I deck him yet?
Adam: Lets go for it...
[Adam and Kanyon turn around and rush at Joe and Lex, and fists begin flying and people begin freaking out. The other team members rush in to break it up and Kelly tries to pull Lex away but it doesn't seem to be working as a everybody is trying to restore some order, that is until a random person runs in and begins screaming.]
Person: They got Sir Isaac Newton, he's gone!
[Everybody at Trumane stops and looks up in surprise as Lex and Joe begin stepping away smiling. Lex spits on the ground then waves goodbye as he grabs Kelly's hand and drags her alogn with him.]
Adam: Those bastards set us up...
Kanyon: It was all a destraction!?
Adam: Yeah and we fell for it like a couple of idiots... dammit.
{{SCENE CHANGE: THE NEXT DAY}}
Kanyon: You ok?
Trent: Yeah, nothing hurt but my pride I don't guess.
[We open up inside the room of Adam and Kanyon as Trent sits on his bed with a laptop in his hands.]
Trent: The worst part was seeing it on youtube.
[He turns the computer around and shows his two new friends, he face palm and shake their heads.]
Adam: Dude we're sorry, it's all our fault, we let those jerks get to us.
Trent: It's fine guys... It's over with now... I just wish they wouldn't have stripped me down to my underpants before doing it.
Kanyon: At least they left the lizard head on....
Trent: Salamander!
Kanyon: Whatever.
[There is a knocking on the door, and Adam yells for whoever it is to come in and it just so happens to be Kelly, Sydney and Crystal.]
Kelly: How are you doing Trent?
Kanyon: he's doing fine... no thanks to you traitor.
Kelly: Shut up, I'm sorry my boyfriend is such a jerk but... I had nothing to do with it, Trent is part of our routines you know, we didn't want him to get tied up and pinata'ed either.
Kanyon: Yeah whatever, you just so happen to be dating the captain of the opposing team? Traitor!
Adam: Yeah... maybe a little something you would have thought to mention you know when you first met us and we told you we were on the team
Kelly: Sorry I don't go introducing myself as Lex Sense's girlfriend.
Adam: I guess we'll just have to pay them back during the game...
Sydney: Tough luck with that... They're the hands down favorites to win the championship this year and we only won three games last year.
Trent: Yeah guys... it's just one of those things.
Kanyon: Look we're not going to just let them get away with this... they embarrassed us, especially Trent... we have to do something!
Adam: How about a little eye for an eye revenge? They took our mascot... we'll grab theirs.
Kanyon: That sounds good to me....
Kelly: You mean Mutton Matt, it’s a live Ram...
Adam: Then we’re making lamb chops.
Crystal: Actually lamb comes from a young...
Kelly: Shut up Crystal. Look you guys are crazy you’re never getting in there to get near the thing.
Adam: Are we? You girls do us a favor and go get some goat food or something, because we’re bringing that thing back here tonight!
Kanyon: Come on, lets rock it Helms, we gotta get a plan together, excuse us ladies.
{{LATER THAT NIGHT}}
[Adam, Kanyon, and Helms are dressed in all black with sky masks cover their faces hiding behind a bush. Looking over at a building that we can guess houses Mutton Matt.]
Adam: Alright Kanyon... according to Kelly from what Lex has told her, they keep Mutton Matt holed up there behind the Agricultural Arts building, protected fence with security camera’s out there and after their big steal Sir Isaac Newton prank every year, they usually have guards there before the big game just in case of a situation like this.
Kanyon: Most likely that jackass Sense and his little squirt of a friend Joe Everyman will be there personally....
Trent: Why?
Kanyon: Lets just say we had a run in with them last night and I’m pretty sure they’ll be expecting us personally to be trying it, they’d like to bust us after we decked them
Trent: Gotcha.
Adam: Alright lets go around the building, should be some livestock pins back there.
[The three men slowly make their way around where they come to the big fence that guards the place, Trent points to the security cameras around the place then Kanyon points at the two guaring the ram.]
Kanyon: And there are those two jackwagons.
Adam: Alright, the cameras shouldn’t be a problem, the school doesn’t have security guards, and they’re already going to know it’s us or at least people from the college, so all we need to do is make this fast, we run in, nab the thing and then get him out of here. Lets get to phase one.. Kanyon you got Lex and Joe’s home phone numbers off their facebook pages right?
Kanyon: Yep, snuck right in and get them off Kelly’s laptop and her account.
Adam: Good, Trent, you call one set of parents and Kanyon you call the others, using the schools VOIP from their unsecured wireless access... go...
[Kanyon and Trent pull out small netbook laptops and crack into the system, they make the calls telling both set of parents how their sons have been involved in an altercation and will be kicked out of school before they hang up abruptly. Adam gets in close to the fence and clares at them.]
Adam: Any second now....
[Joe and Sense both get calls on their cell phones about the same time and we can see their shocked faces as they both head away from the pin to take care of their personal business, the three men smile.]
Adam: Ok Trent you stay here and go cut the lock on that gate so we can get the thing out of here without having to throw it over a fence go it? Lets roll Kanyon!
[Adam and Kanyon jump the fence and make their way over to the post in the ground where the animal is being caged, they grab his chain and head back to the gate when suddenly blue and red lights begin flashing, police men are standing around, some holding Trent with his arms behind his back and Lex and Joe walk back behind Adam and Kanyon smiling as they grab the ram’s chain away from them.]
Officer: Put your hands up...
Lex: Nice try jackasses. Really thought you could pull one over on us.. you really thought Kelly wasn’t going to tell me what you were planning?!
Joe: Yeah you goes are mother**bleeping** idiots what the **bleep** is wrong with you **bleeping** morons!? We **bleeped** you up, suck on that you **bleepers**!
[Curtis turns to Adam.]
Kanyon: I’m really beginning to hate these guys.
Adam: Me too Kanyon... me too.
{{SCENE CHANGE: THE NEXT DAY IN THE DEAN’S OFFICE AFTER BEING RELEASED FROM JAIL}}
[Dean Gib stands up in front of Adam, Trent, and Kanyon pacing back and forth looking furious.]
Gib: So this is how you boys want to start off your collegiate careers? By getting arrested?! You should really rethink where you’re priorities lay!
Adam: Come on, this is bull crap... they KIDNAPPED Trent and nobody did a thing about it!
Gib: That is school tradition from a long standing rivalry, of course not, you committed breaking and entering on school grounds and then theft!
Kanyon: Again like Adam said, what they did was worse!
Gib: It doesn’t matter... could somebody press charges? Sure they could, but that’s not how these interstate school rivalries and pranks work you know that. However you apparently did something to cross their line of tolerance and ended up paying for it... I’m sorry boys but I have no chance but to put you on probation... and you know the Coach’s rule, you get into trouble like that and it’s a one game suspension, so you won’t even get to play in the game... I hope it was wroth it.
Adam: Come on that’s not fair! We can’t even...
Gib: Sorry kids, but you’re lucky you’re getting off this easy, you’re lucky I don’t kick you out of this school right here and now, so I’d leave here and be thankful for it.
[Adam, Gib, and Trent slowly make their ways back to their room with their heads lowered in shame. They swing the door open and standing there is Kelly Fox. Kanyon’s face turns red as he rushes towards her like he’s about to attack, but Adam and Trent hold him back.]
Kanyon: What the hell are you doing here bitch!?
Adam: KANYON! Calm down! It’s not her fault....
Trent: Wait... yes it is.
Kelly: Guys I’m so sorry... I didn’t know he was going to do that.. I just warned him so you guys wouldn’t do anything stupid or something like that would happen... I didn’t know.
Kanyon: Like hell you didn’t know!
Adam: KANYON!
Kanyon: Dammit fine! I’m going to get something to eat before I really do get kicked out of here... for breaking a little girl in half.
[Kanyon and Trent storm away as they exit the room. Kelly’s face looks really somber as she tries to talk but nothing comes out at first. She shakes her head and decides to go in a different direction.]
Kelly: I told him off for what he did...
Adam: Oh? That’s nice.
Kelly: I’m sorry that I ratted you out but he was my boyfriend, I didn’t know he’d take it that far...
Adam: It’s fine Kelly... Like you said we probably weren’t going to win this game this week anyway right? Probably saved me and Kanyon the embarrassment of losing... anyway, I’m going to go catch up with Trent and Kanyon... later.
Kelly: Wait Adam!
[Adam turns around exasperated.]
Adam: yeah?
Kelly: You don’t know who me and Sydney’s fathers are do you?
Adam: No... why?
Kelly: I’m Kelly Fox... Leonard Fox, the school’s biggest booster’s daughter and Syd is the Dean Gib’s daughter... We could do everything we could to get you guys to play...
Adam: Wait... what? Why are you guys living here in a co-ed dorm for then?
Kelly: They want us to not be special or privileged or something like that... I don’t know... Crystal’s father is the same way...
Adam: You’d really try to do something like that for us? Why?
Kelly: Because it’s my fault... but if you were allowed to play you’d only have to do us one favor...
Adam: Yeah?
Kelly: Kick that crap out of those two and their team.
Adam: OH, you won’t have any problem with that being accomplished... don’t care what they are ranked preseason... uhh... thanks I guess Kelly.
Kelly: any time.
Adam: Well I suppose I should go catch some breakfast with those two now...
Kelly: Ok.. I’m sorry... again.
[Adam turns to head out of the room, but stops at the door, he turns around and looks back at Kelly, then looks outside, turns back again this time turning all the way around.]
Adam: You and the girls wouldn’t want to you know... come with us would you?
Kelly: Sure... what are we having...
Adam: Knowing the cafe... peppered water gravy on cardboard biscuits.
Kelly: Sounds delicious.
Adam: Well then... it’s a date.
[Kelly smiles as she walks towards the door where she playfully takes the arm Adam as extended out like a hook and wraps her arm into it. We fade out as the door closes behind them and Hall and Oates play again as the credits roll on this TV special pilot.]
Winning one battle means very little in the big picture of things.
Managing to sneak up on us, cattle prod us, and try to humiliate us...
Means next to nothing if you think about it.
Which coincidentally is just about what you're both worth.
What I find so funny is the whole pretentious attitude you seem to get every time you have a big match Joe Everyman. Every time you think have a chance to prove something that’s when you start whipping out the tripe about being the next in line, or ending reigns or destroying people. Act like you’re something special, or something amazing... as if you haven’t lost every world title match you’ve ever been in, as if you haven’t lost more matches than anybody else on the roster. Tell me Joe Everyman, whose godship have you actually brought down like Kratos on some blood lust rage? What king have you beheaded as if this was the French Revolution? See that’s the difference between true champions and true competitors like myself, compared to the insignificant specks like you... I don’t have to dream about my glory, I don’t have to pretend that I’m wearing a crown to feel important, all I have to do is look at my long list of accomplishments, look at the path of bodies laying on the ground from the trail I blazed and I can see what I’ve done and what makes me great. While you’re laying in your bed dreaming... I’m accomplishing, I’m making ideas and thoughts reality... while you drool into a pillow.
Still trying to get at my wife huh?
Still trying to use her as a pawn?
All just to get to me huh?
It’s wonderful seeing the lengths that I’ve driven you to Lex, it’s great watching you fight and struggle looking for a way to beat me and my partner as if that’s your last sole purpose in this world as if everything you wanted to be is riding on this moment. It’s great watching you like this, desperate almost, almost begging the gods above for a win or threatening to rip the door of the cockpit in my plane. Going to do some grunting and snarling next?
What is it with you Sense? What makes you think that you’re in my league?
Was it that loss to Chris Gardner that made you feel so special when you lose the only title you’ve ever held here? Maybe it was all those beatings that Rob Diamond has given you recently that make you feel all tingly inside?
You know what you really are? A pretender. Just like your tag team partner, I guess that’s what makes you such a perfect pair. I guess that’s why after getting randomly thrown together so many times because neither of you had anything better to do, you finally decided to make an official team, because you had so much alike. That’s so cute, it really is that you two think that you’re deserving of greatness, that you’re worthy of being considered in my and DDK’s league.
You dismissed us the last time we faced and all we did was came out there and kicked your asses across the ring. You said everything we did wasn’t important because we hadn’t faced you, the young and the hungry wolves who were ready for their turn... then we beat you.
What makes you think thigs are going to change here? You won all those little battles before the last match too... throwing me through a car window, blind siding us, talking all big and scary as if you were important, giving us the big boy Christian Bale promos... and it was still all for nothing becasue we still won.
You think you stand a chance this time?
Why because you really, really want it?
You can **** in one hand and really wish for a win over me and DDK in the other... lets see which one fills up first....
That’s what it feels like with you two though, like you’re just trying to seem important by challenging us... just hoping to capture some of our greatness...
yet you keep ending up with nothing in one hand, and a whole pile of Joe Everyman promos in the other...
Adam: Ahh man, this is going to be great... College, can you believe it we're finally here.
Kanyon: It's going to be kick ass, hot co-eds, drinking, debauchery and all night parties.
Adam: Yeah right... more like studying all night and football practice all day...
Kanyon: I'm fine with either way.... as long as I get a couple one night stands that I will inevitably later regret in life.
[Suddenly their door breaks open on the other side of their room as Kelly Fox comes running in looking at the floor. Kanyon licks his hand and then runs it through his hair as he stares at her get on all fours.]
Kanyon: Speaking of that... excuse me...
[Kanyon heads over to Kelly who suddenly shoots up and surprises him, sending him taking a step backwards as she frantically looks around.]
Kelly: I'm so sorry for this, but have either of you seen a chinchilla running through here? Mr. Giggles escaped from his cage.... oh hi... I'm Kelly by the way... but seriously... chinchilla...
Kanyon: What in the hell is a chinchilla... holy crap a rat!
[Kanyon rips his shoe off his foot and begins chasing after the furry creator running across the floor, Kelly screams as Kanyon takes a mighty swing down but Adam catches his arm and stops him before picking up Mr. Giggles and holding him.]
Kanyon: Adam what are you doing that thing might have rabies!
Adam: It's her chinchilla you ass!
Kanyon: A chinchilla is a fuzzy rat?
[Kelly shoves Kanyon in the chest and politely takes Mr. Giggles from Adam who is offering it to her.]
Kelly: Oh thank you! I don't know what would happen if I lost Mr. Giggles, or if some big idiot would have smashed him with a boot.
Kanyon: Hey, you're the one who let a rat out in our room...
Kelly: Stop calling Mr. Giggles a rat! God!
Adam: I'm really sorry about my friend over there, he can be a little... dense at times.
Kelly: It's ok... thank you again for saving my pet.... I love across the lounge by the way... looks like we're going to be neighbors.
Adam: Lucky us...
[Kelly laughs a quick chuckle before she smiles at Adam who is grinning back at her, their little moment though is broken up as Crystal Hilton and Sydney Famularo walk into the guy's room from the lounge area and look sad.]
Crystal: We couldn't find him anywhere Kelly...
Sydney: Oh, wow, looks like you got him.
Kelly: Oh hey girls, yeah they helped me.... meet or new neighbors... uh I didn't catch your names.
Adam: I'm Adam and my big oaf of a friend here is Kanyon.
Kelly: These are Sydney and Crystal, my best friends, but we have to go, got cheerleader practice.
Kanyon: Wait wait wait... we're living across the hall from three hot ass cheerleaders?
[Adam punches Kanyon in the upper arm who turns and looks at him confused.]
Kanyon: WHAT!?
Kelly: Despite that sexist remark... I'll answer... yes... well me and Syd are... Crystal is more like a member of the chess club.. but she likes to hang out with us.
Adam: Well that's great... me and Kanyon are on the football team...
Kanyon: Yeah Adam here was all-state, he's going to be a big star soon, with me
Kelly: Well then, I suppose we'll see you tonight at the big first day of school bon fire right?
Adam: Looking forward to it.
[The girls turn and exist the room as Kanyon and Adam nod their heads at each other, but they are suddenly shocked at the sight of somebody bursting into their room wearing a giant Lizard suit of some sort. Adam and Kanyon whip around in confusion. The man takes off the head and reveals himself to be Trent Helms.]
Adam: Who are you?
Trent: I'm your roommate...
Kanyon: Why are you dressed like a giant lizard?
Trent: Salamander thank you... I'm the mascot.. Sir Isaac NEWTon.
Adam: Are you running from something?
Trent: I'm the school mascot... don't you know the tradition between us and Bundy University right?
[They both shrug.]
Trent: Before the big bon fire the best players on their team “kidnap” Sir Isaac Newton and hang him from the goal post on their field and hit him with sticks... like a pinata while filming it. Every year they try...
Adam: Then don't be the mascot...
Kanyon: Seems like an easy solution to me..
Trent: It's supposed to be a sign of honor for our mascot and a rallying point for the big game if I'm captured you know... getting revenge and for Bundy it's supposed to be getting on over on us. The worst part is people are wanting it to happen! Bundy U is supposed to be good this year so They've been giving me high fives telling me how awesome I am and how this will really light a fire in the team.
Adam: So you like that kind of attention, but you just don't wan to be hanged from a goal post and beat with a wiffle bat?
Trent: Exactly. I've been having to watch my back all day, I think I saw them trying to make their move earlier but I ran in here...
Kanyon: Ok buddy, you're one of use now, we'll do our best to make sure nothing happens to you.
{{SCENE CHANGE: LATER THAT NIGHT}}
[That night Adam and DDK are dressed in their football jersey's outside with the burning fire behind them. They stand watching the cheerleaders getting the crowd worked into a frenzy as they come together.]
Adam: How is Trent?
Kanyon: He's got this routine that he's supposed to be up for, but we have him being guarded right now by the O-line. Almost over, so I'm thinking they should be making their move soon.
Adam: Alright good... be on your guard... I'm going to head over there and talk to Kelly.
Kanyon: The girl with the pet rat?
Adam: Chinchilla... and yes... she's...
Kanyon: Yeah she is a nice piece of booty, but don't you think she seems a bit you know... stuck up?
Adam: What are you talking about? I'm thinking I could see us together...
Kanyon: I'm thinking I've seen her with half the football team...
Adam: Oh shut up...
[Adam walks over towards where the cheerleaders are standing around talking with Kanyon behind him and few football players already standing there. Adam walks over and taps her on the shoulder politely, she turns around and smiles.]
Kelly: Well, if it isn't the soon to be captain of the team, what are you up to.
Adam: How is Mr. Giggles doing?
Kelly: -laughs- He was pretty traumitized by fat boy's foot, but he'll recover, thanks for asking.
Adam: Hey, what are you doing after this whole thing tonight?
Kelly: I don't know, I figured I'd just go back to my room and get some rest, been a long first day you know.
Kanyon: That sounds great, we'll just let you get that done ok?
Adam: Shut up Curtis... Anyway, I was just wanting to see if you wanted to...
Voice: What is this... one of you lame ass lizards hitting on my girl?
[Standing there with Joe Everyman as his little side kick is Lex Sense putting his arm over Kelly's shoulder, glaring at Adam. Adam lifts an eyebrow in confusion before he makes a polite bowing motion with his head. Kelly rolls her eyes as she half looks up at Lex.]
Adam: Sorry, you must have mistaken my friendly banter for something else...
Lex: No, you were trying to mack in on my woman, I should punch your head off right here!
Kanyon: Look pal, we don't want any trouble... honest mistake.
Joe: Screw that, nobody touches Lex's girl without facing the **bleeping** wrath of **bleeping** Joe Everyman god**bleep**it!
Adam: What is wrong with him?
Lex: He's mad... so he's cussing, that's how you tell when you're in too dip, so maybe you should take this opportunity to back off before I kick your teeth out of your mouth.
Kelly: Lex stop being a jerk, they live across from me and Syd, no reason to get all defensive.
Lex: Bull if it isn't a good enough reason... you look here you two little boys, don't even look at my woman again or I'll make the beating we're going to give you in the first game look like child's play. Going to be the 10th year in a row that you've lost first game to us, going to be great.
Adam: Wait wait wait... You play for Bundy University?
Lex: Quarterback... starting Quarterback and you guys are going to get embarrassed this year... we're pre-season number one for a reason.
Joe: Yeah! He's the best **bleeping** Ever you stupid **bleeps** so you should just **bleeping** walk away before you **bleeping** get...
Kelly: Joe SHUT up.
[Lex and Joe smile at them smirking over their trash talking. Adam shakes his head determined not to let anything get out of hand. Adam and Kanyon turn to walk away.]
Lex: Yeah you better run, about what I expected from you Lizard pansies... smart move.
Kanyon: Can I deck him yet?
Adam: Lets go for it...
[Adam and Kanyon turn around and rush at Joe and Lex, and fists begin flying and people begin freaking out. The other team members rush in to break it up and Kelly tries to pull Lex away but it doesn't seem to be working as a everybody is trying to restore some order, that is until a random person runs in and begins screaming.]
Person: They got Sir Isaac Newton, he's gone!
[Everybody at Trumane stops and looks up in surprise as Lex and Joe begin stepping away smiling. Lex spits on the ground then waves goodbye as he grabs Kelly's hand and drags her alogn with him.]
Adam: Those bastards set us up...
Kanyon: It was all a destraction!?
Adam: Yeah and we fell for it like a couple of idiots... dammit.
{{SCENE CHANGE: THE NEXT DAY}}
Kanyon: You ok?
Trent: Yeah, nothing hurt but my pride I don't guess.
[We open up inside the room of Adam and Kanyon as Trent sits on his bed with a laptop in his hands.]
Trent: The worst part was seeing it on youtube.
[He turns the computer around and shows his two new friends, he face palm and shake their heads.]
Adam: Dude we're sorry, it's all our fault, we let those jerks get to us.
Trent: It's fine guys... It's over with now... I just wish they wouldn't have stripped me down to my underpants before doing it.
Kanyon: At least they left the lizard head on....
Trent: Salamander!
Kanyon: Whatever.
[There is a knocking on the door, and Adam yells for whoever it is to come in and it just so happens to be Kelly, Sydney and Crystal.]
Kelly: How are you doing Trent?
Kanyon: he's doing fine... no thanks to you traitor.
Kelly: Shut up, I'm sorry my boyfriend is such a jerk but... I had nothing to do with it, Trent is part of our routines you know, we didn't want him to get tied up and pinata'ed either.
Kanyon: Yeah whatever, you just so happen to be dating the captain of the opposing team? Traitor!
Adam: Yeah... maybe a little something you would have thought to mention you know when you first met us and we told you we were on the team
Kelly: Sorry I don't go introducing myself as Lex Sense's girlfriend.
Adam: I guess we'll just have to pay them back during the game...
Sydney: Tough luck with that... They're the hands down favorites to win the championship this year and we only won three games last year.
Trent: Yeah guys... it's just one of those things.
Kanyon: Look we're not going to just let them get away with this... they embarrassed us, especially Trent... we have to do something!
Adam: How about a little eye for an eye revenge? They took our mascot... we'll grab theirs.
Kanyon: That sounds good to me....
Kelly: You mean Mutton Matt, it’s a live Ram...
Adam: Then we’re making lamb chops.
Crystal: Actually lamb comes from a young...
Kelly: Shut up Crystal. Look you guys are crazy you’re never getting in there to get near the thing.
Adam: Are we? You girls do us a favor and go get some goat food or something, because we’re bringing that thing back here tonight!
Kanyon: Come on, lets rock it Helms, we gotta get a plan together, excuse us ladies.
{{LATER THAT NIGHT}}
[Adam, Kanyon, and Helms are dressed in all black with sky masks cover their faces hiding behind a bush. Looking over at a building that we can guess houses Mutton Matt.]
Adam: Alright Kanyon... according to Kelly from what Lex has told her, they keep Mutton Matt holed up there behind the Agricultural Arts building, protected fence with security camera’s out there and after their big steal Sir Isaac Newton prank every year, they usually have guards there before the big game just in case of a situation like this.
Kanyon: Most likely that jackass Sense and his little squirt of a friend Joe Everyman will be there personally....
Trent: Why?
Kanyon: Lets just say we had a run in with them last night and I’m pretty sure they’ll be expecting us personally to be trying it, they’d like to bust us after we decked them
Trent: Gotcha.
Adam: Alright lets go around the building, should be some livestock pins back there.
[The three men slowly make their way around where they come to the big fence that guards the place, Trent points to the security cameras around the place then Kanyon points at the two guaring the ram.]
Kanyon: And there are those two jackwagons.
Adam: Alright, the cameras shouldn’t be a problem, the school doesn’t have security guards, and they’re already going to know it’s us or at least people from the college, so all we need to do is make this fast, we run in, nab the thing and then get him out of here. Lets get to phase one.. Kanyon you got Lex and Joe’s home phone numbers off their facebook pages right?
Kanyon: Yep, snuck right in and get them off Kelly’s laptop and her account.
Adam: Good, Trent, you call one set of parents and Kanyon you call the others, using the schools VOIP from their unsecured wireless access... go...
[Kanyon and Trent pull out small netbook laptops and crack into the system, they make the calls telling both set of parents how their sons have been involved in an altercation and will be kicked out of school before they hang up abruptly. Adam gets in close to the fence and clares at them.]
Adam: Any second now....
[Joe and Sense both get calls on their cell phones about the same time and we can see their shocked faces as they both head away from the pin to take care of their personal business, the three men smile.]
Adam: Ok Trent you stay here and go cut the lock on that gate so we can get the thing out of here without having to throw it over a fence go it? Lets roll Kanyon!
[Adam and Kanyon jump the fence and make their way over to the post in the ground where the animal is being caged, they grab his chain and head back to the gate when suddenly blue and red lights begin flashing, police men are standing around, some holding Trent with his arms behind his back and Lex and Joe walk back behind Adam and Kanyon smiling as they grab the ram’s chain away from them.]
Officer: Put your hands up...
Lex: Nice try jackasses. Really thought you could pull one over on us.. you really thought Kelly wasn’t going to tell me what you were planning?!
Joe: Yeah you goes are mother**bleeping** idiots what the **bleep** is wrong with you **bleeping** morons!? We **bleeped** you up, suck on that you **bleepers**!
[Curtis turns to Adam.]
Kanyon: I’m really beginning to hate these guys.
Adam: Me too Kanyon... me too.
{{SCENE CHANGE: THE NEXT DAY IN THE DEAN’S OFFICE AFTER BEING RELEASED FROM JAIL}}
[Dean Gib stands up in front of Adam, Trent, and Kanyon pacing back and forth looking furious.]
Gib: So this is how you boys want to start off your collegiate careers? By getting arrested?! You should really rethink where you’re priorities lay!
Adam: Come on, this is bull crap... they KIDNAPPED Trent and nobody did a thing about it!
Gib: That is school tradition from a long standing rivalry, of course not, you committed breaking and entering on school grounds and then theft!
Kanyon: Again like Adam said, what they did was worse!
Gib: It doesn’t matter... could somebody press charges? Sure they could, but that’s not how these interstate school rivalries and pranks work you know that. However you apparently did something to cross their line of tolerance and ended up paying for it... I’m sorry boys but I have no chance but to put you on probation... and you know the Coach’s rule, you get into trouble like that and it’s a one game suspension, so you won’t even get to play in the game... I hope it was wroth it.
Adam: Come on that’s not fair! We can’t even...
Gib: Sorry kids, but you’re lucky you’re getting off this easy, you’re lucky I don’t kick you out of this school right here and now, so I’d leave here and be thankful for it.
[Adam, Gib, and Trent slowly make their ways back to their room with their heads lowered in shame. They swing the door open and standing there is Kelly Fox. Kanyon’s face turns red as he rushes towards her like he’s about to attack, but Adam and Trent hold him back.]
Kanyon: What the hell are you doing here bitch!?
Adam: KANYON! Calm down! It’s not her fault....
Trent: Wait... yes it is.
Kelly: Guys I’m so sorry... I didn’t know he was going to do that.. I just warned him so you guys wouldn’t do anything stupid or something like that would happen... I didn’t know.
Kanyon: Like hell you didn’t know!
Adam: KANYON!
Kanyon: Dammit fine! I’m going to get something to eat before I really do get kicked out of here... for breaking a little girl in half.
[Kanyon and Trent storm away as they exit the room. Kelly’s face looks really somber as she tries to talk but nothing comes out at first. She shakes her head and decides to go in a different direction.]
Kelly: I told him off for what he did...
Adam: Oh? That’s nice.
Kelly: I’m sorry that I ratted you out but he was my boyfriend, I didn’t know he’d take it that far...
Adam: It’s fine Kelly... Like you said we probably weren’t going to win this game this week anyway right? Probably saved me and Kanyon the embarrassment of losing... anyway, I’m going to go catch up with Trent and Kanyon... later.
Kelly: Wait Adam!
[Adam turns around exasperated.]
Adam: yeah?
Kelly: You don’t know who me and Sydney’s fathers are do you?
Adam: No... why?
Kelly: I’m Kelly Fox... Leonard Fox, the school’s biggest booster’s daughter and Syd is the Dean Gib’s daughter... We could do everything we could to get you guys to play...
Adam: Wait... what? Why are you guys living here in a co-ed dorm for then?
Kelly: They want us to not be special or privileged or something like that... I don’t know... Crystal’s father is the same way...
Adam: You’d really try to do something like that for us? Why?
Kelly: Because it’s my fault... but if you were allowed to play you’d only have to do us one favor...
Adam: Yeah?
Kelly: Kick that crap out of those two and their team.
Adam: OH, you won’t have any problem with that being accomplished... don’t care what they are ranked preseason... uhh... thanks I guess Kelly.
Kelly: any time.
Adam: Well I suppose I should go catch some breakfast with those two now...
Kelly: Ok.. I’m sorry... again.
[Adam turns to head out of the room, but stops at the door, he turns around and looks back at Kelly, then looks outside, turns back again this time turning all the way around.]
Adam: You and the girls wouldn’t want to you know... come with us would you?
Kelly: Sure... what are we having...
Adam: Knowing the cafe... peppered water gravy on cardboard biscuits.
Kelly: Sounds delicious.
Adam: Well then... it’s a date.
[Kelly smiles as she walks towards the door where she playfully takes the arm Adam as extended out like a hook and wraps her arm into it. We fade out as the door closes behind them and Hall and Oates play again as the credits roll on this TV special pilot.]
Winning one battle means very little in the big picture of things.
Managing to sneak up on us, cattle prod us, and try to humiliate us...
Means next to nothing if you think about it.
Which coincidentally is just about what you're both worth.
What I find so funny is the whole pretentious attitude you seem to get every time you have a big match Joe Everyman. Every time you think have a chance to prove something that’s when you start whipping out the tripe about being the next in line, or ending reigns or destroying people. Act like you’re something special, or something amazing... as if you haven’t lost every world title match you’ve ever been in, as if you haven’t lost more matches than anybody else on the roster. Tell me Joe Everyman, whose godship have you actually brought down like Kratos on some blood lust rage? What king have you beheaded as if this was the French Revolution? See that’s the difference between true champions and true competitors like myself, compared to the insignificant specks like you... I don’t have to dream about my glory, I don’t have to pretend that I’m wearing a crown to feel important, all I have to do is look at my long list of accomplishments, look at the path of bodies laying on the ground from the trail I blazed and I can see what I’ve done and what makes me great. While you’re laying in your bed dreaming... I’m accomplishing, I’m making ideas and thoughts reality... while you drool into a pillow.
Still trying to get at my wife huh?
Still trying to use her as a pawn?
All just to get to me huh?
It’s wonderful seeing the lengths that I’ve driven you to Lex, it’s great watching you fight and struggle looking for a way to beat me and my partner as if that’s your last sole purpose in this world as if everything you wanted to be is riding on this moment. It’s great watching you like this, desperate almost, almost begging the gods above for a win or threatening to rip the door of the cockpit in my plane. Going to do some grunting and snarling next?
What is it with you Sense? What makes you think that you’re in my league?
Was it that loss to Chris Gardner that made you feel so special when you lose the only title you’ve ever held here? Maybe it was all those beatings that Rob Diamond has given you recently that make you feel all tingly inside?
You know what you really are? A pretender. Just like your tag team partner, I guess that’s what makes you such a perfect pair. I guess that’s why after getting randomly thrown together so many times because neither of you had anything better to do, you finally decided to make an official team, because you had so much alike. That’s so cute, it really is that you two think that you’re deserving of greatness, that you’re worthy of being considered in my and DDK’s league.
You dismissed us the last time we faced and all we did was came out there and kicked your asses across the ring. You said everything we did wasn’t important because we hadn’t faced you, the young and the hungry wolves who were ready for their turn... then we beat you.
What makes you think thigs are going to change here? You won all those little battles before the last match too... throwing me through a car window, blind siding us, talking all big and scary as if you were important, giving us the big boy Christian Bale promos... and it was still all for nothing becasue we still won.
You think you stand a chance this time?
Why because you really, really want it?
You can **** in one hand and really wish for a win over me and DDK in the other... lets see which one fills up first....
That’s what it feels like with you two though, like you’re just trying to seem important by challenging us... just hoping to capture some of our greatness...
yet you keep ending up with nothing in one hand, and a whole pile of Joe Everyman promos in the other...