Post by Spike Kane on Jul 26, 2011 11:51:03 GMT -6
The tried to make me go to rehab and I said.....well, yes, and look...I'm still alive.
So once again I emerged victorious after stepping into the squared circle for the five millionth time with “Sexy” Jason Evans. I know it's a tired thing to say this, but I'm really fed up of beating that guy. I mean don't get me wrong, every single time I face him he gets better, he steps up. It makes me feel proud to know that he's trying, that to finally beat me would mean so much to him.
It means a lot to me to know that the backroom staff use me to set a standard. When people face me they are forced to step up, and that in itself is probably the biggest compliment anyone could ever offer me. To take that on the chin and try not to get a big head about it, is kind of hard....so I can understand why the likes of Rob Diamond and Steve Awesome let it get to them. It's fine....each to their own, right?
But then on the flip side, you go from wrestling on the flagship show against a guy who has been in and out of the company since it began and emerging victorious may I add....to competing on the Online Pay Per View Pre-Show.
That's a shot to the gut right there.
I guess it totally makes sense though right? Who was I kidding thinking I could do what I did, and then just go to rehab and be right back on the top of the mountain, riding the big wave of success I created nearly three years ago. I'm aware of what people think of me, and I'm aware that the faith and respect people had for me has been shaken or shattered, which is why being booked for the Web Show doesn't offend me. I don't take it as an insult....instead I take it in my stride and accept my lot. Once upon a time I was the most feared and respected man in this federation, and in this business.....I'm more than happy to work towards that goal once again.
So to make up for being on the Web Show, it seems they decided to give me an opponent that would definitely put me through my paces and make me earn the damn victory. Jake....The Ace....Conway. I have to say this before we even begin to go deeper, it's been a hell of a long time since we laced up our boots and faced each other in that squared circle. We've done this dance more than I can even try to remember....maybe I took too many shots to the head, but you'll vouch for me here that I'm not usually the best at remembering stats and the like, whereas you seem to excel at it. So I'm sure if I do say something wrong, you'll be super quick to correct me, and....thats fine.
In the past we've had some pretty intense matches, we've had some very heated contests, and I like to think we've pushed each other to the very edges of our abilities. We've said things, and we've done things that we probably both regret deep down. We've pushed each other beyond our physical limitations and lord knows how far past our mental limitations, but at the end of the day Jake. I may feel guilty, I may feel remorse...
But I wouldn't change a thing.
Because if I did change any of it, then we wouldn't be the men that we are today. We wouldn't be the wrestling legends that we have become, both in this federation and in this business as a whole. We are not restricted to one federation, our name transcends that and we have been successful everywhere we have been. Yes, it is true that at times I have taken credit for the wrestling machine that you have become. I've seen you become a greater wrestler than I ever thought you could be, and I won't lie, I do take a little bit of pride in that, but at the same time....I didn't create The Ace.
I don't take credit for you're work.
I may have set you on the path....a long, horrible, painful, sometimes sexually wrong path....but where you took it and how you came out the end is a testament to you're strengths Jake. It's a testament to how strong you are both mentally and physically. It is why I wanted you to run my wrestling school in my absence Jake...and believe me when I tell you this....it's because of all of these things.
That I will not take you lightly come Picture Perfect.
I know exactly what you bring to the ring Jake, and I'm not expecting you to go easy on me because your my friend. I'm not expecting you to be walking around eggshells because I was in rehab. I'm expecting you to come at me as hard as you ever have, if not harder.
Don't hold back Jake.
If you have to break me, break me.
This is a far cry from the Dragon's Den main events....but we're above card placement, and we'll give them one hell of a match to talk about!
~~~
I open my eyes and realise that I've been staring at my hands for far too long. The faint remnant of tears stains them and I'm brought back to my reality hard and harsh. I lift my head up to look around my room, it's spartan and almost like a prison. I'm sitting on the bed, which as at least comfortable and the chest of draws sitting opposite has a mirror and some books. They told me that it would be hard, that it could be painful.
They didn't tell me I'd be alone with my mind.
I run my hands through my hair and I think about the people I've left down. My throat hurts when I think of Alysson and how close we had become. In a couple of months I'd fallen head over heels for her. Something about a woman who can actually take charge and kick as much ass as me just seemed to hit the right spot. It's pretty intense.....it just cuts me up that she doesn't feel the same.
The sun blares through the window and catches my eyes, my body automatically reacts and slithers away. I feel like some form of rodent, sitting in the corner of a room whimpering to myself. It's what I deserve.....I let everybody down and it's all my fault. Ever since I started in New Championship Wrestling I've been done with all of that, done with the drugs, done with the alcohol....I just got so lonely. My friends seemed to ignore me, like I'd done something to separate me from the pack. Like I'd become the new Seth Drabble. It hurt....that nobody wanted to be around me, that the woman I've fallen in love with is both tainted by my brother and in love with someone else.
….what if it's Brad?
I can't deal with any more family drama. I look down at the scar on my hand. Not after the last time.
I turned to the thing that helped me when I first started wrestling, when I first wrestled for Little Simon Dynasty back in the Extreme Backyard Wrestling.....the pain, the loneliness.....I needed something and my friends from the Motorcycle Club took advantage of that, they knew I wanted to leave and they didn't want that. They wanted me to stay, to be hooked....so they got me into heroine and I crumbled. I became exactly what they wanted, but at the same time I managed to keep myself clean enough to wrestle. Then when I got signed to a real wrestling company, they provided me with a place to stay and a decent pay....I didn't need them anymore.
The truth be told....I've always needed it. People really don't like me, they hate me. How many people on this roster would give a crap if I dropped dead right now? Would they ring the ring bell in my honor? Would they do some form of memorial show? Or would they all celebrate?
I'm quite aware of the noises going on around me, the people going through the same experience as me and the workers here trying to help them through it. I hit one, and I feel so guilty....I couldn't help it, I just lost my mind....I guess thats me all over really isn't it? I lost my mind....
I'm selfish.
I'm cowardly.
I'm a disgrace to my family.
But I can fix it.....nCw has my back, for once. They want me to go through this to become a better person, and I know I can do it. I can become what they want me to do.....I can be the person people know I can be.
I'm going to do it.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I see myself smiling. Not like there's something going on behind the scenes, not like I'm hatching some kind of evil plan, just a genuine good intentions smile. I know I can do this.....I'm stronger than my mind let's me thing I am....I'm stronger than my father told me I was.
Look at what I've done with my life.....I'm not an ordinary person. I'm extraordinary
I feel my body warm up inside with a glimmer of hope.
I can do this.
~~~
I open my eyes and realise that I've been staring at my hands for far too long. The faint remnant of tears stains them and I'm brought back to my reality hard and harsh. I lift my head up to look around my room, it's spartan and almost like a prison. I'm sitting on the bed, which as at least comfortable and the chest of draws sitting opposite has a mirror and some books. They told me that it would be hard, that it could be painful.
They didn't tell me I'd be alone with my mind.
I run my hands through my hair and I think about the people I've left down. My throat hurts when I think of Alysson and how close we had become. In a couple of months I'd fallen head over heels for her. Something about a woman who can actually take charge and kick as much ass as me just seemed to hit the right spot. It's pretty intense.....it just cuts me up that she doesn't feel the same.
The sun blares through the window and catches my eyes, my body automatically reacts and slithers away. I feel like some form of rodent, sitting in the corner of a room whimpering to myself. It's what I deserve.....I let everybody down and it's all my fault. Ever since I started in New Championship Wrestling I've been done with all of that, done with the drugs, done with the alcohol....I just got so lonely. My friends seemed to ignore me, like I'd done something to separate me from the pack. Like I'd become the new Seth Drabble. It hurt....that nobody wanted to be around me, that the woman I've fallen in love with is both tainted by my brother and in love with someone else.
….what if it's Brad?
I can't deal with any more family drama. I look down at the scar on my hand. Not after the last time.
I turned to the thing that helped me when I first started wrestling, when I first wrestled for Little Simon Dynasty back in the Extreme Backyard Wrestling.....the pain, the loneliness.....I needed something and my friends from the Motorcycle Club took advantage of that, they knew I wanted to leave and they didn't want that. They wanted me to stay, to be hooked....so they got me into heroine and I crumbled. I became exactly what they wanted, but at the same time I managed to keep myself clean enough to wrestle. Then when I got signed to a real wrestling company, they provided me with a place to stay and a decent pay....I didn't need them anymore.
The truth be told....I've always needed it. People really don't like me, they hate me. How many people on this roster would give a crap if I dropped dead right now? Would they ring the ring bell in my honor? Would they do some form of memorial show? Or would they all celebrate?
I'm quite aware of the noises going on around me, the people going through the same experience as me and the workers here trying to help them through it. I hit one, and I feel so guilty....I couldn't help it, I just lost my mind....I guess thats me all over really isn't it? I lost my mind....
I'm selfish.
I'm cowardly.
I'm a disgrace to my family.
But I can fix it.....nCw has my back, for once. They want me to go through this to become a better person, and I know I can do it. I can become what they want me to do.....I can be the person people know I can be.
I'm going to do it.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I see myself smiling. Not like there's something going on behind the scenes, not like I'm hatching some kind of evil plan, just a genuine good intentions smile. I know I can do this.....I'm stronger than my mind let's me thing I am....I'm stronger than my father told me I was.
Look at what I've done with my life.....I'm not an ordinary person. I'm extraordinary
I feel my body warm up inside with a glimmer of hope.
I can do this.
~~~