Post by Rob Diamond on Jul 25, 2011 16:45:10 GMT -6
{ Open on Rob Diamond strutting his stuff backstage. As he passes the ladies locker room they all simultaneously pass out, their sex drives sent into visual over load by the World Champion. He laughs, it happens all the time, Steve knows what I'm talking about. He passes the men's locker room and with just a nod and a wink they begin to question their sexuality, some more than others... (JOE EVERYMAN) Then Rob comes to his destination, the office of Leonard Fox. He runs his hand through his hair, adjusts his balls and world title then knocks on the door. }
Leonard: Come in.
{ Rob opens the door and struts in like Vinnie Mac. }
Rob: Yo.
Leonard: Please, take a seat.
{ Rob walks over, removes the world title and uses it to gently brush off a corner of Fox's desk before throwing his weight down onto it, leaning back onto his elbows he smiles. }
Rob: Whats up doc?
Leonard: Lovely...
{ Leo rubs his temples as he tries to ignore Rob's blatant efforts to irritate him. }
Leonard: Look, we all know why I asked you here.
Rob: Zelda.
Leonard: Exactly. I'm tired of this, EXTREMELY tired.
Rob: Should a bold typed that.
Leonard: Huh?
Rob: Nothing.
Leonard: I can't have MY champions, especially a WORLD champion taking MY belts onto another companies show. You understand?
Rob: Yeah, I think I get the concept.
Leonard: Which is why I have to take drastic measures...
{ Rob's eyes slowly become little slits in his beautifully eye lined face. }
Rob: Like what, Fox?
{ Leonard sighs and then slowly he slides something across the desk to Rob. }
Rob: Whats that?
{ Fox looks up, seemingly defeated. }
Leonard: My final offer...
{ Jaw. Floor. Fade. }
"Man it feels good to be a gangsta."
{ Close up on the smirk. }
"I'll admit it, Sunday night when we were out there together, ripping it up for old time's sake like we hadn't just spent the last sixty or so days trying to kill each other... I got a little hard."
{ He shrugs. }
"I don't know what it was. Could of just been the excitement of watching the hope slowly die in Andrew Jacobsen as he realized that Alex had no intentions of breaking up that submission. It could of been the way you helped me up when I was down like we were still boys. Hell, it could of been the way everything just felt right in the world when Amber announced the winners as "Infamous." I don't know. What I do know is my dick did a little dance last night when we got a two for one win over the brother's AJ."
{ He half laughs, sorta like a "Heh" but not as audible. Yeah. }
"And it's a real shame it's all got to come to an end, at least for one night only."
{ Oh well. }
"But that's the name of the game. Sunday, at Picture Perfect in front of the whole entire world it's gonna be Rob Diamond versus Steve Awesome one last time for the World Championship, two of out of three falls baby, a singles, a submission and who knows we may even make it all the way to the Cell. **** the Death Cage. Suck on it Assault X. Hey Honor rules, BLOW ME! Steve and I are going to be the match of the ****ing decade bitches."
{ And you all ****ing know it. }
"And when it's all said and done, when the dust settles and all that other **** we are going to know beyond a shadow of a doubt who the best goddam wrestler on the planet is ladies and gentlemen."
{ He winks. }
"I'll give you a hint..."
{ Joe is gonna need this more than you but here it goes. }
"He actually HAS a job."
{ What does "CM" stand for anyway? Cock Money? }
"The real question is, is it me or is it Steve Awesome? That's what everyone has been asking themselves ever since I won the World title. Sure, before, when Steve and I were just kicking it, beating on Homeless Harold 2.0 and my big psychotic brother Maniac, it was plain as day that the former world champ and hall of famer was the "better" of the two of us. But once I made Falcon tap-tap-tap that mat for mercy, existence as you know it came into question."
{ Is there a god? Why are Twinkies so disgusting yet... delicious? And what the **** is up with blankets? }
"Then the world started to wonder, is Steve really better? Sure, he beat him some Trent Helms and made him question the where abouts of his nut sack. But then I beat Trent Helms too, without the use of weapons and all that fancy ****. Sure, Steve romped him some Harold, even unmasked the big fugger, but then I broke his son... Twice. And I ****ing love the guy."
{ He actually has a naked picture of him in his locker... And that, my dear friends named Jimmy Zane is how you make a gay joke classy. }
"So who is better? Who is the real Face of nCw? Who is more... INFAMOUS?"
{ Rob dusts off the world title like it's not him. }
"I don't know man, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's me... Mostly because I beat you without the added assistance of a vaginal crutch. But hey, I could be wrong."
{ Doubtful. }
"Let's say we find the **** out."
{ Hell yeah. }
"Suck it."
{ Like there is no tomorrow. }
Rob: Final offer, huh?
{ Fox nods his head rather slowly. }
Leonard: That's correct.
Rob: And what precisely is in this final offer?
Leonard: Everything.
{ Rob perks up just a little and leans in a bit closer to Leo. }
Rob: Everything?
{ Fox looks up at Rob and actually looks sad, like a puppy who crapped on the carpet then took the beating of his life time, or Joe Everyman every Sunday night at midnight. Your pick. }
Leonard: Everything.
Rob: When you say everything...
Leonard: I mean absolutely every last demand Zelda has made is met if she brings the World title back to nCw where it belongs...
Rob: Sweet.
{ Rob grabs up the contract and jumps off the desk. He's all but out the door when Leo pipes up. }
Leonard: Under one condition.
{ Rob throws on the "E" brake and stops, turns and glares. }
Rob: Condition?
Leonard: Page 3, paragraph five, line two.
{ Rob flipped open the contract to the appropriate page and paragraph, his eyes rapidly read the line... }
Rob: You son of a fuc-
Leonard: Uh, no need for foul language.
{ Rob lowered the contract and looked at Leo like Jimmy Zane looks at anyone with their name written in yellow text. }
Rob: You really are the biggest piece of donkey sh-
Leonard: Please Mr. Diamond, if you could deliver that contract to Ms. Knite for me, I'd be very appreciative.
Rob: Yeah, I'll give it to her, but you better believe your gonna regret this.
{ Fox mockingly thinks about it. }
Leonard: No, I'm pretty sure I won't. Despite what yourself and Ms. Knite like to believe you are both very replicable. Why do you think I brought B.W.A. back? I could have Simon Daye or Nathan Webb in your spot in a matter of months, Mr. Diamond. Remember that.
{ Rob grits his teeth and begins to turn to leave Fox's office before something bad happens. }
Leonard: Good luck this weekend Mr. Diamond, Steve is after all, the crown jewel of this company.
Rob: **** you.
{ Fade. }
{ Fade back in on Rob emphasizing his Andrew Jacobsen "#1 Gun" t-shirt. }
"What a crazy couple of months, huh Steve?"
{ Out of this world almost. }
"I mean when you really think about it, we went from two bitter assholes that kind of needed each other to two best friends dominating the tag team division right into two major rivals fighting over the World title in like a four month span. THAT'S CRAZY!"
{ Can't make this **** up. Seriously. Try it. It's difficult. }
"And here we are just a week away from probably the biggest match of our careers. What with you needing to prove once and for all that you really are the Face of the Franchise and me needing to prove I can beat you beyond a shadow of a doubt..."
{ He pauses, thinks, then grins. }
"And I honestly can't think of anything new to say. Can you? I mean I covered the whole 'your bitch bailed you out' thing and you dug up the old 'suicide' joke like it's still hot all the while ignoring the real reason I tried to kill myself or the fact that I came back from near death and owned Falcon like his name was Jack Hamster."
{ Sometimes I ****ing hate Joe so good. }
"And we both went back and forth with the not so subtle threats on one anothers careers all while acknowledging the fact that neither one of us probably has the balls to go through with it, and honestly, your right. What would I do without you?"
{ Probably and begrudgingly hang out with the Ace a little more. }
"Not kill myself if that's what you were thinking."
"So what else is there to say Steve? I'm more bad ass than you? Your more of an asshole than me? Crystal helped you? I used brass knucks? I can't believe you've actually taken the time out of your life to perfectly plan your little love story/break up/How the Steve stole X-Mas just in time for Picture Perfect?"
{ And he made fun of me for doing the same thing... }
"Honestly, I'm out man. I've got nothing. Your a world class wrestler who could easily beat the **** out of any man on the planet... Save me. And Sunday Night you get the chance to two out of three times. Your little journey back to the top comes to it's final chapter. It's put up or shut up time for Steve Awesome. He crushed the monkey on his back known as Trent Helms and now all he has left to do before he can ride off into the sunset is win back this."
{ He slowly pats the main plate of the World Title. }
"And Steve, as much as I enjoy your play on Zelda's 'Legend' puns, I just can't let that happen man. I'm sorry. If it were anyone else with this world title, I'd sit back and laugh as Steve finally over came the odds and once again reigned supreme on top of nCw."
{ He slowly lowers the belt out of shot. }
"But it isn't anyone else, it's me and I'm not done playing this little game yet."
{ Yeah, that's right, he's bringing in the video game puns baby. }
"So when you sit back this week prepping your little self pep talk about how this your dream and nothing is going to stop you this time, try to keep in mind that nothing was going to stop you in the Riot... And nothing was going to stop you in that four way with Angel, Adam and Brad... And nothing was going to stop you against Falcon... Or in the Road to the Gold... Or at a Night to Remember... Or at Reborn... Nothing was going to stop you..."
{ You better believe he's smiling bitches. }
"Except the men across the ring from you."
{ Oh the truth, it stings! }
"Try to look at the bright side, by the time you finish putting your ego back together again you'll be right on time for Road to the Gold V, and if worst comes to worst, the third annual Riot and then there is always next years Coliseum."
"Did I say suck it yet? I did, oh... Well suck it again!"
{ Fade. }
Leonard: Come in.
{ Rob opens the door and struts in like Vinnie Mac. }
Rob: Yo.
Leonard: Please, take a seat.
{ Rob walks over, removes the world title and uses it to gently brush off a corner of Fox's desk before throwing his weight down onto it, leaning back onto his elbows he smiles. }
Rob: Whats up doc?
Leonard: Lovely...
{ Leo rubs his temples as he tries to ignore Rob's blatant efforts to irritate him. }
Leonard: Look, we all know why I asked you here.
Rob: Zelda.
Leonard: Exactly. I'm tired of this, EXTREMELY tired.
Rob: Should a bold typed that.
Leonard: Huh?
Rob: Nothing.
Leonard: I can't have MY champions, especially a WORLD champion taking MY belts onto another companies show. You understand?
Rob: Yeah, I think I get the concept.
Leonard: Which is why I have to take drastic measures...
{ Rob's eyes slowly become little slits in his beautifully eye lined face. }
Rob: Like what, Fox?
{ Leonard sighs and then slowly he slides something across the desk to Rob. }
Rob: Whats that?
{ Fox looks up, seemingly defeated. }
Leonard: My final offer...
{ Jaw. Floor. Fade. }
"Man it feels good to be a gangsta."
{ Close up on the smirk. }
"I'll admit it, Sunday night when we were out there together, ripping it up for old time's sake like we hadn't just spent the last sixty or so days trying to kill each other... I got a little hard."
{ He shrugs. }
"I don't know what it was. Could of just been the excitement of watching the hope slowly die in Andrew Jacobsen as he realized that Alex had no intentions of breaking up that submission. It could of been the way you helped me up when I was down like we were still boys. Hell, it could of been the way everything just felt right in the world when Amber announced the winners as "Infamous." I don't know. What I do know is my dick did a little dance last night when we got a two for one win over the brother's AJ."
{ He half laughs, sorta like a "Heh" but not as audible. Yeah. }
"And it's a real shame it's all got to come to an end, at least for one night only."
{ Oh well. }
"But that's the name of the game. Sunday, at Picture Perfect in front of the whole entire world it's gonna be Rob Diamond versus Steve Awesome one last time for the World Championship, two of out of three falls baby, a singles, a submission and who knows we may even make it all the way to the Cell. **** the Death Cage. Suck on it Assault X. Hey Honor rules, BLOW ME! Steve and I are going to be the match of the ****ing decade bitches."
{ And you all ****ing know it. }
"And when it's all said and done, when the dust settles and all that other **** we are going to know beyond a shadow of a doubt who the best goddam wrestler on the planet is ladies and gentlemen."
{ He winks. }
"I'll give you a hint..."
{ Joe is gonna need this more than you but here it goes. }
"He actually HAS a job."
{ What does "CM" stand for anyway? Cock Money? }
"The real question is, is it me or is it Steve Awesome? That's what everyone has been asking themselves ever since I won the World title. Sure, before, when Steve and I were just kicking it, beating on Homeless Harold 2.0 and my big psychotic brother Maniac, it was plain as day that the former world champ and hall of famer was the "better" of the two of us. But once I made Falcon tap-tap-tap that mat for mercy, existence as you know it came into question."
{ Is there a god? Why are Twinkies so disgusting yet... delicious? And what the **** is up with blankets? }
"Then the world started to wonder, is Steve really better? Sure, he beat him some Trent Helms and made him question the where abouts of his nut sack. But then I beat Trent Helms too, without the use of weapons and all that fancy ****. Sure, Steve romped him some Harold, even unmasked the big fugger, but then I broke his son... Twice. And I ****ing love the guy."
{ He actually has a naked picture of him in his locker... And that, my dear friends named Jimmy Zane is how you make a gay joke classy. }
"So who is better? Who is the real Face of nCw? Who is more... INFAMOUS?"
{ Rob dusts off the world title like it's not him. }
"I don't know man, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's me... Mostly because I beat you without the added assistance of a vaginal crutch. But hey, I could be wrong."
{ Doubtful. }
"Let's say we find the **** out."
{ Hell yeah. }
"Suck it."
{ Like there is no tomorrow. }
Rob: Final offer, huh?
{ Fox nods his head rather slowly. }
Leonard: That's correct.
Rob: And what precisely is in this final offer?
Leonard: Everything.
{ Rob perks up just a little and leans in a bit closer to Leo. }
Rob: Everything?
{ Fox looks up at Rob and actually looks sad, like a puppy who crapped on the carpet then took the beating of his life time, or Joe Everyman every Sunday night at midnight. Your pick. }
Leonard: Everything.
Rob: When you say everything...
Leonard: I mean absolutely every last demand Zelda has made is met if she brings the World title back to nCw where it belongs...
Rob: Sweet.
{ Rob grabs up the contract and jumps off the desk. He's all but out the door when Leo pipes up. }
Leonard: Under one condition.
{ Rob throws on the "E" brake and stops, turns and glares. }
Rob: Condition?
Leonard: Page 3, paragraph five, line two.
{ Rob flipped open the contract to the appropriate page and paragraph, his eyes rapidly read the line... }
Rob: You son of a fuc-
Leonard: Uh, no need for foul language.
{ Rob lowered the contract and looked at Leo like Jimmy Zane looks at anyone with their name written in yellow text. }
Rob: You really are the biggest piece of donkey sh-
Leonard: Please Mr. Diamond, if you could deliver that contract to Ms. Knite for me, I'd be very appreciative.
Rob: Yeah, I'll give it to her, but you better believe your gonna regret this.
{ Fox mockingly thinks about it. }
Leonard: No, I'm pretty sure I won't. Despite what yourself and Ms. Knite like to believe you are both very replicable. Why do you think I brought B.W.A. back? I could have Simon Daye or Nathan Webb in your spot in a matter of months, Mr. Diamond. Remember that.
{ Rob grits his teeth and begins to turn to leave Fox's office before something bad happens. }
Leonard: Good luck this weekend Mr. Diamond, Steve is after all, the crown jewel of this company.
Rob: **** you.
{ Fade. }
{ Fade back in on Rob emphasizing his Andrew Jacobsen "#1 Gun" t-shirt. }
"What a crazy couple of months, huh Steve?"
{ Out of this world almost. }
"I mean when you really think about it, we went from two bitter assholes that kind of needed each other to two best friends dominating the tag team division right into two major rivals fighting over the World title in like a four month span. THAT'S CRAZY!"
{ Can't make this **** up. Seriously. Try it. It's difficult. }
"And here we are just a week away from probably the biggest match of our careers. What with you needing to prove once and for all that you really are the Face of the Franchise and me needing to prove I can beat you beyond a shadow of a doubt..."
{ He pauses, thinks, then grins. }
"And I honestly can't think of anything new to say. Can you? I mean I covered the whole 'your bitch bailed you out' thing and you dug up the old 'suicide' joke like it's still hot all the while ignoring the real reason I tried to kill myself or the fact that I came back from near death and owned Falcon like his name was Jack Hamster."
{ Sometimes I ****ing hate Joe so good. }
"And we both went back and forth with the not so subtle threats on one anothers careers all while acknowledging the fact that neither one of us probably has the balls to go through with it, and honestly, your right. What would I do without you?"
{ Probably and begrudgingly hang out with the Ace a little more. }
"Not kill myself if that's what you were thinking."
"So what else is there to say Steve? I'm more bad ass than you? Your more of an asshole than me? Crystal helped you? I used brass knucks? I can't believe you've actually taken the time out of your life to perfectly plan your little love story/break up/How the Steve stole X-Mas just in time for Picture Perfect?"
{ And he made fun of me for doing the same thing... }
"Honestly, I'm out man. I've got nothing. Your a world class wrestler who could easily beat the **** out of any man on the planet... Save me. And Sunday Night you get the chance to two out of three times. Your little journey back to the top comes to it's final chapter. It's put up or shut up time for Steve Awesome. He crushed the monkey on his back known as Trent Helms and now all he has left to do before he can ride off into the sunset is win back this."
{ He slowly pats the main plate of the World Title. }
"And Steve, as much as I enjoy your play on Zelda's 'Legend' puns, I just can't let that happen man. I'm sorry. If it were anyone else with this world title, I'd sit back and laugh as Steve finally over came the odds and once again reigned supreme on top of nCw."
{ He slowly lowers the belt out of shot. }
"But it isn't anyone else, it's me and I'm not done playing this little game yet."
{ Yeah, that's right, he's bringing in the video game puns baby. }
"So when you sit back this week prepping your little self pep talk about how this your dream and nothing is going to stop you this time, try to keep in mind that nothing was going to stop you in the Riot... And nothing was going to stop you in that four way with Angel, Adam and Brad... And nothing was going to stop you against Falcon... Or in the Road to the Gold... Or at a Night to Remember... Or at Reborn... Nothing was going to stop you..."
{ You better believe he's smiling bitches. }
"Except the men across the ring from you."
{ Oh the truth, it stings! }
"Try to look at the bright side, by the time you finish putting your ego back together again you'll be right on time for Road to the Gold V, and if worst comes to worst, the third annual Riot and then there is always next years Coliseum."
"Did I say suck it yet? I did, oh... Well suck it again!"
{ Fade. }